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Thread: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

  1. #26
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Depends on how big his bank account or his dick is.
    but a lot of women these days or I guess its always been the case want men with deep pockets as a prerequisite. I guess that how society will always be...women judged on their looks and men judged on how much money they have.

    I'll probably get flamed for pointing this out, but ...

    If a girl in our industry has the talent / work ethic / brains to earn, save and invest her own money ... such that her lifestyle really isn't going to change much if she suddenly has some guy's fat wallet available ... then all that leaves is the dick !!!

    It has been my experience that, sooner or later, a large percentage of guys with fat wallets will try to use their wealth to 'leverage' a relationship. However, if the guy with a million dollars is made to clearly understand that the girl has her own million dollars ... such that the guy's wealth isn't going to buy him s#!t in the way of otherwise undeserved affection ... then the guy's 'true colors' will come out almost immediately. Unfortunately, most of the time those 'true colors' will be dark !!!
    Last edited by Melonie; 06-30-2013 at 04:05 AM.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    It has been my experience that, sooner or later, a large percentage of guys with fat wallets will try to use their wealth to 'leverage' a relationship.
    Exactly. The clubs are filled with dancers who "came back" to dancing after Mr. money bags turned out to be a possessive A-hole. A retired dancer friend of mine spent 2 months of last winter living in a homeless shelter after throwing her clothes in a couple of trash bags and fleeing from the dream house she shared with her "Mr Right" in the middle of the night.

    Ladies, always have your own money...an escape plan isn't a bad idea either...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
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    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
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    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    It has been my experience that, sooner or later, a large percentage of guys with fat wallets will try to use their wealth to 'leverage' a relationship.

    However, if the guy with a million dollars is made to clearly understand that the girl has her own million dollars ... such that the guy's wealth isn't going to buy him s#!t in the way of otherwise undeserved affection ... then the guy's 'true colors' will come out almost immediately. Unfortunately, most of the time those 'true colors' will be dark !!!
    Why is this so fucking true? lol

    A lot of men seem to like LOVE the fact that some women will do anything for money. They get off to it. Its like a lot of wealthy men have some sick obsession with that, and how powerful it makes them feel.

    This is probably why I prefer to date a hard-working middle to upper-middle-class guy over a rich guy. I would take a nice, interesting guy with stability over even a hot as fuck rich guy, any day! The power money gives them usually ends up destroying everything.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    ^ yup right on. i also kinda hate the stereotype " men only care about looks, women only care about money" as if it coudn't be the other way around and men NEVER care about money and women never care about looks! i've had a string of boyfriends who hopped from girl to girl whoever was able to support them. in this economy many men have become golddiggers as well.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    i've had a string of boyfriends who hopped from girl to girl whoever was able to support them. in this economy many men have become golddiggers as well.
    A slew of really bad musician/stripper jokes are running through my head right now...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    Why is this so fucking true? lol

    A lot of men seem to like LOVE the fact that some women will do anything for money. They get off to it. Its like a lot of wealthy men have some sick obsession with that, and how powerful it makes them feel.

    This is probably why I prefer to date a hard-working middle to upper-middle-class guy over a rich guy. I would take a nice, interesting guy with stability over even a hot as fuck rich guy, any day! The power money gives them usually ends up destroying everything.
    If I was wealthy I wouldn't want girl to be with me for my money...but that is probable the case. Unless she has millions of her own...then its probably true love and not money motivated.

    I would just have an obsession with acquiring more money...its never enough.

    I know some rich kids who are nice as peaches....so they are rare but most new money cats are snobby as hell. The old money and people born into riches are usually on point from what I have seen.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    ^ yup right on. i also kinda hate the stereotype " men only care about looks, women only care about money" as if it coudn't be the other way around and men NEVER care about money and women never care about looks! i've had a string of boyfriends who hopped from girl to girl whoever was able to support them. in this economy many men have become golddiggers as well.
    I think both genders care about looks and money equally. You can have one without the other but if you are blessed with good looks and the paper...you got it made granted you at least have a decent personality.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSheEp3 View Post
    I think both genders care about looks and money equally.
    I actually agree with this. The thinking "women date men with money, and men date women are are pretty" is wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too outdated! It was true in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and probably even the 80s, But then something changed.

