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Thread: Nice Guys Finish Last...

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    Default Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Just wondering what everyone's thoughts are on this... and no, I do not mean nice guys cum after the girl cums I never really believed it, but have been noticing it more and more it seems....


    edit* ( Just found a bunch of other threads pertaining to this topic, sorry for not searching first )

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Most "nice guys" really aren't. That's why they finish last.

    The fact is mature women want nice guys, as in guys who are nice to us. However we don't like clingy men (many of whom think they are nice guys)nor do we want men who think by buying us gifts means we will date them.

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Badboys get the girls.

    !TheOne

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    The thing is a lot of "nice guys" are actually dicks. "I'M A NICE GUY! I TOOK HER TO DINNER BUT SHE WON'T DATE ME" etc..yeah, how "nice" of you.

    O can't build a relationship around "nice". If we don't have things in common and if we have no chemistry, then it doesn't really matter how "nice" you are - because it's not going to work out.

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Nice guys (and nice women) make good doormats. Nobody respects or loves a doormat.

    Sums it up nicely here: http://www.heartless-bitches.com/ran...niceguys.shtml







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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Thanks for the insight everyone! I guess i should have clarified a bit more, I wasnt only talking about relationships, but even in friendship such as helping people out.. from my observation, nice 'people' get used and taken advantage of.. I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that they let the people use them... but if they truely are 'nice' they most likely will still want to help..

    What is the line of 'being nice' and 'being to nice'?

    ( should change Topic to: 'Nice People Finish Last' )

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    True. There's a guy I really like and we are building something that I believe will lead to a serious relationship. Anyway, he always does nice things for everyone and they have come to expect it. My dad used to be like this until he realized that yes some will take advantage.

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Quote Originally Posted by MasterZeus View Post
    Thanks for the insight everyone! I guess i should have clarified a bit more, I wasnt only talking about relationships, but even in friendship such as helping people out.. from my observation, nice 'people' get used and taken advantage of.. I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that they let the people use them... but if they truely are 'nice' they most likely will still want to help..

    What is the line of 'being nice' and 'being to nice'?

    ( should change Topic to: 'Nice People Finish Last' )
    It's actually a bit more complicated.

    You want to be nice to people who are nice to you or have proven themselves to you in someway.

    If you're being nice to someone because you want something from them (like how most nice guys are to women), then it's obvious what you're up to and you'll be seen as manipulative. Hence, nice guys finish last.

    !TheOne

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Quote Originally Posted by !TheOne View Post
    It's actually a bit more complicated.

    You want to be nice to people who are nice to you or have proven themselves to you in someway.

    If you're being nice to someone because you want something from them (like how most nice guys are to women), then it's obvious what you're up to and you'll be seen as manipulative. Hence, nice guys finish last.

    !TheOne
    I understand this perspective, and I agree. Even my wife has this high school friend, who always seems to get in a slump of some sort... and when she does, she always leans on my wife and my wife always helps her... Otherwise, my wife never even hears from this 'friend'...

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    You can be nice, and then you can be an idiot, unfortunately. Nice is trying to find your friend who has had some bad luck a job. Idiot is giving the junkie in the grocery store parking lot "gas money." Some people seek to take advantage, and you really have to draw lines. I used to be dumb-nice and accept any apology, however half-assed, and help out anyone who asked. Oh, you need a ride to work and your live an hour away from me to begin with and we hardly know one another? Sure! You need to crash at my house because you got kicked out? Well let's make this fun! I attracted users and people with victim mentalities, and it was a huge negative impact on my life. Of course, I was labeled the worst type of bitch when I stopped answering 3AM phone calls because so-and-so went back to her boyfriend and he made her cry and she wants to be picked up, but it had become obvious I wasn't in genuine friendships. I actually started counting with one "friend" how many conversations in a row I could begin by asking her how she was, listen to a huge rant/story, then she would never return the question, even superficially. After seven, I stopped asking, and when I stopped asking, she found a new bestie.

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaana View Post
    The thing is a lot of "nice guys" are actually dicks. "I'M A NICE GUY! I TOOK HER TO DINNER BUT SHE WON'T DATE ME" etc..yeah, how "nice" of you.

    O can't build a relationship around "nice". If we don't have things in common and if we have no chemistry, then it doesn't really matter how "nice" you are - because it's not going to work out.
    Dealt with this one a lot where a guy thought because he bought me dinner he was a nice guy and we should date. Many times the men were friends and I thought it was just a dinner with a friend until he pulled this. Or the men when I did online dating who would buy a meal then get mad because I didn't feel a spark because to them this was being nice. Its why I starting meeting men for a snack or nothing at all to prevent this.

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Yeah, I used to be the "nice girl", and it doesn't work. I was a doormat and accepted all kinds of stupid ass excuses and lies for things. To this day, I still have that one friend that is not always there when I need her, and is super self-centered, but I've learned to not go out of my way for her is all. I can be reasonably pleasant to those kind of people still, but now I just file away in my brain all the times they fucked me over or left me hanging or didn't return something they borrowed, and next time they want something, I review my "files" and say "Hmm... no". It would be crossing the line of being too nice, if I were still letting them do all the same stuff, regardless of how many times they fucked me over. Funnily enough, as soon as I say no, I become the bitch, even though I let them take advantage of me before

    Also being a "nice girl" I dated an asshole for years, because I was determined I could help him get off drugs and back in college, but alas. Some of us "nice girls" have to fix people, which usually ends in us finishing last... again, crossing the line of "too nice" by letting the douche walk on us. Again, I was suddenly the conceited bitch when I finally (very publicly) told him off for treating me like shit and still expecting to own me... luckily all of my friends already knew how he'd treated me, so they told him to shut the fuck up


    And as for the "nice guys"... there are 3 kinds, from my observations:
    1) the ones that are just saying they're nice... they are the kind that have the mentality of "I bought this girl a drink and dinner, she is now obligated to want to date me again!" and go into a pity party when the girl declines (not understanding that sometimes you don't click).
    2) the ones that whine they are "friend-zoned" because they are "too nice"... there is a Tumblr thing that describes them perfectly, in comparison to a guy walking into a shop and saying "How dare you not offer me a job!" and the clerk responding "You never applied!"
    3) the genuinely nice guys, such as my boyfriend, who are really genuine, caring beings, but don't let people walk on them and don't get butthurt when a girl rejects them. These are really hard to find, in my experience. He is NOT finishing last, he just had to wait 28 years before he found a girl that would appreciate him
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Nice guys don't finish last. Guys that pretend to be nice to get what they want finish last. You always here the but but I was nice which entitles they feel entitles them to getting in her panties. That's not nice it's manipulation and nice men don't result to acts of manipulation to bed women.

    You typically hear this from guys that are generally unattractive and force themselves into the friendzone with a girl that would never see them as anything more. I actually had a falling out with a reg because I told him that I couldn't believe he would even try that on his female friends. He got pissy and bounced. Again it's about a guy that wants to get around a girl and try to work his way finding out who she is and feels entitled to a reward for friendship. He's not a true friend but a vulture waiting to make his move. It backfires horribly because once the girl figures it out she feels betrayed.

    Other men that friendzone themselves will pressure the female friend with " You're dating these terrible guys when you have a great guy right here". He doesn't realize he's the bad guy because his friendship was false.

    Think of the many men that have tried to get your number by saying " I just want to be your friend" even after you've said " I have a boyfriend". Guy is just waiting in the wings hoping things fall apart so he can swoop in for a rebound lay. I really wish someone would make a movie called " Friendzone" so that they can at the very least see themselves. It's such a common practice that I think many don't see what's wrong with this tactic.

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    ^^ I'm sure there are plenty of dudes like that, but I have a lot of guy friends that genuinely start out as the girl's friend, and eventually fall in love with her. I hang out with a lot of shy dorky dudes though, so they are usually too afraid to say anything and just assume they are friendzoned... they fall into my category #2. But it's not always a buttering-up, evil plot type situation with a false friendship, you can genuinely be friends first and then have romantic feelings later.

    Those guys definitely exist though... fending off one right now... "Oh, I just wanted your number so we can go out country dancing"; he actually asks all the time if I'm bringing my boyfriend to make the "point" that he's not trying to pick me up *eye roll* You are not sneaky, bro!!!
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Perhaps it would be best if men just came out and said it instead of trying to be "manipulative": "I find you attractive and our convo has been great so far. Wanna have sex?". Fuck it.
    Quote Originally Posted by AmyLynne View Post
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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Nice guys don't finish last...pushovers do.

    You gotta be nice to the girl and be considerate, but don't accommodate her so much you have no life of your own.

    After spending some time on the PUA forums...my approach/view on relationships has changed greatly.

    I still believe in treating the girl like a queen but at times throw a little cockiness and negs in the mix. Playfully poke fun at her. Don't overdo it.

    And last but not least...change for nobody. Change for you.

    And this goes for girls too.

    So for both sexes...80% angel and 20% devil. 80/20 is just right.

    Girls need to be a bitch sometimes (that time of month perhaps is your pass)

    Guys need to be a dick sometimes (Show you got some balls...but don't overdo it)
    Last edited by BlackSheEp3; 05-22-2013 at 07:59 PM.

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    ^ Cold hard truth right there.
    Quote Originally Posted by qurl View Post
    You are sassy AND smart Miss Pickles.

    "Well behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    And from what I have seen if you want to go into 100% bitch/beast mode you better have the looks to back it up.

    It doesn't make it right but a hot guy or girl can afford to be that way because their good looks are working for them...of course they know it as well.

    I consider myself a 7 out of 10 in the looks department...I feel decent enough on the eyes, not ugly but not super hottie either.

    Now if I was a 10...I would be a hell of a lot more cocky and arrogant to an extent. But bear in mind I only treat people in the way I want to be treated.

    As I believe some average 7 girl would as well.

    Its the whole "I'm sexy and I know it" attitude upgrade/change.

    So for me I have to be nice (courteous but not door mat status) by default if that makes any sense because instead of having 8 out of 10 girls pursuing me...I have 4 out 10 girls pursuing me. My selection is limited. Its like I'm a small business owner and instead of having the desired 100 applicants...I have 25 applicants.

    Lets face it, looks arent everything and they can only last for so long but they are critical in addition to a good personality.

    The whole relationship scene should be simple but noooo...there are to many damn rules.

    But the bottom line is don't let people mistake your kindness for weakness.

    This is just my opinion and way of thought...its not meant to be taken as fact.
    Last edited by BlackSheEp3; 05-22-2013 at 08:44 PM.

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    there's a difference between being nice and being an insecure little bitch who is desperate for friends and girlfriends/boyfriends. desperation wreaks. as a stupid teenage girl i loved the "bad boy". i've grown out of that, but i STILL want a man with a backbone, independence, and self respect and dignity!! you can be kind and still know where to draw the damn line! and i don't buy that looks have much to do with it..at first maybe, but im sorry if i drop dead gorgeous girl acted like some homeless puppy following you everywhere and thanking you for kicking it you would get sick of that in NO time.

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveHerButton View Post
    maybe there should be a website called "heartless-pricks"?
    lol, btw, I'm just messing with ya. sorta. but it does go both ways.


    Why "Nice Girls" are often such LOSERS

    You hear it all the time: "She was such a NICE Girl, and he's such a Heartless Prick for dumping her."

    What's wrong with Nice Girls? The biggest problem is that most Nice Girls (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Girl really likes you for who you are, or if she has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to her.

    Nice Girls exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are men out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Girls", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Girls complain about men being horrible, when the so often the kind of man that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...
    Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted men find "Nice Girls" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.

    They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating him, they worship him. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.

    They cling to him, and want to be "one" with him for fear that if he is out of sight, he may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Girl often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because she believes that if he learns about the REAL person inside, he will no longer love her.
    Nice Girls are always asking HIM to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on him, and gives her the opportunity to blame him if the decision was an unwise one.

    Nice Girls rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When he doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for him.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A man doesn't want a martyr. He wants an equal, caring, adult partner.

    Nice Girls think that they will never meet anyone as special as he is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love him as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to him: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here."

    This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Girls don't like themselves. Is it any wonder men don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Girls mistake obsession for "love".

    Get this Girls: INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A TURNOFF.

    You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of man with whom a long-term relationship is possible.
    When I was younger I was like this and I cringe about it now. I would beg men not to dump me, I would bend over backwards for men, including ignoring my needs, values and morals just to keep a man. I dated a few losers that I was way more worthy of. Now I refuse to settle and am not clingy. I hate clingy men in fact and have a "whatever" attitude towards dating. Yes I want a husband but would rather be single than settle and bend for him. I am very secure in myself and now I can get what I desire.

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveHerButton View Post
    maybe there should be a website called "heartless-pricks"?
    lol, btw, I'm just messing with ya. sorta. but it does go both ways.


    Why "Nice Girls" are often such LOSERS

    You hear it all the time: "She was such a NICE Girl, and he's such a Heartless Prick for dumping her."

    What's wrong with Nice Girls? The biggest problem is that most Nice Girls (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Girl really likes you for who you are, or if she has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to her.

    Nice Girls exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are men out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Girls", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Girls complain about men being horrible, when the so often the kind of man that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...
    Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted men find "Nice Girls" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.

    They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating him, they worship him. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.

    They cling to him, and want to be "one" with him for fear that if he is out of sight, he may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Girl often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because she believes that if he learns about the REAL person inside, he will no longer love her.
    Nice Girls are always asking HIM to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on him, and gives her the opportunity to blame him if the decision was an unwise one.

    Nice Girls rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When he doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for him.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A man doesn't want a martyr. He wants an equal, caring, adult partner.

    Nice Girls think that they will never meet anyone as special as he is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love him as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to him: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here."

    This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Girls don't like themselves. Is it any wonder men don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Girls mistake obsession for "love".

    Get this Girls: INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A TURNOFF.

    You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of man with whom a long-term relationship is possible.
    all you did was spin that article I posted the link too and replace "guys" with "girls" ? lol







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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    "Nice guys finish last."

    You have a wife and your saying that...hm.

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Quote Originally Posted by shasta View Post
    "Nice guys finish last."

    You have a wife and your saying that...hm.
    yeah, in one of my posts above, I realized I should have changed it to "Nice People Finish Last"

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    Default Re: Nice Guys Finish Last...

    Quote Originally Posted by HaydenBlue View Post
    all you did was spin that article I posted the link too and replace "guys" with "girls" ? lol
    Thanks removed for plagiarism lol
    Quote Originally Posted by qurl View Post
    You are sassy AND smart Miss Pickles.

    "Well behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

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    By madmaxine in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 133
    Last Post: 08-18-2004, 03:00 PM

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