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Thread: Rethinking why I don't dance as often....

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    Default Rethinking why I don't dance as often....

    So I've been dancing on and off again for about 5 years from senior year in high school until now after I've graduated college with two degrees. It's hard interviewing for low paying jobs to get my foot in the door when I know if I go work in a club I can make what I make in a week or a month ( depending on the night) in one freaking night. I always thought that I'd be done dancing by 21, now reaching my 24th birthday I feel really confused about thinking of getting back into stripping seriously. I do however feel that if I don't take action now I'm just going to get old and miss out on the opportunity. I enjoy the job and find the hustle and sales portion of it so intriguing. The flexibility is great as well. I've been dancing for about three-six weeks out of the year and find that when I'm not dancing I'm thinking about it and trying to figure out where my next strip trip should be...

    Has anyone else ever gone through this? Anyone else still dancing with degrees in high paying majors?

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    Default Re: Rethinking why I don't dance as often....

    My major wasn't an in-demand subject, but I'm going through the same right now. I've applied to so many jobs that would allow me to use my degree because I thought it was the stable/normal thing to do after graduating, and it has largely been fruitless. It is difficult to make the decision to work 40 hours a week (or more without overtime depending on how abusive the company is) in a low-paying position, especially when most positions would require me to commute 3-4 hours/day total five days a week because of how awful Houston traffic is. My true ambitions lie in a creative field, and though you can make money in it, it can take some time. So, here I am, having a little personal breakdown, walking around my apartment in platforms, half-ass stretching, trying to decide if I want to give up on the "real" job search and just strip up to 4x/week and try my skills in my chosen field. I have no real advice for you, but you're not alone. Cheers.

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    Default Re: Rethinking why I don't dance as often....

    I have a degree or two under my belt, and I ignore them to work in the sex industry. However - I also write, and intend to phase out the sex work entirely by the time that I am 40. Ish. (I always think of leaving and it makes me so sad!!!)

    I think that if you have only been stripping for shorter periods, it would be much harder to make a decision - it's hard to know if you would have the same love for the job doing it full time, all the time.

    If I were you, I would ask myself where I want to be when I am 40/50/60/70. Stripping definitely has a shelf life - would you dance until 30 (which seems to be a standard sort of retirement age for dancers, although I know women dancing into their 40s, and camming into their 50s), and then try to switch to your studied field? What would it take to keep updated for the next 15 years so that you are still employable? How would you explain the resume gap?

    Or are you thinking of hitting it HARD until, say, 35/40 (10-15 years is a long time to work full time as a dancer!) and save enough to retire on, and never work again? If that's the case, what would you have to earn? How would you save? Do you have the kind of personality that would allow you to earn huge amounts of cash, and still save enough for an early retirement?

    Could you do both concurrently? Is your field something that would prohibit you dancing (medical, education, government, etc) or could you easily work a couple nights for spending money and to scratch the itch while building a career in your chosen field?

    It's easy to think of how you will make more money in the short term, so it seems like a no brainer. That is why I suggest looking at the long term - how you want your life to pan out. No point earning slightly more for less work if you will burn out in five years and then find your degree out of date and unusable!!

    Personally, I took a long look at what I was doing, and realized that I didn't really want to work in either field I studied - both involve long hours, 9-5 style (more like 7-6 these days!!), limitations on travel, time off, and personal style (one more than the other!)...and I realized that I just don't WANT to be working in a suit, even a really nice suit, and getting up and working 50 hours a week until I am 60. I want to work where I can be creative, and sleep in, and work with finger tattoos and purple hair and keep my lip ring in until I die. I want to work in pjs, or undies, and I am happy to sacrifice routine and guaranteed salary for those things. So I work in the sex industry and I write - and I get to do all those things, and keep doing them as long as I want, wherever I want. Worth it for me by far - you just need to figure out if it is worth it for you, or whether you would end up craving stability at 30 - wishing that you had built a career and were advancing and earning great money at that point in the corporate world.
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    Default Re: Rethinking why I don't dance as often....

    Quote Originally Posted by ManyRoses View Post

    Personally, I took a long look at what I was doing, and realized that I didn't really want to work in either field I studied - both involve long hours, 9-5 style (more like 7-6 these days!!), limitations on travel, time off, and personal style (one more than the other!)...and I realized that I just don't WANT to be working in a suit, even a really nice suit, and getting up and working 50 hours a week until I am 60. I want to work where I can be creative, and sleep in, and work with finger tattoos and purple hair and keep my lip ring in until I die. I want to work in pjs, or undies, and I am happy to sacrifice routine and guaranteed salary for those things. So I work in the sex industry and I write - and I get to do all those things, and keep doing them as long as I want, wherever I want. Worth it for me by far - you just need to figure out if it is worth it for you, or whether you would end up craving stability at 30 - wishing that you had built a career and were advancing and earning great money at that point in the corporate world.
    You put into words precisely what I want to be brave enough to embrace in myself. I always thought I was brave enough to be this person, and now I'm here, with every opportunity and reason, and even enough talent on days I'm not being too hard on myself to admit it, to reject the 9-5 (which you're right--it's definitely now closer to 7-6) corporate lifestyle for one that allows me to become a better, successful writer, and I'm totally bitching out. I know it's that whole deep-seated fear of failure eating at me and it's understandable or whatever, but I'm totally disappointed in myself.

