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Thread: One day I woke up and...

  1. #1
    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default One day I woke up and...

    Suddenly, I started hating stripping. Is like, a force field is surrounding the strip clubs around me and if I dare to get close to one, my body will not move forward.

    I have no idea what had caused this sudden hatred. I never really had bad experiences (like sexual assault, for example) that could make me hate stripping. Some crappy managers here and there had been the worst aspect, but that's it. I got along with most dancers, did somewhat ok (still better than any vanilla job), wore as little clothes as possible, I looked good at any size, etc. So with so many positives experiences I had have dancing, why I now hate it completely?!
    Last edited by Jay12; 08-04-2013 at 01:00 AM.





  2. #2
    Veteran Member BANHammerGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    I've had that happen too, and it ALWAYS has to do with crappy management either lying to me about the club being busy, or else reaming me a new one for things that, as a stripper and an indie contractor, are not my responsibility.

    I haven't really found an answer except travelling to work and trying out new clubs but even then it takes awhile for me to gear up and be excited about going back to work at a new club.

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    Do you still work as a dancer? If no then its not really an issue that has to be sorted immediately, you can just allow the feelings and usually it runs its own course.

    If you still earn income dancing, well it's up to you- if you have moved on then your brain just has too catch up, or you can have some counselling/talk with a great friend to try and get some clarity.

    Sometimes its better to accept and go withthe flow than try to analyse the shit out of life.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    God/dess arielbriel's Avatar
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    COuld it be something to do with having a baby?

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    Veteran Member MysteriousMisty's Avatar
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    Quote Originally Posted by BANHammerGoddess View Post
    I've had that happen too, and it ALWAYS has to do with crappy management either lying to me about the club being busy, or else reaming me a new one for things that, as a stripper and an indie contractor, are not my responsibility.

    I haven't really found an answer except travelling to work and trying out new clubs but even then it takes awhile for me to gear up and be excited about going back to work at a new club.
    When I began to hate stripping, I thought it was due to the fact I was in a crappy, filthy ass club with tacky management. I was thrilled to be back at my old club but the positive feelings began to fade as the crowd decreased with word getting out that the club would be closing. I was happy once more to be at the next club where the money was great but that club quickly went down hill (lack of customers) and again crappy management because they wanted 30% of whatever you made if it was $100 or more. I bounced around to numerous clubs and one day my hatred of dancing came and never left even when I wound up in a great club that managed to stay in business. I've been out of dancing for over a year now with no intentions of going back. Yes, a baby can change your feelings about dancing but I'm pretty certain that I'd feel negative even if motherhood wasn't the issue.

    Maybe it varies for everyone but sooner or later its time to change careers. I didn't want to wind up dancing for 15-20 years, I was fed up with housefees (which can be stressful because you never really know if you're gonna make money) tired of being cold and finding a club with decent management isn't easy. If you really hate dancing, I advise you to get out ASAP. Remaining in something you hate will only make you unhappy in the end. In the last years I danced, I began to understand why so many dancers drink. They're either alcoholics to begin with or they just drink in order to get through a shift. It's hard as hell trying to get yourself ready to go into a club you don't want to be at, wishing you could turn around and go home the second you park your car or hand it over to valet and then force yourself to chat with customers (and some customers who aren't even very bright).

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    Featured Member Tsepmet1's Avatar
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    Dun dun dun... Welcome to burnout! Population: You!

    I understand how you're feeling. Take a break for awhile (my last break lasted 5 months), and get back to it when you start feeling better!


    *hug*

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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    Could you be depressed in general? Mine tends to manifest in hating my job (along with other things of course).

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  12. #8
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    Take a break, work a vanilla job. If you want to come back make sure you feel super sexy, tweak your look and buy some sexy outfits, whatever it takes to make it fun and exciting.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    No advice to offer you dear, sorry but I hope it gets better for ya..& hugs too


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    I dont think anyone likes dancing 24/7. I agree take a break and then go back and try another club. But if this job is making you feel bad about yourself, like disgusted then yeah i would suggest you get out of it.

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  17. #11
    Senior Member Tarasaurusrex's Avatar
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    This is normal I think (happened to me quite a few times).....it means time for a break!
    "I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act." - Abraham Maslow

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  19. #12
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    Literally as soon as I wake up on work days I have this feeling like I have a black cloud hanging over my head. I feel super sad and anxious and dread going in. But then when I go in I have fun. I'm making OK money for summer, I don't have issues with management {though other girls I'm friendly with do}, and I laugh it off when people are douches or handle it on my own. I actually kind of enjoy being at work. I can't explain or understand why the heck this happens!

