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Thread: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

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    Post Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    I'm 26 and had two relationships. I never got into the dating scene, pretty much just talked to girls I found attractive and nothing much materialized from that besides a platonic friendship. Anyways a couple months back, I was really wanting to be in a relationship, to have a girl I could count on and look forward to spending my days with. Fast forward to the current, and while I am no longer actively seeking a girl...I don't mind flying solo either. I could go either way but I am leaning towards being single. I had my heart broken once, and that was just tough as I am sure most of us have had that happen. The feeling of not wanting to eat, sleep, breathe, etc.

    I am thinking if I stay solo, I will be stronger in the end because there is no girl to lose (whether that be via accidental death, sickness, or simply she breaks it off) and by not having that someone...that is one less thing to hurt/hinder me emotionally in a bad situation. If I just keep the best friend I have (I literally have 3 friends now...never had much friends to begin with), live a meaning full life, decent career, etc I can be content. But that is me.

    How do you feel about the matter? Do you need/want somebody? Or can you go solo? Whats up?

    P.S. I do however know that I will get old...and growing old and alone might be something that would be hard for me and by then I would be wishing I had someone.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    i'm fine being single, in fact im probably happier lol. you should never be dependent on having a gf/bf or feel you aren't good enough on your own. you need to be find with being single and love yourself before you can make a healthy relationship work. now most people find somebody they are compatible with and they love by the end of their life, and some don't! there is no right or wrong..except just wanting a partner for the sake of wanting one. that just wreaks of desperation. but you are what, 26?? that is super young still to be planning the rest of your life..don't worry so much

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Being with someone is good, but it shouldn't define who you are. I am in a relationship now, but have been single for years before and it certainly has it's perks.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Aren't you a little young to decide that you're going to be single for the rest of your life? From what I've seen, people who actively seek love or spend their days thinking "I want a girlfriend/boyfriend soooo bad" never find what they're looking for. Usually when you give up on finding something or just stop thinking about finding it so much, it lands in your lap. Don't stress it so much, just do your thing and let shit work itself out. I see people feeling sorry for themselves all the time because they're alone, but that is just the wrong way to think and not a good starting point for a healthy relationship.
    Last edited by Renton; 09-20-2013 at 03:03 AM.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    While I'm more than a bit older than 26, after a messy divorce and a handful of dicey relationships, I can sum up my future relationship plans in one word ....

    NEXT !!!

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    oh, also:


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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    You know everyone seeks to find love and all but not everyone is meant to find it, and not everyone will... I accept this and Im happy being single plus as someone else mentioned I want a mate that is close to perfection if not that and if I cant have that im completely fine being by myself

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Depends on how big his bank account or his dick is.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    when you find the "right" guy - go for it!! You can plan being single any more than saying I am going to be in a long term relationship unless the opportunity presents itself

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    If that's what you want. But if you want to date, you have a big advantage of being a man. You just need to pursue enough girls you like.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    At 26 you have no idea what you are going to want in three or four years much less for the rest of your life.
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    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    There is no point in deciding what you are going to do for the rest of your life. I've found that the happier you are being single the better your relationships get.
    Last edited by Trem; 06-25-2013 at 10:12 AM.
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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    There is no point in deciding what you are going to do for the next of your life. I've found that the happier you are being single the better your relationships get.
    This! Yes

    Exactly what I was going to post but I could not have said it better. If you can't find a way to be happy single you won't likelyy be happy in a relationship. Plus if you are happy you will attract way better partners!


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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Depends on how big his bank account or his dick is.
    Actually, as bad as it sounds. This is what it comes down to. I have had relationships and 'love'. I'm okay with people who do that, and I do crave attention and affection... but I don't really need love to do that. I have a few play partners that I enjoy time with and it's honestly easier to do without love involved. If I did get into another long term relationship, I'd rather it be poly... either that, or the statement above. I'd want someone stable, cuz if I'm going to to decide on one person... I want them to be able to work with me to provide better for my sons in the end. =)
    *Kermit Flail*
    Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Depends on how big his bank account or his dick is.
    OMG I met my TWIN!!!!! HAHA!!! I second this!
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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    This is something I struggle with and depresses me at times. I am 42 and still single. I didn't want to marry in my 20's and avoided men seeking that. In my 30's I started warming to the idea and in my late 30's I really became open to the idea. However, the problem I run into at my age is the men I desire (not obese, never married, no kids, religious, financially secure etc)don't seem to want me or there is nothing there when we meet. However, the men who pursue me are missing one of these key details. Under no circumstances will I date men with kids and when I did online most of the men who contacted me were these men. My profile even stated I don't date dads and they still contacted me. I meet never married childless men but then sometimes they are obese or broke or something else. I probably would consider a broke or overweight men to some extent but they are extremely obese or extremely broke (one guy was a cook at KFC). There is a guy I am interested in and he does fit what I desire for the most part but he's been acting weird lately. I saw him tonight and when we see each other there feels like there is a magnet pulling us together and we both smile when we see each other. However when I ask him when we are going to go out he makes mistakes saying he's busy. A couple weeks ago he talked about taking me out on a date but then he said he has to wait until business slows down. I know he is busy but could also be he's not interested. I'm going to see him this weekend and lay it on the line by telling him I am interested in him but if he can't give me a straight answer I am going to continue searching.

