This time last year I was rushed to hospital with serious health concerns. I completely understand how much panic things like this can just throw you in, all whilst having the prospect of the
same bills to pay and the
same "business as usual" shit on your shoulders. The prospect of logging on to actually
cam and be sexy and entertaining is the
last thing you feel capable of when you are suffering.
You can outline to yourself - the bare minimum of what you feel capable of.. If you can't smile, don't smile.. don't even show your face if you don't want to. Don't feel like talking? Don't. You can type. Even if the least you can do is show your
feet on cam, you can do so. Even if you don't feel like entertaining live and dealing with guests.. you can record clips. And even then, you can do as you wish - you can show any part of you that you want to, and you can film whenever you want to.
Take time out
often, as and when you need to and, most importantly,
allow yourself the time to
enjoy that free space and time as
much as you can and
don't feel guilty for it. Your well-being is so, so important, and stress takes a big toll on your body and mind. If health concerns are already preying constantly on your mind, stress can end up aggravating any existing symptoms you may feel.
There have been times where months have just
flown past because I've been so overwhelmed with stress, and just being
conscious of the fact that I'm
trying to enjoy some quiet time in the bath or something has reduced me to tears because I've been
so full of tension the whole time that I didn't even feel like I
could possibly stop. But then the realization of the fact that I am in the bath at least
trying to relax hits me so hard and I feel so grateful that I'm actually
attempting such a thing at all.
Every
little thing helps, and every little thing - however seemingly small or even insignificant - mounts up, even if you are just watching a cherished movie or (if your concentration is difficult to maintain due to stress), putting on some music and doodling.
My thoughts are with you. <3 I hope you give us an update with how everything goes.

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