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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default unwanted advice from co-workers.

    i feel like this has already been talked about, and i'm just not finding it, but anyways..
    you guys ever have your stripper friends give you unwanted advice on your look?
    i've tried all sorts of stripper looks, and "trashy hot" is what makes me the most. the guys like it. they also like my bleach blond hair but the girls at work are forever giving me a hard time about it. "omg, it just doesn't go with your eye color!" or " i think you should add some low-lights, maybe a soft champagne blond"..well, the guys aren't complaining and i earn more blond, i don't think they give a shit about how it goes with my eye color!! one girl got kind of insulting, saying " you look like trailer trash, it looks horrible and ugly". she later apologized for phrasing it wrong but still. the guys are the ones who feed me and pay my rent, their opinions matter, not peoples who aren't paying me! i LIKE looking "trashy" if that's what you wanna call it, that's the look that makes me money. men compliment me every night on my super light hair. i swear, men and women have such different views on what makes a female attractive! most of the girls were nice and just trying to help but yeah..
    maybe the posh, polished, neat look works well for you, good! let me do what i want..i'm not stupid and i'm not in need of beauty advice. i do this on purpose, thank you.
    anybody else get frustrated with this??

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    Featured Member Starling's Avatar
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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    I get that from time to time. I'll nod my head, acknowledge them, but ignore them in the end.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sansonnet View Post
    I get that from time to time. I'll nod my head, acknowledge them, but ignore them in the end.
    Right, this^!
    It does get old though. & what a mean, freaking thing to say, even if she did apologize! If wanted to hear from an asshole, you'd fart!


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    Yup.....it's usually when they tell me "You're too skinny." Yeah, sorry but I make more money skinny than I ever did while I was Fatty McFatFat.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    This happens in a DR full of bored or drunk strippers, I agree that it's annoying lol. Unless they are "good friends" or they are giving you a genuine compliment i.e. "I love your dress/shoes/hair/make up etc" then ignore them. We know what works for us, what makes us look and feel sexy and ultimately what makes us money. Keep on rocking the blonde and raking it in !
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    Mine like to tell me to get a tan and stop sitting by myself when it's slow. I just absentmindedly nod and continue reading my book. I usually think it's pure passive aggression, and the only reason I can see for it is jealousy. Maybe your coworkers don't have bad intentions, but it's the impression I get when mine do similar things.

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    Featured Member Starling's Avatar
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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    Quote Originally Posted by OliveJardin View Post
    This happens in a DR full of bored or drunk strippers, I agree that it's annoying lol.!
    I had to put the emphasis on bored and drunk. This was always when it happened. When there was nothing for anyone to do, people would nitpick all kinds of stuff.

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    Featured Member Starling's Avatar
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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    Mine like to tell me to get a tan and stop sitting by myself when it's slow. I just absentmindedly nod and continue reading my book. I usually think it's pure passive aggression, and the only reason I can see for it is jealousy.
    This is another reason why I don't even bother. It could be well-intentioned, but it could be passive aggressive. Sometimes there's no telling, and you're right Simone, you have to do what's good for you.

    Shit I wish I had more of a trashy stripper look going on for me at the moment. I went to a hairdresser a while back and asked for the brightest blonde she could give me. She did give me blonde, but it wasn't as bright as I was expecting, but was happy with it and kept the look. But there's a reason why the "trashy" stripper looks makes money.

    From the way you described, you seem like you're doing everything right. That look appeals to a lot of guys.

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    Featured Member Starling's Avatar
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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Yup.....it's usually when they tell me "You're too skinny." Yeah, sorry but I make more money skinny than I ever did while I was Fatty McFatFat.
    Oh lol, I've gotten this too. And I, too, make more money when I'm thinner.

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    God/dess SweetJulia's Avatar
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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    Ok-part of the reason I quit dancing-girls I'm cuter than charging more for dances, girls making up rumors, and girls who are simply out for money.

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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    When I had bright blonde hair, people gave me shit about it too. They told me I needed to look more "natural" - oh, and also that I needed to tan. But I liked my hair and the way I looked, and customers apparently did too. Even the customers who joined in the chorus of "you need a tan!" would do so while still handing me money sooo... lol I went to a more natural shade of blonde out of my own preference after having to go back to dark for a little while, but that's just because it makes me feel good in my personal life. The bright blonde always does well in the SC ime. And if nobody else has it, why would you want to look like everyone else? Standing out in a positive way, like having the blondest hair, can only help. They're probably just jealous because they know you make good money and they don't understand how guys could want you with your "trashy" hair, so they're trying to tear you apart out of insecurity.

    I mean, it comes down to this is how girls act everywhere, no? They're always picking apart other females and telling them how they should look, especially if that female seems to get more attention with her different-ness.

