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Thread: Unforgivable friendship sins

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Question Unforgivable friendship sins

    What is something a best friend could do that is "unforgivable" in your mind?

    Examples:
    Sleeping with your spouse; Hitting your kids or pets; Stealing?

    Is there anything that would make these sins forgivable in your opinion? Like maybe they suffer psychological problems, are addicts or alcoholics, etc?
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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    Nope, I wouldn't want to be around someone that had a mental problem that would cause them to do that. Now, every once in a while, I do think drunk moments are forgivable, but it really depends on the sin.
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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    I think the only unforgivable sin is someone who did something to me/my stuff will ill intention.

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    Senior Member Kit Teaser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    Depends on their intention. Flirting to my spouse or whatnot? Hell.. I'd invite her to join. <.< Touching my sons in any way that is inappropriate? She better have a damn good lawyer... Tapping him on the butt for running out in traffic? Understandable. Not everyone knows your means of discipline and resort to what they think of first. Stealing... depends again. Money because she was too proud to ask for help? I'd forgive her once. But just once.

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    Depends on a few things... I've forgiven people for stealing my jewelry because I had no proof, and that was in like, middle/high school.
    Nowadays my BS tolerance is much lower, so I have told people to "take a long walk off a short pier" for MUCH smaller things.

    Sleeping with my spouse: they would both get banished, takes two to tango.
    Hitting my dog or cat: I'd probably react instinctively and punch them, you don't fuck with my animals.

    I don't know what kind of mental problem would make it excusable to sleep with your spouse, but if they had an anger issue that manifested in beating an animal, I'd report their ass to the sheriff and would definitely not keep them around. That's not the personality I want to be around.
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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    Sexism. I had a guy tell me it was "extreme" and "crazy" to carry a gun because "rape isn't that bad" and he'd known tons of women who "got over it and were just fine". Yeah buddy, I bet if you got raped you'd feel differently. Or even just lived a life where you had to be constantly on guard because of the kind of world we live in. Another guy told me I didn't need to wear shorts if I didn't want to be threatened and harassed by strangers. And yet another told me I deserved to feel worthless because I made the decision to join a profession that was 90% male (my old job). Obviously, none of those people are my friends anymore. I don't need that kind of energy in my life. Being in the sex industry is stigmatized and persecuted enough already. I need friends who make me feel strong.

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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    Quote Originally Posted by papillonluvr View Post

    Examples:
    Sleeping with your spouse;
    My fiancé and I both happily sleep with each other's friends...and other is sometimes there watching and participating.

    As for addicts, mentally ill and thieves...I judge and condemn no one, but the level of security a person possesses is directly proportionate to the level of close I will let them get to me. Case by case basis.

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    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    I am a forgiver because 9/10 times a persons action that effects you is not personal at all. However, I refuse to stick around someone with toxic behavior. I forgive and move on to something more positive. I am the very last person to be involved with drama.

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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    sleeping with a spouse would definitely end any friendship, as would any kind of lying or deceit..stealing would be totally unforgiveable. shit-talking me behind my back would end it, or breaking a confidence. hitting my kid, yeah they'd be a dead friend

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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    Definitely sleeping with a SO or hitting would be a no no. I had a friend who used to steal from me and I always forgave her. I wish I hadn't and eventually ditched her but way too late.

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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    A deal breaker with me is when someone is constantly (I'm not just talking about someone going through a rough patch) being selfish i.e. you support or are there for them but they don't return the favour, ever, and only talk about themselves, expect you to drop everything when they are free etc. I like to surround myself with positive people and don't care much for negative people or "drama queens".

    I suppose it depends on the circumstances, but I wouldn't really tolerate someone who stole, lied or was a back stabber. Or someone who hit on or slept with a spouse (although I'd be getting a new friend as well as a new spouse in that case!).

    Also, I find it unforgivable when male friends "make a move" . It's always awkward, embarrassing and usually ends and the friendship. Plus, it either leaves them offended thinking you led them on or too embarrassed to move past it. And, it leave you thinking that that person was only a friend because they were hoping for something more.
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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    1. Doing something to me or my stuff with ill intention.
    2. Doing something to/with my spouse with ill intention.
    3. Stealing from me.
    4. Being selfish.
    5. Being a hopeless addict (I don't mind drug users to a certain extent, it's your life, not mine).
    6. Having severe mental problems (Again, I don't mind depression/anxiety battles, but if you belong in a padded room, then go there).
    7. Being a shit talker. I'm not one, so I'll tell you my issues when they arise. I fucking hate gossipers.
    8. Someone who is bad for me in any way will be dropped from my life. Life is too precious and short to waste on negativity.

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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    Stealing. A lot of things can happen under a lot of circumstances, but I just can't be OK with theft. If you need and are my friend; ask. It completely breaks my trust.

