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Thread: online dating help

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    Default online dating help

    I feel pretty stupid right now! This guy and I have been messaging back and forth on okcupid. in his last email he told me he was a criminal defence lawyer and i must have glossed right over the criminal and asked him so what kind of law do you practice? (oops!)

    is this a huge faux pas? he's logged on so i know he received my message but hasn't written me back... i'm worried he's not going to.

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    Default Re: online dating help

    I don't think it's a big deal but some people on dating sites are annoying and will get mad at the smallest thing. I had the worst luck on them so that clouds my judgement.

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    Default Re: online dating help

    Its totally fine. Guys know cute girls get inundated with messages. It gets confusing! Just send him another message with the oops, you already told me what type of law you practice....
    He will know you reread his email which will make him feel pretty special:-)

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    Default Re: online dating help

    Online dating is a bust. It's mostly men and women who want an ego boost and some interaction with the opposite sex. Most just browse the profiles and go back and forth with endless messages gaining excitement from that with no intention of meeting.

    But it is a fun way to get some quick dates. If you word it right and avoid the time wasters. If after 5 or 6 messages or so and there's no intention of meeting. Move on.lol When I had my profile up I mentioned that I wasn't into the perpetual pen-pal thing and that after a certain amount of messages I'd simply stop responding. I got dates quickly.lol After I stopped responding to one guy the next message he asked me out since he said in his own words "he didn't want to not get to meet me by seeming he only wanted to message online".


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    I wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole and someone else's dick.
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    Default Re: online dating help

    It's not a big deal at all. He probably won't even remember what he told you but if you want send him another message with oops, sorry i missed that before! Or something. And good luck I've been on a million okc dates and have seriously datesdated a couple guys i first met online.

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    Default Re: online dating help

    no its not a big deal..although i hate online dating and find it awful that relationships have now been downgraded to pixels on a screen..it seems all communication has! do you know if he really IS a criminal lawyer anyways? sorry, just had to rant about how much i hate it haha, but naw its not a big deal at all

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    Default Re: online dating help

    I wanted to add... I don't think you'll find any quality men on a dating site. (This is just my opinion.) But here's why:

    You're either going to come across awkward/"off" men, entitled i-think-im-so-fucking-amazing-but-really-im-nothing-special men, men who are secretly cheating on their spouse, or really timid/shy men, on dating sites. There are occasionally really fucking cool people on there, but a lot of the time they just don't have the time/effort to meet up with you or if they do, its a one-time thing for an ego boost because they have so many other women at their disposal because they're constantly meeting people in real life.

    What I'm trying to say is, there's a reason why he's on a dating site, and its probably not a good reason. Its either because he's too weird/awkward/shy to approach women in real life, he's already with someone and wants to secretly cheat, he's too busy (and won't put forth the effort in dating), or he's a social butterfly and won't give you much attention anyway.

    And you have to ask yourself, why would a man be on a dating site if he had an amazing life and was cool enough to meet people easily? Well, he doesn't. And if he does, he won't put that much effort into anyone he's meeting off a dating site.

    Now, there are some cool people on those sites, but just like sugar daddy sites, it takes SO MUCH EFFORT just to find them! Its like trying to find a needle in a haystack! You literally have to sort through every single piece of hay just to find the needle. Do you really have that kind of time? Are you willing to go on dates with men who look decent in their pics, but then are socially awkward, rude, entitled, married, fat, much older, or whatever else? And do you really want to finish a date with that kind of person since hes obviously perfectly fine with lying to someone before he's even met them (i.e. making an inaccurate profile)?

    Basically, my experience is, that it does make for some awesome disaster stories you can tell in the future, and you may make a couple decent friends if you date enough people off the site, but honestly I wouldn't waste your time. Or at least don't expect anything.

    This is men though, I'm sure a lot of women on dating sites are cool. I've met a few and they were all awesome. But men are generally deceptive on those sites, and that's what I've learned.


    But basically, if you are looking for a partner, don't look online. Go out and meet people. Go to events where the type of person you like would hang out.

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    Default Re: online dating help

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    I wanted to add... I don't think you'll find any quality men on a dating site. (This is just my opinion.) But here's why:


    What I'm trying to say is, there's a reason why he's on a dating site, and its probably not a good reason.
    I completely agree. Online dating is a bust. Trust me they're online for a reason. Even the most socially awkward people can write a good profile and put up some nice pics. I've gone on dates just find out some of these guys lived at home etc. If you have some time on your hands, want to negotiate expensive dates to do activities you wouldn't want to pay for, or get a few laughs go for it but besides that leave it alone.

    Find people that go to your college or attend whatever group activity. Or just find someone locally. That way they have to be more accountable. And if there is skeletons in their closet someone in town will know or you'd most likely would of heard of it already through the rumor mill.


    Quote Originally Posted by twistedprincess View Post
    I wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole and someone else's dick.
    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    freeloaders annoy the fuck out of most of us
    Quote Originally Posted by funismymiddlename View Post
    im not breaking my ass for a dollar

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    Default Re: online dating help

    Online dating. It's a good thing.

    rs_300x300-130501093900-600.ms.cm.5113.jpg

    (disclaimer... I'm not familiar with online dating, but I could not pass up the joke.)
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: online dating help

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    I wanted to add... I don't think you'll find any quality men on a dating site. (This is just my opinion.) But here's why:

    You're either going to come across awkward/"off" men, entitled i-think-im-so-fucking-amazing-but-really-im-nothing-special men, men who are secretly cheating on their spouse, or really timid/shy men, on dating sites. There are occasionally really fucking cool people on there, but a lot of the time they just don't have the time/effort to meet up with you or if they do, its a one-time thing for an ego boost because they have so many other women at their disposal because they're constantly meeting people in real life.

    What I'm trying to say is, there's a reason why he's on a dating site, and its probably not a good reason. Its either because he's too weird/awkward/shy to approach women in real life, he's already with someone and wants to secretly cheat, he's too busy (and won't put forth the effort in dating), or he's a social butterfly and won't give you much attention anyway.

    And you have to ask yourself, why would a man be on a dating site if he had an amazing life and was cool enough to meet people easily? Well, he doesn't. And if he does, he won't put that much effort into anyone he's meeting off a dating site.
    I guess the person who started this thread is also an awkward loser with a horrible life, because she's on a dating site, herself.

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    Default Re: online dating help

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    You're either going to come across awkward/"off" men, entitled i-think-im-so-fucking-amazing-but-really-im-nothing-special men, men who are secretly cheating on their spouse, or really timid/shy men, on dating sites.
    Sounds like a lot of guys that go out to public places to meet women. The point is, it doesn't matter what you do or where you go. You're always going to have certain people that make you uncomfortable (for whatever reason). My advice is go with your gut feeling. There are plenty of people who found their soul mates online, and I don't think decent people are really as rare as you make them out to be.
    Quote Originally Posted by AmyLynne View Post
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    The only people who get rich off of Get Rich Quick Schemes are the ones who sell them, not the ones who buy them.

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    Default Re: online dating help

    You have to understand, it's easy to put a fishing pole in the pond, you get what you get?

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    Default Re: online dating help

    I would disagree to some extent about losers on dating sites. I do think that is true in most cases but when doing online dating I did meet a few quality men. One guy I still keep in touch with and would have dated if he was older (he was about 15 years younger)and lived closer. He was shy so it's why he was online. I have to agree with Glamour about the men who thought they were all that yet were nothing. The amount of obese men (and they were obese)who would state "no fatties" or the 50 year old men only wanting to date 18-30 astounded me. Then men would get mad when I rejected them, even though my profile clearly stated the type of man I dated and the type of man I wasn't interested in. Sorry but not open to a man who has 5 baby mamas or works at KFC as a cook and is 50. Then there were the clingy men who thought after one date we were an item.

    Then again why was I on a site? For me it's because I have certain standards that are a requirement and at least with online there are men with these. Then again I have met men in real life with them too.

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    Default Re: online dating help

    i think its that dating sites wreak of desperation. things that are attractive like independence, being ok with being single, and living your own life without having to actively seek out somebody masked by your computer are components. plus you can be anybody you want to be behind your computer screen. there are way too many cons, creeps, trolls, and possibly dangerous people. 90 percent of communication is body language and tone of voice. you don't get ANY of that "dating" somebody online.

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    Default Re: online dating help

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    i think its that dating sites wreak of desperation. things that are attractive like independence, being ok with being single, and living your own life without having to actively seek out somebody masked by your computer are components. plus you can be anybody you want to be behind your computer screen. there are way too many cons, creeps, trolls, and possibly dangerous people. 90 percent of communication is body language and tone of voice. you don't get ANY of that "dating" somebody online.
    True. For me chemistry often has to develop which is hard with online because you don't know until you meet. The guy I am interested in real life is not someone I would have wanted if I met online because he is short, shy, and not my typical look. Yet the chemistry we have offline is amazing even if it's just friendship. I have spoken to men online only to meet with no chemistry.

    I can't speak for the women online but the men I was meeting were often desperate. No one wants a desperate person and meeting once and thinking we were a couple is creepy. Not to mention the fact many people online date just to have sex with multiple people.

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    Default Re: online dating help

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    there are way too many cons, creeps, trolls, and possibly dangerous people.
    Yup, none of those exist in the offline world!

    90 percent of communication is body language and tone of voice. you don't get ANY of that "dating" somebody online.
    That's why you don't "date" the person online. You meet them in real life, first.

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    Default Re: online dating help

    "Yup, none of those exist in the offline world!"


    they do, obviously..but they usually give off vibes of being such and you can't see that online. its harder to pretend in real life than through a computer screen.



    "That's why you don't "date" the person online. You meet them in real life, first"
    yes, that's what a smart person would do, while being careful..but many women don't do that, i was just reading an article about how many of them send money to their "boyfriends" to come see them in real life.
    if online dating has worked for you, great! im just saying it can be dangerous and you gotta sift through more desperate losers or conmen. that's just in general. its hard enough in real life as it is

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    Default Re: online dating help

    Simone, have you done online? I ask because what you mention is what I encountered online too. Yes I dealt with creepy men offline too but online some of them were extremely scary, like the misogynist jerks who thought abused women "deserved it" and the unattractive 50+ men who thought they deserved young women (and downright rude to other women). And on and on. I despise online dating and I know if this situation doesn't work out for me I will die alone because I am not doing online again.

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    Default Re: online dating help

    no, i've never dated online because i see so many trolls camming and just on fb/tumblr/twitter i can't imagine how bad it would be online dating! it just creeps me out, many of my friends have done it only to be bitterly disappointed when they found out how creepy the guys got and no chemistry in real life

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    Default Re: online dating help

    Trust me you aren't missing much. The majority of the men on the dating sites are so delusional that it's really sick. The amount of creepy men who contacted me was freaky. One guy sent me several messages in an hour and when I didn't respond within an hour he started sending abusive messages. Then there are the liars and the men who are married (and lying).

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    Default Re: online dating help

    Quote Originally Posted by The Six View Post
    I guess the person who started this thread is also an awkward loser with a horrible life, because she's on a dating site, herself.
    LMAO @ you not reading what I wrote. Remember this part, from the very same post of mine you quoted? : "This is men though, I'm sure a lot of women on dating sites are cool. I've met a few and they were all awesome. But men are generally deceptive on those sites, and that's what I've learned."

    No, because you didn't read and took my post out of context to imply something I never wrote (I actually wrote the opposite).


    Quote Originally Posted by FasaCorp View Post
    Sounds like a lot of guys that go out to public places to meet women. The point is, it doesn't matter what you do or where you go. You're always going to have certain people that make you uncomfortable (for whatever reason). My advice is go with your gut feeling. There are plenty of people who found their soul mates online, and I don't think decent people are really as rare as you make them out to be.
    Obviously you have never been a woman who has gone on a date with a man who lied all over his profile (which you discovered in person). There are only so many times you can go through that til you get PISSED and realize dating sites are majority losers who pull that.

    YES, you come across those in real life!!! But the difference is, YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT and you can walk away if you just so happen to come across one in person. The difference is, you didn't just waste a whole night of your life getting ready for someone who lied, and then have your night ruined because he was not who you thought he was and you have to leave. Your other option is hanging out with an awkward/fat/ugly/weird/"off"/narcissistic loser, and trust me, leaving and having that whole night wasted is probably a much better option. THAT is the difference. lololol

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    Default Re: online dating help

    Yeah... this definitely should have been posted in ladies only lol
    Quote Originally Posted by qurl View Post
    You are sassy AND smart Miss Pickles.

    "Well behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

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    Default Re: online dating help

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    LMAO @ you not reading what I wrote. Remember this part, from the very same post of mine you quoted? : "This is men though, I'm sure a lot of women on dating sites are cool. I've met a few and they were all awesome. But men are generally deceptive on those sites, and that's what I've learned." https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...=1#post2486799

    No, because you didn't read and took my post out of context to imply something I never wrote (I actually wrote the opposite).
    No, I didn't imply you meant that. I used your words against you to point out the double standard that a man is somehow substandard and not worth dating because he's trying online dating, but all women are fine.

    And about this being in Ladies Only...remember, a lady started this thread having one question in her online dating experience, and you chose to derail this thread to go on your rant.

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    Default Re: online dating help

    You've never been a female online dating. Women are preyed upon by men online that often times do not have the best intentions, not the other way around. It is not a double standard it is the truth.

    I think you are butthurt because you do online dating and feel like the previous responses are insulting you personally which is simply not the case.
    Quote Originally Posted by qurl View Post
    You are sassy AND smart Miss Pickles.

    "Well behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

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    Default Re: online dating help

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    But the difference is, YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT and you can walk away if you just so happen to come across one in person.
    I doubt your perceptive abilities would make you infallible in this regard. I'm going to have to call bullshit on that. Here's the deal: you can meet the most awesome, good-looking guy in a dance club (or other public place known for night life). He can "seem" to you to be perfect. Some of the worst serial killers in history began this way.
    I apologize for contributing to the derailment, but it seems as though the OP is not coming back, and I don't blame her. Only the first few posts actually helped and were generally positive, before the nose-dive into ultra paranoia set in.
    To the OP: if you are still around, I hope you and he are still communicating with each other and all is well.
    Last edited by FasaCorp; 05-07-2013 at 03:28 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by AmyLynne View Post
    I don't care what customers think. I care about separating them from their wallet.
    The only people who get rich off of Get Rich Quick Schemes are the ones who sell them, not the ones who buy them.

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