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    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsepmet1 View Post
    Dun dun dun... Welcome to burnout! Population: You!

    I understand how you're feeling. Take a break for awhile (my last break lasted 5 months), and get back to it when you start feeling better!


    *hug*
    This...100% Im not a stripper, but an escort. And I have to say, I love it...so many times I have said to myself "I freaking LOVE my job!" things are great, Im on a roll, then one day I wake up and Im like "fuck this shit!" LoL Nothings changed, nothing bad has happened, I cant explain it..I'm just done. its always sudden and without warning... I take a break (just coming off a 2 month break right now...usually its just a couple weeks) and then when I get back to it Im all excited to get back to work again.

    Im the burnout queen...I can burn out of pretty much anything really (Ive done domination, phone, cam and now this) and since I know I go through this, when times are good I save up as much as I can, so that when I do hit moments like that, I have something to live off of while I decompress. Some people never hit that, others like me hit it several times a year. So dont think of it as a reflection of your job or think something is wrong with you, but as a sign that you need to take some time off and clear your head. Maybe plan for time to not work and go somewhere to have some fun as something to look forward to. Even we need vacations!!!
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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  23. #14
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    I believe I have been burnt out for years. I rarely go in and have fun anymore because it has become routine for almost every night to be a non-moneymaking night. The only times I have fun anymore are when the customers are tipping everyone. Not when they are picking favorites, and only those select girls make money.

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    Newbie Lana_T's Avatar
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    Did you see anything upsetting? Sometimes things don't have to happens to you specifically, but being around an unpleasant situation can trigger that feeling. I know because I'm just back from a long break (so no burned out here) and on my 3rd week I decided to try a day shift at another club and all was going well when I saw a costumer finger fuck another dancer in the ass right there in the floor. That made me feel like a piece of trash and I just wanted to disappear. I put my clothes on and got the hell out of that place. Have not gone back nor worked up the nerve to try another club...

    I'm not a prude. I'm aware of the extras that goes on in the rooms and even the touching and grabbing we all have to put up with it. But seeing that scene made me feel ashamed of being a stripper, something I NEVER felt in my 6 years of stripping.

    Hope you'll feel better soon.

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    Featured Member Aurora14's Avatar
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    I feel like I'm living your life sometimes. Our lives are so similar between working and having the babies and life in general. I woke up this morning to my a-ha moment. Tonight I'm packing up my locker and asking my boss if I can be a guest dancer. In my club guest dancers come in randomly and pay $40 to work each night. I went back on my meds and just don't want to do this anymore.

    Are these feelings bleeding into everyday life? If so, talk to your OB. sometimes postpartum can take up to a year to develop and your Dr can help you find resources to help. If not, it's burnout like Tsepmet1 said. Hits you like a train and the only cure is taking a complete break from it.

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    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    Money is good but strip clubs are a place where you get to see the worst and most base side of people consistently. That has to wear on a person after a while. After a while all the negative karmic energy pools up to where the dam is going to break and the only way to keep going at that point is to die a little inside. Well that is my own personal experience, not sure about anyone elses.

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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    You feel dancing is bad karma? I do agree that this profession numbs you but if felt I was dying in side i would definitely stop

    Quote Originally Posted by lifetravelergirl View Post
    Money is good but strip clubs are a place where you get to see the worst and most base side of people consistently. That has to wear on a person after a while. After a while all the negative karmic energy pools up to where the dam is going to break and the only way to keep going at that point is to die a little inside. Well that is my own personal experience, not sure about anyone elses.

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    ^ Thanks, we are our own choices so make them positive.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: One day I woke up and...

    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticBeauty4U View Post
    You feel dancing is bad karma? I do agree that this profession numbs you but if felt I was dying in side i would definitely stop
    I can understand how this would make sense. However, dancing can be a real catch 22. If you quit, you may have to take a cut in income and work a low paying minimum wage job. That may cause serious issues in being able to survive. On the other hand peace of mind may develop with quitting.. Nevertheless, one may not be able to pay all the bills if she walks away from dancing...

    Then we go to the numbness factor..I have been dancing for a long time. Imho, I personally can agree with having to numb urself out to do this job.

    Perhaps many girls do not see how destructive dancing is to one's overall self...I know many of us justify dancing by pointing out the many positive aspects of the job...But in reality the negatives are pretty crippling at times...The customers picking u apart, other dancers judging u...its pretty difficult just to mentally survive. It takes a strong mind to make it in this job.

    I completely understand what the OP is saying as well as lifetravelergirl.

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