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Thread: husband obsessed with my cam money..

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    Default husband obsessed with my cam money..

    Hi everyone,
    So I recently started becoming a camgirl on mfc, ive had my good and bad days. one of my first days I left with $315 in 5 hours and I was so proud of myself and then the next day $200 for 4 hours. I really enjoy being camgirl actually unless its super slow haha..
    anyhoo, Im married, and I borught up the being a camgirl with my husband not too long ago to see if he would be okay with me being one. He was kinda "iffy" with it but said I could. Before becoming a camgirl though i asked my husband if theres anything in particular he wouldnt be comfortable with me doing on there and he pretty much said he was fine with absolutly anything..suprisingly. I always thought my husband would really hate me being a camgirl knowing what its all about, but heres the problem....

    ever since becoming a camgirl (by the way i am fulltime i do 11 hour shifts 4 days a week) my husband is CONSTANTLY asking me when im going to get online he will be like "when are you getting online today? tomorrow? your not online right now what will your customers think? you told your good tippers youd be online right now! your not getting any money right now from not being online.." and he just goes on and on because ive just started camming and ive done so well with money i guess my money that IM making is going to his head and my husband is actually making me feel like shit because hes literally pressuring me to go online. My husband will then go off and tell me all things expensive things he wants to buy for himself because he's like " we are so good on money now you make so much!!!" but what he doesnt realize and ive told him many times that ill have good days and bad days online. My husband is just making me feel like crap pressuring me to get on because he knows the money is good, he encourages me to do dirty shows and stuff on there to get the mmoney..

    it really hurts and ive told and talked to him a million times
    any other ladies had any issues like this before with a bf/husbnad while you cam??

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    Veteran Member Pearl_Sugar's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    You're preaching to the choir sweetheart.

    Now that it's slow for me, I really wish that I hadn't bought all of the things he wanted, and instead made a savings account...


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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    WOW.."we're" so good with money now? umm i think he means " YOU" are set with money now..it aint his unless HE wants to go on there and shake his dick and dildo HIS asshole for cash. pimp complex, plain and simple..especially encouraging you to do shows you find to be dirty? that's a pimp hun. im sorry, i was in this situation too and it hurt


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    Veteran Member DoodlebugBites's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    Sweetie, that sounds rough! I am single so I have no advice for you but I know the ultra-smart ladies of SW will give you sound advice in no time.

    The only thing I wanted to say was to suggest that you downplay what you're making to him. I know you would have to lie and I'm guessing he would see it in your account but to take the pressure off you could you maybe syphon a little to the side?

    Because you're going to have your slower days and it's hard enough dealing with them without having to take pressure from someone else, too. It just seems like you could burn out super fast if you don't slow his roll. Good luck!

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    Featured Member MissSassyPickles's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    Your husband sounds like your pimp. I would keep a separate bank account.
    Quote Originally Posted by qurl View Post
    You are sassy AND smart Miss Pickles.

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    Veteran Member CarmenF's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    You can store money in a prepaid card he doesn't have to know about, just make sure he doesn't find out... You need to save money in camming, especially the first ones because A you will get slow times B you need to save them for retirement! Congratulations for doing well on MFC though and for the long shifts!






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    Featured Member Missbeth's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    If my boyfriend said this...he wouldnt be my boyfriend anymore.
    He knows my money is mine because I work hard for it... I provide for us to have a good lifestyle and buy things we want because i make far more than him
    he wants but he doesn't ask me to make money specifically for it because he knows I am the one doing work.
    Quote Originally Posted by JackAlexander View Post
    "If no one is complaining about the price, the price is too low."
    @Bethann_Live


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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    He is not entitled to your money at all. I hope you have a private bank account. He is certainly getting beside himself thinking about all the stuff he wants to buy with YOUR money. No mam. He needs to act like less of a pimp and more of your husband. Stop telling him how well you are doing or how much you make. Act like its going really bad. Tell him you have a debt to pay off and all the money is going there. If you guys need more money he needs to be a man and get his a** out there and get multiple jobs whatever it takes. My boyfriend lets me keep my camming money as he should and he still foots the bill for everything and he works two jobs.

    Sex work money is a very personal thing I think. You work hard for every dollar its draining we smile until our faces hurt we dance until we're sore I think I now know how a porn star feels holding awkward positions for long periods of time just because it looks good or sexy on camera . We have to form and maintain "friendships" with these guys and talk to them in free chat. Your work is your body he should feel low to even expect anything.


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    God/dess kortneykay's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    I can understand how he can say "our" because that's how it works sometimes in a relationship. However, he needs to realize that it's taking a toll on you, you are not his whore, and he should respect your boundaries. I 2nd (or 5th) in getting a separate bank account that only you know about and downplaying how much you're actually getting. Tell him that if he doesn't stop egging you on to go on cam that you will pull out completely. This should make him stop. I'm sure you don't pressure him to work 11 hours and ask him when he's going back to work 5 times a day so he shouldn't do that to you. And even if you did, men are built to work hard to provide for their families. It's not an easy job and 40+ hours a week on cam must be extremely draining. Tell him you need a supportive husband and not a pimp.


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    God/dess Classy_Katy's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    Pressure like that can stop you wanting to cam at all and you need to be in the right place mentally and emotionally when you start a session.

    I would decide on a time table of when you are going to work, give yourself set hours like you would have in a regular job and show him what those hours are...and that's it, no overtime, just those hours.

    You have to have a home/work balance and this a good way of ensuring that you have that while making him shut up at the same time.
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    Veteran Member Deaddolly's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    Quote Originally Posted by Classy_Katy View Post
    Pressure like that can stop you wanting to cam at all and you need to be in the right place mentally and emotionally when you start a session.

    I would decide on a time table of when you are going to work, give yourself set hours like you would have in a regular job and show him what those hours are...and that's it, no overtime, just those hours.

    You have to have a home/work balance and this a good way of ensuring that you have that while making him shut up at the same time.
    Wow that made me think. He's TRYING to treat you like one of those poor studio girls that are forced to work long hours and bring in a certain amount of money. I often see them sleeping on cam poor girls.

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    Senior Member augusta_viva's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    my husband does this too but to a lesser degree. He asks "so are you working tonight" and yeah, it makes me feel guilty but I asked him to do it because i am a procrastinator and i need the gentle reminder. Sometimes I feel like they think the money comes fast and furious and that we should have a copius amounts. They also think this job is easy, and it so isnt.

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    Veteran Member VoluptiousBriadda's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    I just wanna add that mfc is NOTORIOUS for giving girls "false positives" - I have seen sooo many ladies post how they absolutely BANKED on mfc when they first started due to their new girl status then once that was gone their camscore promptly plummeted down to the depths of cam hell and they could barely pull in anything there after that,IF they decided to even stick around..

    Not saying you cant or wont be successful there - just saying that the newness will wear off and the earnings you make now are not necessarily indicative of what they will be in the very near future.

    So before hubz goes out and gets a benz,boat and an 80' flatscreen,he may wanna slow his roll and not count all them chicks before they hatch,just sayin..
    Last edited by VoluptiousBriadda; 04-20-2013 at 01:39 AM. Reason: frozen fingers dont type so well
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    If you are ashamed of your body don't expect someone to pay to see it. If you can't act like your body is a treasure how DARE you charge people to see it.


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    Veteran Member CurvySweet's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    Laughing at the 'all things expensive things he wants to buy for himself because he's like " we are so good on money now you make so much!!!' 'He' and 'we'. Men are so selfish.
    Don't Like Me? Have A Seat With The Rest Of The Bitches And Bastards Waiting For Me To Give A Flying Fuck.

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    Veteran Member CarmenF's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    men be like "easy money you just gotta masturb for guys roght?" riiiight ..





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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    Wow sorry to hear about that :C I'm lucky I have a boyfriend that supports me so much! Some days I won't do so well on cam and he's always there to cheer me up about it. ("$150 in 4 hours? That's still a lot of money!" etc)

    Even when I get lazy and sleep in late or miss a day i was supposed to cam he's really understanding.

    Maybe you should cut him off from your cam money if his avarice is hurting your mood!
    The only daddy issues I have are being confused by how many customers want me to call them 'daddy'.

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    Veteran Member beauvoir's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    I agree with most of the girls on the thread who said your boyfriend is being unreasonable. If my boyfriend pressured me into working I'd kick him the FUCK out.

