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Thread: Am I expecting too much?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member beauvoir's Avatar
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    Default Am I expecting too much?

    I used to cam with a guy fairly regularly. I'd say a few times a week, and over the course of the months that we chatted, he spent, literally, thousands talking to me.

    In June, end of June, I mentioned I was moving to Brighton and he said he would treat me to some vouchers for any online shop I wanted to buy things from for my new house. I told him he didn't need to but he insisted. A few weeks passed and we continued chatting but he never bought me the voucher. I brought it up with him and said that, again, he didn't need to and if he had changed his mind just say, but he said he was busy and he wouldn't forget. We haven't spoken much recently and I'm moving in a week so I text him a week ago and said if he didn't want to buy me the voucher just tell me; he said he would but he wanted a phone call first. I said when I get the voucher I'll call him. He said he would get it for me this week.

    I'm a little pissed off. I never ask, but he offered. I told him multiple times that he didn't have to, that if he changed his mind just say, that I don't need the extra money but time and again he insisted and now he's just annoying me. Part of me wants to drop it and not deal with him again, but the other part of me is thinking "What an asshole. I'm gonna annoy and annoy him until he either makes good on his word, or at least says that he's changed his mind."

    Am I expecting too much?

    xx

  2. #2
    Featured Member Incantatious's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I expecting too much?

    There are three problems I can see with this:

    1. He knows your location.
    2. You are promising your phone number in exchange for $$$$... Thus you give him the tools he needs to help source your exact location, with the added benefit of pestering you with calls whenever he wishes, blurring the line between business and personal.
    3. You do seem to be relying on him too much.



    I get scared when I get a spendy guy like this, precisely because the temptation to expect money from them risks me slacking and / or relying on that one custie is so great, which is a dangerous kind of dependence to have if you cam as your sole income.

    No custie - no matter how much money they have, or how much money they have spent on us - actually owe us anything else. It's nice if they go further, but you cannot force it. Sure it would be great if they did, but how many times has a custie said they'd do something they ended up not doing? How many times has a guests or client promised you money that ended up not going ahead?

    Keep in mind, he isn't your sugar daddy (as wonderful as that would be), and that you are still selling a service, so if I were you, I would try to play this as cool as possible. Pestering a client for money - regardless of whether they promised you the moon or not - wouldn't sit well with me, and doesn't strike me as very professional. He might not have the money right now, and may feel awkward about telling you that you're going to see that cash. If you start trying to squeeze cash or answers, it might put him off ever actually spending on you again if he knows you're being actually needy towards him.

    It's the beginning of August now. If he said he'd do this at the end of June, I would forget it completely.
    If he is continuing to pay you for shows, I would simply concentrate solely on just going on providing him with those shows.





  3. #3
    Veteran Member beauvoir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I expecting too much?

    It would be an email voucher to my work address. Also, he has my number as I have a pre paid sim card for my work phone.

    I think I'll leave it.

    He doesn't come to m y shows anymore. He stopped around beginning of July, but that also coincided with other things he told me about as to why he couldn't cam anymore.

    I'm being lied to. I don't know why it annoys me so much with this particular client.

    Great answer though. Thank you for replying.

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  5. #4
    Featured Member Incantatious's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I expecting too much?

    If he's stopped buying from you altogether his money has probably dried up.. Maybe he'll come back, maybe he won't. It sucks huge dick that he let you down with the vouchers. (I moved myself a while back and I'm still in the process of buying and setting everything up! My heart would probably be in my mouth if someone offered me vouchers to help me get set up that way!) But either way, if I were you I'd just be thankful that he picked me to spend those thousands on in the first place! XD You still got great money from him while it lasted.




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    Veteran Member beauvoir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I expecting too much?

    That's true.

    Waahhhhh. I know I should rationalise and says "Beauvoir, there is a reason he had to pay women to talk to him and it's because of things like this"

    Also, how do I verify myself on here?

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    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I expecting too much?

    I think you are putting too much emphasis on what a man you hardly know said. If he truly wanted to buy you the voucher then he would already have. I would drop it and don't bring it up again. His action is your answer. Talk is cheap!
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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  11. #7
    God/dess kortneykay's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I expecting too much?

    Yes you are. NEVER. I repeat, NEVER put your hopes into a custy no matter how much he spends on you. I already see that you've given him more than he deserved (texting him, etc) and he's using those vouchers to keep your hopes up to get what he wants out of you. I hear guys promising me things all the time and the only ones who actually make due are guys who put up or shut up right there in a session, amazon giftcards, or my husband and family members. I refuse to let someone blow smoke up my ass. A lot of guys promise things when their dicks are hard and it's best to get it right there and then before the boner disappears and they catch a case of amnesia.

    Don't get me wrong, there are guys who make good on their promises but I say "Don't talk about it, be about it." Until they do it, don't let it phase you. I'm sorry you got your hopes up but let this be a lesson to you bb. He may still get it but I don't think you should bug him, especially if you've repeatedly told him that he really didn't have to.




    Believe In Your Brand



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  13. #8
    Veteran Member EvelynHeartsYou's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I expecting too much?

    Quote Originally Posted by beauvoir View Post
    Also, how do I verify myself on here?
    Go to this link and read the two threads listed https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/group.php?groupid=48/


    "I can fix your flat tire. Show me your vagina" -JoJoX

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  15. #9
    God/dess roast's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I expecting too much?

    Quote Originally Posted by beauvoir View Post
    I told him he didn't need to but he insisted. A few weeks passed and we continued chatting but he never bought me the voucher. I brought it up with him and said that, again, he didn't need to and if he had changed his mind just say

    I'm a little pissed off. I never ask, but he offered. I told him multiple times that he didn't have to, that if he changed his mind just say, that I don't need the extra money

    Personally Id say you are expecting too much. Not just bc it is dangerous to rely on someone but you kept saying "No I dont need or want your money"(basically) then would ask him again about it.

    If a customer offers you money, just say yes?

    Then wait for them to send it once they offer, dont change the subject until it happens, unless youre into findomme or something dont pretend you dont need or want it: you do, so accept the gift. That's it. If they dont send it or change the subject in the moment, remind them and stay focused on it, if they still dont send, drop it and move on. closed mouths dont get fed and that whole platitude. Gift cards are a sale, you gotta close it firmly or itll just be a tease for extra attention. If you kept telling him you dont need or want his money... Im unclear why you kept bringing it up or expected it and are now pissed off? Boundaries for sales grooming are on us, being polite or prideful doesnt really get us far. Seriously - If a customer offers you money, just say yes.
    Last edited by roast; 08-05-2013 at 08:38 AM.





    Quote Originally Posted by Procrasturbator View Post
    So how many stumps can you fit in your pussy?


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    Veteran Member tlulu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I expecting too much?

    Quote Originally Posted by ABigNerd View Post
    I'm going to sound bitter here, but I never believe anything anyone promises me until he or she follows through on it.
    ^ This. Whenever a custie says that he's going to get me something, I say "sure," smile and then forget about it until I actually have it in my inbox. There's no point in really expecting all of these promises to always go through; a lot of guys sometimes do it for the extra attention, so don't pester them about it, because that could be all they want.

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    Default Re: Am I expecting too much?

    Quote Originally Posted by kortneykay View Post
    I refuse to let someone blow smoke up my ass. A lot of guys promise things when their dicks are hard and it's best to get it right there and then before the boner disappears and they catch a case of amnesia.
    This is worded perfectly and is some of the wisest advice I have ever heard.

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    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I expecting too much?

    It's not bitter! A wise woman sees things for what they are and people for who they really are!
    Quote Originally Posted by ABigNerd View Post
    I'm going to sound bitter here, but I never believe anything anyone promises me until he or she follows through on it. I have a handful of friends who I believe their word is gold, and I consider myself fortunate to know them.
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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    God/dess Blovely's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I expecting too much?

    I agree with what everyone else said. Also not trying to tell you how to run things but if I were to give someone personal attention like this I'd be making them pay for it. He'd be paying for texts and the only way I'd talk to him on the phone is if he called through niteflirt or brought my phone number and phone time.

    I use to be shy about getting money out of men and I kind of felt guilty about wanting/needing money from these guys. But that mess stopped once I learned more about this business and became more aware and confident of myself. Now I let every single one of my regs and potential customers know that I'm all about that cash. If you ain't spending $$ on me then I don't see or hear you. My time is money and Yes, yes, yes I do want your $$......not need your $$$ but want your $$$.
    Last edited by Blovely; 08-06-2013 at 02:47 AM.

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  24. #14
    Veteran Member beauvoir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I expecting too much?

    Hey, girls

    I'll leave it now. He text me earlier saying "Where is my reminder?" and I told him I wasn't going to bother anymore, that it would be in his hands as I don't have the time.

    Sometimes I have to remind myself that the men who pay us to chat aren't the most socially adept!

    A massive thank you to everyone who replied and offered their opinion and advice. It's really insightful to hear what you guys have to say and I've learned a lot.
    I know well enough to know that most customers are full of shit. I escort as well and when a guy says "Yeah, I'll sort the deposit out later." It's a lie. He's at his computer so I know it's either now or never. Same with guys who use their time up on Skype, then say they'll top up payments later through Adultwork. B/S. Though I did learn that the hard way.

    I try to treat my regulars nicely. The odd text (though only in response to them asking when I'm next online - I never text photos or conversation) and as I escort I have a work with a work number that I use for this. The only other cam guy who has my number is someone who I talk to 2/3 times a week. When I first started and I didnt really know how the site worked or how to set up my phone, he called me on there whilst we private chatted. Now that my phone is set up I don't want to ask for the extra money it will cost him, so I don't know how to go about changing that dynamic. Maybe that's for a different thread...

  25. #15
    Veteran Member beauvoir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I expecting too much?

    He emailed me again this morning asking if amazon vouchers were OK.

    I said yes.

    I continue to wait.

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