Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Intuition, or just being stupid?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    263
    Thanks
    39
    Thanked 85 Times in 34 Posts

    Default Intuition, or just being stupid?

    I don't know if i'm just being paranoid, or if my intuition is trying to tell me something, or what...? back story: I danced from 22-26 and liked it for about the first 6 months. Then it just went downhill and the last few months included every-night vodka drinking and more than one incident of crying outside the club because I was so frustrated with making shit money and dealing with rude customers and I was just burnt OUT. Then I went back to school and promised myself I would never go back to dancing.

    Now- I just graduated and I've been out of work for 4 months (not because of the economy or anything I'm doing wrong- it's because I went to school in Ireland and in a health profession, so the process to have my degree recognized in the US is long and there's a lot of red tape and I have to take a test to be licensed in the US). I have no money and almost $2k in credit card debt because I've been living off my credit card since I came back to the US in January.

    Last week I went back to the last club I worked at before leaving for school- it's a stage-only club, very low drama, no need to hustle, clean and drug-free, great coworkers and managers.

    So I'm supposed to be working tomorrow night and I'm dreading it. i keep going back and forth in my head:

    don't be ridiculous, go in and make money. you NEED the money. and all you have to do is go onstage and do a tipwalk a few times a night, what could be easier? And it's a tiny non-corporate club that doesn't do 1099's or anything like that.

    but i'm upset because I felt like I had left this behind, I don't want to be a dancer anymore, and I'm paranoid about somehow ruining the professional career that I worked and sacrificed so hard for, for the past 3+ years.

    you're being ridiculous. it's not at all likely that anyone would ever find out if i worked there for 2-3 weeks. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do things you don't want to do. 'i don't want to' is not a valid reason for me to punk out and not go back to the club when i'm in such a mess with money and there's not a thing wrong with this particular club.

    But idk, the fear of somehow being 'found out' if i go back...there's no future for me in dancing. I would hate myself if i went back and something went wrong and i jeopardized my future career. I don't know if my bad feelings about going back are justified- like if it's my intuition saying 'don't do it, something bad is going to happen if you do', or if I'm just being overly paranoid.

    I don't know. If you were me, would you suck it up and go in tomorrow night, or not?
    Last edited by sorsi; 04-26-2013 at 11:52 PM.

  2. #2
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Down Under
    Posts
    2,078
    Thanks
    4,898
    Thanked 2,463 Times in 1,135 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Intuition, or just being stupid?

    Quote Originally Posted by sorsi View Post
    And it's a tiny non-corporate club that doesn't do 1099's or anything like that .
    I would hate myself if i went back and something went wrong and i jeopardized my future career.

    I don't know. If you were me, would you suck it up and go in and make money tomorrow night?
    ^If they don't have 1099's at your current club then there shouldn't be a paper trail that will impact on your career if uncovered.

    If dancing is really causing you so much anxiety and torment, is the money even worth it for you? Maybe you could try to find a vanilla job or bartend at a SC instead (that way you will still receive good tips etc)?
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

  3. #3
    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,980
    Thanks
    621
    Thanked 6,894 Times in 2,672 Posts

    Default Re: Intuition, or just being stupid?

    Quote Originally Posted by OliveJardin View Post
    If dancing is really causing you so much anxiety and torment, is the money even worth it for you? Maybe you could try to find a vanilla job or bartend at a SC instead (that way you will still receive good tips etc)?
    This. There are tons of other jobs out there, and while you're waiting for your degree to get recognized and take the licensing test, it doesn't matter what you're doing. I mean, sure, look for something in the health field that doesn't require licensing because you still have a relevant degree and possibly even some experience, but even a call centre, waitressing gig, temping, whatever else will probably be better for you than dancing if you're having this much trouble with it.

  4. #4
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    263
    Thanks
    39
    Thanked 85 Times in 34 Posts

    Default Re: Intuition, or just being stupid?

    ^^ that's the thing; i've tried applying for other temporary/menial jobs, and it seems no one is hiring waitresses, retail, whatnot. if i could, i would have had a job stocking shelves or waiting/bussing tables months ago. no there are no 1099's (unless something changed since i was there before!), but just the fact that they're going to have a copy of my driver's license on file is making me worried.

