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Thread: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

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    Featured Member minnow's Avatar
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    Default Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    In all my years of clubbing, I've yet to see a dancer vs dancer fight that comes to fisticuffs. Yet 2 incidents at 2 different "road" clubs where I'm a sorta regular involved nipping a potential conflict in the bud. I'm not 100% sure I was successful, as both could have spilled over into dressing room fights. Comments from blue and pink alike welcomed. I'm not looking for any affirmations of my action. Additionally, I'm curious how the dancers would have acted/reacted if they were in either of the dancers shoes.

    Scenario 1- Crowd level moderate. "M", one of the more attractive dancers in a club full of hotties approaches me for a lapdance. Since I just had a lapdance, I responded that I'd get one a little bit later. A few minutes later, "B", a long time fave who had been absent for several months came by, and started chatting me up. We were barely into chat when "M" came by and asked "are you going to get a dance with me or her." B seemed visibly nervous by the intrusion, so I said "I'll dance with B first, I'll get you later." True to my word, I did get dance from "M" later, mentioning to her that I'd known "B" for a few years. "Yeah- yeah".

    Postcript: "Promises are made to be kept." "Praise in public, criticize in private." Those are 2 good behavioral guidelines, but looking back, "M" was misbehaving for cutting in on the conversation like she did. As there was an interval between the 2 dances where I saw neither dancer on the floor, I wonder if a fight (or an unpleasant verbal exchange) occured in the interim. ("M" is more hard edged, assertive, "B" has a sweeter disposition). Given that interruption was rude, I should have cut "M" off right then and there saying " hey, I've known B for (X) years, I don't appreciate you interrupting us, I won't be getting any dances from you."

    Scenario 2- Things are relatively slow but starting to pick up. I'm sitting stageside with a newbie (E1) on stage. After tipping her mid song, she chats me up for several seconds, getting around to asking me if I'd be interested in a dance after set. I actually wanted to chill a bit longer, but stageside chitchat never hurt anybody, NOT! About 15-20 seconds into conversation, E2 takes seat next to me stageside, and breaks into conversation with "hello, minnow, how are you doing". E1 takes immediate offense saying "hey, I'm talking to him." E2 shoots back "hey, I've been dancing here (X) years, I can talk to anyone I want to." After 3 back and forth volleys, I motion E1 closer to me saying "I'm going to pass on a dance, I've known E2 for a while." At that, E1 broke off, and resumed her set.

    Postscript/Background: I should mention that particular club is a fairly high hustle club. It is common practice for dancers to pitch LD's with stageside customers during a stage dancers set. Maybe so, but I'd never had an approaching dancer interrupt a conversation/interaction with me as E2 did. Just a fyi- One dancer was Hispanic, another Eastern European. I knew E2 for several years, and had bought several dances from her, but lately she hasn't been on the top of my wish list. Curious how dancers would act/ react in either shoes. (Newbie dancer is seen talking with a regular of yours , or another dancer cuts in on you.)
    I'm right 96% of the time. I don't sweat the other 5% .......................

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    Nip it in the Bud, Andy!

    Curious how dancers would act/ react in either shoes. (Newbie dancer is seen talking with a regular of yours , or another dancer cuts in

    ^What types of shoes, Pleaser, or ? joke

    If you check out Stripping section, there's threads on this
    Last edited by whirlerz; 05-31-2013 at 09:55 AM.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

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    Default Re: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    I read the title as something having to do with Nipps and Butts. I gotta get out more...
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    "M" would have been off my dance card as soon as she cut in on the conversation with another dancer seated with me. There is no excuse for that sort of rude BS. She is trying to intimidate both you and the other dancer.
    Last edited by yoda57us; 05-31-2013 at 02:29 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
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    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
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    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    Quote Originally Posted by minnow View Post
    ---I should have cut "M" off right then and there saying " hey, I've known B for (X) years, I don't appreciate you interrupting us, I won't be getting any dances from you."

    ---E2 shoots back "hey, I've been dancing here (X) years, I can talk to anyone I want to." After 3 back and forth volleys, I motion E1 closer to me saying "I'm going to pass on a dance, I've known E2 for a while." At that, E1 broke off, and resumed her set.

