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Thread: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

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    Default do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    hello i have a question to the dancers.do you look at a regular customer as a friend,would you kiss him on the lips when he leaves or offer him rids home?...i know a dancer for awhile now she told me pretty earley on how nice i am and that i should meet a nice girl,she asked me if she could give me her number,and wanted to go to see a movie and that was pretty earely on.well over the time she now not only hugs me goodbye and gives me a kiss on the lips,and one night asked me if i need a ride home that night becuse i took a cab there,i told her no and that would be odd and she said "thats not odd it's just a friend giving a nother friend a ride home"...i told her we are not friends,so yeah do you dancers have a relationship with your customer,or think they are your friend?

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    Featured Member aussiebelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    Can only speak for myself but, no way Jose.

    If I ever told a customer he nice and my friend it would have been because I was using it as a hustle technique to get more money out of him. Would never kiss a customer on the lips or give him a ride home though urgh.
    Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    I've had customers where we got along really well and I legitimately enjoyed their company and liked them as a person, but at the end of the day they were still a customer.

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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    Sure, I've had customers who became friends out of the club but this is rare. More than likely if I saw them out of the club it's because they hired me for something like a party or an event so it was a business situation. I still wouldn't kiss them on the lips or give them a ride though.

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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    yes, a few customers i genuinely do like and my favorite one just stopped coming in and im feeling hurt actually then i remind myself that they are just a customer and its probably the money im missing. most strippers just do those things to make it feel more intimate and that they do like you so that you will spend more money

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    Veteran Member obscurity's Avatar
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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    NEVER! there must be boundaries...this is a job. depending on what your hustle is...but I didn't hustle when I danced so I don't believe in saying things that can put you in a bad situation. at the end of the day, you know no one. I don't care if they were as regular as everyday for 5 yrs....don't cross that line
    June Cleaver stripper

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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    good to see you Obscurity.

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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    Let's put it this way... I once had a favorite who kissed me several times after knowing her for a few years, spent a ton of time ITC even if I wasn't buying, told me I was more than a friend, texted several times a week even on days off, spent time with me outside the club. And then when she stopped dancing, I never heard from her again. Was I disappointed? Sure. But I wasn't surprised. She was a very good dancer, I was a very good customer, and while she danced, it was a good arrangement. But the arrangement was over once she stopped dancing.

    Hope that helps, Mr. X.

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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    There is a difference between being a friend and simply being friendly.
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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    hi i want to say thank you to all the lovely ladies here who answrerd this and anybody else,yeah this is a odd situation with this dancer and i.i get to over thinking the things she says to me and does, a part of me would like to believe she really does like me,and with the kisses on the lips she makes me wonder,but it had to be just a part of her game no way she really likes me.and sure i could have took the ride home and take her number and do a movie and all that good stuff.but i always turn it down,and i think its smart on my part.it can get in my head and mind f me.but i will overcome and at the end of the day i am just a customer at a club that she happens to perform at,and we have a business relationship nothing more nothing less...we are not friends!...thnx ever1 just wanted to ask

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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    A friend doesn't kiss you. A stripper can kiss you because of her hustle.





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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    You may not be her real life friend, but that doesn't mean she doesn't like you. I only have a few regs that I deal with solely for the money. The others that I see on a regular basis,.. "friends"? Maybe not, but I do like them, otherwise I wouldn't be dealing with them because usually there's plenty of other money to be made in the club.

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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    The bottom line is if an integral part of your interaction involves you paying her to spend time with you, you're not really friends.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    At the end of the day, regardless of how well you get along or how similar your senses of humor or "interests" seem, at the end of the day it’s a business relationship (one that is just easier and more pleasant than others).
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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by bem401 View Post
    The bottom line is if an integral part of your interaction involves you paying her to spend time with you, you're not really friends.
    I think that only counts OTC. Whenever I see one of my friends in the club, if I hang out with him, he gives me money. It's not that that he's paying me to spend time with him - we hang out OTC all the time - it's that he's considerate.. he understands I'm at work and time is valuable.

    Now for a friend to walk in, hang out, and leave me with nothing? That means he doesn't care. That's just rude.. not a good friend.

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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Addison View Post
    I think that only counts OTC. Whenever I see one of my friends in the club, if I hang out with him, he gives me money. It's not that that he's paying me to spend time with him - we hang out OTC all the time - it's that he's considerate.. he understands I'm at work and time is valuable.

    Now for a friend to walk in, hang out, and leave me with nothing? That means he doesn't care. That's just rude.. not a good friend.
    The key word in my post was "integral", meaning some spending was necessary for the "friendship" to exist all.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

    If you're in your twenties and aren't a liberal, you have no heart. If you're in you're forties and aren't a conservative, you have no brain - Winston Churchill

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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    The bottom line is if an integral part of your interaction involves you paying her to spend time with you, you're not really friends.
    I get this is usually your partyline - but it goes both ways: if part of your interaction means that this friend would never meet your other irl friends, family, coworkers or the context where you two met would never ever come up (even if she consented?): perhaps your intentions arent platonic and open in the traditional sense either? For the lionshare of people who post these kinds of things..... they arent considering the other side of the coin either.

    It goes both ways.