  5. #5
    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,980
    Thanks
    621
    Thanked 6,894 Times in 2,672 Posts

    Default Re: Intuition, or just being stupid?

    A copy of your driver's license is nothing, I wouldn't fret over that.

    You've also only been out of work for 4 months, which really is not that long in this economy. I know that's not exactly what you might want to hear, but you really have to hit the ground running nowadays to find even menial/temporary work. Job hunting is basically a full-time job. I'm going to reiterate the suggestion of call centre because they are basically always hiring due to the high turnover. It's not the best job for a lot of people, but the pay is usually above minimum and it's something to tide you over until you can find something better or get your license.

  6. #6
    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Omicron Persei 8
    Posts
    4,508
    Thanks
    12,529
    Thanked 13,934 Times in 3,720 Posts

    Default Re: Intuition, or just being stupid?

    I think it sounds like you are just plain done with it, and forcing yourself to go in is going to result in subpar money because you'll be in a shitty mood.

    You really should just pick up a minimum wage job if you can. I mean, your options at this point seem to be to keep living off your credit card and running up debt, working for minimum wage, and dancing while being miserable.

    Also, please don't sweat the getting found out part. Nobody is going to find out unless you get 1099'd and an employer requests a copy of your taxes (which you'd know about, because you have to sign a form) or if your club gets raided (unlikely in a clean club, and that's what it sounds like, especially with no lap dances). A copy of your DL on file isn't going to do anything, the club just keeps it on record in case they ever get questioned about the dancers on shift, and they will probably shred it or file it away in the bowels of an office when you quit.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

  7. #7
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    263
    Thanks
    39
    Thanked 85 Times in 34 Posts

    Default Re: Intuition, or just being stupid?

    Selina you're right, I am just done. and the only earning potential is from stage tips (stage-only clubs are a trade off; less stress/pressure/hustling, but also less money)- when I left the club, I was only making maybe $100 a night. Sometimes less on weeknights, maybe $200 on a Fri/Sat night. Then there was the incident where I threw a drink in a customer's face at the tip rail because he refused to tip. I feel like I can't afford to be picky- $100 a night, even with loads of aggravation, is better than what I have now which is $0. idk, I guess I'll decide in the next few hours.

  8. #8
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    13,467
    Thanks
    10,869
    Thanked 20,995 Times in 6,795 Posts

    Default Re: Intuition, or just being stupid?

    Honestly, I don't think it'd hurt to go in. I'm in a similar situation: I just danced yesterday after quitting for over two years. I danced for four years back in college, and I burnt out severely. I, too, was done with stripping, and I was extremely fearful of returning. But yesterday proved to me that, yeah, stripping is hard work both emotionally and physically, but it can be a great stepping stone if you use it as such. And it sounds like you're in a place where you need a stepping stone to get across the proverbial river.

    The fact of the matter is that you have access to a great club with some good, low-pressure money potential, and you're having a PTSD reaction to the thought of returning. It's kind of like when you leave high school and then go to a high school reunion: no matter how much you've grown over the years, you find yourself returning to that catty, high school mentality. For you, your fear may be that if you start dancing, you'll instantly be transformed back into the person you were when you quit stripping. But you aren't that person anymore - you've changed and grown in very positive ways, and now, dancing is just a quick means to an end.

    Can you tell yourself that you'll only do it until you hit a certain dollar amount? Or that you'll only do it for X # of weeks? Setting a boundary could be helpful. You may as well dance while you continue looking for another job. It sounds like this could be a great club for you to return to - you're lucky to have a club like that in your area! Take advantage of it. But don't pressure yourself. Baby step your way into dancing.

    Obviously, you know yourself better than we do, so if you feel like returning to dancing could severely damage you emotionally, then don't do it. Your story just sounds remarkably similar to mine, so I'm giving you an alternate perspective. I just started a thread recently that's similar to this one: https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...the-first-time

  9. #9
    God/dess simone87's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2012
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    5,171
    Thanks
    7,361
    Thanked 9,469 Times in 3,228 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Intuition, or just being stupid?

    if i were you, i'd just go in and get that money! like you said, a vanilla job will take a long time to find and even when you get hired you may have to wait awhile for your check or to start..you can't beat 100-200 a night JUST doing stage work with no paperwork linked to you. but then im pretty hard on myself and kind of have the whole survivalist thing drilled into my head, so if you REALLy can't stand it, don't go in if you can think of other ways to pay off the bills

  10. #10
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    263
    Thanks
    39
    Thanked 85 Times in 34 Posts

    Default Re: Intuition, or just being stupid?

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    The fact of the matter is that you have access to a great club with some good, low-pressure money potential, and you're having a PTSD reaction to the thought of returning. It's kind of like when you leave high school and then go to a high school reunion: no matter how much you've grown over the years, you find yourself returning to that catty, high school mentality. For you, your fear may be that if you start dancing, you'll instantly be transformed back into the person you were when you quit stripping. But you aren't that person anymore - you've changed and grown in very positive ways, and now, dancing is just a quick means to an end.
    thank you for sharing your thoughts; you're right, your story sounds a lot like mine. and this was really helpful to read and think about! At first I was ready to go in- I got dressed, put on makeup, and actually got in the car and started driving. But then I started thinking- I'm not a different person. I'm the same person with the same character flaws as when I was dancing- maybe this means I'm too weak-willed, but I know that I would fall back into the same patterns right away. Dealing with problems or bad feelings by getting drunk, and worse- being complacent (I hate this about myself, but whenever I have a 'fallback plan' or safety net I get lazy and 'stuck' and don't work as hard to get to my real goals.)

    I admire you for being disciplined and strong and able to set those boundaries and goals. I absolutely need to work on being more like that. But right now, I've got to be honest- I'm not like that, and I would fall back into old negative habits if I went back.

    Interesting about the PTSD reaction...I don't know if that's what's going on with me or not, but you might be on to something. I'm actually a little sad that I didn't go in, thinking "wtf? i could be goofing off with some awesome girls and drinking vodka and getting cash money in my hand and dancing to awesome music and having fun right now." But when I went to audition I had a weird little mini-flashback-ish reaction to nothing that seemed to come out of nowhere- some customers were standing around drinking beers and one of them leered at me and was like 'nice ass' and for a split second I felt rage and wanted to punch him in the face. Prob not healthy or normal.

    So, I've probably burned my bridge there now that I've no-call no-showed tonight on what was supposed to be my first night back.

    A bit of good news? When I came back to the house where I'm staying, I found a package on the kitchen table. yep, my practice license.

  11. #11
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Down Under
    Posts
    2,078
    Thanks
    4,898
    Thanked 2,463 Times in 1,135 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Intuition, or just being stupid?

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    I'm going to reiterate the suggestion of call centre because they are basically always hiring due to the high turnover. It's not the best job for a lot of people, but the pay is usually above minimum and it's something to tide you over until you can find something better or get your license.
    ^Great suggestion. If you are interested, this is a great "in between" job with the potential for commission and an average-above average income.
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

  12. #12
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Down Under
    Posts
    2,078
    Thanks
    4,898
    Thanked 2,463 Times in 1,135 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Intuition, or just being stupid?

    Quote Originally Posted by sorsi View Post

    A bit of good news? When I came back to the house where I'm staying, I found a package on the kitchen table. yep, my practice license.
    ^That's great news! Congrats and best of luck x
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

Similar Threads

  1. Cam girl intuition: Spotting the guys who won't pay
    By CourtneyRaine in forum Camming Connection
    Replies: 241
    Last Post: 06-18-2019, 06:19 PM
  2. Intuition...
    By PookaShell in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 11-30-2007, 04:44 PM
  3. Intuition wtf
    By Casey4Now in forum Body Business
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 07-30-2007, 05:48 AM
  4. Blasted Intuition
    By Juliette_deSade in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 02-14-2004, 02:08 AM
  5. intuition razor
    By in forum Body Business
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 08-11-2003, 01:22 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •