Results 1 to 16 of 16

Thread: Grabby customer....

  1. #1
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Sacramento, Ca
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    My Mood
    Tired

    Default Grabby customer....

    Hey girls! So I had my first shift last night & I didn't do too well. Here's what happened. A very grabby customer made me feel like a whore. He barely spoke English so I know that was a contributing factor. I'm taking it as a definite learning experience, but I just need to hear that it's not always going to be like this. For example, the customer wouldn't take no for an answer when I tried to keep his hands at his sides, continued to use his brute strength against me, tried to kiss me and put his hands in my panties, and at the end of the dance grabbed me and held me even though I was pushing him off. He held me for about 1 minute against my will, trying to kiss my mouth and grabbing my tits. It totally creeped me out, and I ended up just doing stage sets the rest of the night.
    I know I'm partially at fault, for being new and picking a customer I didn't have a good connection with who didn't care about the rules. But really, it's not always like this, right?
    Thanks ladies!

  2. #2
    Member SequoiaRedd's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2008
    Location
    on the road
    Posts
    23
    Thanks
    21
    Thanked 11 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    I wouldn't blame yourself or his lack of speaking English for his behavior, body language says a lot and this guy sounds like a major asshole. I've slapped customers before (I don't recommend doing this, I got told off by my bouncer who conveniently wasn't around at the time) to keep them in their place because I have a short temper span when it comes to shit like that.

    Cheer up, there are super nice dudes out there, some that won't even try touching you because they're too shy and some really respectful people. Its kind of important to get into the habit of being able to quickly brush off situations like this one and move onto the next guy and not allowing his assholery to have power over you or your earnings. Fuck him.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to SequoiaRedd For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Omicron Persei 8
    Posts
    4,508
    Thanks
    12,529
    Thanked 13,934 Times in 3,720 Posts

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    No, it's not always like that. In the last 3 months, I have only had one or two guys that I've had to forcefully pin their hands down and I did have one whose hands kept traveling up towards my vag, but I ended up just air dancing even higher up and he got the point.
    But I agree with Sequoia, don't let them get away with shit because they don't speak English. Repeatedly taking a guy's hands off you is pretty straightforward in ALL languages as "stop touching me".

    Personally I have a 3 strikes rule; they get a warning on the 2nd that I will stop the dance, and if they don't knock it off, I just get up and demand my money and leave. I'd get your money up front if you have a feeling the guy will be grabby so you can just walk off.
    But definitely don't feel like you have to do more than you're comfortable with, just tell him "These are my boundaries, stop touching me". On the kissing thing, I'd probably grab his face and be like "STOP. IT." You can also just back away until you are dancing a foot in front of him. I don't know about being pinned down though... if somebody literally tried to pin me down, my instinct would kick in and I'd probably freak the fuck out and kick them in the balls. Where were the bouncers? Could you have motioned them over?
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

  5. #4
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Sacramento, Ca
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    My Mood
    Tired

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    The bouncer was nowhere in sight. Sunday nights get busy around 11 here but afterward taper off, so there was also barely anyone in the lap dance room. I'm not entirely turned off and I get that there are upsides and downsides to every job, I just wanted to hear the "it isn't all about these types of customers" line. When he had me pinned, I was freaked and pushed off him with all of my might. When I finally got free, I just took off, and he yelled at me how it wasn't worth the money. I was so pissed. I went straight to the manager and bouncer and he had a close & personal audience the rest of the night.
    Also, the fucker didn't even tip me. The whole group of them that were there pulled this shit with the other girls too. They got avoided after that, and no dances for them. I don't work again till Wednesday. It just rattled me a bit at the time, so I needed to regroup. I'm okay, but I've definitely learned my lesson: avoid the creepers. He kept asking me how many minutes it would be and was trying to take his dick out. I tried the "you're gonna get me fired" and he replied with "yes, I know." And then I switched tactics. I think it's helped me get an edge, and my next dances are going to begin with clear and firm rules.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Prettyravegirl For This Useful Post:


  7. #5
    Featured Member sierra.'s Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    904
    Thanks
    1,484
    Thanked 1,166 Times in 427 Posts

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    This is not your fault AT ALL. So get that out of your head.
    Customers vary from region to region, but no, it is not always like that. As you gain experience (and lose patience) it will be easier to handle these guys, and to recognize who is likely to give you a hard time.

    When guys try to control my dancing or move me for them, I purposely move very slow and resist their "guidance". If this doesn't get them to stop, I will either physically remove their hands from me or tell them to knock it off. If they still don't stop, I stand up and tell them they need to behave themselves (or be more gentle, or stop whatever it is they are doing that I don't like), and sometimes I will threaten to end the dance early but personally I don't like to do this if I haven't been paid yet. If they do something really atrocious, or don't stop after I've asked, then I will tell them the dance is over, but I don't want to go that route and risk not getting paid if I don't have to.

    I have never had a guy hold me down while I was obviously physically struggling against him, but if that happened I would start being loud about it, and call a bouncer if they are reliable.

    I also like to tell guys my rules beforehand. If they try and break a rule then it's easy to let them know they just used up their last warning. I try to be direct and firm but somewhat playful about it at first, but if they are persistent I get serious and let them see I am pissed off or upset.

    hot flirting tips 2k13: tell him, “I’m not like other girls,” then pull down the secret zipper at the back of your neck to reveal your true reptilian form


  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to sierra. For This Useful Post:


  9. #6
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Sacramento, Ca
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    My Mood
    Tired

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    With my club, the money for dances goes into a machine before the dance starts. So I have no risk of not getting paid. It was just my very first dance, so I didn't know what was okay to do or not do as far as walking off, etc.
    I know it wasn't my fault that the guy was a dick. But there were definitely signs that he wasn't going to be easy, and I should have yielded those, instead of just continuing to hustle the asshole.

  10. #7
    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Omicron Persei 8
    Posts
    4,508
    Thanks
    12,529
    Thanked 13,934 Times in 3,720 Posts

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    Oooh are you at Deja Vu by chance? My friend worked at the Sac one and told me about the machines
    But that is a whole new set of escape hatches for me, because if I had already been paid via that machine, it'd be easier to be like "peace out mofo". I would have hustled the crap out of him beforehand to get a couple of songs worth, knowing he probably wouldn't mind his manners and I"d probably get to bail.

    .... Yes, I am an evil, evil bitch.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Selina M For This Useful Post:


  12. #8
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Sacramento, Ca
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    My Mood
    Tired

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    I am at Deja Vu the 60/40 cut kinda sucks but we have an awesome stage with spinning poles and 90% of the dancers and staff are super nice. The machines rock and I'm gonna take advantage of them from here on out!

  13. #9
    Banned Aniela's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    KW
    Posts
    3,291
    Thanks
    6,920
    Thanked 5,854 Times in 2,242 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    It's a pretty cynical way of looking at things, but I've come to think that part of the reason this happens so often, esp to newer dancers, is b/c women are socialised to be accommodating rather than to stand our ground. This is just my observation after having encountered sonmany customers over the yrs who 'wouldn't take no for an answer' - it is not a suggestion at all that you did smtg wrong.

    There's language barriers, then there's customers w/ an idgaf attitude. These bastards know exactly what they are doing. I have gotten violent w/ customers that assaulted me, or tried to, in self-defence, but I'd caution you abt that b/c there's always the chance that he will strike you back.

    Have a talk w/ your bouncers & make it clear that you need them to be on top of their shit. Make your contact rules clear at the beginning of the dance. i basically tell them to stay out of the swimsuit area - no boobs, no junk, pretty much anywhere else is cool. I consider that their first and only warning. If they step out of line, I end the dance. Grab me, restrain me, put fingers where they don't belong, & you will have sm interesting scratches & bruises to explain to your mates tomor.

    So sry this happened to you, but remember it's a reflection on them, not you.

  14. #10
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Sacramento, Ca
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    My Mood
    Tired

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    Oh yeah, I agree completely. I was trying to be accommodating, trying to be a good little stripper and not piss him off. I need to remind myself that I'm smarter than most of these assholes and that they came here for us, not the other way around. If they're gonna be douches, they'll get treated that way from now on. I'm nobody's whore. I am questioning the bouncers though, because I couldn't find one anywhere during all of this, and it could have gotten dangerous really quickly.

  15. #11
    Featured Member Addison's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    807
    Thanks
    98
    Thanked 1,351 Times in 407 Posts

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    ^^ Yes, it could have, and I'm glad you're okay! I'm sorry this happened to you. "Barely speaking English" has nothing to do with it - the fact of the matter is this guy is scum. English or no English, I know he understands the word NO.

    Establish firm boundaries and keep them set - forget about being "nice" or "accommodating" when a guy insists on being an asshole. One thing a lot of girls don't think of at the time... if you're ever in trouble (like this guy pinning you down, trying to kiss you, grabbing your boobs and inside your panties) and there's no bouncer in sight, SCREAM!

    I'm really surprised the managers allowed them to stay after that, especially if they were being jerks to all the girls. It was a terrible experience, but I'm sure you've learned from it. Always trust your gut.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to Addison For This Useful Post:


  17. #12
    Newbie xxxMsBarbaraxxx's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2013
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheerful

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    Just give him a Nice Hard Slap.... You don't have to worry about anything when you are not at Fault.In fact, some men does enjoy receiving nice slapping's from the Girls in the Club.You never know ... Try that on him, May be he would like that as well ... LOL ... Anyways, This guy sounds like an asshole & certainly deserve a Tight Slap.

  18. #13
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Sacramento, Ca
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    My Mood
    Tired

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    Haha! Right? Luckily, I haven't had another customer like that since my first one. Yay!

  19. #14
    God/dess arielbriel's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    4,942
    Thanks
    20,254
    Thanked 7,454 Times in 2,760 Posts

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    I wouldn't do that. In some clubs that can get you fired, at the least.

  20. #15
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    75
    Thanks
    21
    Thanked 201 Times in 55 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    Until I danced for a couple months, I had a few problems with some over-aggressive customers. One very nice girl, gave me what I think was some of the best advice - before any private dance, set your ground rules - 1) no touching here/there... 2) you can touch me here/there... 3) no kissing... 4)..... and if you respect that I'll give you the best dance that you can handle. Also, she said for those that don't follow my rules - nothing will make a man stop touching you quicker than a knee/kick to the balls or if you're wearing nice pointy heels - a heel dug right into their foot.

  21. #16
    Featured Member ava$'s Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,535
    Thanks
    1,566
    Thanked 1,906 Times in 868 Posts
    My Mood
    Blah

    Default Re: Grabby customer....

    Wow, that sucks, I hate hate hate guys like that! Sorry but it does always seem to be the foreign guys who do this stuff like they are just different on whats ok and whats not. Women in some cultures arent treated as well as ours but fuuuck that there in america so they need to fallow our rules I wish we all would start digging heals in these creaps feet!LBS that would teach them a lesson forsure! to answer your ? no its not always like that, actually most guys are scared to touch in the clubs ive worked at recently, I find that the better quality of customers dont tend to do stuff like this. You will start to figure out which guys not to even do dances with as time goes on.

Similar Threads

  1. grabby guys
    By Ariellecunt in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 12-01-2007, 06:39 PM
  2. Grabby customer story (funny!!!)
    By leogirl876 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 09-24-2006, 05:36 PM
  3. private show for grabby customer, from inexperienced dancer?
    By flyingbeagle7 in forum Private Party Dancing
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 08-30-2006, 06:16 PM
  4. Grabby customer
    By in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 08-18-2003, 02:56 PM
  5. Grabby customer
    By in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-21-2003, 06:05 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •