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Thread: Drained Sex Drive

  1. #1
    Veteran Member LilyAnderson's Avatar
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    Default Drained Sex Drive

    I've been in a relationship for almost three years with a man named Scott. Lately, my sex drive has went completely down the drain. I'd rather sleep then have sex. Yet when I think of the other men I've been with, I get turned on. Maybe because it's something I can't have. Maybe I'm bored of the sex with Scott. I don't really know. I love this guy, I swear I do. I don't have the heart to leave him just because I force myself to have sex with him. I don't have the heart to cheat.

    Yet, I can't help but think about a single life. I can't help but think about sex with other men. I can't help that it turns me on more then he does. This might be beyond repair, this might just be a phase I'm going through, but I really just...feel like a whore.

    I used to have an unreasonable sex drive. Literally, I could fuck three times a day, every single day.
    It's a miracle if I have sex more then once a week now.

    Meh.

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    Moderator unbeleavable's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drained Sex Drive

    ^ I have the flip of your story, I've had only physical relationships for the last 3 years. I would be interviewed & would have rules to the relationship & would meet once a week to play, both were very successful women. One texted me last week that our time is no more because she found someone & now that I don't have her, I want her more, strange because I never thought I would miss. I'm looking to date again & have someone for me & mine.

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    Veteran Member LilyAnderson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drained Sex Drive

    oh no! gotta get her back! hahaha

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    Moderator unbeleavable's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drained Sex Drive

    The connection of sex is a huge part of a relationship & when it's the only part of the relationship, we look for more...& like yourself without, we look for more.

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    Default Re: Drained Sex Drive

    Have you been working a lot or more than usual lately?

    I find that the more I dance, the more my sex drive lowers. I am really attracted to the guy I'm seeing, enjoy sleeping with him-he's great in bed. But, nothing and no one turns me on or "gets me wet". At least you can still get "turned on" by something (you wouldn't be the first person to think about someone else instead of their partner and you shouldn't feel guilty about it). As soon as I take a brake, my sex drive comes back. Maybe a few days off and some quality time with your boy would help?
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Featured Member LaurenAus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drained Sex Drive

    I think youre over it physically but not emotionally. I agree with your own suspicion that youre bored...what your gonna do about that is up to you. i remember going on a sex herb rampage in my last relationship buying horny goat weed and what not trying to salvage the pieces of a broken sex drive lol it didnt work. Are u set on eventually marrying this guy? if not then...meh
    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    everyone I've fucked who was awful in bed should be forced to have sex with each other so they can all, collectively, figure out why I never called them back.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Nothing makes me feel like less of an adult than walking into several other people's apartments and realizing we all own the exact same lamp from K-mart.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    The fantasy sold to women through out history that a man will come along & rescue us is a lie.

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    Senior Member wendylove's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drained Sex Drive

    something diffrent alawys works or keeps things fresh . i have a boy freind that keeps me happy no need to look for a new man... but i get adventures and thats were my girlfreind comes in she keeps my intrest peeked .... we all know and accpete howw things work and at times live together .... this works for us .... it could be a deal breaker for outhers....

    talk to your boyfreind let him know that your just not as into this as he might think .... role play (tons of fun) talk abought it ... nouthing fucks up things more than him finding out your not happy when he thinks he is rocking your world and you are trying to see the tv during sex..... talk abought it......

  14. #8
    Member spoiledivy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drained Sex Drive

    I don't know what its like to be in a relationship with a guy for that long because my relationships only last 4 a year, but I am in a relationship and have been thinking about whoring lately I feel the exact same way you do. I love my babe but cant get turned on when its time to have sex with him but when I think about some random guy im super wet.... Is that the only problem in your relationship??? Have you tried any herbs or aphrodisiacs?

  15. #9
    Member spoiledivy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drained Sex Drive

    according to alternet.com these are the top 10 aphrodisiac foods

    http://www.alternet.org/story/132846...rodisiac_foods

    1 honey
    2 oysters
    3 garlic
    4 figs
    5 chocolate
    6 basil
    7 bananas
    8 avacados
    9 almonds
    10 asparagus

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    Veteran Member LilyAnderson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drained Sex Drive

    See I've dated this guy for 3 years and we've lived together for 2 and a half. So I think that has a lot to do with it as well.

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    Default Re: Drained Sex Drive

    ^Living with someone definitely has something to do with it-it helps to take the "spark" out of the relationship faster .
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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  19. #12
    Veteran Member beauvoir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drained Sex Drive

    Oh my gosh, same situation entirely.

    I was a sex FIEND (it's why I'm in the industry) and though I love my boyfriend to pieces, most of the time I'd rather cuddle and sleep then fuck. It seems like an effort. I told him this, as I'm a crap liar, and as I didn't know why, I thought maybe we could work it through together.

    You're NOT a whore. AT ALL. I was lucky, my boyfriend and I tried an open relationship and, you know what? It wasn't that hot. Yeah, I could fuck other guys, but I didn't love them. So I would cum, get dressed and leave. It was because I was taking my boyfriend for granted. I assumed he would always be there and I forgot all the things about him that I loved.

    We now have 'date night' once a week. We get dressed up, go out and try something new or exciting in bed. Sometimes it's anal, or a roleplay we want to try. It takes compromise for both of us. I put out when I'm not feeling it, and he doesn't pressure me as much as he did.

    Maybe it's a lifestyle change? Or medication? Or maybe it's just a dry spell as you've been together so long. It's NORMAL and you're NOT a whore.

    But you do need to talk to him about it. Keep him in the loop. Don't tell him what you think might hurt him (boys never need to know you masturbate about other men), but you can't work through it alone.

    xxx

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    Veteran Member Jade62013's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drained Sex Drive

    It sounds like you guys need to have a serious discussion about what's wrong, how you both feel, and where things are headed...

    But I do also remember you saying in chat that you guys have had other issues as well, ones that I can relate to. I am also in a 3 year relationship, we have lots of issues with our lack of a sex life now, and he has been unemployed/lazy for a REALLY long time...those kinds of issues also get in the way.

    Good luck though! No matter what, just remember that you deserve the best!!!

  21. #14
    Curious Guest jallyjames's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drained Sex Drive

    It's the birth command that did it. It's renowned to smaller a woman's sex drive. No marvel with all those artificial hormones in her body......

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