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Thread: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

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    Veteran Member crazybeautiful28's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    Ugh, I posted this in Ladies Only originally. Need to delete that....

    Anyway, I'm a long time member of this board, but have since put away my heels and settled down. I haven't been married a year now, but I have something I wanted to know your opinions on.

    I love chatting on-line. Love it. I always have since I was 10--forums, chatrooms, video chat, you name it... I mainly stick to forums, but have since gotten a little bored and ventured over to Omegle (big mistake, I know). I met some cool people and what not, but you know you get the guys jerking off and all that crap. I never did anything (never got naked or anything like that) just lightly flirted and watched a few jerk off. I don't know why, it was just amusing. Other than that, I really just chatted with people. Now I feel guilty, like I cheated or something. I have to admit, it turned me on though. And really, how different is that to Hubs jerking off to porn? Anyone else done something like this? I don't want to tell him cause he might get freaked out, and I'm NOT doing it again. I kinda feel $h!tty. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who's done some on-line flirting!

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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    Well I am a dude so here is my perspective/input. I'm not married btw but I will still answer.

    If I had a girlfriend/wife and she wants to watch pron that's fine.

    If she lusts over a hunky celebrity/singer/athelete/etc. that's fine.

    If she wants to have a threesome with another girl that's more than fine...that's a hell yeah from me.

    If she looks at other guys...that's okay too.

    Now where I draw the line is if she starts flirting with dudes...being friendly is one thing...flirting is another.

    I wouldn't do that to her (the flirting...I will look no doubt) so I expect the same.

    Oh and if you feel guilty as you mentioned and don't plan on doing it again, that's good. Its up to you to tell him or keep it from him. No comment on that.

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    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    You should be less worried about that and worry more about what is lacking in your relationship that you feel the need to seek out that kind of interaction.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    P.S. The hubby watching pron is different in the fact he doesn't interact with the pron stars...so no flirting can occur.

    A chatroom/webcam/etc. is more personal and allows one to make connections.

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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    I don't make any connections though. I don't exchange Faebook or Skype info. Honestly, this is the first time I've done it (watched them masturbate that is). And I feel it is more out of curiosity. Honestly, I don't feel anything is lacking in marriage. I'm very happy with hubs. I just wandered over there, and was kinda turned on by it. @blacksheep, I get what you're saying about how it's different from porn, but not very. It's still people on video doing their thing--yes you can make the further connection, but the fact that I haven't (and wont) lessens the offense. If I ever did, then I would be writing a different topic....about how s***** of a wife I am.

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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    Quote Originally Posted by crazybeautiful28 View Post
    I don't make any connections though. I don't exchange Faebook or Skype info. Honestly, this is the first time I've done it (watched them masturbate that is). And I feel it is more out of curiosity. Honestly, I don't feel anything is lacking in marriage. I'm very happy with hubs. I just wandered over there, and was kinda turned on by it. @blacksheep, I get what you're saying about how it's different from porn, but not very. It's still people on video doing their thing--yes you can make the further connection, but the fact that I haven't (and wont) lessens the offense. If I ever did, then I would be writing a different topic....about how s***** of a wife I am.
    I am glad you feel happy in your marriage, that's what matters. Your human, its normal. I would get turned on as well by attractive females doing sexual things whether I have someone or not...that wont change.

    Here is how I see it...whatever I do to my girl (if I had one) I can expect it back with no qualms.

    So basically golden rule, treat others the way you wanna be treated.

    All good I say.

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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    I would not tell him. Unless I missed something it does not sound all that different then if you had gone to a strip club, chatted up some dancers, got a dance (and the dancer just happened to masturbate during the dance and you got turned on). Actually it seems not as bad as if it had happened at a strip club. lol
    “Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    I went through this with my husband awhile back (for the record I have zero problems with himwatching porn, we do it together, and I definitely do it too) and it really, really hurt our relationship. He had a problem with us and went out to find a different outlet, nothing physical, but a whole lot of sites to meet people and a ton of flirting. It isn't the same as porn, it just isn't. Porn is prerecorded people getting it on for cash with probably no actual enjoyment. They haven't talked to my husband, he doesn't watch them for any other reason than a physical release and sometimes some good ideas for stuff for us to try. Porn isn't emotional cheating, it's just physical. Flirting and watching people live (that aren't getting paid) is more than just physical, it's emotional too and although you shouldn't beat yourself up about the past, you should look at your relationship and try to figure out why you feel that way. It may be something huge, or not. But if he isn't meeting your needs you need to figure out why to try and fix it.

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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    Ok, now I'm freaking out. Seriously, I don't know why I watched. I really think it was just out of curiosity. I dunno, the same reason I tried to get the payperview to work as a kid so I could watch porn. It was the same curiosity and "naughty feeling" I guess, not cause there's anything wrong in my marriage. Ok, yeah, I shouldn't have done it, but I did and now I don't know what to do about it. Should I tell him? or should I just let it go? What good comes from telling him? What harm could happen if I don't tell him? I don't cheat on my husband. I have no desire to either. I actually have very strong feelings about cheating, and yes, I do believe in emotional cheating. But him and I have also discussed the topic of human behavior and how it feels good to have someone confirm that you are attractive. He knows I'm a flirt. I don't do it in front of him, but he knows I do. Yet he feels confident that I won't cheat on him, and so do I. When I say "flirted on Omegle" it was really just batting my eyes and letting them tell me I'm gorgeous. I guess it just felt good. I know my husband thinks I'm beautiful, but it still feels good when someone else tells you. And the whole masturbating thing was mainly because it was there and available to me; I was curious and it kinda got me going.

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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    You should be less worried about that and worry more about what is lacking in your relationship that you feel the need to seek out that kind of interaction.
    Yep... This.... ^^^
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    Quote Originally Posted by crazybeautiful28 View Post
    Ok, now I'm freaking out. Seriously, I don't know why I watched. I really think it was just out of curiosity. I dunno, the same reason I tried to get the payperview to work as a kid so I could watch porn. It was the same curiosity and "naughty feeling" I guess, not cause there's anything wrong in my marriage. Ok, yeah, I shouldn't have done it, but I did and now I don't know what to do about it. Should I tell him? or should I just let it go? What good comes from telling him? What harm could happen if I don't tell him? I don't cheat on my husband. I have no desire to either. I actually have very strong feelings about cheating, and yes, I do believe in emotional cheating. But him and I have also discussed the topic of human behavior and how it feels good to have someone confirm that you are attractive. He knows I'm a flirt. I don't do it in front of him, but he knows I do. Yet he feels confident that I won't cheat on him, and so do I. When I say "flirted on Omegle" it was really just batting my eyes and letting them tell me I'm gorgeous. I guess it just felt good. I know my husband thinks I'm beautiful, but it still feels good when someone else tells you. And the whole masturbating thing was mainly because it was there and available to me; I was curious and it kinda got me going.
    I wouldn't tell him. Seriously. He's gonna get all types of insecure, his imagination is likely to run wild, and he may become hyper suspicious.

    Please don't freak out. What's done is done. Consider how you can work towards improving your relationship with your husband so that you don't seek attention from guys who jerk it online.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    So...a follow-up to your responses (thank you, by the way), After thinking a lot about it (obsessing, really, and feeling totally like shit), I really think it has to do with my personal insecurities.

    It bothered me that people would imply that there were some deeper issues in my marriage (rightfully so, I would assume so as well reading my post as an outsider), but it bugged me because I actually consider myself really happy in my relationship. Very happy actually. My husband is a good man, good to me, and I adore him. I'm not trying to convince anyone of the stability of my marriage, more so just stating the status of it. Hence why I feel like shit about this...

    I really think (aside from my curiosity), I felt validated in being on Omegle and having men turned on by me. Not that my husband doesn't tell me I'm beautiful, he does all the time. But having been with him for 5 years, it's kind of become "a given." I hear it from him all the time, so I think I've sort of become use to it.

    I felt like Omegle was a reminder to me that other men still thought me to be attractive. It felt good! Reassuring. And so I fed into it.

    It makes me feel like shit because I feel like it's completely disrespectful to my husband. He SHOULD be the only opinion that matters to me, but for some reason I feel I need more. I don't know why--I've always been that way. Dancing fulfilled that need for me. It made me feel desirable and upon comparing myself to other women, I felt like I had an advantage. Getting older has taken away a lot of my confidence as well.

    I'm not trying to make excuses, but the whole "there must be something wrong in your marriage" comment really freaking irked me. Again, not blaming you for the comment, in fact I rather appreciate it because it made me do some hard thinking about the situation.

    I still feel like crap, but I definitely won't be visiting Omegle again. I'd just really like to get over it and move on.

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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    ^ i completely get where you are coming from! just because you are married or in a serious relationship doesn't mean you don't want to feel attractive and beautiful ( also doesn't mean you won't find anyone else attractive). its totally understandable! especially after going from having every guy in the club wanting you, and then only your husband telling you that you are beautiful.could you work in the adult industry in any other capacity? i really don't have any advice ( except , DON'T tell your husband. you got the bottom of why you wanted to do it, and it will only hurt him. he doesn't need to know. its gone and done), because i have the same problems. i NEED to know that people find me beautiful and i need to be told..i guess i have issues with my appearance ( not saying you do, because i think every woman loves hearing it!)

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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    My boyfriend is more than welcome to chat with other females: with a few stipulations. They have to be skinnier than me with bigger tits. So unless he's chatting with Melonie or Dolly Parton, no way Jose.

    And if he wants to get a LD the stripper meet the same criteria plus one more thing: They must have all their teeth. So far in PA he's not buying any LD's
    Last edited by tempest666; 07-04-2013 at 01:04 AM.

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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    It is totally inappropriate but I can see myself feeling the same way as you do after I'm done in this industry. Have you ever thought about camming?

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    Default Re: Any married ladies (men too) find this inappropriate?

    Quote Originally Posted by crazybeautiful28 View Post
    So...a follow-up to your responses (thank you, by the way), After thinking a lot about it (obsessing, really, and feeling totally like shit), I really think it has to do with my personal insecurities.

    It bothered me that people would imply that there were some deeper issues in my marriage (rightfully so, I would assume so as well reading my post as an outsider), but it bugged me because I actually consider myself really happy in my relationship. Very happy actually. My husband is a good man, good to me, and I adore him. I'm not trying to convince anyone of the stability of my marriage, more so just stating the status of it. Hence why I feel like shit about this...

    I really think (aside from my curiosity), I felt validated in being on Omegle and having men turned on by me. Not that my husband doesn't tell me I'm beautiful, he does all the time. But having been with him for 5 years, it's kind of become "a given." I hear it from him all the time, so I think I've sort of become use to it.

    I felt like Omegle was a reminder to me that other men still thought me to be attractive. It felt good! Reassuring. And so I fed into it.

    It makes me feel like shit because I feel like it's completely disrespectful to my husband. He SHOULD be the only opinion that matters to me, but for some reason I feel I need more. I don't know why--I've always been that way. Dancing fulfilled that need for me. It made me feel desirable and upon comparing myself to other women, I felt like I had an advantage. Getting older has taken away a lot of my confidence as well.

    I'm not trying to make excuses, but the whole "there must be something wrong in your marriage" comment really freaking irked me. Again, not blaming you for the comment, in fact I rather appreciate it because it made me do some hard thinking about the situation.

    I still feel like crap, but I definitely won't be visiting Omegle again. I'd just really like to get over it and move on.

    Well obviously i did not mean any insult, i just thought you were focusing on the wrong thing. And it seems you have figured it out anyways, which is good.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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