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Thread: Too scared to go into work

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    Default Too scared to go into work

    I've been having an issue lately of being absolutely terrified of going into work. I have to pay my house fee up front and I'm scared that I'm going to go in only to go home negative or with less than $40. I've been working 2am shift (24hr club) because it's only $40 to work but some nights that's even a struggle.

    I use to be a top earner at most clubs I've worked at. I have many 1-2k nights. Last year around this time I was averaging about $1,200. Now it's a struggle to bring in $500. I don't know what's wrong with me. I get so freaked out talking to customers that I end up breaking down and crying in the back. I don't drink at work anymore; maybe I should start again?

    I'm scared that I'll never make money again and if I do, it's a fluke because one customer decided to really like me.

    I don't know what to do. I'm trying to get into a different line of work but the money is just as precarious (but at least I don't have to deal with men or take my clothes off!) I'm hoping that it will pay more than dancing eventually but for now, I need to stay at the club and make something. I can't pay my bills on only $40 a night :/

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    Featured Member Naida's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    This sounds like burn out to me.

    What you need is a change and a confidence boost. If you can afford to do so, take a week off and come back fresh. Maybe try a different shift, one that you've been confident working at previous clubs. If you don't already have a pre-work routine, try it out and listen to a playlist/CD that gets you pumped up and feeling happy while you get ready for work. Hell, maybe even skim just a bit off your savings and go shopping- get a couple new outfits and maybe a new perfume for work that make you feel sexier than hell. Try reading Think And Grow Rich, or enrolling with Strip And Grow Rich.
    Do not use alcohol for that confidence boost because you may fall (or fall back) into a cycle of dependence on it to work, and that's never a good thing.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    could i please inquire where it is that you work? i'm in agreement with ^^^ but am really curious where $500 is considered a bad night. Id kill to make that on a bad night.

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    I can't afford to take a week off work this week. I took Saturday-Tuesday off this week and luckily I had my side job to make up for the lost earnings but I won't be doing that this weekend. I just made a large purchase this year so I don't want to dip into my savings.

    I've tried to relax, get into my old pre-work routine, work shifts that I'm comfortable with. I'm even going to a different club to work tonight just for a chance of scenery. I don't feel unattractive, I feel extremely intimidated and overwhelmed by talking to customers. Outside of the club I don't have a problem talking to people and remaining composed but in the club, I completely fall apart and end up sitting in the back with my friends.

    I'm motivated to go into work, I'm just destroyed when I actually get on the floor.

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    Quote Originally Posted by audreyalice View Post
    could i please inquire where it is that you work? i'm in agreement with ^^^ but am really curious where $500 is considered a bad night. Id kill to make that on a bad night.
    I'm happy to make $500 on a bad night but $500 is more of a good night for me lately (which is half of my average a year ago). A lot of times I leave with less than $20

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    but what club/area is this?

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    Quote Originally Posted by audreyalice View Post
    but what club/area is this?
    vegas

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    Veteran Member Su Su's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    I've actually been going through that mind set, and came out of it.
    Taking some time off (like a week) to enjoy the little things in life really does help refresh the mind (and body). That's if you could afford it, but a few days is good as well.
    Think about the mind set and mood you were in when you were having good nights, try to get back into that mood (force yourself to smile)
    You will always have good nights! You just really gotta work it!! Simply thinking negative with enforce negative results.

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    sounds like you've been maybe putting too much pressure on yourself.. and if you are desperate and insecure about making money and scared it shows, even when you try and hide it..its just a bad vibe..and then you feel even WORSE when you don't make money and its just a vicious cycle. if you can't take a break, maybe find a reg to come in and give you a good confidence boost or do something that reminds you of how beautiful and what a great stripper you really are !

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    sounds like you've been maybe putting too much pressure on yourself.. and if you are desperate and insecure about making money and scared it shows, even when you try and hide it..its just a bad vibe..and then you feel even WORSE when you don't make money and its just a vicious cycle. if you can't take a break, maybe find a reg to come in and give you a good confidence boost or do something that reminds you of how beautiful and what a great stripper you really are !
    I went into a new club today with a good attitude. I didn't freak out after walking on the floor and I even made my house fee after my first customer. I left with $117 after 6 hours and I talked to every single available customer. All the other girls were walking out with $500+

    I'm starting to think I'm really fat, ugly, and worthless and shouldn't even bother stripping anymore. I have no regulars and I dumped my boyfriend that was temporarily helping me pay for some stuff. I have so many bills that will basically destroy all my savings if I can't make more than $100 per night.

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    It sounds like you're emotionally needy because you dumped your boyfriend. Its not the best mindset to make money. It is NOT beccause you are ugly, fat or worthless- its just the energy you're putting out at the moment... because your looks haven't changed significantly since you were making 1000+ a night.

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    It also sounds like you may have a touch of anxiety, which can affect your performance/hustle. Try yoga, I find it really helps to balance me out, and maybe meditation. Don't give up yet, it could just be that you're going through a lull, which is so common in this industry.
    Curiosity skilled the cat.

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    This is a really tough one. You're desperate for money, and that desperation is making it impossible for you to work with a pleasant demeanor, which is in turn scaring guys off (customers can smell desperation from a mile away).

    The only healthy option I see here is to give yourself a break from stripping. Do you have family who could help you out? Get a second job? Anything?

    The unhealthy option would be to have a drink to 'take the edge off' before hitting the floor as a temporary solution to help get you out of this need-money-but-too-anxious-to-make-money cycle. But I really believe that would backfire...you'd end up using too much, using for too long (after you've fixed your financial troubles), and you wouldn't end up fixing the problematic mentality that guys don't want you / you can't make money without liquid courage. The mentality is what needs fixing...otherwise any substance use will just put a temporary cushy layer on top of the real issue that could cause other issues. Some people use alcohol as a tool to enhance their personalities/hustles (we could argue over how healthy that is, but it doesn't really matter), and some people use alcohol as a crutch. The latter is far more unhealthy. Not recommended.


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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    This is a really tough one. You're desperate for money, and that desperation is making it impossible for you to work with a pleasant demeanor, which is in turn scaring guys off (customers can smell desperation from a mile away).

    The only healthy option I see here is to give yourself a break from stripping. Do you have family who could help you out? Get a second job? Anything?

    The unhealthy option would be to have a drink to 'take the edge off' before hitting the floor as a temporary solution to help get you out of this need-money-but-too-anxious-to-make-money cycle. But I really believe that would backfire...you'd end up using too much, using for too long (after you've fixed your financial troubles), and you wouldn't end up fixing the problematic mentality that guys don't want you / you can't make money without liquid courage. The mentality is what needs fixing...otherwise any substance use will just put a temporary cushy layer on top of the real issue that could cause other issues. Some people use alcohol as a tool to enhance their personalities/hustles (we could argue over how healthy that is, but it doesn't really matter), and some people use alcohol as a crutch. The latter is far more unhealthy. Not recommended.

    A break for how long? My family is unable to help me out but I do have a second job. Ideally I'd like for my second job to take over dancing so I can quit sometime by the end of this year but the job does not have a stable paycheck. The people I work with are out of town so I don't really have that option this weekend.

    I don't want to get drunk at work. I had a drink with a customer last night in effort to hustle him into a private room but even when I'm calm and just talking no one even wants a dance from me. I don't want to do drugs either since it's not worth damaging my health over a miserable hundred bucks.

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    im assuming you were/are at one of the top clubs. have you considered downgrading for a bit? the lower tier alcohol clubs still have vip hosts (to my knowledge...dont know much about the really tiny ones) and if you confidently introduce yourself to them on your first night and let them know youd love to work with them and always tip out hosts who hook you up 20-30% im sure they'll hook you up as soon as thwy can. so if youre at sapphire/sr, try og, cheetahs, etc. remember these clubs still kick back cabbies so they still get drunk tourists that didnt realize where they were going. quality customers always seem to accidentally end up at lessee tier clubs.

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    Quote Originally Posted by lighthouse View Post
    I don't want to get drunk at work. I had a drink with a customer last night in effort to hustle him into a private room but even when I'm calm and just talking no one even wants a dance from me. I don't want to do drugs either since it's not worth damaging my health over a miserable hundred bucks.
    I admire your resolve. You'll notice that I wasn't suggesting alcohol as a great option - you know yourself far better than any of the rest of us do.

    This is going to sound a bit bitchy - I don't mean it that way. I genuinely hope you can see and appreciate how many people have jumped in to offer words of advice and support for your story. I don't often see newer members' threads get so many responses. So if nothing else, I hope you can see that there are people out there who hear your words and empathize with your situation. That's more than what many people have!

    I know platitudes aren't very helpful, but they can help a bit with perspective: think of how many people are out there struggling financially who don't have the looks/courage to strip and make even $100 a night. You may not be considered a top earner in stripperland for those numbers, but you're doing pretty well for yourself.

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    You mentioned having friends at the club that you can sit down and pass the time with. I feel like going to a club where you don't know anyone really motivates you to work. You don't have anybody to socialize with so you realize you need to WORK. I also think the not drinking has to do with it. When you're used to drinking, it's hard to just stop. I understand. I think taking off a week would help. Maybe going to the spa. Make yourself feel good about yourself. New work outfits?

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    You mentioned having friends at the club that you can sit down and pass the time with. I feel like going to a club where you don't know anyone really motivates you to work. You don't have anybody to socialize with so you realize you need to WORK. I also think the not drinking has to do with it. When you're used to drinking, it's hard to just stop. I understand. I think taking off a week would help. Maybe going to the spa. Make yourself feel good about yourself. New work outfits?
    I socialize with anyone and everyone at work even if I personally don't know the girls. Since club hopping is frequent here, I know girls at pretty much all the clubs and if I don't, I'll find someone to be my friend for the night.

    I gave up drinking nine months ago. I've had a few drunk nights at the club but only because of several hours of VIP.

    I'm taking off next week to travel for another job but I need to make money this weekend to pay for my expenses. My flight was only $200 but I'm struggling to make that at the club. I need $2,000 to cover my bills and expenses and I'm only making $100 / shift......

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    You really need to focus on making money and not friends though. How about selling off any outfits you don't wear or like anymore? Listing some old shoes on craigslist for the foot weirdos? Did you ever get the contact info of the guys who you were in VIP for several hours ? I always make sure to get it so I can call if need be. They obviously had a great time with you, get them to come back.

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    You really need to focus on making money and not friends though. How about selling off any outfits you don't wear or like anymore? Listing some old shoes on craigslist for the foot weirdos? Did you ever get the contact info of the guys who you were in VIP for several hours ? I always make sure to get it so I can call if need be. They obviously had a great time with you, get them to come back.
    I get called to VIP by a lot of girls that I make friends with at the club so it's sometimes in good interest to chat it up casually with people in the back if you're not making any money. I can try to focus on money all I want but if I'm not making any, it's probably better to be friendly then sulk in a corner.

    I don't have many dancer outfits to sell since the ones I retire are worn to death. I rarely by new outfits and when I do, I wear is almost every single day. These outfits might sell for $5 in the condition they're in. As far as selling shoes; I use to do that online but I'd never do that over craigslist. Most people email you wanting to meet up and I'm tired of dealing with creeps.

    I share contact information when people that I do extended VIP with but I never get texted back. Most customers at my club are tourists who come into town once or twice a year.

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    lighthouse, what did you end up doing?

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    Quote Originally Posted by 2 tons of fun View Post
    lighthouse, what did you end up doing?
    I left town for a week to pursue another job but that ended up making no money.

    While I was gone, my "roommate" pretty much broke my car so that's another huge expense that I can't pay for. My ex gave me some money which doesn't make me feel very good. I'm pretty close to putting my house up on the market because if things continue to be this way, there is no way I could afford to keep it.

    I guess it's back to the club to try and hustle for $20! I should probably just agree to go home with customers because that's apparently the only way I'll make over $100
    Last edited by lighthouse; 04-30-2013 at 02:20 PM.

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    Default Re: Too scared to go into work

    If someone else destroyed my car I would sure as hell make sure they were held responsible for it.This is going to sound dumb and not helpful but I second whoever recommended yoga. any major city will have community/donation based classes. is there an Athleta store around you? The one in Philadelphia offers free yoga and also Intensati which is excellent. I really admire your resolve to not drink or do drugs at work I know its hard to hear but things will turn around...you've made badass money before and you will do it again. I know you said your family can't help you financially but do you have any emotional support there? big hugs.

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