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Thread: Oh dear god I've just been outed

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    Default Oh dear god I've just been outed

    Oh god last night a great friend of mind just tapped me on the shoulders at my club.ive always thought that I was carefull at protecting my identity since I'm in another country dancing away from my family and friends who would've thought that the world was so damn small for her to out me in a different country ....I'm a nervous wreck all of a sudden the look she has on her face was that she's so better than me ....absolutely terrifying .any words of motivation and inspiration would help my self esteem right now

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    Veteran Member freckles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    I hope you flipped it on her, like, "what the hell are YOU doing here. I'm making *money*. What are YOU doing?" Remember that your job is not illegal, and don't torture yourself with others' opinions of you. Chances are, her "opinion" of you is that you're hotter than her and she wishes people wanted to give her money to see her naked. Jealous bitches.

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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    I've seen it pointed out before in this kind of thread that the person can't out you w/o outing themselves.

    A friend of a friend was giving me sm of that self-righteous shit recently, & I asked her pointblank if she was a virgin. She said no. I told her that, assuming she hadn't had sex for $$ or other material gain, she'd already given away more for free than I had ever or would ever give at work, for anything.

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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    Thanks you guys at least I know who my real friends are and also I know that some people still feel like they r in high school pretending to be upfront holy when they can't cast the first stone

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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    Just relax, breathe. She's just jealous. If worst comes to worst, DENY DENY DENY.

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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    ^Yes, deny, deny, deny is always the best thing, she cannot prove you were there and if she tells people and they tell you then freak out and be like "wtf,!? That girls lying! I have never stripped, shes a hater, ewww" haha, chances are people will believe you cause from your description of her she sounds judgy and therefore may be a bit of a hater and others would have seen this by now making this whole scene believable on your part

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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    I just now read this, and regarding your other post in a different thread about quitting stripping soon because of being outed, are you sure that's something you want to do? Is the "friend" visiting that area or living there? I just think that this is the best possible scenario for being outed given that it's not like this "friend" can plan a quick sightseeing expedition this weekend with other "friends" to further reveal/embarrass you, given that they're in another country.

    Just a thought. Obviously, if you're no longer comfortable, that's that. Good luck with whatever happens next, and don't let this bitch get you down.

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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    Who cares. Don't freak out just carry on. Don't lose out on money because of one silly person. When a guy tries to out you he tries to blackmail you for attention and when it's a woman she usually just wants to put you down/make you sweat. In both cases if you ignore them they usually get bored and it usually doesn't go further than that.

    I wouldn't worry what people in another country thought about what I was doing unless you plan on seeing them anytime soon.

    I know it seems scary but nothing that terrible can happen. When it happened to me I couldn't sleep for days but in the end nothing really came of it.


    Quote Originally Posted by twistedprincess View Post
    I wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole and someone else's dick.
    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    freeloaders annoy the fuck out of most of us
    Quote Originally Posted by funismymiddlename View Post
    im not breaking my ass for a dollar

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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    i havent quit yet i was thinking of quitting for a long time now and just cam full out i guess what happen the other night just encouraged me more to quit while im ahead thanks for all the words of advise its now looking more and more like no big deal to me .this is definitely the site to come to with problems like these when i cant talk to anyone else so thank you guys

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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    A few yrs ago i tried Vegas after being told by my "best friend" not to try it that it was very intimidating , they wouldn't hire me blah blah & what do ya know, I went there by myself & got hired on the spot & made $900 my first night!!! She was out there working also & we bumped into each other at the same club & she was shocked that I was there making $$ whilst she was sitting alone at the bar smoking all night complaining. It's hard to trust anyone in this buisness it seems~ I'd just ignore her & hustle your ass off & show her who's HoT
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    I really wouldn't quit just because of that one incident.

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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    Find better friends. Honestly will always, always, always be better than hiding the truth. If your family can't handle it, cut them out of your life. If any one of my friends or family ever judged me or looked down on me for dancing, I would not have them in my life. There is no reason to have such closemindedness like that in your life in 2013.

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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    Quote Originally Posted by xcatxbrownx View Post
    Find better friends. Honestly will always, always, always be better than hiding the truth. If your family can't handle it, cut them out of your life. If any one of my friends or family ever judged me or looked down on me for dancing, I would not have them in my life. There is no reason to have such closemindedness like that in your life in 2013.

    Well said girlie
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




    "Respect is a dying art"

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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    I remember the first time I had people from my "real" life see me at work. I cried hysterically the whole way home which was like a 2 hour trip. Then they came back with more people from my high school like a week afterwards. I was livid. They wrote about it without mentioning my name on Facebook. I was the girl in high school that was in all honors classes and miss popular. The people that saw me were what I considered losers in high school so I was really embarrassed at first. But I realized that if I'm ashamed of dancing, then I shouldn't be dancing. I wrote something on Facebook along the lines of "Write what you want about me but at the end of the day, I make in a night what you make in a month" and suddenly my feed wasn't filled with "I can't believe she strips blah blah" posts. Very shortly after that, I no longer saw the need to give people I don't care about a way to stay in contact with me so I deleted Facebook/twitter/everything else.

    During the second time that the people were in my club, I was hiding out in the dressing room and this other dancer asked me why I wasn't out on the floor and I told her. She said "This is your job. My dad could walk in here right now and I'd still be on stage, titties out, trying to get rained on. I'm here for money, that's all I care about". That was the little pep talk I needed. Basically my entire hometown knows that I strip now but I couldn't care less. It's not a secret, it's my job. I periodically see people from my hometown at work and I stopped noticing them long ago. I don't even go up to say hello. I only see them when they come up and try to talk or tip me. The funny thing about my hometown knowing that I strip is that it means they're all still living there, meanwhile, stripping has allowed me to move out of that state alone at 19 and now at 22, I'm living alone in a penthouse overlooking New Jersey and Manhattan. The view is nice 22 floors up. If it wasn't for stripping, I'd be like the people that wrote about me on Facebook, still living in my shitty hometown with my parents.

    This isn't a forever thing. Stripping is what you make it. It can be a lucrative job that gets you to where you want to be in the future or it can be a terrible job that gets you nothing but some spending money and grief. Other people might not get it or respect it but really, what do their opinions matter in the big scheme of things? It's actually good that stripping is looked down upon. If every one liked stripping, it wouldn't be lucrative. I wish that public opinion on stripping was worse cause then we'd probably all make more money. Anyway, are you happy? Are your bills paid? Those are the things that matter.

    If she comes back to your club and taps you on the shoulder, ask her if she wants a dance, and if she says no, move on to the next customer cause that's all she is, another customer.

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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    ^^ OMG I love this Well said!
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




    "Respect is a dying art"

    "Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box"


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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    Quote Originally Posted by LexyNYC View Post
    I remember the first time I had people from my "real" life see me at work. I cried hysterically the whole way home which was like a 2 hour trip. Then they came back with more people from my high school like a week afterwards. I was livid. They wrote about it without mentioning my name on Facebook. I was the girl in high school that was in all honors classes and miss popular. The people that saw me were what I considered losers in high school so I was really embarrassed at first. But I realized that if I'm ashamed of dancing, then I shouldn't be dancing. I wrote something on Facebook along the lines of "Write what you want about me but at the end of the day, I make in a night what you make in a month" and suddenly my feed wasn't filled with "I can't believe she strips blah blah" posts. Very shortly after that, I no longer saw the need to give people I don't care about a way to stay in contact with me so I deleted Facebook/twitter/everything else.

    During the second time that the people were in my club, I was hiding out in the dressing room and this other dancer asked me why I wasn't out on the floor and I told her. She said "This is your job. My dad could walk in here right now and I'd still be on stage, titties out, trying to get rained on. I'm here for money, that's all I care about". That was the little pep talk I needed. Basically my entire hometown knows that I strip now but I couldn't care less. It's not a secret, it's my job. I periodically see people from my hometown at work and I stopped noticing them long ago. I don't even go up to say hello. I only see them when they come up and try to talk or tip me. The funny thing about my hometown knowing that I strip is that it means they're all still living there, meanwhile, stripping has allowed me to move out of that state alone at 19 and now at 22, I'm living alone in a penthouse overlooking New Jersey and Manhattan. The view is nice 22 floors up. If it wasn't for stripping, I'd be like the people that wrote about me on Facebook, still living in my shitty hometown with my parents.

    This isn't a forever thing. Stripping is what you make it. It can be a lucrative job that gets you to where you want to be in the future or it can be a terrible job that gets you nothing but some spending money and grief. Other people might not get it or respect it but really, what do their opinions matter in the big scheme of things? It's actually good that stripping is looked down upon. If every one liked stripping, it wouldn't be lucrative. I wish that public opinion on stripping was worse cause then we'd probably all make more money. Anyway, are you happy? Are your bills paid? Those are the things that matter.

    If she comes back to your club and taps you on the shoulder, ask her if she wants a dance, and if she says no, move on to the next customer cause that's all she is, another customer.
    Thank you for sharing this really helped

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    Member Megamind69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh dear god I've just been outed

    Quote Originally Posted by LexyNYC View Post
    I remember the first time I had people from my "real" life see me at work. I cried hysterically the whole way home which was like a 2 hour trip. Then they came back with more people from my high school like a week afterwards. I was livid. They wrote about it without mentioning my name on Facebook. I was the girl in high school that was in all honors classes and miss popular. The people that saw me were what I considered losers in high school so I was really embarrassed at first. But I realized that if I'm ashamed of dancing, then I shouldn't be dancing. I wrote something on Facebook along the lines of "Write what you want about me but at the end of the day, I make in a night what you make in a month" and suddenly my feed wasn't filled with "I can't believe she strips blah blah" posts. Very shortly after that, I no longer saw the need to give people I don't care about a way to stay in contact with me so I deleted Facebook/twitter/everything else.

    During the second time that the people were in my club, I was hiding out in the dressing room and this other dancer asked me why I wasn't out on the floor and I told her. She said "This is your job. My dad could walk in here right now and I'd still be on stage, titties out, trying to get rained on. I'm here for money, that's all I care about". That was the little pep talk I needed. Basically my entire hometown knows that I strip now but I couldn't care less. It's not a secret, it's my job. I periodically see people from my hometown at work and I stopped noticing them long ago. I don't even go up to say hello. I only see them when they come up and try to talk or tip me. The funny thing about my hometown knowing that I strip is that it means they're all still living there, meanwhile, stripping has allowed me to move out of that state alone at 19 and now at 22, I'm living alone in a penthouse overlooking New Jersey and Manhattan. The view is nice 22 floors up. If it wasn't for stripping, I'd be like the people that wrote about me on Facebook, still living in my shitty hometown with my parents.

    This isn't a forever thing. Stripping is what you make it. It can be a lucrative job that gets you to where you want to be in the future or it can be a terrible job that gets you nothing but some spending money and grief. Other people might not get it or respect it but really, what do their opinions matter in the big scheme of things? It's actually good that stripping is looked down upon. If every one liked stripping, it wouldn't be lucrative. I wish that public opinion on stripping was worse cause then we'd probably all make more money. Anyway, are you happy? Are your bills paid? Those are the things that matter.

    If she comes back to your club and taps you on the shoulder, ask her if she wants a dance, and if she says no, move on to the next customer cause that's all she is, another customer.
    Thank you for sharing this really helped

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