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Thread: A former client is being creepy; how worried should I be?

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    Default A former client is being creepy; how worried should I be?

    Last year, I had a regular client for about six months (I'm an escort/dominatrix/general fetish sexworker). He and I got along smashingly until he started getting really fixated on me. He started divorce proceedings with his wife, under the misapprehension that I was going to ride off into the sunset with him. I never gave him any indication that I wanted a relationship with him- he knows I have a girlfriend, keep my work-life separate from my personal-life, etc. He just had some seriously faulty assumptions about the nature of our relationship. I dropped him as a client as soon as he told me he'd left his wife and family and wanted me to get an apartment with him, but he has not stopped contacting me. He texts me approximately once a day, and has tracked me down on every social networking site I'm on. He makes email accounts with fake names attached and responds to my Eros and P411 profiles, pretending to be a new potential client but then revealing his real identity and pleading to see me. He has said his life is empty without me, he needs to be with me, can't go on without me, blah blah blah. This would all be annoying yet tolerable, but he just sent me a text letting me know that he has moved to my town. I live in a small suburb of a larger city; he has no reason to be here. He has a general idea where I live, because I've joked about living in the Uni dorms, and he knows what my car looks like. I'm not very afraid he'll try to track me down, but I want to be sensible and take precautions. Is there anything I can do at this point, without compromising my work or looking like a paranoid fool? He told me where he is living now, and it's about a mile away. For all I know, I'll see him at the grocery store tomorrow.

    Help, what should my next step be? Ignore it, warn my friends to keep an eye on me, get a switchblade to keep in my bra...?

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    Default Re: A former client is being creepy; how worried should I be?

    I think you should try and tell him you arent interested at all. End all ties with him. If he persists, get an injunction... It can go from stalking to fatal in no time......

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    Default Re: A former client is being creepy; how worried should I be?

    At the time I cut him off as a client, I told him not to contact me in any way. I have never replied to his texts or emails. He sends them, I ignore them.

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    Default Re: A former client is being creepy; how worried should I be?

    I think I would tell him one last time and let him know about a possible injunction if he continues....

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    Default Re: A former client is being creepy; how worried should I be?

    Well:

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    Default Re: A former client is being creepy; how worried should I be?

    Aughhhh, GlamourRouge! I am now creeped out even further! I would just hate to get the police involved, since I live in a state where mere BDSM is illegal. I don't want to get knifed by this guy, but I also don't want my profession to be public knowledge to anyone.

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    Default Re: A former client is being creepy; how worried should I be?

    Id be freakin out right now, you need a gun on you all the time and get a restraining order. You dont know what this guy could be trying to do. Thats cray cray!

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    Default Re: A former client is being creepy; how worried should I be?

    Quote Originally Posted by RedOdalisque View Post
    Aughhhh, GlamourRouge! I am now creeped out even further! I would just hate to get the police involved, since I live in a state where mere BDSM is illegal. I don't want to get knifed by this guy, but I also don't want my profession to be public knowledge to anyone.
    Don't be creeped out. Plus, she did sessions at her home. I would just make it clear you aren't into him. And move.

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    Default Re: A former client is being creepy; how worried should I be?

    I'm creeped out *for* you. Some clients do all the weird persistent contact bullshit, but moving to your area? That's fucking bizarre. I sincerely hope you have a gun and know how to use it.

    Document all the harassment (making sure your "NO!" is insistent and present somewhere in a conversation). If your client starts physically stalking you, I'm afraid you might have no other choice than to involve your local PD. Right now though, if he hasn't threatened/physically stalked you, depending on the laws in your state, the police may not be able to do anything. This is a bad situation all-around.

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    Default Re: A former client is being creepy; how worried should I be?

    Sorry to hear that red. Stalkers cause stress and any contact or visible reaction from you is a win for them. If you do go to the police, the first question they will ask is 'Did you have a relationship with this person, so be prepared about how you will answer that question. Also consider legal implications per your state about what you say. This guy has already gone way over the line.

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    Default Re: A former client is being creepy; how worried should I be?

    I have done fetish and Domme work - and now escort work. Is this man a fetishist/submissive?

    In my experience, fetishists/subs are so much more clingy than escort clients. It is night and day! I think the first step is to go and warn other girls about him. Blacklist him, if you haven't already. They may not listen, but you can sleep better at night.

    Second, do you actually know that this freak has moved to your area/actually left his wife. I have encountered past clients (and know other girls who have too) who have had guys wrap their head in fantasy so hard. None of what they said was true. But still, it is unstable behaviour.

    This is not my first time at the creepy dude rodeo - feel free to pm me.

    Stay safe - and have I mentioned how much I ADORE escort work? Seriously, I love kink but am happy to have branched out!

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    Default Re: A former client is being creepy; how worried should I be?

    Hi, Vivvie! He's a fetishist, not a submssive, but I know what you mean- the fetish/sub guys get incredibly attached, and tend to be way needy and attention-hungry! I'll put something on VerifyHim so girls know to stay away. I have no proof that he moved here, but a few of his texts (that I was ignoring) were about how he was going to move to my city, and might see me around sometime. Maybe he was just playing headgames, but I don't want to risk it!

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    Default Re: A former client is being creepy; how worried should I be?

    So sorry to hear of such bullshit on his part. I used to do bodyrubs and had a client get attached and then try to follow me in his car down the street. I seen his ass behind in and I hit the gas! I floored it down the street and turned the corner at about 40mph and drove around in a circle, but I lost that ass. After that he didn't contact me for about a month then started really calling. I have a google number. 1 i never returned his calls 2. blocked his ass 3 got google voice to say the number was disconnected after a while he finally go the message.

    In your case I feel like even if you are scared to death don't let that cocksucker know it. Do not respond no matter how tempting it may be to "let him have it." When they know they have no power they will go find another. If you really feel some type of way and you know his info then I say sure get a restraining order. Say you met in a bar and became friends you don't have to say you were rubbing balls or what have you. I don't think he would say that especially if it came down to your word vs his, that would be silly and a chance most men wouldn't take especially if he was married or attached. Good luck with that, keep us in the loop. These men out here now a day are getting nuttier and nuttier. But trust me, as scared as you might be keep it in your mind that it will be him going down before it will ever be you. Cause in my case I am a mom and I will get you first if I feel like you are coming for me.

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