    I truly feel if it doesn't happen between us no one else will come around and I will remain single. Makes me sad but not much I can do. I've never had a problem meeting men but definitely meeting men I liked. However there are great things about being single, like not having to share my salary with someone else.

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    This is all a choice that people make? o_O

    You'll meet someone great or you won't. Life is going to make that "choice" for you, so don't worry about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Good luck Kellydancer, I hope you find what you are looking for and who is best for you.

    tempest666 - I am starting to get the mindset that I must acquire currency to get a female...but if its all about the Benjamins then isn't that female the wrong kind to attract? I can understand a woman wanting her partner to be self sufficient and financially stable (I would want the same for her) but a lot of women these days or I guess its always been the case want men with deep pockets as a prerequisite. I guess that how society will always be...women judged on their looks and men judged on how much money they have...men with money + good looks (the good looks is just a bonus).

    simone87 - You are right about not worrying. My problem is I worry to much...mainly about the future and aging. Thats a whole different story but I like to plan long term but sometimes and most of the time...things never go as we planned it. Nature has a way of taking us down different paths...unexpectedly. Life really is a surprise at times...sometimes for better and sometimes for worse.

    GlamourRouge - What do you mean by that? Is it easier for men? I feel like women have the upperhand...we have to put our pride/ego/guts on the line and they get to either reject us or accept us. Its so much easier to be approached than to do the approaching. The last girlfriend I had approached me (she was flirting with me at the cash register at my local hardware store) but I didnt take much of it because I figured/felt she is a hired gun...a beauty that is meant to be friendly and flirty so the customers (men for the most part) will come back to spend more money in that store. Well when she said "So you gonna ask me for my number or what?" that was the tipping the point...anybody who misses that is seriously clueless. So I asked, she gave, and it was over and out. Our relationship was short lived and I messed it up by joking about some ghost and she took it the wrong way. Eh well lesson learned...not everybody likes dark humor so just feel em out first before even doing that.

    And to those saying I wont know what I want in years time...thinking about it I dont know. Although I do believe love doesn't find you, you have to actively seek it. If I dont have a social life (which I dont have much of right now) how will I get a girl? If I dont approach girls and try to holler...well nothing gained. And the likelihood of a girl approaching me like that last one...is highly unlikely. Guys have to do the approaching...and get shot down in the process. If only there were more forward girls out there...a girl being forward does not lower her value or make her look easy...I don't get why women think it makes em look desperate to make the first move. If that was the case...then all men would be desperate since they are always hollering. I don't care who makes the first move, as long as someone does it. And it would be nice if in the future women would be the one to make the move...any guy I would bet would love that. The playing field is in the woman's favor...it should be = equal.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSheEp3 View Post
    I'm 26 and had two relationships. I never got into the dating scene, pretty much just talked to girls I found attractive and nothing much materialized from that besides a platonic friendship. Anyways a couple months back, I was really wanting to be in a relationship, to have a girl I could count on and look forward to spending my days with. Fast forward to the current, and while I am no longer actively seeking a girl...I don't mind flying solo either. I could go either way but I am leaning towards being single. I had my heart broken once, and that was just tough as I am sure most of us have had that happen. The feeling of not wanting to eat, sleep, breathe, etc.

    I am thinking if I stay solo, I will be stronger in the end because there is no girl to lose (whether that be via accidental death, sickness, or simply she breaks it off) and by not having that someone...that is one less thing to hurt/hinder me emotionally in a bad situation. If I just keep the best friend I have (I literally have 3 friends now...never had much friends to begin with), live a meaning full life, decent career, etc I can be content. But that is me.

    How do you feel about the matter? Do you need/want somebody? Or can you go solo? Whats up?

    P.S. I do however know that I will get old...and growing old and alone might be something that would be hard for me and by then I would be wishing I had someone.
    “Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    I just got out of 2 year relationship, and while the first week was kinda boo-hoo, honestly it only took me that long to get over it. I mean, yes, I was the one who initiated the break-up, but I've been broken up with before too so I know how it goes from both ends. And now, and in the past, I was able to get over relationships much more quickly if I had other plans to focus on. This relationship did not take me long to get over at all, because at this point I was ready to be single. I had things I wanted to do that just didn't coincide with my current relationship, and there were aspects of that relationship that were dragging me down, and I'm honestly fucktons happier in the past month focusing on my own goals without worrying about another person than I was while in the relationship.

    But I don't know if that means that I "like" being single better, or should be single for the rest of the life. It could just be that that relationship wasn't right for me, or not right for my life at the moment. Being single will always be better than being in a wrong relationship. But that doesn't mean it would be better than a right relationship...

    You say that you have to actively seek love, and it won't just find you. I think sometimes that's true and sometimes it's not. Every relationship I've had came about without me thinking to myself that I was gonna find one. You don't have to be an incredibly social person for people to pop up in your life that you're compatible with. Sure, it helps you to meet more people quickly if you are, but you'll still come across people in various places without forcing yourself into situations you aren't comfortable in.

    As far the approaching thing goes - I probably have a track record that's about 50/50 of me doing the approaching vs. the guy doing the approaching. If I like someone, I generally don't pussyfoot around about it. I can be tremendously shy, but for some reason, that's always been something I'm like "pft, whatever" about. I've rejected people, I've been rejected, and yeah it stings in the moment, but my life has gone on and that hasn't killed my self-esteem or ability to come on to other people in the future. I agree it shouldn't matter who does the approaching, but the problem I often see with men who complain "it should be equal" is that what they're really saying is that women should always do it so they don't have to put forth the effort or risk the rejection ever. You can complain about the "ideal" being that it should be equal effort and more women should approach all you want, but that's not going to change anything or make women who are into you magically approach you. If you think that if a girl likes a guy she should approach, and if a guy likes a girl he should approach, then just start with doing your half and approach.

    You can't change part of the female population, and whining about how it isn't fair doesn't change your luck or your life. If you work on getting over your fear of rejection or heartbreak by working on your own life and being happy and confident with yourself, and thinking back to all the times you were heartbroken or got rejected, and hey! Look! You're still here, it wasn't the end of the world, and you've moved on (hopefully), then it won't matter anymore if the sexes are behaving equally and "fairly" in the approaching department, because you'll be too busy just saying "screw it" and going after what you want when you want it.
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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    When I look back on my past relationships I can honestly say yes I would be happy being single for the rest of my life. The last man I was with made me feel like a prisoner so yeah I am loving single life right now and don’t intend to jump into anything anytime soon. What can I say I don’t date anymore I just fuck around now. However that is not to say that if a very wealthy, generous man came along I wouldn’t date him and or marry him. Just being honest.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by RosesForMyLove View Post
    When I look back on my past relationships I can honestly say yes I would be happy being single for the rest of my life. The last man I was with made me feel like a prisoner so yeah I am loving single life right now and don’t intend to jump into anything anytime soon. What can I say I don’t date anymore I just fuck around now. However that is not to say that if a very wealthy, generous man came along I wouldn’t date him and or marry him. Just being honest.
    I like your honesty, it is the best policy.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Well thank you dear. I am being completely honest when I say that. I mean after being in a series (well not that many actually) of bad relationships I just want to be free.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by RosesForMyLove View Post
    Well thank you dear. I am being completely honest when I say that. I mean after being in a series (well not that many actually) of bad relationships I just want to be free.
    Welcome
    And I can relate, not exactly a relationship but a former friendship. I had a friend who was always complaining about his life...how he has been dealt the bad cards. His one and only girlfriend broke his heart (cheated) and left him. And thus he concluded all women were sluts. I was like nah man not all women...just like not all men are pigs. Single out the person not the entire gender. He complained about society and how everyone is selfish, greedy, and just have hidden agendas, etc. I hung on for a bit because I thought my words of encouragement could bring him back to not being so judgmental and harsh. The common ground we had was cars...that was our interest and we would modify our rides, go to meets, etc. In reality he just didnt realize how lucky he was, trust fund baby status with no worries on how to live. Having no financial worries is such a big deal...its one less vital thing to have to be burdened with. And his parents were loving and supportive while he never respected them. Come to realize it now I resent that fool...spoiled rotten bastard. Okay thats getting mean...Ill drop it. If I have nothing nice to say then I wont say anything at all.

    Long story short and getting to the point, having a friend that is so friggin negative all the time is so draining...it just brings you down and cloudens (is that even a word? lol whatever I will use it) your day.

    Well not to long ago he just stopped contacting me and I also deleted him from my facebook and it has been good ever since.

    So RosesForMyLove I know how you feel...I felt like a prisoner as well and like I was married to the dude...shiet that was some wasted time.

    Freedom of choice...we always have a choice.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    I think it is a good idea to take it all day-by-day.

    If there is anything I've learned about life is that it can change in the blink of an eye. Sometimes for the better and sometimes not. You need to learn how bend in times of change so you don't break.

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