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Thread: Tip Shaming

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    Veteran Member jadey23's Avatar
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    Default Tip Shaming

    I like to think of myself as a generous tipper. At my club it's courteous to tip a dollar per dance to management, security, and DJ (valet and housemom are at discretion). I always follow this guide and usually put a few more bucks on top. I never cause problems, follow house rules, and am generally well received by the staff but often I feel somewhat guilted into tipping more. ESPECIALLY on really slow nights. I mean, if I'm hurting I know everyone else is too, and they'll outwardly gripe about it so I feel inclined to give up more. I've been making shit lately -- last Friday I walked with NOTHING, literally all the money I made amounted to less than $20 and I just tipped it out to everyone rather than putting it in my gas tank. Tonight I didn't go onstage at all because my hand is injured, but I finally made some money after this dry spell and did 30 dances on the floor. I love our DJ but bc I didn't go onstage at all I thought kicking him $10 would suffice. He then pulls me aside and asks what he did wrong like why didn't I tip him more, and I felt bad!! I told him straight out "I'm sorry but I didn't make stage money and honestly my customers were not tipping well on top of the dances." Ultimately I ended up giving him another $20 just to keep the peace btwn us but it's like shit, I put in work tonight and barely even spoke to you. I worked in the restaurant industry for a long time and on bad nights, tipping the bussers/dishwashers less than usual was NOT something that warranted an explanation. It's irritating how some people feel entitled to your money without working for it. </vent>
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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tip Shaming

    Tipping at my club is $20 min. Split between dj, housemom & mgmt.

    My rules of thumb: I usually tip the dj extra when I have a good nite, like $15-$20 total or more(counting minimum), depends. If I made jack then I tell him hey, I did really poorly so I will get you, it just won't be tonite. He understands this, been in the biz since Christ was a corporal, does all he can to help get the crowd pumped (or shamed) to tip.

    Housemom, generally min unless she helps me out or I use from her supplies, then double min or a bit more.

    Mgmt min, tho when they don't back me up they don't get paid. Tonite they tossed a guy who hit me hard enough to leave a handprint & a bruise. I will take care of them nxt time I see them, forgot tonite honestly but in such a damn hurry to leave.

    Anyone who hooks me up w/ a spender gets tipped.

    One floorguy regularly talks to me like it's my first day hustling, tries to tell me how to do my job. He's a bit crooked tho, tried to charge $120 for a certain table on the floor when it's only $50. He gets nothing.

    My bouncers refuse to accept $$ from me so I bring them cookies that way I can *always* take care of them. One of them says I am his favourite for doing that & he kicks ass for me

    Fuck those that try to guilt you into forking over more. If they want the big bucks let them do our job. Not only are most of them salaried, the mandatory tipping structure guarantees that sm nites, they will leave w/ more tip $$ than you do. If they help you out, then yes, tip, but don't let those commies push you around!

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    Default Re: Tip Shaming

    I'd go with: "If you want a 'fair' cut of my money when I'm having a good night, you get a 'fair' cut when I'm having a bad one. Take it or leave it, but this is all I'm offering." Unfortunately, some people will bleed you dry if you don't stand up for yourself. Those who guilt or bully you are not your friends, and the best advice I can offer for this situation inside the club or out is to just do your best to be firm and not let their tactics get to you.

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    Default Re: Tip Shaming

    That is incredibly rude of staff to do! If it's an obviously craptastic night, they should understand perfectly about your inability to tip them. Tipping them, period, deserves thanks and nothing less. Wtf? SO RUDE. I would be SO MIFFED. Where is the logic behind expecting someone who has made very little money to tip the same as when they make a lot of money? I mean, the shame-walk of not being able to tip very much is enough on its own, seriously. Stupid. The thirst is real....
    There is no reason to take it up the ass and then act all butthurt.
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    Default Re: Tip Shaming

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    I'd go with: "If you want a 'fair' cut of my money when I'm having a good night, you get a 'fair' cut when I'm having a bad one. Take it or leave it, but this is all I'm offering." Unfortunately, some people will bleed you dry if you don't stand up for yourself. Those who guilt or bully you are not your friends, and the best advice I can offer for this situation inside the club or out is to just do your best to be firm and not let their tactics get to you.
    yup! they bully you because they know they can-that dj probably doesnt shame girls who are more assertive. the best way to control this shitty behavior is to never let it get out of control in the first place.

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    Veteran Member summerbre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tip Shaming

    That was very unprofessional of your DJ to do - IMO if a girl isn't tipping below minimum, they have no right to ask for more money.

    I used to tip based on a rough percentage of what I made, where my good nights = more money for everyone. Now I always tip minimum unless someone directly influenced my $ - introduced me to a customer, bumped me down on stage to do dances, etc. Sometimes even if they try to introduce me to a customer but it turns out the custie isn't spending, I'll tip extra, b/c at least they tried.

    Ever since I started doing this, staff helps me out a lot more. It's of your own benefit to let people know that if they help you, they'll get more money - it has to be earned. There was one night I forgot to tip a bartender for pointing me towards a high rolling couple, and the next shift I gave him a $20 and apologized for forgetting - now he's always looking to help me out, because he knows he'll get extra. Likewise for DJ, house mom and floor guys. People are more inclined to do favors for you if they know you'll help them back in return, but they don't deserve above and beyond minimum if they aren't going above and beyond their minimum effort. I genuinely love the staff at my club, but I would never tip my DJ $30 just 'cause he asked for it at the end of the night.

    Actually, the one time I did tip below minimum, it was when I was still fairly new at a club. One of the DJs was a complete jerk to new girls, so I tipped him just $1 below minimum tip out (I know, I'm such a bad bitch). But he actually said something about it, and it gave me the chance to calmly say I deserve his kindness and respect, and if he's going to ignore me when I ask where I'm at in rotation, then he's not going to get my $ because he's making it harder for me to make $. He's been nice ever since!

    Anyway point is - NO ONE is entitled to your money, beyond what your contract specifies. If they don't realize that, then tell them, kindly and without drama.
    “The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around like rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”
    - Anne Morris

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    Default Re: Tip Shaming

    I work at a club where it isn't mandatory to tip, but it is the norm to tip. I prefer this. I tip housemom $10, I only tip bouncers/waitresses/massage girls if they help me (rare occasions), I do NOT tip management (that is ridiculous). These people get paychecks as well as tips from other girls as well. We girls pay to work -I've always felt it should be at the dancers discretion when tipping....or is that just too damn logical for this industry????
    "You're better than no one and no one is better than you."
    -- Bob Dylan

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    Default Re: Tip Shaming

    Quote Originally Posted by summerbre View Post
    That was very unprofessional of your DJ to do - IMO if a girl isn't tipping below minimum, they have no right to ask for more money.

    I used to tip based on a rough percentage of what I made, where my good nights = more money for everyone. Now I always tip minimum unless someone directly influenced my $ - introduced me to a customer, bumped me down on stage to do dances, etc. Sometimes even if they try to introduce me to a customer but it turns out the custie isn't spending, I'll tip extra, b/c at least they tried.
    That.

    I refuse to tip above minimum, because having a mandatory tip at all pisses me off. Making it worse is that I'm in $10 dance land; so, I get to take my top off and dance for a random stranger, and I'm expected to do this for a net gross of less than $10/3 minutes so that I can tip some of that money to people who don't have to do said job duty? Hell no.

    How I figure it: all the DJ does is click "play" on iTunes; I may tip him an extra $5 or $10 IF I've requested specific songs or something. House moms are basically useless and their job needs to be nixed. I would tip security if they tossed someone, and I would tip a bartender/waitress/floor host if they sent someone my way. But in my club, nobody ever does, BECAUSE of the mandatory tip - they twiddle their thumbs because we're forced to tip out regardless of what they do.

    All these people get paychecks, yet they all have their hands out for the girls who do 90% of what keeps the lights on and rent paid. Yeah, that makes sense.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

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    Default Re: Tip Shaming

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    I'd go with: "If you want a 'fair' cut of my money when I'm having a good night, you get a 'fair' cut when I'm having a bad one. Take it or leave it, but this is all I'm offering." Unfortunately, some people will bleed you dry if you don't stand up for yourself. Those who guilt or bully you are not your friends, and the best advice I can offer for this situation inside the club or out is to just do your best to be firm and not let their tactics get to you.
    Yes, this^^ Well said!