    When girls would lecture me on my hair, I would just nod and say "Yeah, I know." And then walk away. They can talk shit behind my back about my "cluelessness" all they want - who cares? lol
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    Don't listen to what the other girls at work say! I guarantee you they say stuff out of jealousy. They probably see your success and are just trying to criticize and tear you down.
    Blonde is beautiful and guys love it. Also blonde stands out in the club.
    I have faced the exact same thing you're going through. My hair is bright blonde and super long about two inches from my butt. Girls I work with say it's too blonde, get lowlights, get layers, cut it to your shoulders, blah blah blah...
    I have seriously come to a point where I don't give a fuck what they say. (I also get told stuff about my boobs being too big,etc.) Just remember, even if you're friends with some of the girls, you're STILL competition!
    I may sound like a heartless bitch when I say this, but you're there to makes lots and lots of MONEY, not friends. If you make friends too that's great, but not the most important part.
    So whatever look it is that gets you the most cash in your hands, stick with it!
    Something I always tell myself is, "consider the source."
    A few months ago a girl with a mullet was talking shit about my hair. Should I listen to her and cut my hair? Hell no lol
    Good luck with this, and don't let them get you down!

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    Going against the grain here BUT, I will tell a dancer she looks good (is trying a new style etc) and suggest another outfit if the one she is wearing doesn't flatter (if asked opinion).

    For example a girl at work recently started wearing turqouise instead of signature white and I put emphasis on how much the colour suited her (without saying the white washes her out).

    I haven't made suggestions out of jealousy or vindictiveness. I actually love seeing someone go from plain to pretty with tweaks to their look, I have a love of experimenting with colour and style though- it's kind of like having a real life barbie doll to make over- its hard to resist. I remind myself that it can be percieved as interferring so I tend to keep my suggestions in my head.

    At the end of the day what other people think of me is none of my business and vice versa.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    One of the first clubs I worked in, the owner always ragged me to cut my hair/wear it up! The. Men. Loved. It DOWN/LONG!
    Also, this goes on in vanilla jobs..a lady I worked with really ragged me about my hair (which I always wore neatly up). I was nice, but she could stand to lose a few lbs


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    Men and women definitely judge appearances differently. Things women notice men could care less about. And I think I read it on here someone said whenever a female compliments her outfit, she changes it lol. I always do this as well. If trashy works for you and you feel confident rock it.

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    i feel like with one of the girls it did come from a helpful place, since the blond is bad for my hair going that light..with the girls who said it looked trashy i don't feel like it came from a good place lol. i know it would be healthier but the blond makes me money! maybe a red, considering not one girl there has red hair..idk lol

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    Featured Member Starling's Avatar
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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    In terms of making your hair look healthier you could try this stuff:



    When I went blonde I had a problem with dryness and that stuff really helped a lot. I was using this stuff which smells great, but it didn't help with dryness nearly as much as the first one:


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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    ^They also have shampoos, conditioners, and hair oils! Unfortunately, most stores that sell it jack the price way up. But that line saved my hair too.

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    Arrow Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    http://black15in1.com/


    Totally want to try this one^


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    Yeah that was the only issue really, I bought the mask, shampoo, conditioner and leave in spray, but they were all very pricey. I found it worth it for my hair though, people noticed a difference when I started using their stuff. But even just the leave in spray by itself is really good.

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    the things is, i can't tell whether its damage or just my hair. my hair is crazzzzyyy, its huge and poofy and curly around my face kinda like juno temple/helena bonham-carter hair and very coarse. i think some of the girls just assumed it was super damaged when its just never going to be straight and shiny. i'm going to try that stuff out..do they have it at sallys??

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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    I always hated this because often the underlying comment was either "you're ugly" or "I'm jealous". It's one thing when a dancer would tell me a certain outfit was more flattering than another (I got that a lot and wasn't offended), another when they told me I needed to change. I had dark hair that was long and wavy and had a more muscular body type and often another dancer would tell me I should color my hair blonde and lose the muscle. My comment was always why change what made me different than most and be like other dancers?

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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    the things is, i can't tell whether its damage or just my hair. my hair is crazzzzyyy, its huge and poofy and curly around my face kinda like juno temple/helena bonham-carter hair and very coarse. i think some of the girls just assumed it was super damaged when its just never going to be straight and shiny. i'm going to try that stuff out..do they have it at sallys??
    I haven't seen it at Sally's. I got it at a professional supply store, but I've seen it at WalMart and high-end grocery stores.

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    Featured Member Tsepmet1's Avatar
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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    I was thinking about this last night because a drunk, trashy girl in the bathroom (with the goddamn stall door wide open) was trying to give me advice on my hustle. For some reason, no idea why, I just don't really trust her advice. Lol

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    Default Re: unwanted advice from co-workers.

    It's a 10 Miracle is avail. @ CVS, Ulta that I know of. The one I talked about is at salons or online. Their site tells you if it's nearby, you put in your zip code


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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