Results 1 to 22 of 22

Thread: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Seatortuga's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    201
    Thanks
    95
    Thanked 493 Times in 204 Posts

    Default :)

    deleted
    Last edited by Seatortuga; 12-08-2016 at 11:02 AM.

  2. #2
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,881
    Thanks
    3,026
    Thanked 3,426 Times in 1,229 Posts

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    My brother and his wife are kind of like this. She has major health issues that have caused her to be pretty big, and she is very resentful. She recently had a gastric band surgery, so hopefully that will help, but their relationship has become really fucked up because of how she feels about body size. My brother lost quite a bit of weight because he has Grave's disease (hyperthyroidism) and it was only recently diagnosed. He had been working out because his GP told him he was in bad health during a checkup, and my brother is a very devoted father and wanted to be around for his kids. He dropped down several sizes before being diagnosed, but even on meds, he is still very thin. His wife berates him daily over it. She accused him of working out in order to attract other women, and she's just downright nasty to him. Their ten-year-old told me that "Mommy is really mean to daddy. I think he just doesn't say anything back to her because he loves us." It's so sad.

    I'm all for people caring about others beyond appearances, but I'm not sure I agree with the majority of body acceptance campaigns. They usually just direct hate in the opposite direction, with the "real women have curves" vs. pro-ana bits and whatnot. I don't think being massively underweight is healthy, but neither is being overweight. I guess that I'd just prefer that instead of trying to teach people that all body sizes are beautiful or whatever, we should instead invest resources in teaching dietary needs, enforcing normal exercise habits, etc. Beauty is always going to be subjective, but health is pretty quantifiable.

  3. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to tuesdaymarie For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    My brother and his wife are kind of like this. She has major health issues that have caused her to be pretty big, and she is very resentful. She recently had a gastric band surgery, so hopefully that will help, but their relationship has become really fucked up because of how she feels about body size. My brother lost quite a bit of weight because he has Grave's disease (hyperthyroidism) and it was only recently diagnosed. He had been working out because his GP told him he was in bad health during a checkup, and my brother is a very devoted father and wanted to be around for his kids. He dropped down several sizes before being diagnosed, but even on meds, he is still very thin. His wife berates him daily over it. She accused him of working out in order to attract other women, and she's just downright nasty to him. Their ten-year-old told me that "Mommy is really mean to daddy. I think he just doesn't say anything back to her because he loves us." It's so sad.

    I'm all for people caring about others beyond appearances, but I'm not sure I agree with the majority of body acceptance campaigns. They usually just direct hate in the opposite direction, with the "real women have curves" vs. pro-ana bits and whatnot. I don't think being massively underweight is healthy, but neither is being overweight. I guess that I'd just prefer that instead of trying to teach people that all body sizes are beautiful or whatever, we should instead invest resources in teaching dietary needs, enforcing normal exercise habits, etc. Beauty is always going to be subjective, but health is pretty quantifiable.
    This whole campaign along with making it so obese is acceptable is going too far. I'm all for people being different sizes and not all of us were meant to be thin but to me in most cases there isn't a reason to be obese. I get so mad when obviously obese women say they have curves, or are curvy or have real figures or the other things they say because those terms used to mean women with amazing figures who were neither thin nor obese, NOT very overweight women.

    I dare say it but my brother is thin and his wife is obese. She is obese really because she is lazy and sits around all day. I have a friend who is also obese because she is lazy. I know some truly have a disease (I knew someone like this who was a varsity swimmer and good but obese due to thyroid)but for most this isn't the case. I get a lot of flack because I will not date obese men but our lifestyles wouldn't match. Slightly chubby is fine but not obese).

  5. #4
    Banned
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Aboard The Spaceship
    Posts
    4,787
    Thanks
    3,183
    Thanked 10,142 Times in 3,290 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    This is fucking dumb because BBW is a fetish. Skinny guys can like BBWs, and be more attracted to BBWs because that would be their fetish...