    Quote Originally Posted by summerbre View Post
    That was very unprofessional of your DJ to do - IMO if a girl isn't tipping below minimum, they have no right to ask for more money.

    I used to tip based on a rough percentage of what I made, where my good nights = more money for everyone. Now I always tip minimum unless someone directly influenced my $ - introduced me to a customer, bumped me down on stage to do dances, etc. Sometimes even if they try to introduce me to a customer but it turns out the custie isn't spending, I'll tip extra, b/c at least they tried.

    Ever since I started doing this, staff helps me out a lot more. It's of your own benefit to let people know that if they help you, they'll get more money - it has to be earned. There was one night I forgot to tip a bartender for pointing me towards a high rolling couple, and the next shift I gave him a $20 and apologized for forgetting - now he's always looking to help me out, because he knows he'll get extra. Likewise for DJ, house mom and floor guys. People are more inclined to do favors for you if they know you'll help them back in return, but they don't deserve above and beyond minimum if they aren't going above and beyond their minimum effort. I genuinely love the staff at my club, but I would never tip my DJ $30 just 'cause he asked for it at the end of the night.

    Actually, the one time I did tip below minimum, it was when I was still fairly new at a club. One of the DJs was a complete jerk to new girls, so I tipped him just $1 below minimum tip out (I know, I'm such a bad bitch). But he actually said something about it, and it gave me the chance to calmly say I deserve his kindness and respect, and if he's going to ignore me when I ask where I'm at in rotation, then he's not going to get my $ because he's making it harder for me to make $. He's been nice ever since!

    Anyway point is - NO ONE is entitled to your money, beyond what your contract specifies. If they don't realize that, then tell them, kindly and without drama.
    & This!^


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    Default Re: Tip Shaming

    Ugh thank you all youre so right. I've only been dancing for like 9 months and I think having worked in restaurants so long I feel the need to be soo nice and have comradery w my coworkers. I do feel like they expect me to tip more bc I always have, I don't want to be taken advantage of. How do I rectify this situation w the DJ to let him know that what he did was not ok to do in the future?
    Unsophisticated in the finest sense of the word.

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    Veteran Member summerbre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tip Shaming

    Quote Originally Posted by jadey23 View Post
    Ugh thank you all youre so right. I've only been dancing for like 9 months and I think having worked in restaurants so long I feel the need to be soo nice and have comradery w my coworkers. I do feel like they expect me to tip more bc I always have, I don't want to be taken advantage of. How do I rectify this situation w the DJ to let him know that what he did was not ok to do in the future?
    I don't think you need to say anything to him about it. Just set a new precedent by tipping differently - it might be weird at first, but I highly doubt that other girls in your club tip out $30 even on a mediocre night.

    Next time he asks for more, just say that's all you have for him today. Stick to the same number every night, minimum if that's how your club works, or find out what most girls tip on average, then if he ever does you a favor that helps you make money, throw an extra $10 in there at the end of the night and say "Thank you so much for xyz." Positive reinforcement! You don't have to say anything other than that. Remember, he's NOT entitled to your take-home $$$. That's yours!!
    “The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around like rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”
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    Default Re: Tip Shaming

    thanks summer, i def agree on setting a new precedent. it WILL happen!!!!
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    Default Re: Tip Shaming

    This is so annoying, I think it happens most everywhere also. At my club which I am kinda new to, I even have been guilted into tipping the dance host, the guy who counts dances. If I dont tip him he will be real strict on me and correct guys if they touch a boob! lol. They pay 30 per dance so if they are doing 4-5 dances I dont care if they touch a boob but this guy will be right outside correcting it.Ugh, its blackmail for a tip! I do make money at this club so I have just been tipping him to keep the peace as u said but on top of that, this club takes easily 30-40 percent of my money then on top of that I tip everyone else...sucks!

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    Default Re: Tip Shaming

    Yeah, I've experienced this in regular bars too..2 giant bouncers walking me out to my car, trying to intimidate me @ the same time lol again, this's a regular bar, a restaurant I worked @ too, they automatically deducted 8% from our checks, & the bus boy only wanted to help the head waitress who got all the tables..so we had bus our own tables, & pay too..
    One sc I was @ the mgr kept me in his office screaming til I tipped the bouncers, @ that time I just started wtf.


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