    ---I knew E2 for several years, and had bought several dances from her, but lately she hasn't been on the top of my wish list.

    Curious how dancers would act/ react in either shoes. (Newbie dancer is seen talking with a regular of yours , or another dancer cuts in on you.)
    Truth be told, the "X years" angle has nothing to do with anything. Regardless of how long you know a dancer or how long a dancer works some place, etc. Regulars of mine come into the club to get dances and if they want to sample some variety, they are more than welcome to do so. New dancers don't know whose customer is whose*, so it has never offended me if they approach a customer who comes in to see me specifically. New girls don't know and the customer can spend his money where he wants.

    *I use the term "whose customer" not to denote possession by dancers, but to indicate that some guys come in to see a particular girl and will only dance with her. I've seen this sort of customer wait 4-5 hours for their favorite girl to get out of the VIP room. At times they'll get a few dances from other strippers to pass the time but usually, they wait around and conserve money for their time with their favorite girl. No big deal, either way.

    I will never fight over a customer. Never have, never will.

    That being said, I wouldn't appreciate a girl swooping in and trying to poach a prospect that I have invested my time in. Some of the clubs I worked in have very strict rules regarding approaching customers that are sitting with a dancer. To quote one manager's admonition: "I don't care if you know the customer for years. You are not to come by his table, even if it's just to say 'hi' if you see him sitting with another dancer." So for me, it has never been an issue... I wasn't allowed to do that and never did it even if wasn't stated so overtly at another club. I always assumed it was etiquette.

    I don't care enough to act possessive and tacky. I leave it up to the customer to decide what he wants to do.

    You needn't defend your choice and provide a rude dancer with any form of reasoning. Just say that you'd like to get a dance with whomever and politely excuse yourself to the dance area.
    Last edited by Sophia_Starina; 05-31-2013 at 10:34 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    Minnow, 99.9% of the time I am seemingly a very nice guy and don't get phased by much of anything. However, in the rare instances where a dancer screws around while I am being entertained by another dancer, I go into asshole mode real quick. I have a zero tolerance for this type of behavior. I would have told M that I'd dance with whoever the fuck I wanted to.

    That may sound like tough talk, but I practice what I preach. I learned, through some hard lessons in my younger years, that pushy or desperate dancers can ruin your entire night if you let them. If you don't control your space/experience, someone else will, especially in high hustle clubs. I keep my proverbial newspaper rolled up in my back pocket, ready for use in situations just like the ones that you discussed.

    With respect to E2, I probably would have thanked her for stopping by and then told her that I'm not looking for company at the moment. I would have sent her away with a smile, but also a firm look (one I use often to send away dancers who don't take a hint). Then, when E1 was done on stage, I would have invited her over. E2's offense wasn't quite as egregious since E1 was on stage as opposed to in the seat next to you, but she knew what she was doing.

    Now I'll be perfectly candid in saying that I struggle with this a lot more when it involves girls with whom I have special arrangements. In fact, I've written volumes in the blue side about those struggles. But in ordinary club situations, I will never let a dancer interfere with my interactions with other dancers.

    Anyway, just my
    Last edited by rickdugan; 05-31-2013 at 11:16 AM.

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    Default Re: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Minnow, 99.9% of the time I am seemingly a very nice guy and don't get phased by much of anything. However, in the rare instances where a dancer screws around while I am being entertained by another dancer, I go into asshole mode real quick. I have a zero tolerance for this type of behavior. I would have told M that I'd dance with whoever the fuck I wanted to.

    That may sound like tough talk, but I practice what I preach. I learned, through some hard lessons in my younger years, that pushy or desperate dancers can ruin your entire night if you let them. If you don't control your space/experience, someone else will, especially in high hustle clubs. I keep my proverbial newspaper rolled up in my back pocket, ready to use on the noses of aggressive dancers who try to pull stunts just like that.

    With respect to E2, I probably would have thanked her for stopping by and then told her that I'm not looking for company at the moment. I would have sent her away with a smile, but also a firm look (one I use often to send away dancers who don't take a hint). Then, when E1 was done on stage, I would have invited her over. E2's offense wasn't quite as egregious since E1 was on stage as opposed to the seat next to you, but she knew what she was doing.

    Now I'll be perfectly candid in saying that I struggle with this a lot more when it involves girls with whom I have engaged in OTC p4p, especially when I don't want to lose them as a source. In fact, I've written volumes in the blue side about those struggles. But in ordinary club situations, I will never let a dancer interfere with my interactions with other dancers.

    Anyway, just my
    Good on you, rick! I would rather a customer stand up for himself politely if I inadvertently encroach somehow.

    Customers take note, saying "No thank you, I'm not interested" is absolutely acceptable and beats the Hell out of wishy washy gobbledygook like "I dunno" or "maybe later" or "hahaha, don't fight over me, ladies *wink*".

    There's no need to be an asshole ( I think ). Just be clear and direct. If I come down from the dressing room and I see a solitary guy I might approach, how the holy fuck am I supposed to know that his girl is in the ladies room or on stage? Being upfront, stating that you're waiting for someone or interested in someone else is just fine. Say thanks and send the gal on her way. No newspapers necessary.

    Some guys are hard sells, so we have been conditioned to press the issue. Be firm but polite, please.

    Again, the scenarios I just mentioned aren't the same as attempting to steal a customer from underneath a dancers nose... but still, I have seen the aftermath (in dressing rooms) if a girl sits down with another dancer's guy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Featured Member minnow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    Nip it in the Bud, Andy/// SNIPS

    If you check out Stripping section, there's threads on this
    Whirly, is that an engraved invitation from you to do some prurient snooping in LO sections ?

    RE- E1vsE2. I should have made it clear that I wasn't that interested in E1. E2 can be persistent, I've cut her off on some other occasions when I'd rather have dances with others. The dynamics are such that no dancer "owns" me. Sophia, I'd never wait 4-5 hours for anyone to get out of VIP. Maybe 1 hour tops. After 1 hour, all bets are off. I'm not one to completely "frost out" prospective dancers.
    I'm right 96% of the time. I don't sweat the other 5% .......................

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    Default Re: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    Quote Originally Posted by minnow View Post
    Sophia, I'd never wait 4-5 hours for anyone to get out of VIP. Maybe 1 hour tops. After 1 hour, all bets are off. I'm not one to completely "frost out" prospective dancers.
    Never said you would.

    I have seen it happen though. There are some die-hard guys out there. Personally, I never understood that level of devotion.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Good on you, rick! I would rather a customer stand up for himself politely if I inadvertently encroach somehow.

    Customers take note, saying "No thank you, I'm not interested" is absolutely acceptable and beats the Hell out of wishy washy gobbledygook like "I dunno" or "maybe later" or "hahaha, don't fight over me, ladies *wink*".

    There's no need to be an asshole ( I think ). Just be clear and direct. If I come down from the dressing room and I see a solitary guy I might approach, how the holy fuck am I supposed to know that his girl is in the ladies room or on stage? Being upfront, stating that you're waiting for someone or interested in someone else is just fine. Say thanks and send the gal on her way. No newspapers necessary.

    Some guys are hard sells, so we have been conditioned to press the issue. Be firm but polite, please.

    Again, the scenarios I just mentioned aren't the same as attempting to steal a customer from underneath a dancers nose... but still, I have seen the aftermath (in dressing rooms) if a girl sits down with another dancer's guy.
    Sophia, I hear what you are saying and wholeheartedly agree with your thoughts on how to handle these things. My own approach is normally friendly yet firm, not only for humanitarian reasons but because it keeps my stripper related drama to a minimum. I spend a lot of nights in a lot of clubs each year, and have done so for many years now, and rarely do I attract drama.

    However, just as there are sometimes problem customers who need to be put in line, so too do some dancers exist who require firmer responses. IMHO, M fell into that category, not because she tried to steal minnow (remember this is a customer perspective), which is kinda' par for the course in some clubs, but rather because of the way that she did it. Not only did she have no qualms about bursting in and interrupting his conversation, but then she ran a game on him.

    There is a difference between persistence and displays of utter disrespect and, IMHO, this fell into the latter category. Totally unacceptable. If it were me, I would have (and have historically) said exactly what I indicated above. IME girls who treat customers like this often take politeness for weakness and if you do not shut them down hard and fast then they will try it again.

    Anyway, I won't belabor it and we can agree to disagree if necessary, but IMHO bad behavior should not be tolerated either from customers or dancers.
    Last edited by rickdugan; 05-31-2013 at 02:11 PM.

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    Default Re: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    I've had guys wait for me, which always seemed odd but I didn't care obviously. They tended to be the men who spent hundreds.

    Anyway I have had both situations happened and in both cases I was the person there first. In the one case I was chatting with a guy who had one particular dancer as a regular. I didn't know this (I was new)so when she came over he excused himself to get a dance with her, stating he was waiting for her. I got up and later told the dancer I had no idea it was her regular. I've had problems with dancers and regulars so I was always worried about this. After that I would avoid him. I did have a few dancers interrupt a conversation I had with a customer but they often told her they weren't interested in her. A few customers got annoyed when they did this.

    In the second case most clubs I worked at had a strict rule where dancers were not supposed to hustle customers at the stage unless they were dancing there. It never stopped a few from doing so though I never did. I had a dancer do that often when I was on stage and I told her to knock it off or I would tell management. She kept doing it so I told management and long story she was doing it to others as well.

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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Sophia, I hear what you are saying and wholeheartedly agree with your thoughts on how to handle these things. My own approach is normally friendly yet firm, not only for humanitarian reasons but because it keeps my stripper related drama to a minimum. I spend a lot of nights in a lot of clubs each year, and have done so for many years now, and rarely do I attract drama.

    However, just as there are sometimes problem customers who need to be put in line, so too do some dancers exist who require firmer responses. IMHO, M fell into that category, not because she tried to steal minnow (remember this is a customer perspective), which is kinda' par for the course in some clubs, but rather because of the way that she did it. Not only did she have no qualms about bursting in and interrupting his conversation, but then she ran a game on him.

    There is a difference between persistence and displays of utter disrespect and, IMHO, this fell into the latter category. Totally unacceptable. If it were me, I would have (and have historically) said exactly what I indicated above. IME girls who treat customers like this often take politeness for weakness and if you do not shut them down hard and fast then they will try it again.

    Anyway, I won't belabor it and we can agree to disagree if necessary, but IMHO bad behavior should not be tolerated either from customers or dancers.
    We're cool, dude. I know there are some rude broads out there. I take no offense... as long as you're nice to me, always
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    We're cool, dude. I know there are some rude broads out there. I take no offense... as long as you're nice to me, always
    How could anyone ever be anything but nice to you? You're cool beans.

    Anyway, I'm didn't mean to fill up this thread or to be contentious. I'm going to stop here in the hopes that others will share their thoughts.
    Last edited by rickdugan; 06-01-2013 at 05:26 AM.

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    Default Re: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    sometimes the new dancer needs to be schooled in the rules. unwritten or written there is an order of things.

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    Default Re: Nipping Dancer Fights In The Bud: Your Take/POV

    At my last club, a particular dancer was very cold to me b/c she claimed I kept cutthroating her. I was new & didn't know who were regulars of which customers. Sweetheart, it is not my job to keep a constant eye on who you're sitting w/ - if the guy is alone & I didn't know a girl was sitting w/ him, then I consider him fair game. She was at least professional enough not to lose her shit in front of customers, altho she threatened me over it in the DR. Once I made it clear that I hadn't known he was her customer, we went back to our usual unspoken agreement to avoid each other at work.

    I once had a customer stop me as I walked past another girl's stage. He'd seen me onstage earlier & decided he wanted a dance right then. Off we went, & the other girl was livid. She wasn't passive-aggressive like the previous girl I described, she was the type who went looking for trouble. We got into it over that guy in the DR later.

    I've had girls deliberately cutthroat me, & one girl swung at me when I called her on it. I don't ever try to steal customers, & I will stand up for myself when it happens to me, least of all b/c that kind of childish unprofessionalism just pisses me the fuck off.

    Agreed strongly w/ the idea that problem dancers, like problem customers, need to be dealt w/ firmly. I'm a persistent hustler, but honestly I'd rather hear a polite "No thnx/not interested/you're not my type" to being jerked around by a customer; I'd also appreciate a customer who's firm enough not to put up w/ an unwanted dancer's badgering or cutthroating behaviour while I'm trying to entertain him.

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