    /threadjack

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    Default Re: Rethinking why I don't dance as often....

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    You put into words precisely what I want to be brave enough to embrace in myself. I always thought I was brave enough to be this person, and now I'm here, with every opportunity and reason, and even enough talent on days I'm not being too hard on myself to admit it, to reject the 9-5 (which you're right--it's definitely now closer to 7-6) corporate lifestyle for one that allows me to become a better, successful writer, and I'm totally bitching out. I know it's that whole deep-seated fear of failure eating at me and it's understandable or whatever, but I'm totally disappointed in myself.

    /threadjack
    Warning: Threadjack Ahead!!

    Don't be disappointed in yourself!!! Wake up and be fucking PROUD that you have more balls than most - that you are taking the chance on your skill and your talent. You are whatever you think you are - if you think that you are this brave, talented person, you are. And if you think that you are a failure and a disappointment, you are that. Chin up, back straight, tits out, honey. You can succeed!

    Ok. Motivational speaker Scarlett is going back in her box now!!!
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    Default Re: Rethinking why I don't dance as often....

    Just wanted to add in- you dont need to stress about ageing yet. (Atleast cross one thing off your list!) I didnt start till 25 & i just turned 28. My main goal is to get a house, since owning is going to end up a lot cheaper than renting ill be able to get by on my less lucrative but more passionate/artistic job.
    Youve got options babe! Cross what you can off your stress list. Also consider making a literal list..of pros & cons to decide what you really want.

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    Default Re: Rethinking why I don't dance as often....

    Thanks for all the helpful replies everyone! I currently work as a bookkeeper and I'm just finding the work boring and not very rewarding. I don't think i would give up having a day job while dancing because even when I started I always had a second job and school as well. I know this job can take a toll on a lot of girls and I wouldn't want to get stuck with it has my only option due to a gap in my resume. I also find that working other jobs and stripping less has actually helped me make a lot more money when I do make trips. I guess what I was looking for on this board was to see how many other girls have been through my situation and how they handled it. Also to find encouragement to get back into it because I have always seen an end date and would never fathom dancing after getting a degree. Maybe I should hang my diploma in the VIP room Who knows...

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    Default Re: Rethinking why I don't dance as often....

    ^^^ I honestly think that this happens to a lot of dancers. I know few women who entered the industry honestly thinking "OK, this is my career, here is my savings plan, this is what is going to happen and what I will do for the rest of my life until I retire early and live in Mexico." I'm sure these girls do exist, but they are few and far between. Most women that I have met (and myself) sort of...fall into stripping. And with that comes having an end date in mind. Whether it is just "to save for x purchase", "to put myself through school" or "until I get a "real" job" - most women start out with a clear finish line. I've seen many girls just hit that goal and then stop, but I have seen many more (again, myself included) decide that we just love the job, and keep going.

    Personally, I started for fun money on the side. I just intended to do it until I got bored. Then I quit my day job, and decided that I would dance to fund some travelling. Then I was going to dance until I hit 25. Then it became 30. Now I'm nearly at that milestone, and no where near done with stripping.

    So don't stress too much if things don't go according to the first plan you ever made - shit happens. Things change. Change along with them - as long as you are happy - and don't beat yourself up because you are waving at that quitting-date as it passes you by.

    It sounds to me like you want to keep doing your bookkeeping, and dance on the side. So do that. You may want to double check that the certification requirements don't include the kind of background check that could make a history of dancing a problem - but as long as that is all clear - why not? Heck - if you want to dance, dance! Just go on trips, to scratch the itch, or just dance one night a week - and if you have another job, then you can quit again whenever you like.
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    Default Re: Rethinking why I don't dance as often....

    As ManyRoses mentioned, there is a HUGE difference between moonlighting as a dancer (where you have a stable job and then work occasionally as a dancer to supplement your income) and doing it full-time.

    I had been planning on using the next year to dance full-time since I too was sick of the 9-5 job world and because I'm waiting to become a resident (to go back to school). Anyway, it turns out I am NOT cut out for doing this full-time. I need more diversity in my life than that. I suspect I'm also chronically burned out. I worked 2-3x/week for my first four years of dancing and then took a couple of years off. But I can only handle the environment for a couple of shifts a month these days.

    I feel you on the $$$ situation for SURE. The money is obviously extremely addicting. You get "paid" instantly when you dance, and there is no division between actions & rewards. Instant gratification. Moonlighting seems to be the best of both worlds. Get a part-time job at a grocery store or something stable, and then dance a few nights a week to supplement.

    Just make sure that if you decide to take the dive into full-time dancing, you have a cover story for your resume (if you plan on returning to the straight world later). And make sure you're doing other things aside from dancing: volunteer, take a couple of classes at a local community college, take night classes to get a massage license or even a business degree, get a library card and read one book a week...diversify your life, and use dancing to further yourself. Don't fall into a "treading water" situation where your cost of living skyrockets from stripper money that you won't be able to make later on. Max out your Roth IRA, have an emergency fund...all that good stuff.

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