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Thread: What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

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    Featured Member jasmine22's Avatar
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    Angry What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

    The other night my manager tried to kiss me. The dj follows me around like a puppy, and another has been texting me trying to hang out. Every club I go to this happens I'm tired of it. I just want to make $ and leave. I'm trying to be nice about it but I'm losing my patience what's the best way to deal with these guys?

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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

    Don't blow up. I understand it is frustrating, but the next time shit like this happens, take a deep breath and look the harasser in the eye. Calmly, sternly say that they are making you uncomfortable and they need to STOP. Pause for a second and say "Please Stop". Keep it professional and then walk away. They needn't reply. Just make sure the message gets through.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Featured Member Brandi_Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

    Yuck! What kind of club is this -wow, I'm shocked that they're so unprofessional. How did the other get your number, just out of curiosity -how did the one get your number? I would not give my number out to any more staff in the future since they're gonna be so unprofessional (makes things easier from the beginning). As for the one that is constantly texting you already, just tell him that your prefer to keep business professional & that you always just like to keep your two lives separate. Nothing you can really do about the puppy dog dj if he's not stepping out of line in any other way other than to ignore him. As for the manager that tried to kiss you -I'd keep my distance & my guard up. Is there another manager that you can say something to if the guy tries a 2nd or 3rd offense?

    Now as for this happening at all the clubs you've worked at -what area are you in that this keeps happening? Can you go to a dif area or a better city? The one common denominator here between these dif clubs is you -is it possible that some of your actions are being misconstrued or...?
    "You're better than no one and no one is better than you."
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    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

    What area do you work in, if you don't mind me asking?

    Also, how is your general demeanor toward the club staff? The fact that one of the DJs even has your number to text you tips me off that you might be getting a little too friendly with them (assuming you gave him that number and he didn't just get it off your paperwork or something). There's a difference between being "friendly" in a professional sense - saying hello when you walk in, not causing drama, giving proper tips - and being too friendly - like giving out phone numbers or talking excessively during or outside of shifts. Honestly, the only girls I've seen have consistent issues with inappropriate attention from male staff are the girls who are a little too friendly - the ones who pal around with the managers, give out their numbers, spend a lot of time in the DJ booth; I've even seen girls accept money from the managers on nights that were slow and give lapdances to the bouncers and bartenders, which is something I just think I could never do. These male staff, while I'm cordial to them, I still consider to be my coworkers - and in the SC, my coworkers are coworkers, not friends. People who work in the club do not even get to know my real first name, let alone know any of my personal problems or get to touch me in the ways that customers do.

    I have no idea how your conduct is in these clubs, of course. I'm just trying to speculate as to a possible reason. Of course there are power-tripping managers, and douchey, persistent guys galore in strip club jobs. But if this happens at at "every club you go to," part of it might have to be that you are simply too accommodating. There's nothing wrong with being more "friendly" than "bitchy, aloof stripper," but I feel like there should always be a professional wall.

    As far as your current club goes, tell these staff that they are making you uncomfortable. That you are trying to work and they are acting unprofessionally. Also, ignore the texts from that guy that can't take a hint, and tell him next time you see him that you don't think it's good for you guys to mingle outside of work. Set your boundaries and stick to them.

    I'm sorry you're going through this. Staff can really make your job/life hell in clubs where they, for some reason, have beef with you, so if they get all pissy and start making you miserable when you set appropriate boundaries, I'd say switch clubs again and start new with not getting close to staff as much as possible.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Also, how is your general demeanor toward the club staff? The fact that one of the DJs even has your number to text you tips me off that you might be getting a little too friendly with them (assuming you gave him that number and he didn't just get it off your paperwork or something). There's a difference between being "friendly" in a professional sense - saying hello when you walk in, not causing drama, giving proper tips - and being too friendly - like giving out phone numbers or talking excessively during or outside of shifts.
    This was going to be my reply. The line between friendly and "friendly" really is incredibly fine in the club, and it can be hard to navigate not being a bitch with not having this happen everywhere you go.

    You have to be firm and serious. Manager tries to kiss you? Move away and tell him not to do it again. DJ follows you around? Stop and tell him that he needs to leave you alone because you're trying to work. DJ keeps texting you? Stop giving out your number and reply that you're not interested. Honestly, just be dead-pan - don't smile or have a wishy-washy response or else you're just giving off signs that you don't actually mind. You may not be meaning to send them out, but that's how it's being perceived.

    If you really just want to go to the club, make your money and leave, do that. Show up ready to go, interact with staff the bare minimum (being polite but brief), and focus on the customers.

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    Featured Member jasmine22's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

    Ok I didn't give these people my number, when we sign in we have to put our name and number down on a sheet of paper. These people got my number off of that bc I sure didnt give it to them. Also I work in Cleveland. When this first started they would just text me to ask me to come into work, unfortunately other clubs tend to do this like when u put ur number down on the application. But this place has crossed the line so I'm really gonna have to stand my ground. If this gets worse i will update.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

    Ugh it'll sounds gross sorry you gotta deal w/that..never have I had that happen really. Hopefully it'll die down or you can change clubs


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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

    Quote Originally Posted by jasmine22 View Post
    Ok I didn't give these people my number, when we sign in we have to put our name and number down on a sheet of paper.
    Frustrating! Can you put down a fake number? I know it doesn't help since they already have your number, but it might help get rid of potential new texters. As for those that have your number, just point-blank tell them you are not interested and to stop texting you - then ignore and delete.

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

    ick, can you tell the owner? or a higher-up of some sort?? other than that, i'd tell them quit firmly to stop or change clubs

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    Default Re: What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

    Wow. Can you get a google voice number? It won't stop the problem of them initially trying to contact you, but at least you can block certain numbers easily. Or tell them that texting is expensive for you so you don't use text, and then set their number so they automatically go to voicemail without your phone ringing and bothering you if they try to call. That is wildly unprofessional for them to go into your paperwork and get your phone number to text you like that when it has nothing to do with work. What a breach of privacy!
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Default Re: What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

    Keep talking about being itchy and that you need testing... just never be specific about anything. Seriously though, unprofessional. Find a new club and if you can't, see plan A.

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    Default Re: What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

    If I were you, I'd drop hints / bombs that you have a boyfriend (even if you don't) and that you wish you could just come in, make money, and leave. Talk about how the girls keep asking you to hang out, but you have a rule against hanging out with anyone from the club - you're really just there to work.

    It's a fine line to walk because they're people you work with, so you don't want to anger them (but you want to get your point across). So I'd become that mildly annoying girl who relates everything back to her boyfriend or about working. And then make yourself very busy, of course - too busy to talk to them.

    If their behavior continues, I'd just change clubs. It sounds like a tiny, incestuous dive club where everyone is sleeping with everyone else.

    I'm totally with you on the whole "in-makemoney-out" mentality. I'd love to work in a huge club someday where no one recognizes anyone else. I want to be invisible to everyone but the customers!

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    Default Re: What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

    Also, being "nice about it" is completely futile when it comes to SC crushes.

    Picture a puppy who wants to lick your face - if you shove it away nicely, what does the puppy do? It doesn't understand the shove. It only hears your nice voice and feels your touch. The puppy comes back for more lovin'! Maybe if it tries harder, you'll give it even more attention?

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    Featured Member Brandi_Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the best way to deal w club staff harassing you?

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    Frustrating! Can you put down a fake number? I know it doesn't help since they already have your number, but it might help get rid of potential new texters. As for those that have your number, just point-blank tell them you are not interested and to stop texting you - then ignore and delete.
    She could always change her number to a new number, then sign in w/ the old number & not tell anyone that she's changed it at all, perhaps. How wwill they ever be the wiser../
    "You're better than no one and no one is better than you."
    -- Bob Dylan

    “There's never going to be a great misunderstanding of me. I think I'm a little whacked.”


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