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Thread: New to FBSM....Some Silly Questions

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    Default New to FBSM....Some Silly Questions

    Hey guys. I went back and searched from older threads and read everything I can. I just started doing nude FBSM (no FS). I danced forever in a very high contact city, so the transition has been fine. I know alot of you guys say independent is the way to go, but for now I am working at a place and it's been ok so far. So, I just have a few questions for anyone that does this. Do you actually try and give the guy a decent 'massage'? Meaning, similar to what you would get from a legit massage place. Or, do you do more a light sensual teasing touch? I seem to have an issue with starting out fine and then the guy wanting to get off the table and get too frisky. I've been trying to really work on giving a decent massage, but I don't know if that is what most other girls do. The tough thing about this as opposed to dancing is that at least as a new dancer you can really watch and study other girls technique to figure out what to do haha. I also am having some trouble with guys that are too touchy for what I am comfy with. I know we can just say no, but how do you handle that? I don't want to get pissy customers and bad reviews, but I also want to draw the line in a way where they still leave happy and I don't compromise what I am comfy with. How do you keep him for the whole session under YOUR control? I seem to have an issue with starting out fine and then the guy wanting to get off the table and get too frisky. I wish I could scream just shut up, lay down on your stomach and roll over when I say! At the place I work, the ending is obviously expected. But, some of the girls offer more (although it was made clear to me that is not required or expected). I am fine with light touching, but not cool when some dude wants to put his fingers where they don't belong. Everyone has their limits ya know? So any advice? Maybe I just need to grow some balls and be bitchier

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    Default Re: New to FBSM....Some Silly Questions

    I can give you some customer perspective:
    - At most (all?) of the good FBSM groups I know of, new girls train with one of the current girls. You'll get to see different massage types, see how she controls how much he touches, etc. Some groups even advertise on enthusiast forums, "training a new girl today, get a 4-hand for the price of 2-hand".
    - Unlike guys who go to AMPs, guys who go for FBSM do appreciate a more skilled massage. It pays dividends to get good at that. Of course, it also pays dividends to figure out how to work in the sensuality. A skilled massage with building sensuality is amazing. Too many girls just do straight massage with no sensuality for 45 minutes, then it's turn-over for the happy ending

    Sorry you're getting so many handsy guys, I generally ask before touching anything that would have been covered by a brazilian style bikini, or more rarely, move my hand so slowly that she knows where it's going and has plenty of time to scamper away (though more than half of my FBSM is FBDSM so mostly there's a lot of begging Your group almost certainly keeps notes on who is relatively more handsy; if they haven't bothered to train you, hopefully you can at least ask that they steer the handsier guys a different direction for a little while.

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    Default Re: New to FBSM....Some Silly Questions

    I appreciate your input. Yes, I have def been trying to give a good massage, and that's a good tip to lead into it being more sensual so it flows nicely. It would have been great to train with someone, but they pretty much threw me out there and hoped I could do it I guess. I assumed since I had worked in clubs for so long, it would be easy enough, but it's going to be a learning curve. I wish all clients were respectful like you, and some have been total gentlemen. But of course, there's always those that are going to push the limits or just assume since maybe its ok because that's what they got away with in the past with other girls. I am not shy, but I really need to be more assertive I guess. At least at the club, I could just walk away or stop dancing for the guy. At FBSM I guess I feel kinda stuck dealing with whoever I get. I think I can make this work, but it's going to take alot of time and getting used to how this all works.

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    Default Re: New to FBSM....Some Silly Questions

    Happy to give you a customer's perspective any time. I wish your group had trained you, I think that is one of the reasons it's worth giving 40% (or whatever) of your earnings to the group when you're a newbie. If you're in SF (you mentioned a high touch strip club area, so I'm guessing), I can point you at groups that do train their new girls. I think the key is, a lot of girls find ways to let their limits be known in playful ways that don't feel like rebukes ... unless the customer continues to push, then a real rebuke may have to occur. In my experience, the cross-job flow is almost strictly from strip clubs to FBSM, and FBSM girls rarely transition to stripping, which to me says something about the satisfaction level, *if* you're comfortable running your own business, finding your own customers, enforcing your own rules without a bouncer, doing HEs, etc.

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    Default Re: New to FBSM....Some Silly Questions

    Hi, Another customer here... Actually a massage whore... LOL. I've said it here before that in my area a professional massage from a licensed trained masseuse is $50 (cash price with tip.), and a mediocre one with a happy ending is more than 2X that... If a real masseuse wanted to offer FBSM, she could clean up.

    As to sensual or firm, I suspect most guys prefer a 'normal' massage because doing sensual right isn't easy. There was a hot MILF offering sensual massage, she didn't allow any touching and commanded a rate close to that of a full service escort. I don't know if I can fully describe what she did even though I had multiple visits. She greeted you clothed or in lingerie, led you to a softly lighted table room, instructed you to get comfortable and lie face down on the table. She pointed out a hook to hang clothes and left. Once she returned, she never stopped touching you, even reaching for more oil, etc. she kept one hand lightly touching you. It was all 'sensual' not a muscle massage. Basically an hour long tease. She left due to a family issue and is still missed...

    As far as avoiding being touched, I'm not 'grabby', but maybe use the technique of moving their arms as you massage? Place their arms by their sides when you are dong their head and neck, move them over their heads when you are working back and legs... Some ladies remove their tops when it's time to 'flip over for the good part'. Maybe make a comment that touching is only allowed on exposed skin and keep your bottoms on? One issue you are having is that with massage places, each lady has her own limits and guys don't know what they are. Good luck!
    Originally Posted by
    I don't know what it is about me that says "wife me up." Everyone wants to choke me or date me. Or both. This job is weird.


    Originally Posted by Nocturnelle
    ... Kittens are assholes but they're just so darn cute.

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    Default Re: New to FBSM....Some Silly Questions

    One last quick point and then I'll shut up. Always worth taking a quick look at your ad to make sure you're not inadvertently inviting touchy behavior, especially if the group manager built your ad for you. If there's text about how much you enjoy mutual touch, dial it back a bit; totally okay to include the line, "I enjoy respectful mutual touch, please ask first". Many girls do that, and as a customer I am not turned off by that language (whereas I am turned off by: "I am not mutual touch", "it's all about you", etc). Assume all your customers follow the rule: "if she shows it in her ad, I get to see it, and probably get to touch it". If you don't work nude, don't pose nude in your ad. If you work nude but don't allow touching your vag, you can have nude pics in your ad but don't show any pink or butthole. Guys are always looking for any subtle sign of an invitation -- make sure you're not giving them one (or several) in your ad -- of course, while still making your ad eye-catching and inviting.

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    Default Re: New to FBSM....Some Silly Questions

    Hi guys great tips. At the place I work, they describe to the guys that there is 'light mutual touching' allowed and it is done nude (although pics are in lingerie). I like the tip of leaving one hand on the client at all times, I noticed my legit massage girl I go to does that and I do think it makes the customer feel they have your undivided attention. I will also try to position my body better when they start getting frisky and if they still don't take the hint, I will just have to speak up and remind them on the 'light touching' thing. One guy I had a very tough time with because he got off the table and was trying quite forcefully to put his fingers inside various orifices (uncool) thinking he was going to get me off? Lesson learned: the guy must remain on the table haha. To answer the above question, I danced in Houston and now I live in PA. I am also going to try and get to know the other girls at work and see if they can offer any tips, but obviously I am the new girl now and no one is trying to be really friendly or helpful. Not mean, just kind of in their own zone. I will keep you guys updated once I work my next shift and implement some of these hints. Thanks so much

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    Default Re: New to FBSM....Some Silly Questions

    Sheesh, rude and disrespectful to say the least.

    Next time just step back and explain that 'the only reason to get off the table is to leave or visit the rest room...'

    Good luck, not all dudes are like that, and it helps explain why first time with a lady may seem like she has lots of rules...

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Little A View Post
    ... <snip> One guy I had a very tough time with because he got off the table and was trying quite forcefully to put his fingers inside various orifices (uncool) thinking he was going to get me off? Lesson learned: the guy must remain on the table haha. ...<snip>
    Originally Posted by
    I don't know what it is about me that says "wife me up." Everyone wants to choke me or date me. Or both. This job is weird.


    Originally Posted by Nocturnelle
    ... Kittens are assholes but they're just so darn cute.

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