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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    If they have the nerve to do all this shit then they were never my friend to begin with.

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    Featured Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    I dont have many friends and I prefer it that way.

    I dont put up with much from people. I dont tolerate severe insecurity, people who never take responsibility for their own actions, no gossipers and backstabbers etc. I dont have time to carry around dead weight that calls themselves friends.
    At the end of the day, when you have no one else you can depend on, you are only as strong as your weakest friend.

    People who are severely insecure will slit your throat to make themselves feel better.
    People who dont take responsibility for their own actions will not see anything they do as wrong and always justified.
    People who gossip and backstab in front of you, will do the same to you behind your back.

    Instead of dealing with the bs I weed them out early. But I check myself to make sure I am giving as much as I ask others to give me.

    The friends I do have I can count on one hand. But they have always been there for me and me for them. They have never made my life harder and they cheer me on. I thank god for them everyday because there have been times they have literally saved my life.
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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    Quote Originally Posted by OliveJardin View Post
    A deal breaker with me is when someone is constantly (I'm not just talking about someone going through a rough patch) being selfish i.e. you support or are there for them but they don't return the favour, ever, and only talk about themselves, expect you to drop everything when they are free etc. I like to surround myself with positive people and don't care much for negative people or "drama queens".

    I suppose it depends on the circumstances, but I wouldn't really tolerate someone who stole, lied or was a back stabber. Or someone who hit on or slept with a spouse (although I'd be getting a new friend as well as a new spouse in that case!).

    Also, I find it unforgivable when male friends "make a move" . It's always awkward, embarrassing and usually ends and the friendship. Plus, it either leaves them offended thinking you led them on or too embarrassed to move past it. And, it leave you thinking that that person was only a friend because they were hoping for something more.
    I've had to cut multiple friends from my life before. Hell I just had to erase some bitch a few weeks ago for being selfish and disrespectful. Some people will never understand what they did wrong and never just apologize for it when sometimes that's all that's needed is a simple sincere apology. The way I look at it is: they aren't going to get away with behaving that way around me, and I'm going to teach them how they're wrong - even if it means losing the friendship.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    People who dont take responsibility for their own actions will not see anything they do as wrong and always justified. .
    Exactly how I feel.
    I think they say your group of friends will change 5 or more times throughout your life? I find the truth about people always comes out. I have a very low tolerance and if they have no respect, or disrespect me/my family/other friends/relationship in any way then they can go. The friends who I have I consider very close to me(closer than family) I've known them many years and not much can come between us to ruin the friendship. New friends are kind of kept on a probation period where if they fuck up they're done especially if they don't bring what I bring equally to the friendship

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    Senior Member Holly_V's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    Quote Originally Posted by Stormi Weather View Post
    Sexism. I had a guy tell me it was "extreme" and "crazy" to carry a gun because "rape isn't that bad" and he'd known tons of women who "got over it and were just fine". Yeah buddy, I bet if you got raped you'd feel differently. Or even just lived a life where you had to be constantly on guard because of the kind of world we live in. Another guy told me I didn't need to wear shorts if I didn't want to be threatened and harassed by strangers. And yet another told me I deserved to feel worthless because I made the decision to join a profession that was 90% male (my old job). Obviously, none of those people are my friends anymore. I don't need that kind of energy in my life. Being in the sex industry is stigmatized and persecuted enough already. I need friends who make me feel strong.
    Can totes relate, I was getting on well with my new room mate who is a guy. I thought we could be friends then he said that girls who dress in short skirts are partly at fault for being raped/ molested and I was immediately like nope friendship is off the cards. I actually feel sick being around people who hold these type of views because I think they must have hate in their heart towards women which scares me.

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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    These are the seven sins I will not forgive:

    1. Stealing from me

    2. Plotting to kill me

    3. Sleeping with my girl (I wont forgive the girl either)

    4. Driving my car without my permission

    5. Entering my home without removing shoes

    6. Talking to me about religion with the intent of converting me

    7. Calling me dumb/stupid/idiot (even in friendly fashion, I don't like it)

    I have 11 friends and only one good one out of the bunch.
    Last edited by BlackSheEp3; 06-09-2013 at 06:32 PM.

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    Senior Member SydneyBrooke's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    1. Doing something against my kids or family with the express intentions to hurt them
    2. Trying to mess with my boyfriend
    3. Gossiping about me

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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    I consider myself an easy going person but I have a piss me off once thats it kinda deal. Since if you can do it once you would do it again. I don't need the stress or the games.

    Currently I have an ex friend who loves nothing better than saying nasty lies about me to other people. Seriously b!tch get a life.
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    Default Re: Unforgivable friendship sins

    ------
    Last edited by Renton; 07-01-2013 at 03:44 AM.

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