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Thread: Are Manners Really That Rare in SC's?

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    Default Are Manners Really That Rare in SC's?

    I was raised in the Southern US, and have certain ingrained habits that are second-nature to me by now. However, it either seems to make me stand out in SC settings, or I'm getting fed some really good SS compliments.

    My question: are manners really so rare in SC's that it rates conversation, or is it just a common ice breaker? It doesn't seem to matter how upscale the club is, I still get the same reaction from lots of dancers. A few motions I've done as just plain common courtesy for where I was raised, and which normally don't rate any real notice by myself but that have started mini-conversations with dancers about manners:

    1. Stand up when approached by a dancer.
    2. Seat a dancer at a table when I invite them to join me.
    3. Opening the door/curtain to a VIP to let a dancer enter first, and exit first.

    The most common comment I get from dancers is along the lines of "I know it says 'gentlemen's club' outside but it is rare to run into an actual gentleman in here". I know common courtesy is dying out in the general public, but that trend doesn't mean it has to die out in my proximity so I nonchalantly just carry on. It just subtly signals respect from me and sets the general tenor of the space between a dancer and me, and the acknowledgement/appreciation I get back simply communicates the lady noticed the detail and is not phoning in her interaction with me. Are manners like this just a pleasant anachronism in a SC, or an unwelcome formalism?

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are Manners Really That Rare in SC's?

    i have never in my life had a guy get up when i approached the table even my most loyal regulars..or been "seated". maybe its where i live, courtesy and warmth aren't rampant in new england.

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    Default Re: Are Manners Really That Rare in SC's?

    Please don't get me wrong, I don't do this with every woman, just in what I was taught as appropriate settings. For example, I don't seat a female client IRL at a business function. But if IRL at a party in an elegant setting a woman I don't know approaches my table in a friendly manner, and indicates she wants to chat, I offer to seat her. Hell, in a business meeting in a crowded conference room, guys *and* gals are shuffling chairs around for each other equal opportunity style, as that's just efficient and business-like, and I'm perfectly fine with it.

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    Default Re: Are Manners Really That Rare in SC's?

    Never has that happened to me either.

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    Default Re: Are Manners Really That Rare in SC's?

    Manners, in general should be common place regardless of the setting. But, sadly, a lot of guys (especially younger customers/groups) leave their manners at the front door when going to a SC. While your behaviour isn't expected, I'm sure it's appreciated if noticed.

    I have had people "seat" me, this actually happens quite often and while it's not expected it's not un welcome either. And some customers say, "after you" and open the curtains etc (but it's usually my line and my job to do this for you).
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    Default Re: Are Manners Really That Rare in SC's?

    I was having this discussion with a relatively new favorite dancer yesterday. I wasn't raised in the south. In fact, I was raised and live in the Boston area-land of the "Masshole". That being said, I'm in my mid 50's and was raised in a time when gentlemen acted like gentlemen regardless of how much clothing a woman was wearing. This has always served me well in strip clubs (not really any "gentleman's clubs" in my neck of the woods) going back to the early 80's when women sat with a guy after their set because they wanted to, not because they were working him for dances.

    The caveat of course is to remember that, no matter how gentlemanly you are the lady is still there to earn. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that charm will get you a free ride.
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    Default Re: Are Manners Really That Rare in SC's?

    To the degree that you're saying, yes it's rare. It's definitely rare on the West Coast.

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