    That is usually how I view "Does she really like me" kind of threads, sure we can analyze her motives to death and reassure you that your/the OP's motives are pure but ohh hers are not -tsk tsk tsk- but if you would befriend / date / engage with her publicly and privately in a different manner than you would someone who works at a library then why fret so much over her intentions? yours arent rocksolid either. So it seems like the cost of (mutual) admission honestly. Just realize the boundaries, dont obsess over the boundaries,have your own boundaries and just enjoy yourself.





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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    I agree with you 100%. Apparent friendships where ulterior motives eexist or friendships that are concealed from others are not legitimate friendships IMO.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

    If you're in your twenties and aren't a liberal, you have no heart. If you're in you're forties and aren't a conservative, you have no brain - Winston Churchill

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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    Why people on these boards keep asking for universal answers about what dancers want, feel, ect...

    The answer is almost always depends on the dancer.

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    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    Generally speaking the dancer-customer relationship is very businesslike, yes, and the friendliness is merely our form of "professionalism". However, there have definitely been a select few customers over the years that I have had a kind of "special" bond with for lack of a less corny way of putting it! You know, I genuinely enjoy spending time with them, and look forward to our meetings and make note of certain things to tell them. This is usually due to shared interests and a genuine good connection, similar to how you sometimes become friends with small business owners/workers in your neighbourhood, like the barista at Starbucks, over time. I think there are lines not to be crossed though in the customer-dancer relationship...and I think an OTC friendship might be simply because well...the nature of lapdancing is sexual...and unless a dancer wants some kind of sexual relationship with you, she'll probably avoid spending time with you as a friend OTC because she thinks you already think of her in a sexual manner because of how you met...it sets a wierd precedent. That's why it is better for everyone for it to stay in the club lest things get messy!
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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Odette View Post
    Generally speaking the dancer-customer relationship is very businesslike, yes, and the friendliness is merely our form of "professionalism". However, there have definitely been a select few customers over the years that I have had a kind of "special" bond with for lack of a less corny way of putting it! You know, I genuinely enjoy spending time with them, and look forward to our meetings and make note of certain things to tell them. This is usually due to shared interests and a genuine good connection, similar to how you sometimes become friends with small business owners/workers in your neighbourhood, like the barista at Starbucks, over time. I think there are lines not to be crossed though in the customer-dancer relationship...and I think an OTC friendship might be simply because well...the nature of lapdancing is sexual...and unless a dancer wants some kind of sexual relationship with you, she'll probably avoid spending time with you as a friend OTC because she thinks you already think of her in a sexual manner because of how you met...it sets a wierd precedent. That's why it is better for everyone for it to stay in the club lest things get messy!
    Thanks, this is a good point. Every dancer at least pretends we're friends But there are times that a dancer is offering things that make no sense to me, unless she legitimately is enjoying our time -- not real friends, but "not just a regular regular ...most favored regular" kind of thing, perhaps. Every dancer who I become a regular of ends up in this space -- in fact, I wonder if I don't pick my regular girls based on me seeing this coming.

    In addition, although it seems to classified here with Bigfoot and unicorns, I have, a few times, experienced a stripper/client relationship evolve into actual dating, or friends-with-benefits, that lasted even after she retired from the biz. One of my most unique relationships is a stripper with whom I became friends in the club, despite the fact that I'd *never* spent a dime on her. I was always a bit confused by the relationship in the club, since I couldn't understand what she got out of it, but when she saw me in the club, she'd actually walk right by guys who were waiting for her, to sit and hang out with me. After she retired from stripping, we became much closer, introducing each other to the others' friends, seeking each other out to go to lunch or whatever, something that continued for years. When she retired from dancing, she had kept in touch with a few of her favorite customers, who she proclaimed she really dug. Over the next 6 months, she dropped them all out of her life. When I asked her about it, she told me, "I truly thought I liked those guys, but I think I was confusing my gratitude for them paying me generously for real affection. It's like how some customers confuse their lust and wishful thinking for something deeper. Now that they're not paying me, I'm finding I still think they're good guys but don't want them in my life anymore." Interesting and insightful...

    For myself, I appreciate "That's why it is better for everyone for it to stay in the club lest things get messy!", but nevertheless, the experience wouldn't be as interesting to me if I didn't pursue OTC, that's where some of my best experiences have been, and the rewards are easily worth the risks (Speaking only for myself. YMMV!)

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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    I have a couple of regulars that have become my friends. Actually, they are more like club furniture. I go to breakfast, have gone out to watch the Stanley Cup finals, they have met my family and I've met theirs, I even spent a week in Wisconsin with them recently. It took a long time to gain that kind of trust though. It is in no way something to be expected from every dancer though.

    When they are in the club, I expect them to keep a drink in my hand and get at least 1 dance (they aren't big on lapdances). If it's busy, I'm off hustling other customers though. When we are in public settings they pay for everything unless my BF is there to pay. It's a relationship we are both fine with.

    Would I ever kiss them? Hell no. The most any customer gets is a peck on the cheek or forehead when I'm drunk.

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    Default Re: do dancers think of a customer as a friend

    I know that's real. Cause some dudes kiss ALL the time, you never know. Im not big on kissing anyway UNLESS we are a couple confirmed! Besides, he's being checked out just like you are, so keep a drink in my hand and on topic from looking at another man. ;-)

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