  6. #5
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,429
    Thanks
    19,845
    Thanked 18,506 Times in 4,919 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    My brother and his wife are kind of like this. She has major health issues that have caused her to be pretty big, and she is very resentful. She recently had a gastric band surgery, so hopefully that will help, but their relationship has become really fucked up because of how she feels about body size. My brother lost quite a bit of weight because he has Grave's disease (hyperthyroidism) and it was only recently diagnosed. He had been working out because his GP told him he was in bad health during a checkup, and my brother is a very devoted father and wanted to be around for his kids. He dropped down several sizes before being diagnosed, but even on meds, he is still very thin. His wife berates him daily over it. She accused him of working out in order to attract other women, and she's just downright nasty to him. Their ten-year-old told me that "Mommy is really mean to daddy. I think he just doesn't say anything back to her because he loves us." It's so sad.
    That's sad.

    At least the article is about a happy couple where the girl doesn't care that he's skinny and he doesn't care that she's bigger. It even says that he generally has gone for chubby girls in the past, so I guess that's his thing.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Aurora_Sunset For This Useful Post:


  8. #6
    Featured Member Brandi_Lynn's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Your grandma's underwear drawer
    Posts
    1,087
    Thanks
    1,088
    Thanked 874 Times in 419 Posts
    My Mood
    Twisted

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    Quote Originally Posted by joyluckstripclub View Post
    Lots of blimps these days. I don't go to regular night club any more because nearly all the women there are like that. It just makes to want to go to strip clubs and spend money on fit dancers that much more.
    This is a really cruel comment. What's wrong w/ you
    "You're better than no one and no one is better than you."
    -- Bob Dylan

    “There's never going to be a great misunderstanding of me. I think I'm a little whacked.”


  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Brandi_Lynn For This Useful Post:


  10. #7
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    I'd be curious to see what he considers a blimp. I know when I did online dating most of the fat men called themselves "muscular" or "athletic" or "average". When I say obese I am talking people who truly are obese, not people on the chubby scale. I've had men tell me when I was a size 6 I was fat so a lot of men really are delusional about sizes and what is considered fat versus what really is.

  11. #8
    Featured Member Brandi_Lynn's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Your grandma's underwear drawer
    Posts
    1,087
    Thanks
    1,088
    Thanked 874 Times in 419 Posts
    My Mood
    Twisted

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    I'm always disappointed it seems w/ this forum's attitude when it comes to other's weight issues. I love stripperweb in every other way, but this issue for this site has continually left a bad taste in my mouth. I'm amazed by people that can't just live & let live for something that has no effect on them personally.

    I'll be stepping out of this thread now before more fat bashing ensues
    "You're better than no one and no one is better than you."
    -- Bob Dylan

    “There's never going to be a great misunderstanding of me. I think I'm a little whacked.”


  12. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Brandi_Lynn For This Useful Post:


  13. #9
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    I think part of it is this industry is really looks based and we all know generally skinnier girls make more money. Not always true but more often than not. Even though I am not fat I did get rejected quite a few times for being overweight though I wasn't. I remember working at another club and telling a dancer I was rejected and she said I was so tiny and she would have loved to have been as thin as me. I likely wouldn't state my current dress size because even though it's below the average woman's size, it is bigger than most dancers are (and larger than my dancing size).

    I do worry about the obesity epidemic though for a few reasons, such as cost of healthcare. I don't worry about what people like and dislike. In fact awhile back I was watching a show with an overweight bride and remember thinking it was cool she found someone. There is a bridal shop about an hour from me that specializes in plus size brides so this means yes many men marry overweight women.

  14. #10
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,881
    Thanks
    3,026
    Thanked 3,426 Times in 1,229 Posts

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    That's sad.

    At least the article is about a happy couple where the girl doesn't care that he's skinny and he doesn't care that she's bigger. It even says that he generally has gone for chubby girls in the past, so I guess that's his thing.
    Yeah, I meant that the size difference was similar and that people, particularly when they were younger, wondered why they were together. They've been together since they were teenagers (since '93, I think), since before the wife's worst health issues caused a lot of weight gain, and my brother is an extremely loyal husband, so I don't think it ever mattered to him. However, his wife has always been aware of the weight difference, and the strain of how others see them/how she sees herself has turned their relationship upside down, particularly since his weight loss. My brother wasn't ever exceptionally big before, but his diet was bad and his doctor said if he didn't eat better and get some activity in, he'd be looking at heart problems sometime in the next decade. Basically, it wasn't even the weight difference that doomed their relationship, but the opinions of other people eating away at his wife's self-esteem. I remember we (his wife and I) once ran into this woman who supposedly used to be infatuated with my brother while we were in the mall. When she walked off after saying hi, all my SIL could focus on was how the woman was probably inwardly laughing that she stayed thin and my brother married "a cow." It was very sad to see how much her world revolved around her weight and how she thought people viewed her.

    My bio sister recently lost quite a bit of weight (through unhealthy means), and all anyone can say to her is how thin/tiny she has become. Honestly, there was less fuss when she got her JD. The whole thing has kind of turned her head. She seriously asked me the other day how many calories are in a tomato because she didn't know if she should get them in her dry salad, the only meal she planned to eat that day. I think it's great that she has started exercising and is getting the body she has always wanted, but it was very eye-opening to see just how much her weight always bothered her, and how other people changed the way they behaved towards her once the weight came off.

  15. #11
    Banned
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Aboard The Spaceship
    Posts
    4,787
    Thanks
    3,183
    Thanked 10,142 Times in 3,290 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    I think part of it is this industry is really looks based and we all know generally skinnier girls make more money.
    That only applies to stripping. Not really to camming, porn, or escorting. And typically only because the hiring managers in upscale clubs (where businessmen typically go) are stricter about that. But that's also because they prefer the runway model look anyway.

  16. #12
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    I don't know much about camming but the girls I knew who did upscale escorting were also runway types as well. Even porn it seems most of the higher end stuff has thinner girls. Of course there is variable as one gets down the scale but it pertains to dancing as well because the lower end clubs are less pickier.

  17. #13
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Hamburg, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    10,607
    Thanks
    2,705
    Thanked 13,685 Times in 4,414 Posts
    Blog Entries
    5
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    I lost weight and toned up, but I can guarantee that I'll still get rejected somewhere. If not for my weight, then skin color, tattoos etc.


    As to the article not my cup o'tea, but if they're happy, hey...live and let live.

  18. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to tempest666 For This Useful Post:


  19. #14
    Banned
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Aboard The Spaceship
    Posts
    4,787
    Thanks
    3,183
    Thanked 10,142 Times in 3,290 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    I don't know much about camming but the girls I knew who did upscale escorting were also runway types as well. Even porn it seems most of the higher end stuff has thinner girls. Of course there is variable as one gets down the scale but it pertains to dancing as well because the lower end clubs are less pickier.
    It depends what you call "thin" and what the demographic is. Probably half of all top pornstars (if not more!) are A and B cups and even more are without implants. Other successful girls are "thick" or bigger, and are still really, really popular in porn. A lot of BBW sites have come out in the last few years too, and that sector is booming. Fetish too. And femdom. Kink.com is still growing to this day! Adding new sectors. Its not the porn scene of the 90s anymore. Just look at the Spiegler Girls or LA Direct rosters right now. All of the thin barbie types with fakey implants are the girls who have already been around for lie 6-10 years in porn now, which is probably the main reason why they personally still get work (they're established).

    Industries grow tired of the same look after while, and trends even change. With dancing, the whole scene has just become flooded, so in order to maximize profit still, they HAVE to have certain standards. They can't just hire all 500 girls who want to work at that 1 small club. With porn, they CAN hire all 500 girls who want to work for 1 company that year, and that actually benefits them because they are new faces. And porn consumers are typically all ages. Dancing customers tend to be older and prefer the outdated blonde hair, super thin, big fake tits looks. Club hiring managers too. And camming of course, will also take anyone and that is also a benefit for them.

    The good thing about dancing is, majority of money is no longer in top tier clubs because everyone assumes top tier clubs are where all the money is, so they are flooded. At least that has been my experience.

  20. #15
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    The thing is BBW is something only a small percentage of the male population really likes. While many men like thicker women like say Beyonce, very few are into someone with the body type of Rosie O'Donnell. However I suspect the reason there are more larger women in porn now is because people are getting fatter and there aren't as many skinny women probably as there once was. Personally I think the hottest look for women is slightly muscled instead of being too thin or too heavy.

  21. #16
    Featured Member pinkpvc's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,012
    Thanks
    130
    Thanked 252 Times in 117 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    Big deal indeed. I'm bigger than my bf though I wouldn't class myelf as a bbw. I've never had trouble attracting boyfriends and even working in a SC albeit a little lighter than I am now. The truth is women are getting bigger in developed countries, are mens tastes changing too? Probably

  22. #17
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    No, it's because men are getting fat too and most men realize fat men will likely attract fat women. Of course some men still think they can attract thinner women and many are alone.

  23. #18
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,698
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked 4,248 Times in 1,017 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    @joyluckstripclub...I am pretty sure you resemble Brad Pitt yourself.

  24. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to JoJoX For This Useful Post:


  25. #19
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,881
    Thanks
    3,026
    Thanked 3,426 Times in 1,229 Posts

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    @pinkpvc: Christina Hendricks is definitely bigger than what many girls would say they'd like to be, yet she is often cited as having the ideal body shape by polled men. I think she's fucking gorgeous. Becoming the face of Johnnie Walker sealed the deal for my eternal girl crush.

  26. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to tuesdaymarie For This Useful Post:


  27. #20
    God/dess simone87's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2012
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    5,171
    Thanks
    7,361
    Thanked 9,469 Times in 3,228 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    No, it's because men are getting fat too and most men realize fat men will likely attract fat women. Of course some men still think they can attract thinner women and many are alone.
    also, whatever is more rare is seen as more desirable and in-style. in times when everyone was starving the plumb, cherubic, soft look was in..and now that most people are overweight, thin is in. its always been what's rare that is seen as the epitome of beauty. being skinny myself, i really have come across a lot of skinny hate so i would never hate on a bigger woman. im very health conscious, but your body type doesn't determine your worth as a person.

  28. #21
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Hamburg, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    10,607
    Thanks
    2,705
    Thanked 13,685 Times in 4,414 Posts
    Blog Entries
    5
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    "Thin is in" "Celebrate your curves" "Real women have curves" "Men want meat, only dogs go for bones" "1 in 3 adults in America is overweight or obese"




    Which is it???

    http://www.rxmuscle.com/rx-girl-arti...eal-women.html

    The woman who wrote this article used to be overweight like me. (there I said it: I was overweight)
    Last edited by tempest666; 06-20-2013 at 02:12 AM.

  29. #22
    Featured Member MissSassyPickles's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2012
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    1,233
    Thanks
    1,664
    Thanked 2,518 Times in 767 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: I'm overweight and my boyfriend is not

    I got more attention from men when I was thicker.
    Quote Originally Posted by qurl View Post
    You are sassy AND smart Miss Pickles.

    "Well behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

  30. The Following User Says Thank You to MissSassyPickles For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. My Overweight Boyfriend is Killing Our Sex Life!
    By HELPINSANDIEGO in forum Life Support
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 03-13-2013, 02:41 PM
  2. My 7 year old is overweight.. help!
    By kaiarose in forum Life Support
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 05-21-2012, 05:04 PM
  3. Doing B/G with an overweight guy
    By FiendishGyrator in forum Camming Connection
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 09-22-2011, 11:46 AM
  4. Dating someone who is Overweight/Obese
    By JennaX in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 06-15-2011, 04:20 PM
  5. Overweight strippers...
    By Aria711 in forum Body Business
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 04-17-2011, 03:12 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •