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Thread: Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

  1. #1
    Senior Member adarksideoftown's Avatar
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    Default Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

    ...Or perhaps stress in general?

    Every morning when I wake up next to my boyfriend, knowing that at some point during the day I have to cam, I become a total nightmare.

    I ask him to please (except I don't say please) leave our bedroom so I can have some "alone" time and pull myself together.

    This morning after doing my skin routine I came out to grab some peaches from the refrigerator, and he was simply lying there on the couch and was sort of quiet in how he responded to me, and I completely lost it. "Why are you trying to sabotage me by bringing my mood down?!!?!" Bear in mind, I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, so this kind of hyper-sensitivity to subtle things like perceived intentions and assuming that a blank facial affect means someone hates me, is not entirely uncommon on my part.

    I have no doubt that I am an extreme example, but does anyone else get more pissy than they may otherwise be when camming looms on the immediate horizon? I think partially, I get this way because I have the stress of making ends meet, and know that I can't be a complete bitch in public chat or no one will take me exclusive, so every ounce of effort to be socially non-reprehensible is allotted towards the time I am at work. That's why sometimes I think I would work better if I were single, but then there's that pesky, nagging inability to be all by myself.

    For example, he just asked if I needed my bed made (for work, he knows I get more stressed out if the bed is messy and the already-uncomfortable position I am in for maximizing the lighting/backdrop in the room becomes more uncomfortable as a result) and it really pissed me off. I shook my head no, but my inclination (though, at least this time, I will resist - ah, the power of writing down one's thoughts/feelings) is to storm out of the room when I'm done posting this and scream at him that he didn't wait there at the door for me to finish and then make the bed. Even when he's trying to be HELPFUL it pisses me off - and I'm normally a flighty, easily-triggered bitch, but not THAT bad.

    I guess I try to start off every single day with the best possible intentions. And then when little things "subtract" from the positive mood I've fought tooth-and-nail to erect, I start to lose my footing very rapidly. It was the same when I was younger and in school; I was socially anxious due to being incessantly bullied, I couldn't concentrate, and I was generally disinterested, so my Mother suffered the brunt of it - in horrendous proportions.

    Can anyone relate?

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    God/dess justanothercamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

    It doesn't turn me into a total bitch but it does turn me into a total hermit.

    I just don't want to deal with people.

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  4. #3
    Senior Member adarksideoftown's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

    Quote Originally Posted by justanothercamgirl View Post
    It doesn't turn me into a total bitch but it does turn me into a total hermit.

    I just don't want to deal with people.
    I get that way, too. But the bitch thing needs to relent more than a tad. I threw a wine glass the other day and it shattered into the carpet, and my boyfriend just stepped on a residual shard and I got mad at him for distracting me by dancing (or perhaps writhing) around in agony. I actually said, "bleed quieter." ...Yeah, I'm a gem.

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    Default Re: Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

    Actually, camming makes me want to meet with, and deal with people more than usual, so I can get my reassurance that normal people (men) still exist out there in real life. I'm a Scorpio and being a typical one, I easily lose my temper, hard to control it especially when not in public. I don't have a boyfriend though, I'm forever single, so usually my mother suffers the most.

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    Senior Member adarksideoftown's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

    .....
    Last edited by adarksideoftown; 07-24-2013 at 01:53 PM.

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    Member Alessiaxox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

    @JAC Ha! Me too. I'm starting to enjoy being a hermit way to much lol Like yesterday at the park some lady was sitting there with her kids and I was like "Dammit I don't want to talk to her right now" I felt bad because my kiddo was with me so I sucked it up and sat the far end of the park by myself with a book while he played with the kids. I'm glad it's not rubbing off on him though he's a social butterfly even at 1 year old.

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    Veteran Member Renton's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

    Stress in general makes me an even bigger bitch than I already am. Usually the boyfriend is spared though, but I do hate everyone and everything else... more than usual. I also tend to just lock myself up in my house, 'cause I might just snap and I'd rather avoid arguing when I'm in a mood like that, I end up saying things I don't mean and get really vicious.

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    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

    Quote Originally Posted by justanothercamgirl View Post
    It doesn't turn me into a total bitch but it does turn me into a total hermit.

    I just don't want to deal with people.
    After camming, tweeting, answering emails all day long, I don't feel social enough to go out with friends or date.
    To hear the same bs from men when out & about it just to much so I just stay home.

    Sam

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    Veteran Member LilyAnderson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

    my boyfriends exact words today were,
    "you're FINE when you're not online. but when you're getting ready to cam, you're just... a bitch"

    don't feel bad darling

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    Veteran Member Graceface's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

    I compartmentalize pretty well, but if I feel like someone is trying to start shit with me before I go online, I shut them down. Turn the phone off, kick them out the house, whatever. That energy you spend being pissed off, or fighting can be better used for your hustle.

    If you're in my life, you know better than to fuck with my money. Starting shit with me before I go to work (any job) is emotional manipulation, especially now that I'm camming full time.

    That being said, I don't think camming has made me more bitchy. ...pretty sure I was born this way. /gaga

    You'll have good days and bad days. Try to stock pile videos, pics, etc. that can make you laugh or lift your mood.

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    Default Re: Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

    are you doing well just camming? I don't mean to intrude I'm trying to make 1000 weekly but so far the most I have made is 900 but avg 3-400 which is not enough to pay my bills

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    Veteran Member Deaddolly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

    Maybe you'd feel less anxious if you cammed at the same time everyday. Camming doesn't make me feel like a bitch unless I've waited to the last minute to raise money for something. If I cam everyday I don't get nervous even if I made $0 because I know I stuck to my shift and tried my best. And a super good day will come that will average everything out. When you skip days its easier to skip more days and then you wonder why you didn't make your goal.lol You have to turn your cam on.

    If you need the money you obviously can't stop but just push through it your customers will never know we are actors after all. You'll love camming again it comes in cycles just hang in there.

    Get yourself in the zone first. Listen to your favorite music, eat some food, look at yourself in the mirror then cam. Not being calm before starting is always a disaster. You have to set yourself up for sucess. And not let the little things erode at your mood.

    And your bf isn't helping lol. He needs to scoot out of the room asap. I wouldn't talk to him about camming stuff at all. He wouldn't understand and it'll only upset you. I don't talk about some aspects of camming with my boyfriend. It helps me to refrain from punching him.

    Let's just say he thinks some girls cam for "attention". No thanks that why I come to SW don't want to talk to bf about camming.


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    Default Re: Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

    Yes. I can relate. I do it every single day. I hate it. When I'm on cam, I'm happy and bubbly and love talking to people, but when I go through my day KNOWING that camming is on the horizon, I get awful. Super awful. Sometimes flailing on the bed screaming awful. Because I just hate dealing with it some nights. There's the added stress of being the moneymaker, uncertain every week if bills will be made (even with $500+ paychecks) and it's just a hot mess. The next few weeks I need $1000+ ever week. I feel bad for the two guys that live with me, and one of them is my husband.

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    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does camming-related stress turn you into a total bitch?

    No, camming doesn't! I've always been very cunty! I blame it all on my Whoremones!
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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