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Thread: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

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    Default Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    Okay, so I just got hired at this upscale club, I am only one of maybe 3 or 4 black girls and the rest are white and hispanic. So I do notice that many of the girls looks all kinds of ways, young, old, skinny, thuck...whatever.

    Im very slender, not the skinniest...the other black dancer I work with is very slim. Now, she doesnt approach customers at all...becuase she is intimidated. I still manage to approach...

    ...Now, I have noticed, when Im dancing...when a white customer comes up, they tip me, wink at me from far away, and look, but the moment I walk over there to talk, they soon get very "nervous" I guess and they say, "Oh, Im just watching." But let a white or a latina walk over there and they are off in the corner dancing. What the heck is up with that...now I work in the morning, and Idk if its a morning/night thing but I know many black women can BANK at these types of clubs. But I am tryung to see how I can with them if they are going to act ao shy.

    Ladies...black, white, hispanic...please let me know. This is a club where the basketball players, lawyers, business men, millionares hang out at...all dressed down. What the heck is it?

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    maybe its the way you are approaching? do they do this with ALL other black dancers? and its JUST the white men doing this? what im trying to say is, maybe race has nothing to do with this? idk...

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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    How are you approaching? Maybe you're coming off too aggressive and making them uncomfortable?

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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    When they say something like that, I would say "thats okay, is it your first time here"? Break the ice. Don't just let him get away with that sorry excuse. He's there to spend money, you just have to make him spend it.

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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    When they say something like that, I would say "thats okay, is it your first time here"? Break the ice. Don't just let him get away with that sorry excuse. He's there to spend money, you just have to make him spend it.
    ^I agree with this 100%. Also, change your hustle to suit your customer. If a customer is shy, regardless of their race, they can take time (so don't just throw the "wanna dance" line their way, it's impersonal). Chat to them, ask them questions, "get to know them" for a song or two and build a slight rapport before trying to close the sale.

    Check hustle hut too-there might be a similar thread there .
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    When they say something like that, I would say "thats okay, is it your first time here"? Break the ice. Don't just let him get away with that sorry excuse. He's there to spend money, you just have to make him spend it.
    ^It happens in real life too don't let them get away with it. If they tipped you they obviously like you it's up to you to show them that you don't bite are friendly and to close the sale.

    I may be wrong but for those men to do that they must not hang out with as many black people in their personal lives. Because to simply be real about it not all but alot of older guys don't hang out with others outside their race past high school when they were forced too. It's not a racist thing it's just that most people hang out with those that are most similar and have similar backgrounds and interests. For example if a guy had to choose out of a black or white girl which was more likely to be into rock music. He'd probably pick the white girl every time even if it wound up not being correct. We're just not on their radar in some regards due to assumptions of differences in interests, attitudes etc. But its up to you for your personality to shine through and prove otherwise.

    I also think some guys worry about others will think. White, Hispanic, Asian, and even mixed black girls are considered "safer"/ more socially acceptable choices. To put it bluntly they might be hesitant to be the guy with "the black girl".

    Pretty women are pretty period. I've had guys tell me "I don't even like black girls but I like you" Translation "You're the only black girl I've found attractive so far." Backwards compliment but I'll take it. Those same kind of guys will ignore you when they're with a group of friends but get a dance when he's at the club alone.

    My Finnish boyfriend has only ever dated black women. And he's told me that when he talks with his guy friends he doesn't bring up his preference for black women anymore because the conversation get's really stupid really fast. Once again not a racist thing just a curiosity/assumption thing. And ask questions like "what's it like?". Or will tease him about it. So the guys at the club might be worried what the other guys will think. I've noticed sometimes when a white male gets a dance from a black dancer the other guys in the club might look kind of jealous but would be too nervous to get a dance from her himself.

    If they're shy you might need to spend a little more time getting to know them at first. Then close the sale.


    Quote Originally Posted by twistedprincess View Post
    I wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole and someone else's dick.
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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    Maybe try approaching them from the side instead of frontal?

    The book Superflirt (by Tracey Cox) talks about how men generally react more positively to being approached by the side, as opposed to the front (subconsciously confrontational). And with women, the opposite is supposed to be true...
    Google: "superflirt men approached from the side" and you can read that excerpt online.

    I dont know your situation exactly, but I hope that helps a little bit! I recommend getting a copy of that book, it will helpful if you're working at an upscale club.

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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    Also... have you checked out the Dancerwealth program yet? If you haven't, you should! It will help you increase your income at work!

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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    I'd say its the manner in which your approach was made .try approaching them but not directly asking for anything just make conversation let him suggest to you for a dance or whatever else you are offering .another thing could be he tries to stay in his comfort zone try to break them out of it gradually and you can make a nice set of regs after.i know this because for me it's the opposite I work in a club where I'm considered to be the on,y white girl dancing bear in mind I'm not white I'm latina and I have a few problems where the black guys would mostly remain in their comfort zone most the times I ask myself why is that I'm beautiful I'm different and a smart person told me that reason is no one goes to a strip club to complicate what already pleases them so I knw that its my job to gently break the ice and all works out in the end hope this helps

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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    Quote Originally Posted by Summerlove91 View Post

    ...Now, I have noticed, when Im dancing...when a white customer comes up, they tip me, wink at me from far away, and look, but the moment I walk over there to talk, they soon get very "nervous" I guess and they say, "Oh, Im just watching." But let a white or a latina walk over there and they are off in the corner dancing. What the heck is up with that...now I work in the morning, and Idk if its a morning/night thing but I know many black women can BANK at these types of clubs. But I am tryung to see how I can with them if they are going to act ao shy.

    Ladies...black, white, hispanic...please let me know. This is a club where the basketball players, lawyers, business men, millionares hang out at...all dressed down. What the heck is it?
    Try a number of adjustments. You can tweak your look, your approach, and the timing of popping the dance question. You can target singles instead of groups, young instead of old, or vice versa. I too recommend Dancerwealth to adjust and develop your strategy. It helps you evaluate each guy and the style of their personalities. That helps you decide how to sell them. It's all connecting on a deeper level.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    Probably your belief too.

    You'd be surprised at how many non black customers are attracted to and buy dances from black/ethnic dancers.

    Change your belief to allow Yourself to be pleasantly surprised.

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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    A couple of days ago:

    A regular at my club, an older white man with white hair (senior citizen), he bought me a drink and told me, "I like black girls now. I didn't think I did before, but I do now. It started last month. Sometimes I go in to the club next door. They have one or two white girls but the rest of them are black, all those girls are really nice and very pretty! I like their nice white teeth. "

    He showed me a photo on his phone of a beautiful black model, the one who changed his mind and his entire worldview. He called her "My First Black Girl."

    You could be That Girl! Maybe they're nervous because they find themselves attracted to you, but you are their "first" (as awkward as that sounds).
    It sounds like you already have their interest, now you just need to reel them in. Find out what it takes to make them want more of you, or to feel comfortable around you at close-range.

    Sometimes I hear that from customers too. They'll say, "I never liked Asian women before, but now I'm changing my mind," and it feels like such a huge victory, as if I'm doing activist work in the club... changing race-based preconceptions and making the world a better place just by being sexy...! hahah

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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    Don't let "I'm just watching" deter you from selling to them. Lots of men tell me they "just stopped by to have a beer." Doesn't matter - you're here so you're getting hustled anyway!

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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    Yeah I agree with everyone else, truth be told guys of all races use that line, but keep talking about anything. I use the side approach thing and ill put my hand on his arm to make him feel at ease. Usually after a few mins of me chatting about absolutely nothing, most guys will go get a few dances bc they warmed up to me or they will get a dance or two to get me to go the hell away. Either way you closed a sale. You might have a a couple who really dont want a dance, but you can tell by their body language and you charge them to the game.

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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    Im having the exact same problem. I summed it up to fact that I'm 5'11 without heels with a big butt. when im on the stage its winks and smiles but once i get off the stage to talk to people its like pulling teeth. I dont think i'm aggressive in the way i talk im very bubbly but I think my height and my curves makes them nervous. They sit with their mouths open looking crazy lol. They seem to be so fascinated with my body but its difficult to get them to buy dances or rooms. they always seem to go for the girls that are safe i guess.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    Quote Originally Posted by Liv. View Post
    Im having the exact same problem. I summed it up to fact that I'm 5'11 without heels with a big butt. when im on the stage its winks and smiles but once i get off the stage to talk to people its like pulling teeth. I dont think i'm aggressive in the way i talk im very bubbly but I think my height and my curves makes them nervous. They sit with their mouths open looking crazy lol. They seem to be so fascinated with my body but its difficult to get them to buy dances or rooms. they always seem to go for the girls that are safe i guess.

    ^^ I'm a taller girl too & have noticed I get the same treatment from guys at times. I'm bubbly like you too but I'll usually turn it up a notch when I sit with them to hustle for dances. Asian men are sometimes scared of me bc of my height & tattoos, theres so much to look at with me LOL , I take it as a compliment though.
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




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    Default Re: Why do White customers wink, tip, but shy away when being approached?

    Quote Originally Posted by Liv. View Post
    They sit with their mouths open looking crazy lol.
    LOL

    Thanks for the visual.


    Quote Originally Posted by twistedprincess View Post
    I wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole and someone else's dick.
    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    freeloaders annoy the fuck out of most of us
    Quote Originally Posted by funismymiddlename View Post
    im not breaking my ass for a dollar

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