    Men with money became controlling assholes who assume that most women without money (I'm talking rich status) are golddiggers. They are sooooo guarded about their cash, and women's motivations, but I guess anyone with money kind of has to be.

    A pretty woman no longer means much because ANYONE can be pretty these days with access to hair extensions, makeup, plastic surgery, being able to research fact from fiction (about diets, for example) on the internet, etc. I find that men now really look for someone interesting and savvy, because they could just go to a bar to have sex with a pretty women whenever they want, or pay $300 for a 1 hour session.

    I think men want it ALL (looks, character, and financially stable) and women want it ALL (looks, character, and financially stable) or they won't settle. Or if they do settle, it doesn't last long because both parties aren't equally bringing stuff to the table.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    I actually agree with this. The thinking "women date men with money, and men date women are are pretty" is wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too outdated! It was true in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and probably even the 80s, But then something changed.

    Men with money became controlling assholes who assume that most women without money (I'm talking rich status) are golddiggers. They are sooooo guarded about their cash, and women's motivations, but I guess anyone with money kind of has to be.

    A pretty woman no longer means much because ANYONE can be pretty these days with access to hair extensions, makeup, plastic surgery, being able to research fact from fiction (about diets, for example) on the internet, etc. I find that men now really look for someone interesting and savvy, because they could just go to a bar to have sex with a pretty women whenever they want, or pay $300 for a 1 hour session.

    I think men want it ALL (looks, character, and financially stable) and women want it ALL (looks, character, and financially stable) or they won't settle. Or if they do settle, it doesn't last long because both parties aren't equally bringing stuff to the table.
    I do think if the rich dude is 60 years old and his girlfriend is 25...that is most likely if not a sugar daddy type of relationship. I don't think many women would find a 60 year old man appealing in terms of attractiveness/emotional connection. Now if he is a regular middle class guy....ummm good lucking getting a young hottie. Now if he is loaded, it should not be hard. Pulling up in a red Ferrari and rocking some designer fit...no matter if its tasteful or flamboyant...the money motivated young gals will notice. But this is obvious of course....if a man has money he gets not only relationship(s) but friendships...regardless of how sincere/true it all is.

    As for the pretty women comment...women have it easier. They have make up to save them and height isnt such a big deal, their faces can be round and it can still be okay. Men have to have the height, chiseled facial structure, etc. Its harder because men cant just get taller if they are short or of average height, the chiseled face is hard to achieve...even if one loses body fat/works out if they dont have the bone structure then tough luck. I just measured myself and I come out to 5'8"...not as tall as I would have liked but its what I am stuck with...if I could afford the limb lengthening I would fork over the 100K for that precious 2-3 inches just to get to average height of 5'10" or 5'11". Women can be as short as 4'11" but thats getting pretty darn short and still be okay. Height is more emphasized for men...women get a pass. If a guy has small dick...he is stuck. A woman has small boobs? Get some implants...done.

    Although society is much more critical of women and aging vs men and aging. A woman ages and she loses it...a man ages and he gets more distinct with the salt & pepper hair/smile lines/wrinkles/etc. Not always true and I believe old is old...men and women both will age. Its just that women are expected to be flawless and beautiful...men are allowed leeway to be rough around the edges.

    Yup, a relaxation session with a drop dead gorgeous provider is easy enough to partake in...but getting a trophy girl is hard. Same for women...getting that trophy man. Problem is if you want that perfect 10...you most likely gotta be a perfect 10 as well. But we all seen it....smoking hot babes with ugly dudes and model looking men with ugly girls....they really must have a personality brighter than the sun and or be loaded $$$.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSheEp3 View Post
    Men have to have the height, chiseled facial structure, etc. Its harder because men cant just get taller if they are short or of average height, the chiseled face is hard to achieve...even if one loses body fat/works out if they dont have the bone structure then tough luck.
    Now someone tells me

    “Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    I would take a nice, interesting guy with stability over even a hot as fuck rich guy, any day! The power money gives them usually ends up destroying everything.
    If I was wealthy I wouldn't want girl to be with me for my money...but that is probable the case. Unless she has millions of her own...then its probably true love and not money motivated.

    The old money and people born into riches are usually on point from what I have seen

    Again, it is the fact that the girl has her own money that allows an 'equal' basis for personal interaction with a rich guy. Absent the girl having her own money, the rich guy is going to either be defensive against potential gold-digging, or exploitive / controlling.

    The same 'equal' basis can also be achieved between a blue collar guy and a dancer who hasn't (yet) accumulated much money of her own. However, the absence of money makes for a lifestyle that is far less 'fun'. And of course when the dancer begins to accumulate her own money, the 'equal' basis is gradually lost ... leading to potential gold-digging by the guy, or other relationship stresses.


    Ladies, always have your own money...an escape plan isn't a bad idea either...
    Excellent advice, Yoda ... and advice that I have ALWAYS lived by since I divorced my ex and was stuck with 5 figures worth of debt had run up !!!

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by safado View Post
    Now someone tells me

    Don't do that, tough it out and look for brighter days.

    And its not men have to have all that...but it damn sure would be nice.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSheEp3 View Post
    I am thinking if I stay solo, I will be stronger in the end because there is no girl to lose (whether that be via accidental death, sickness, or simply she breaks it off) and by not having that someone...that is one less thing to hurt/hinder me emotionally in a bad situation. If I just keep the best friend I have (I literally have 3 friends now...never had much friends to begin with), live a meaning full life, decent career, etc I can be content. But that is me.

    How do you feel about the matter? Do you need/want somebody? Or can you go solo? Whats up?

    P.S. I do however know that I will get old...and growing old and alone might be something that would be hard for me and by then I would be wishing I had someone.
    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSheEp3 View Post
    ...And to those saying I wont know what I want in years time...thinking about it I dont know. Although I do believe love doesn't find you, you have to actively seek it. If I dont have a social life (which I dont have much of right now) how will I get a girl? If I dont approach girls and try to holler...well nothing gained. And the likelihood of a girl approaching me like that last one...is highly unlikely. Guys have to do the approaching...and get shot down in the process. If only there were more forward girls out there...a girl being forward does not lower her value or make her look easy...I don't get why women think it makes em look desperate to make the first move. If that was the case...then all men would be desperate since they are always hollering. I don't care who makes the first move, as long as someone does it. And it would be nice if in the future women would be the one to make the move...any guy I would bet would love that. The playing field is in the woman's favor...it should be = equal.
    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSheEp3 View Post
    ...As for the pretty women comment...women have it easier. They have make up to save them and height isnt such a big deal, their faces can be round and it can still be okay. Men have to have the height, chiseled facial structure, etc. Its harder because men cant just get taller if they are short or of average height, the chiseled face is hard to achieve...even if one loses body fat/works out if they dont have the bone structure then tough luck. I just measured myself and I come out to 5'8"...not as tall as I would have liked but its what I am stuck with...if I could afford the limb lengthening I would fork over the 100K for that precious 2-3 inches just to get to average height of 5'10" or 5'11". Women can be as short as 4'11" but thats getting pretty darn short and still be okay. Height is more emphasized for men...women get a pass. If a guy has small dick...he is stuck. A woman has small boobs? Get some implants...done.
    Shit, I'm getting depressed just reading this stuff. Relax already dude, you are 26, not 66. Get out of your own head already and just roll with things for a while. Relationships often do have a way of dropping into our laps when we least expect them and rarely do we find good ones when we are being driven by feelings of internal pressure.

