
Originally Posted by
LoveHerButton
maybe there should be a website called "heartless-pricks"?
lol, btw, I'm just messing with ya. sorta. but it does go both ways.
Why "Nice Girls" are often such LOSERS
You hear it all the time: "She was such a NICE Girl, and he's such a Heartless Prick for dumping her."
What's wrong with Nice Girls? The biggest problem is that most Nice Girls (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Girl really likes you for who you are, or if she has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to her.
Nice Girls exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are men out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Girls", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Girls complain about men being horrible, when the so often the kind of man that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...
Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted men find "Nice Girls" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.
They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating him, they worship him. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.
They cling to him, and want to be "one" with him for fear that if he is out of sight, he may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Girl often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because she believes that if he learns about the REAL person inside, he will no longer love her.
Nice Girls are always asking HIM to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on him, and gives her the opportunity to blame him if the decision was an unwise one.
Nice Girls rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When he doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for him.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A man doesn't want a martyr. He wants an equal, caring, adult partner.
Nice Girls think that they will never meet anyone as special as he is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love him as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to him: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here."
This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Girls don't like themselves. Is it any wonder men don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Girls mistake obsession for "love".
Get this Girls: INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A TURNOFF.
You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of man with whom a long-term relationship is possible.
Bookmarks