I just heard the funniest/ most fucked up shit!! I went up to a custie and he says "I'm not buying any dances, I'm here to surprise my wife" and I said "oh, that's nice, is she a dancer here?" "YEAH, AND I FOUND OUT SHE'S DANCING AND I'M GOING TO SUPRISE HER".... long pause.... "Oh cool... what's her name?" "I'm not telling you" slow walk away
20 girls that night I don't know that well, I talked to a couple but we couldn't figure it out. poor girl![]()
"Used as rocket fuel, sex energy can lift our consciousness to the stars to experience a state of being where love exists in and for itself and has no opposite. On a soul level, this is our natural state."-John Maxwell Taylor
oh, and here was my Cinco de Mayo- The girls and I doing shots of Patron, and paying for them ourselves.
"Used as rocket fuel, sex energy can lift our consciousness to the stars to experience a state of being where love exists in and for itself and has no opposite. On a soul level, this is our natural state."-John Maxwell Taylor


Yesterday was my first day back to work since my baby bump got too big to continue, so it's been about 7 months. A lot of people remembered me and were glad to see me, the cook and the dj both said I looked even better now because of my hips and boobs growing and the baby weight dropping right off. It was a really slow night, but I did really well for what it was. I'm pretty sure I was the only one that sold time in the champagne room which I feel really good about because I had difficulties selling time the 8 months I danced before I had to stop. I came out with 335 which I feel good about for how slow it was. The only weird thing was I found a makeup box filled with foil, needles and a crack pipe in the bathroom, so that was interesting. Good first night back, I've missed it.
When I arrived, there was a condom on the ground right outside my car door, which I worried was a bad omen. But last night was actually okay.
I asked every single customer for a tip with a 100% success rate. Come to think of it, I can't recall any customers who have refused to tip once I've asked them (with the exception of 2-3 incredibly rude guys) so I really really need to be more insistent on asking every single time. Even though I got there really late, it was slow, and I did fewer dances than I typically do on a Friday, I exceeded my goal by $120 all thanks to those $5 and $20 tips adding up.
Tonight is AWFUL but a customer literally just gave me the shirt off his back as a tip sooooo idefk





^^LOL, what?? A fucking shirt? What kind of tip is that?
"Dancing tables, making deals with devils like a drunk beauty queen"
He was wearing a Bruce Lee t-shirt and during the dance I commented that I love Bruce Lee, just to hustle. He stood up, removed his shirt, and gave it to me. He was wearing a button-up too so he wasn't like, shirtless, but still lol.
And he did tip me actual cash on top of it, most importantly!



As I was waiting to go up on stage today, the girl currently on came off looking equal parts astounded and disgusted. Apparently there was a guy at the tip rail giving off a lethal stank. The grossest smell you can imagine, and the poopiest sewer breath you've ever smelled. Everything. Just everything, just rolling off of him. It was really really bad. God's eyes were watering, this guy stank so bad. He tipped her and wanted her to dance for him when she got off stage. She rushed off to her next stage and I replaced her on the first. Sure enough, the foulest smelling human I have ever encountered was standing square in front of the stage. Jesus christ. If I hadn't personally smelled a rotting corpse before and so knew the difference between that and really bad B/O, I might've wondered if the zombie apocalypse started after all. This guy. Was. Rank.
He tipped me a five and went on forever about how it's his birthday and he's in VIP and I should go see him in VIP when I get off the stage... I told him I had a few other guys to see first, but I'd find him up there when I got the chance. I feel bad, but he stank. Really really bad. And he kept trying to sell me on a VIP. What? Since when? Since customers apparently go 30+ years without gaining the faintest clue about personal hygiene habits, apparently. This poor guy is in a strip club and is offering to pay the strippers upfront... he's hustling the strippers for VIPs, and not even they want to give him the time of day. And it was his birthday. Poor guy. But seriously, if someone is going to be that close to you, it's just common courtesy. Wash your clothes, take a shower, and brush your teeth at *least* 48 hours in advance. Seriously, the bar is really low here. No one wants to smell your three years of piss and shit in your jeans when they're a good five feet away.
When I caught up to relieve the earlier dancer from her last stage, I found out the guy had come up to her and pitched the VIP sale to her, too, and she'd said the same as me, more or less, so she was hoping he would just stay there for the rest of the night. On one hand, no way in hell would I do anything different. On the other, I feel really bad for him.
It was a night for bad hygiene. All offenders were here for the golf tournament thing, so I'm beginning to develop some prejudices. The other guy had totally rotted teeth. They were black nubs with some white spots here and there... looked like someone from the middle ages. This guy was all rot and no tooth. But his breath smelled just fine. I danced for him. He didn't smell at all, compared to the last guy.
When a guy with a mouth full of fully rotted teeth has breath that smells better than any part of you, that is a serious problem.



In other news, someone tipped me in a $25 gift card for Red Lobster. That was new.




I met a guy with a fake American accent. I'm in England. It was super fake and very obvious. He said he was from Florida but the accent he was mimicking was kind of like a ... southern drawl mixed in with a bit Cajun and a bit Sopranos. He said he didn't like British girls because if you get them drunk and take them to your hotel and then they say you raped them. He seemed like he was talking about an experience he had. Fucking wing nut. He managed to scare off every single stripper in the club.
But I had a good night and made the most money I ever have in this club or in England in general. With the conversion rate I probably made around the most I ever have in my career.
It was my first night back from a mini-vacation. I was in a good mood, so it was easy to make conversation and get dances... first customer of the night was a British guy who immediately became a stage 5 clinger after 2 dances. He kept asking "Do you like me?" and telling me how he "wouldn't mind" dating me and how I should touch his dick through his pants at the bar. I asked him if he wanted another dance and he said that he had to go. I guess he wanted me to beg for him to stay and hang out because my cheerful "goodbye!" caused him to start berating me for "only being about the money". Then I escaped upstairs to the VIP section, wandered around and did some more dances and then got called into a champagne room by the VIP host. These two customers ended up getting 2 hours with another dancer and myself! I ended up leaving that night with around $1700, a personal best at the club I'm currently working at.





Long vent rant:
Well, it's definitely summer already. Girls are getting possessive of customers, dressing room is all bitching.
The managers are getting even greedier. This is one of my major pet peeves with the industry. They are on salary, all of them drive NICE $40k cars or tricked out trucks & wear designer jeans, yet they'll throw girls off their shift for not tipping them their $5. I tip the day managers bc they DO things for us; cut us breaks on slow days, get $$ from shitty ripoff customers, etc. One has beat the crap out of multiple customers who've tried to rip girls off. They deserve their tips. I tipped the one night manager to be polite, until a week before Christmas he refused to do anything about a guy who ripped me off for $200... so now I don't tip him or the other one, who has always been an ass.
2 things with that happened yesterday:
1) Day manager specifically asked me to pay my house fee & manager tipout (they usually don't say a word until the last 15 mins of the manager's shift and take it whenever), 2 times he asked IF I wanted change, and then HOW MUCH change. No, I am not tipping you $15, are you kidding me, you've gotten $5 from me for the last 2 years. I love him, but not that much.
2) I made all the money I went home with in 2 hours of dayshift. Took a break. Worked a few more hours on nightshift and made like, $20 more, of which half went to the DJ. I'm keeping my remaining $10, fuck that. Went to leave out the back door, since I park back there, and the doorman happened to be there. They'd locked it so we couldn't leave through it. He opened it; I realized I'd left my car around front that day, cursed and started walking around front, and had to wave him off so HE wouldn't be in my pocket. (No I know, bad, but I honestly have never felt unsafe walking to my car so I don't use the doormen... waste of money).
Then the kid made a big deal out of asking if I'd signed out with the night manager. Excuse me? I'm not an employee. I don't have to 'sign out' to leave. I paid my fees on dayshift, and I'm not tipping him. All he's ever done is yell at me to take my top off immediately on stage, and doesn't enforce rules (the DJ last night was literally yelling at another girl to do her satellite stages; she blatantly ignored him; manager did nothing).
I'm probably gonna get canned from this club one of these days, but I don't care. I'm almost done dancing full-time anyway, and the fees have gotten outrageous relative to the quality of customer they're bringing in. I'd miss some of the people but the $$ is easily replaceable at another club.
"People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
It was a verrryy slow wednesday. I made all my money off one guy who talked my ear off for half an hour then would get a bunch of dances and then talk for another half hour, but because I had nobody else to make money off and I didnt want to lose him to another girl if i walked away I ended up sitting with him for like 3 hours. He told me all about his crazy life of working at a chemical plant for 12 hour days for 20 years. He got cancer twice because he got completely soaked in a chemical once. The CEO of the company purposely drove the business into the ground by acquiring a bunch of other companies and not paying ANY bills, declaring bankruptcy and hoping to hold onto a bunch of assets without having to pay for them. They're moving the plant to korea or something, so for the first time since he was 14 he isn't working for a few weeks while he waits for this other job to start. In the meantime he is actually figuring out what its like to.... have a life? for the first time ever.
That is insane to me. The most i've ever done is 60 hours a week and i felt like i was losing my identity and my mind. I dont know how people do it!
Do your future self a favor and work hard now.





Fuck this whole week. It could be dead bc of this past holiday, but must it be garbage quality? For fuck sakes. ....
I guess tonight was bad for more than just me because multiple girls were crying in the dressing room at various times throughout the night.lots of drama between girls too, which usually happens when girls aren't busy making money and instead turn their attention & anger on each other. i always know when its been a good night for everyone when the dressing room is dead ass quiet at the end of the night and everyone is silently counting their money.
i had one funny thing happen. Halfway through a dance a customer said "I suddenly just realized why you look so familiar to me... you look exactly like my cousin!" (im def not his cousin btw). it was hilarious. after a song he said it was too weird to continue and tipped me an extra 20 hahah. never had that happen before.
Do your future self a favor and work hard now.
My last shift I worked 12 hours, made 740 dollars, a regular gave me two free tickets to see the Dead and Company playing in July (he can't go since he has to go to jail and I'm stoked because I really REALLY wanted to go), and I found a big fat wrapped and labeled medical marijuana joint in one of the seats at the tip rail.



The shift before last (Friday) was fetish night in the custy hive mind. One guy tipped me on stage and really wanted me to come sit with him. It's been a slow week, and he was the only guy tipping at all that stage set, so I went over to him first thing. No sooner had I sat down than he told me he ordered me a slice of cake. He seemed really giddy and excited about it, and the order had been placed, so I was all "Ooookay." The cake came and he scooted his chair super close to mine and was all, "Can I watch you eat?" Again... oookay. I took one bite and apparently that was the sexiest thing this guy ever saw. Then he wanted to feed me, so I let him give me two bites. The cake was amazing and super rich, so it made a good excuse to be all, "Mmm, lets dance now." So for my three bites of delicious cake, I got tipped $40. In hind sight, I should've charged him a butt load more, but as I said, this week has been sloooooooow. I was too star struck by the easy $40 tip and the bonus free cake to think about that until a good while later.
Then there was a guy who was paying me to sit and chat with him by the song instead of dance. We were chatting about how both our parents had homesteads and compared notes on raising and butchering various farm animals/storing food/raising crops... etc. (sexy stuff, am I right?). Then things got creepy weird. Potential super gore/violence against animals warning. His family's preferred chicken killing method involved ripping their heads off with nails hammered just so into a board. He went into some graphic detail about that whole process and was getting really excited the more he talked. Like, during and after that, he kept grabbing at and rubbing his crotch and wanted to go "talk" some more in VIP. Yeah, nope. How your family kills their farm animals is your/their business, but I draw a hard line at getting sexually excited at the idea of bloodier, more violent methods of decapitation. That's the stuff you take to anonymous internet chat rooms, not your local, happy-go-lucky strip club.
There was one other guy, but compared to the others, and definitely Mr. Chicken, I can't for the life of me remember what his gig was.
I made $100 which was ok considering there were only 2 guys the entire 5 hours I spent in there. Hey, at least it's something and I'm grateful for it. And I made a new regular, so that's cool.




You know, stripper friends are vital when having it out with a BBB (boyfriend behaving badly.) I'm really glad to have a few core girls that I love to death and we can count on each other for support. I've really needed it.
Whyy has my club been horrible


I made about $500 after cash out, was a slow night for a Friday and didn't have much motivation. Luckily two of my regs stopped by and took care of me.
One of them I cut off but since it was so dumb last night I made up some BS story about why I have been ignoring him... Took him to the back and made $400 off him lol. Some drunk girls were bitches, the two extras girls were cleaning out, usual shit.
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