    And I'm not sure where you get all of this nonsense about what men "have to have" anyway. There are a lot of things that determine chemistry between two people. I do not have that "chiseled facial structure" and my bed has rarely been empty since I was 20 (I am 43 now), and that includes several relationships, a number of casual flings and, oh yeah, two marriages.

    It is interesting though, I found my best relationship when I finally learned how to be alone for a while. This gave me the strength to hold out for someone who I felt was a good match. I now have 3 beautiful children with her.

    Just a few thoughts.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    It's kind of like deciding to never buy a pet because you don't want to have to endure their death. You'll miss out on the quality of life boost that comes with having relationships with other beings.

    It does sound like you need to chill out about relationships though. You've started a number of threads that sound a bit tense. Put yourself in situations where good things could happen - go for walks, browse bookstores, browse the internet in coffee shops, etc. - but stop pushing for things to happen. Focus on getting to know people instead of starting relationships. If you stumble across a relationship, great! And if not, you'll at least be out staying active, doing things that interest you.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Shit, I'm getting depressed just reading this stuff. Relax already dude, you are 26, not 66. Get out of your own head already and just roll with things for a while. Relationships often do have a way of dropping into our laps when we least expect them and rarely do we find good ones when we are being driven by feelings of internal pressure.

    And I'm not sure where you get all of this nonsense about what men "have to have" anyway. There are a lot of things that determine chemistry between two people. I do not have that "chiseled facial structure" and my bed has rarely been empty since I was 20 (I am 43 now), and that includes several relationships, a number of casual flings and, oh yeah, two marriages.

    It is interesting though, I found my best relationship when I finally learned how to be alone for a while. This gave me the strength to hold out for someone who I felt was a good match. I now have 3 beautiful children with her.

    Just a few thoughts.
    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    It's kind of like deciding to never buy a pet because you don't want to have to endure their death. You'll miss out on the quality of life boost that comes with having relationships with other beings.

    It does sound like you need to chill out about relationships though. You've started a number of threads that sound a bit tense. Put yourself in situations where good things could happen - go for walks, browse bookstores, browse the internet in coffee shops, etc. - but stop pushing for things to happen. Focus on getting to know people instead of starting relationships. If you stumble across a relationship, great! And if not, you'll at least be out staying active, doing things that interest you.
    All good advice, will do my best to just "let go". My biggest hang up is accepting my looks but I will work on what I can improve by nutrition/exercise. Everything else is what it is.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSheEp3 View Post
    As for the pretty women comment...women have it easier. They have make up to save them and height isnt such a big deal, their faces can be round and it can still be okay. Men have to have the height, chiseled facial structure, etc. Its harder because men cant just get taller if they are short or of average height, the chiseled face is hard to achieve...even if one loses body fat/works out if they dont have the bone structure then tough luck. I just measured myself and I come out to 5'8"...not as tall as I would have liked but its what I am stuck with...if I could afford the limb lengthening I would fork over the 100K for that precious 2-3 inches just to get to average height of 5'10" or 5'11". Women can be as short as 4'11" but thats getting pretty darn short and still be okay. Height is more emphasized for men...women get a pass. If a guy has small dick...he is stuck. A woman has small boobs? Get some implants...done.
    Do you go out clubbing at all? I am don't have the chiseled face and I am not tall either, I am 5'7". There are plenty of times that I have been approached by women at clubs, and they were not whales either. It is not a weekly occurrence but has happened plenty of times.

    I see a lot of this shit posted on another site that I visit, there are a bunch of guys who are of normal height and probably better than average shape as it is a fitness site. There are a ton of them bitching an moaning about how they can't get girlfriends, or can't get laid because "they are short" (to them anyone under six feet is short) or they have a "weak jaw line". The real problem is their attitude and body language, they probably go around like they have a chip on their shoulder and act pissy because women are not throwing themselves at them and they see "lesser men" with a good looking woman.

    “Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    i might have a problem with a man who is shorter than me ( and plenty of men don't want women taller than them, so you are wrong when you say height doesn't matter for women). but my bf is 5'8 maybe shorter and i still find him incredibly sexy. you are NEVER going to be perfect and even if you are, different people have a different idea of perfection. don't stress about stupid shit like height you can't change. and i've seen your pics, your face is perfectly fine! you are nowhere near ugly or unattractive. i think you have all these pre-conceived notions about what it takes to be "attractive" and its not necessarily true

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by safado View Post
    Do you go out clubbing at all? I am don't have the chiseled face and I am not tall either, I am 5'7". There are plenty of times that I have been approached by women at clubs, and they were not whales either. It is not a weekly occurrence but has happened plenty of times.

    I see a lot of this shit posted on another site that I visit, there are a bunch of guys who are of normal height and probably better than average shape as it is a fitness site. There are a ton of them bitching an moaning about how they can't get girlfriends, or can't get laid because "they are short" (to them anyone under six feet is short) or they have a "weak jaw line". The real problem is their attitude and body language, they probably go around like they have a chip on their shoulder and act pissy because women are not throwing themselves at them and they see "lesser men" with a good looking woman.
    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    i might have a problem with a man who is shorter than me ( and plenty of men don't want women taller than them, so you are wrong when you say height doesn't matter for women). but my bf is 5'8 maybe shorter and i still find him incredibly sexy. you are NEVER going to be perfect and even if you are, different people have a different idea of perfection. don't stress about stupid shit like height you can't change. and i've seen your pics, your face is perfectly fine! you are nowhere near ugly or unattractive. i think you have all these pre-conceived notions about what it takes to be "attractive" and its not necessarily true
    Safado: I don't go clubbing. Is that other site you visit the bodybuilding forums? If so lots of the taller dudes on there (5'10"+) do make fun of the guys who are shorter...thats just hating. If I was taller I would never diss anybody shorter...I understand the feelings/pain of wanting to be taller so why would I make fun of em? Well the people who put down others have an insecurity and or are just plain mean. I personally dont think anything under 6' is short...under 5'6" that is getting short. I consider my height at 5'8" to be average...though some would say depending on their sources its short and 5'10" is the average. We do have Mark Wahlberg, Tom Cruise, Al Pacino, Sly Stallone, Jesse Mcartney, Eminem, etc. and good amount of other stars who are in our height range and they do fine. Then again they look good to begin with and being rich/famous makes all the difference. Look at Johnny Depp...if he wasnt a celebrity people might think he is "creepy" or eccentric...by the way he aint that tall either...handsome guy though.

    My last girlfriend was the same exact height as me (5'8") and she was cool with it, so was I. I admit I was a little bit uncomfortable when she wore heals and her height shot to 5'10" or so and that's only 2 inch heels...but I figured if she didn't care and was comfortable...I should be too. Eventually I was cool with it but I do prefer the girl to be shorter than me. So a chick in the 5 feet to 5'6" range is fine.

    You are correct it comes down to attitude/confidence....I seen shorter dudes with tons of confidence and taller dudes with not much confidence. It all comes down to the individual. What I do believe is one will probably/most likely have confidence if he is tall/has good looks...if not I just dont get it....people know when they are attractive because it gets validated by the looks and approaches from others. A hot girl knows shes hot and is used to praise and men falling all over her...so when she gets a negative compliment its a surprise/shock to her...same goes for a hot guy.

    And when I see nerdy/fobby/goofy looking dudes with smoking hot babes...I think good for them. I am happy for them....unless they are truly assholes then I wonder why the girl is with him...maybe low self esteem or the money...who knows its not my business anyways.

    I don't hate on others unless they hate on me...or I can see they are not a good person. But who am I to judge? Well we all judge each other...its part of being human.

    simone87: That is true about the perfection pursuit. And your right...while there is a common standard for what is deemed attractive ie soft feminine features for females and strong masculine features for males....beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

    Day by the day I am learning to love myself. After all, gotta love yourself before you can love another.

    Oh and if girls can rock a push up bra to boost their confidence...then a dude can rock some 1-2 inch lifts to boost his. But all of my sneakers are minimalist running shoes so they don't add any height and I am okay with that. I have been tempted to rock some lifts but it just would feel funky...especially once the shoes came off lol people would be like whoa...you shrunk.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackSheEp3 View Post
    Safado:Is that other site you visit the bodybuilding forums?
    lol. One of the guys at work is a true miscer, he spend most of his time playing video games, is a miscer (posts on bodybuilding misc section) and does not even lift, is 5'10" and thinks he is short and that's why he can't get laid.

    You should try the clubbing thing, you have noting to lose, just don't drive drunk.
    “Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by safado View Post
    You should try the clubbing thing, you have noting to lose, just don't drive drunk.
    safado, not picking on you personally, but I do want to address the often-quoted phrase that I've bold-faced. I hear this a lot, and it's true...for people with healthy or normal levels of self-esteem. It is so absolutely not true for people with low self-esteem. Hearing/reading it so often has turned it into a pet peeve of mine.

    When a person with normal self-esteem encounters a setback, such as a rejection from a potential employer or potential significant other, it stings, but you eventually "bounce back." Your self-esteem takes a temporary hit of varying, but usually brief, length, and then it returns to the normal, healthy level. You really don't have anything to lose by trying, and maybe you even learn something along the way, or at the very least answer the question "what if?"

    When a person with low self-esteem encounters a similar setback, their self esteem takes a hit, but it's not temporary. It can be long-term or even permanent. People with low self-esteem don't "bounce back" from setbacks the way healthy people do. These setbacks are obsessed over, over-analyzed, replayed over and over again, and provide fuel to the fire of negative thoughts in one's internal monologue. Those failures (and yes, they are absolutely seen as failures) contribute to the lack of confidence, low self esteem, and downward negative spiral.

    Personal example: I always saw online dating as a last resort, my "if all else fails" backup plan. "Try it, you have nothing to lose!" I tried it. I lost most of my hope. It was my backup plan, and now I have nothing. I lost so much by "just trying." In short, we have everything to lose.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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  30. #46
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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by safado View Post
    lol. One of the guys at work is a true miscer, he spend most of his time playing video games, is a miscer (posts on bodybuilding misc section) and does not even lift, is 5'10" and thinks he is short and that's why he can't get laid.

    You should try the clubbing thing, you have noting to lose, just don't drive drunk.
    lmao I am not all that familiar with the bodybuilding forums (not a member but do view the forum from time to time) there have been times I didn't know what their lingo meant such as miring (admiring), bert stare (bert stare), srs (seriously I think?), etc. Thought this would be relevant to the term miscer...courtesy of urban dictionary:

    "A miscer is a member of the misc section of the bodybuilding.com forums. While most of the bodybuilding.com forums are geared towards the bodybuilding lifestyle, with a few exceptions, the misc section is generally where all the unrelated random topics tend to be posted.

    Miscers are predominatley male in the 18-34 age bracket. Although many claim to be avid bodybuilders, a lot do not look it judging by their avatar pictures.

    Miscers tend to be a cynical, impatient and fickle lot and do not take kindly to unfunny trolling. Said trolls are often dealt with harshly and negged to oblivion.

    Most miscers are looked down upon by other members of the forum because they post almost exclusively in the misc section and many do not even work out. It is also where most of the forums trolls congegrate.

    To make it as a miscer your main goal should be providing entertainment to the other misc members. Probably the easiest way would be providing comedy relief or posting something informative or of an 'epic' nature.
    Miscer Troll: "What's up my fellow miscers? Are you aware that protein harms your liver? Don't take protein brahs, stay natural like me!"

    Miscer: "Negged"

    Damn and he is complaining at 5'10"...well then again everyone has their view on what is what.
    I never been much into clubs but I can be open to it...driving drunk wont be a problem since I don't drink any alcohol. I also don't smoke.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    safado, not picking on you personally, but I do want to address the often-quoted phrase that I've bold-faced. I hear this a lot, and it's true...for people with healthy or normal levels of self-esteem. It is so absolutely not true for people with low self-esteem. Hearing/reading it so often has turned it into a pet peeve of mine.

    When a person with normal self-esteem encounters a setback, such as a rejection from a potential employer or potential significant other, it stings, but you eventually "bounce back." Your self-esteem takes a temporary hit of varying, but usually brief, length, and then it returns to the normal, healthy level. You really don't have anything to lose by trying, and maybe you even learn something along the way, or at the very least answer the question "what if?"

    When a person with low self-esteem encounters a similar setback, their self esteem takes a hit, but it's not temporary. It can be long-term or even permanent. People with low self-esteem don't "bounce back" from setbacks the way healthy people do. These setbacks are obsessed over, over-analyzed, replayed over and over again, and provide fuel to the fire of negative thoughts in one's internal monologue. Those failures (and yes, they are absolutely seen as failures) contribute to the lack of confidence, low self esteem, and downward negative spiral.

    Personal example: I always saw online dating as a last resort, my "if all else fails" backup plan. "Try it, you have nothing to lose!" I tried it. I lost most of my hope. It was my backup plan, and now I have nothing. I lost so much by "just trying." In short, we have everything to lose.
    Hmmm food for thought. My self esteem definitely could be better but when I experience rejection/set back my esteem doesn't get worse. Its always been fairly consistent and I feel better that I tried and got my answer vs. not trying and being full of regret. So rejection/set back is bittersweet...bitter in the sting of rejection and disappointment but sweet in the satisfaction I have made an attempt and gotten my answer.

    It just makes me think though...well this sucks but there will be another opportunity. Also I make sure I tell myself I am a catch...I have something to offer...because if I didn't then why would she want me? I gotta have something to bring to the table. Same for her...if she is all looks but no substance....its not gonna last. Although admittedly I am a sucker for good looks but looks is what gets the guy or girl...personality and character is what keeps em around for the long haul.
    Last edited by BlackSheEp3; 07-02-2013 at 05:54 AM.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    I'll probably get flamed for pointing this out, but ...

    If a girl in our industry has the talent / work ethic / brains to earn, save and invest her own money ... such that her lifestyle really isn't going to change much if she suddenly has some guy's fat wallet available ... then all that leaves is the dick !!!

    It has been my experience that, sooner or later, a large percentage of guys with fat wallets will try to use their wealth to 'leverage' a relationship. However, if the guy with a million dollars is made to clearly understand that the girl has her own million dollars ... such that the guy's wealth isn't going to buy him s#!t in the way of otherwise undeserved affection ... then the guy's 'true colors' will come out almost immediately. Unfortunately, most of the time those 'true colors' will be dark !!!
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Exactly. The clubs are filled with dancers who "came back" to dancing after Mr. money bags turned out to be a possessive A-hole. A retired dancer friend of mine spent 2 months of last winter living in a homeless shelter after throwing her clothes in a couple of trash bags and fleeing from the dream house she shared with her "Mr Right" in the middle of the night.

    Ladies, always have your own money...an escape plan isn't a bad idea either...
    Yep agree with both Melonie and Yoda. I have known so many dancers who "retired" to be with "Mr right" and guess what? they usually returned. Never, NEVER leave a job to be with someone without a back up plan. These relationships often fail.

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    Why is this so fucking true? lol

    A lot of men seem to like LOVE the fact that some women will do anything for money. They get off to it. Its like a lot of wealthy men have some sick obsession with that, and how powerful it makes them feel.

    This is probably why I prefer to date a hard-working middle to upper-middle-class guy over a rich guy. I would take a nice, interesting guy with stability over even a hot as fuck rich guy, any day! The power money gives them usually ends up destroying everything.
    I agree with this completely. I prefer to date middle to upper middle class men because we are on the same playing field. I am with them because of them than because of their money.

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    ^ yup right on. i also kinda hate the stereotype " men only care about looks, women only care about money" as if it coudn't be the other way around and men NEVER care about money and women never care about looks! i've had a string of boyfriends who hopped from girl to girl whoever was able to support them. in this economy many men have become golddiggers as well.
    This too. I once dated a man who used women for money. They exist. I couldn't begin to tell all the times I read something online about men doing online dating and couldn't figure out why a woman rejected him because "women want a man with money". Often these men were at best upper middle class and couldn't handle the fact the women didn't date strictly on money.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Shit, I'm getting depressed just reading this stuff. Relax already dude, you are 26, not 66. Get out of your own head already and just roll with things for a while. Relationships often do have a way of dropping into our laps when we least expect them and rarely do we find good ones when we are being driven by feelings of internal pressure.

    And I'm not sure where you get all of this nonsense about what men "have to have" anyway. There are a lot of things that determine chemistry between two people. I do not have that "chiseled facial structure" and my bed has rarely been empty since I was 20 (I am 43 now), and that includes several relationships, a number of casual flings and, oh yeah, two marriages.

    It is interesting though, I found my best relationship when I finally learned how to be alone for a while. This gave me the strength to hold out for someone who I felt was a good match. I now have 3 beautiful children with her.

    Just a few thoughts.
    I find the best relationships too when I am fine being alone. I would rather be alone than settle and having that attitude helps me a lot. Men like women who aren't needy and desperate and when I am not needy and desperate the men flock. When I am needy the men avoid.

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    Default Re: Is it a good idea to stay single for the rest of your life?

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    i might have a problem with a man who is shorter than me ( and plenty of men don't want women taller than them, so you are wrong when you say height doesn't matter for women). but my bf is 5'8 maybe shorter and i still find him incredibly sexy. you are NEVER going to be perfect and even if you are, different people have a different idea of perfection. don't stress about stupid shit like height you can't change. and i've seen your pics, your face is perfectly fine! you are nowhere near ugly or unattractive. i think you have all these pre-conceived notions about what it takes to be "attractive" and its not necessarily true
    There is this guy that I am attracted to and no idea why. He's considerably shorter than me (he's 5'4 at best), he has a big belly (I call it a Jack Daniels belly), he is greying and balding, and he slouches because he has no self esteem. I really don't even know why I am attracted to him at all but when I see him something clicks inside of me. He has other issues that have prevented us from getting together and may prevent this but he turns me on so much.

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    safado, not picking on you personally, but I do want to address the often-quoted phrase that I've bold-faced. I hear this a lot, and it's true...for people with healthy or normal levels of self-esteem. It is so absolutely not true for people with low self-esteem. Hearing/reading it so often has turned it into a pet peeve of mine.

    When a person with normal self-esteem encounters a setback, such as a rejection from a potential employer or potential significant other, it stings, but you eventually "bounce back." Your self-esteem takes a temporary hit of varying, but usually brief, length, and then it returns to the normal, healthy level. You really don't have anything to lose by trying, and maybe you even learn something along the way, or at the very least answer the question "what if?"

    When a person with low self-esteem encounters a similar setback, their self esteem takes a hit, but it's not temporary. It can be long-term or even permanent. People with low self-esteem don't "bounce back" from setbacks the way healthy people do. These setbacks are obsessed over, over-analyzed, replayed over and over again, and provide fuel to the fire of negative thoughts in one's internal monologue. Those failures (and yes, they are absolutely seen as failures) contribute to the lack of confidence, low self esteem, and downward negative spiral.

    Personal example: I always saw online dating as a last resort, my "if all else fails" backup plan. "Try it, you have nothing to lose!" I tried it. I lost most of my hope. It was my backup plan, and now I have nothing. I lost so much by "just trying." In short, we have everything to lose.
    Lestat, I did online for the last three years ago (seriously the last year and a half)and I failed too. There's no reason this should have happened since I feel I have a lot to offer but it did. Oh sure I did get a lot of responses but the majority were from men I would never date like dads, much older men and guys looking just for sex. Online doesn't work for everyone.

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