    We earn about the same, but I'm better with money than him. I save more than him, and we're saving for a joint future together but my money is MINE and his money is HIS. If he wants to go and spend a load of money on something he doesn't need then it comes out of his wages and that is non-negotiable.

    You need to ask yourself why you started camming alongside your full time job in the first place. Was it to save for a bigger place, or a holiday? Or so that you don't have to worry so much about bills? Make sure you're using money wisely and tell your irresponsible, immature, selfish and bullying boyfriend that YOUR money is yours and even if it is 'OUR' money, then that means it's money spend on the both of you, not just him. Urgh, disgusting.

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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    11 hours on cam is a LONG ASS time. I could see if we're talking about a 'paid chat only' site (like AdultWork or ImLive), and you're just keeping your computer logged on for 11 hours while you do stuff around the house in between private shows. But if you're talking about an 11-hour shift on a 'free chat' site (like MyFreeCams or Streamate), that is brutal.

    Maybe your husband should sign up as a cam model on Chaturbate, and see how he feels about doing an 11-hour shift of demanding men/women in free chat saying "Cum for us!.....Finger your ass, bb!.....Um, my husband's cock is bigger than yours!.....Tell us when you're gonna cum!.....Almost there, bb?.....You about to cum?.....You gonna cum soon?.....etc." LOL. After like the first hour on there, he'll probably be like "Fuck this shit" and log off to get a beer.
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    Remind him how much you have to put aside for taxes and maybe that'll help put it into perspective.


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    Featured Member bigbootyjudy1's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    I think you should have a sit down and talk to him about it.Maybe he doesn't know hes pressuring you .Also remind him you guys should save money for rainy days because you have good and bad days.Plus get ready for the burn out.With the kind of shifts and the pressure your getting from home i see one coming .Good luck sweetie.Keep us updated .

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    Veteran Member Mistress Anika's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    Ladies keep in mind this is her HUSBAND not her current BOYFRIEND. Not that hes totally in the right but when your married YOUR victories become OUR victories so on one side its awesome that hes trying to understand your job, that hes trying be supportive. But it has to be a 2 way street.

    My Boyfriend and I have been together 5 years (we live like we're married) When hes working hard, bringing in the cash, I slack a bit but im his biggest cheerleader. I motivate him when hes tired and/or dosn't want to work (we're both independent contractors) I help him with his advertising, office management stuff, estimates, dinner whatever he needs but when i'm kicking ass and taking names He does the same for me.

    So the question here is, does he act the same way when he is making bank? Does he say "Serena, Go buy that dress / computer/ puppy you've been wanting and then I'm taking you out to dinner"? or is he stingy about it?

    Have a sit down like BigBootyJudy recommended. Tell him how the pressure is making you feel. Discuses realistic financial goals, if things have been tight for a while it makes sense that him or both of you want to treat yourself to something you'd normally skip. Treats are ok but you cant buy everything you've both wanted for the last year but haven't been able to afford. Pick one thing each or a small trip or something bigger for both of you. Make a goal "by June, if we both make this amount, we'll treat our self to whatever" (Remember always to pay bills / savings before play/goal money) I am assuming he also works, remind him that 11 hour days (even if its only 4 days a week) are crazy long hours. Remind him that just because your caming this isnt magic-easy-free money. That you are expected to pay taxes (about 25%), that some of those funds need to be invested back into your business (prizes, tech stuff, outfits, toys, ect) That you don't just log in and get showered with tokens, that it is work. That most ladies spend 1-2 hours promoting every day, on top of our cam times.


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    Veteran Member Sabihah's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    All I can say is that you deserve a goddamn medal for pulling 11-hour shifts. I'm exhausted after 5-7 hours, and I'm usually pretty generous with myself re: breaks. I think I would lose my voice if I did 11 hours.

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    Senior Member KillKeely's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    Nagging pimp, I'm all for my s/o being supportive and what not, and I had that before and it was lovely. He NEVER encouraged me to do dirty shows or asked me to go on cam because my cam custies were waiting or some bullshit. I'm sorry but that is NOT the kind of respectable behaviour you as his wife deserves. He needs to know he is acting like a pimp and it is not in any way acceptable! Make sure he knows you have to put money away for taxes as well for sure because that $1000 is actually around $750 (and even less if you're in canada like me.) The worst part is your own self value taking a hit from the one person who should be doing the opposite and making it better!

    And talking about expensive things he wants to buy because you guys are so good on money now? Um... what? So many people who win the lottery end up broke a few years later from terrible money management. It's a bit tough when you are raking it in, but you have to stick to living within your means till you are sure that the money is reliable, and unfortunately with camming... it really never is. you never KNOW for sure. Even top girls have slow days. Yes splurging here and there, of course we all do that. But his kind of mind set is NOT healthy because now you aren't just camming to make an income and be a part of a team, you're going to have to cam to his expectations so he can maintain this higher set of standards he wants because it's 'doable' right now. Ugh. Definately you need to have a serious conversation with him and try and make him see how unreasonable that all really is. just because we can work all day (technically), doesn't mean ANYONE in any industry wants to as well. Come on, he has to be human and understand that.

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    God/dess Cam_Model_Jess's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    I agree with most of what was said. Being married is different than having a boyfriend. Your money is his money and his money is your money. He really shouldn't be pressuring you that much if it's upsetting you though. And it sounds like you're working plenty hard enough without him trying to force you to work more.

    I also think that you should make yourself a schedule, tell your husband what that schedule is, and stick to it. If he's telling you to work more, tell him that you have a schedule and that's when you'll work. This will require some discipline on your part, but it sounds like you're doing ok with that.

    You should be putting about 30% away for taxes. Also keep in mind that when you make over a certain amount, you have to pay more taxes & the amount of your deductions can possibly decrease. So you don't want to make a ton of money & then be blowing it on stupid stuff (talking about your hubby here). That will land you in a bad place financially.

    Last year I made more money than I've ever made in my life (x2) and realized that I'd hardly saved any of it at all (other than for taxes). When I did my taxes myself & actually saw what I'd made, that was a nice kick in the butt to start saving more. Now I have an automatic deposit into my savings account. I also have debt payment goals. I was going to move into a nice big condo, but instead I've decided to pay off student loans. I sat down & figured out how long it would take to pay them off and what I can realistically make per week & save per week. Sure, I'm disappointed that I'll not have that fancy condo, but I also know that this money will NOT last forever. When the money finally DOES run out, I will be better off having paid off my debt. THEN, if I can afford it, once those debts are paid off, I'll save for a fancy place.

    Goals are SO SO SO important in this industry. You can read here about all the cam girls, strippers, and porn stars who made a ton of money & blew it on make-up, clothes, vacations, fancy houses, etc., and are now forced to file bankruptcy or live in a tiny apartment because they didn't plan for the future. (There are also lots of very smart ladies who saved & can retire super early.)

    Most of all, it's important for you to feel like your money is getting you somewhere in life. Yes, it's very important to treat yourself. But you need to feel like you're accomplishing something too. If hubby just turns around and spend the money on himself, your motivation is gonna tank big time. Hubby and I had this discussion about my clip sales money. We were just throwing it into the checking account and paying bills with it, and then we thought we had all this extra money to blow. In order to keep being motivated to earn, I explained to him that one check needs to be kept separate. Sure, we can spend some of it on fun stuff, but I need to know exactly where it's going in order to want to make more next month.

    Motivation is such a big, important part of being self-employed. This isn't like a job where you have to go everyday or you'll get fired. You have to find your own motivations to make you want to get up and make money every single day.

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  39. #25
    God/dess Cam_Model_Jess's Avatar
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    Default Re: husband obsessed with my cam money..

    As far as the money is concerned, you are allowed to have a separate bank account for yourself. I'm not necessarily suggesting you hide it from him though. I think that can lead to some serious issues down the road. I'll tell you how I handle it. Not that it's the best way, but it ensures that I save enough.

    I have a "business" bank account. It's actually just a personal account, but it's in my name only. All of my checks go into that account. I transfer 70% out into my "personal" joint bank account, leaving 30% in my "business" account for tax purposes. Of that 70%, I save a certain percentage of that into savings via a direct withdrawal.

    The tax money can't be touched. There is plenty of money in checking to pay all the bills plus have spending money, and then we only touch the savings account if something big comes up that our checking account can't handle. We treat ourselves now and then, but we've also made some concessions, such as no cable TV. We make pretty darn good money, so I know a lot of people would think that it's strange that we have a fairly strict budget. But I know this won't last forever, and I don't want to have regrets.

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