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Thread: No trust...

  1. #1
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    Default No trust...

    So I had this one regular, who’s was about 10 years older than me & hot as hell. I chatted him up the first time he came in and sold him on a room. I felt a real connection to him but its work so I kept it that way. He ended up buying another hour after that and in addition tipped me well.

    Over the next 6 months or so he came in a few times to see me. He didn't give off the creepy vibe and never asked about seeing me outside the club. Then one day he suggested dinner. I try to keep business, business but eh… guess not this time.
    So I told him I would take him out, because I didn't want him to get the impression it was an extension of my services…

    So I bought him dinner, and then he suggested a movie so we decided on Fast & Furious 6… I’m a sucker Vin Diesel. So that night went pretty well. So for like the next two months or so we went out a few more times, and he came into the club a few times.
    Last night though he came into the club, and I guess I think of him as my boyfriend now. I just didn't want him to be there so I sat down with him and tried to explain how I was feeling. He got really upset like I was trying to hide something from him.

    I really just didn't want him to see me working. I explained I just wanted a normal life outside the club & to keep the club in the club. Today I called him once and sent him two texts with no reply. I stopped because I didn't want to seem crazy but I can’t stop thinking about it.

    What should I do =\

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  3. #2
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    Default Re: No trust...

    You guess you think of him as you're boyfriend ??? Doesn't sound like youre certain.

    Idk. Sounds like you two aren't on the same page. Mixing business with pleasure is a slippery slope that's best to be avoided but should you go there it takes maturity and communication.

    I'd give him a couple days to respond or reach out and if be doesn't then......NEXT his a$$

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  5. #3
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    Default Re: No trust...

    Um he played you like we do to customers. Obviously he's good looking and young naïve dancers fall for him often so he was back where he goes... Don't date customers. You could of had a customer who came in and gave you money for who knows how long but YOU ruined that...

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    Default Re: No trust...

    I can't really condemn you because my current boyfriend I met as a customer. However I will agree with Michelle that he played you like Charlie Daniels played a fiddle. I won't say don't date a customer. I will say proceed with caution.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: No trust...

    Why did you buy HIM dinner?
    He's already seen you as a dancer, I don't really think that can be un-done. My rule is no dating customers.

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    Default Re: No trust...

    This might come across blunt, but if you didn't have the "is this serious" chat before now, I'm guessing he was just thinking he was getting the GFE OTC for free (what man would say no to having fun with a beautiful dancer and not having to pay a dime for it?). If he doesn't think you are a couple, then what's stopping him going into the club (in his mind)? From your calls/texts he probably just thought you were a favourite who had gotten possessive.

    From the way that he's acted it sounds like he doesn't want commitment and isn't ready to give up his lifestyle. It's not your fault, we are all human and you can't help who you fall for. Sometimes customer/dancer relationships can work, but for the most part they aren't a good idea. You deserve better and don't need to be hurt anymore by him-move on!
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

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  12. #7
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    Default Re: No trust...

    not all customers want to date us..some just want fun with no strings attached and that's why they go to clubs. why would you guess he's your boyfriend? he either is or he isn't, and since he never declared anything like that i don't see how you would think that? perhaps he's disappointed you are getting all into him in that way and ruining the fun? just don't text him anymore, like you said, and wait.

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    Default Re: No trust...

    I can't believe he let you buy him dinner! Grossss!!!!!


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    Default Re: No trust...

    I think you failed to communicate what you wanted, while also failing to see what he wanted. If he calls you back or anything, I'd say just tell him you misunderstood the relationship and won't be seeing him anymore in or out of the club. I don't think there's any going back to a good in-club relationship after this, and you seem on very different pages about what was happening outside of it. No use dealing with the stress of trying with this one when you could be making money and finding love elsewhere.

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    Default Re: No trust...

    Quote Originally Posted by strippername View Post
    I can't believe he let you buy him dinner! Grossss!!!!!
    I can't believe she bought him dinner! He must be good! He should be a male dancer!

  18. #11
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    Default Re: No trust...

    Yeah why did you buy him dinner? Is he that broke? That's just weird to me.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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  20. #12
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    Default Re: No trust...

    yeah, next time don't buy a man dinner on a first date! however innocently you may have meant it, it looks desperate and like you don't value yourself and you are just honoured as shit that he even graced you with his presence.

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    Default Re: No trust...

    Just an update, we talked things over and he understood why I wouldn't want to see him at work anymore. He said he thought of me as his gf but he just wasn't sure where it was at because I'm a dancer. Then at the club he just felt rejected and upset, so I assured him that wasn't the case. He was much calmer so he understood. The talk was good for the relationship and now I think we both on the same page.

    Side note, any man who won't let you buy them dinner, is probably not worth keeping. That's the whole foundation of starting a relationship, to share life together. Guys that want you to be a kept woman, tend to want to own you also. Be independent.

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    Default Re: No trust...

    No offence but he is a customer. Hey maybe he'll be your bf???? But your comment about buying guys dinner so you won't be a kept women or it makes you independent??? I was with my ex 8 years( I broke up with him)he always paid( I think I bought him dinner 3 times in that time) I traveled to dance our whole relationship and I wear the pants, I'm an independent women. I was never a kept women but I didn't meet him in the club and I wasn't looking for a sugar daddy.

  24. #15
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    Default Re: No trust...

    Quote Originally Posted by SassyBecca View Post
    Just an update, we talked things over and he understood why I wouldn't want to see him at work anymore. He said he thought of me as his gf but he just wasn't sure where it was at because I'm a dancer. Then at the club he just felt rejected and upset, so I assured him that wasn't the case. He was much calmer so he understood. The talk was good for the relationship and now I think we both on the same page.

    Side note, any man who won't let you buy them dinner, is probably not worth keeping. That's the whole foundation of starting a relationship, to share life together. Guys that want you to be a kept woman, tend to want to own you also. Be independent.

    Any man that lets me buy him dinner is not worth keeping because he is too broke. I'm sorry but for me any man that can't pay for his shit at a minimum has got to go.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: No trust...

    That is the most ass backwards shit I've ever heard. Man should ALWAYS buy YOU dinner..especially on the first date and the next 10 ..and then after that, you only split here and there if you really feel like it not because you don't want to be a 'kept' woman.

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  28. #17
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    Default Re: No trust...

    Quote Originally Posted by SassyBecca View Post
    Side note, any man who won't let you buy them dinner, is probably not worth keeping. That's the whole foundation of starting a relationship, to share life together. Guys that want you to be a kept woman, tend to want to own you also. Be independent.
    I'm glad you got it sorted out...but DAYUM. Sure, buy your guy dinner or gifts or whatever later down the line - but the FIRST DATE??? There is a serious societal expectation to that one - if the guy asks, the guy pays. End of story. Frankly, if you don't want him to see it as you wanting money - you can just SAY THAT - where is the issue in accepting the dinner invite, and saying "just to be clear, I want you to get to know the real me, not just the dancer"? When the point in asking you out is to say "hey - I want to give you a lovely evening" demanding that you pay is kind of like returning a gift for store credit. IN front of the giver. It's nothing to do with being a kept woman.

    My bf pays for a lot of things, and refuses money when I try to give it to him (unless its the right-before-payday broke time of the month, or the cash machine isn't working, or whatever) - not because he wants to keep me, but in his words "because I want to take you out and give you things and make you happy".
    I take cash, debit or credit. I just don't take shit.


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  30. #18
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    Default Re: No trust...

    Is his name Deuce Bigalow?
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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  32. #19
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    Default Re: No trust...

    You bought a customer dinner.... Now buy yourself a oneway ticket out of that acquaintanceship.

    Seriously though... you sorta sound like Taylor Swift.

    He's just not that into you. Don't push it. Enough with the imagined relationships.... just CUT. IT. OUT.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: No trust...

    ^ HAHA! Taylor swift!

  35. #21
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    Default Re: No trust...

    Attachment 34801

    See this? I met him in the club and started dating him. He is obscenely hot. He eats my pussy like a man on death row eating his last meal. He fucks for hours. He is the sweetest man in the world. AND I STILL WOULDN'T BUY HIM DINNER! Especially not on the first fucking date!
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: No trust...

    If you're really that concerned abt appearing independent, maybe you should be looking elsewhere than the club for a relationship. Tempest's case is an exception, & there are quite a few ladies on here who have met their own exceptions, but for the most part, there's not a lot of good to come from blurring the lines between your professional & personal selves.

  38. #23
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    Default Re: No trust...

    OMG Tempest your bf is freaking hot.

    I would buy him dinner, a car, a house, a phone, a new puppy, some cereal, batteries, water bottle, a pair of mittens ....

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  40. #24
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    Default Re: No trust...

    Don't be this girl.... don't ever be this girl....

    The hilarity starts at 1:25...


    http://www.hulu.com/watch/204837
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: No trust...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Don't be this girl.... don't ever be this girl....

    The hilarity starts at 1:25...


    http://www.hulu.com/watch/204837
    Wow that was terrible. " I'll buy you whatever you want and have babies with you". He was honest like "i'm an asshole" .Lol "Want to give me a hand job under the table?" With his mouth all "see food like a 6 year old" ewww.

    What the hell did I just watch??

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