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Thread: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

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    Default "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    I had a guy pull this old line, but as it's super quiet on Sundays I didn't just say my piece and leave like normal. Is there any way to play up to this and get some money from them? I tried logically walking him through his own thoughts to a point where he agreed there was nothing wrong with the job, but he was still saying this. Maybe acting up to his ideas may have been better, or are they just there to look sad and try to take us home and 'look after' us? (he was young, like 21).

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    Captain Save-a-Ho to the rescue.

    You're very unlikely to change these guys, and very few of them are going to spend any money in the club. 90% of them want to meet OTC and make it a date. I wouldn't even have wasted my time talking to him after that line.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    i always say " yeah..well, come get a dance with me so i can make some money and get outta this big bad place "..and if they don't bite with that one, leave.


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    Veteran Member summerbre's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    For someone that young, I doubt it! I don't know, I've tried lots of different responses to this, mostly depending on my mood and whether I'm in the "hustle zone," Ha. I guess just thinking about it now, trying to change their mind may not be the best approach, because then you're basically starting an argument, even if the conversation is civil. That's not to say I haven't tried it before!

    Tuesday night I banked off of a guy who comes to my club frequently. According to the waitress before I approached, he never talks to strippers, only the waitresses- but it was dead and I figured it was worth the try. He was standoffish at first but I was able to engage him simply by being persistent, and after a while he started making comments like "Wow, you're really articulate" ( ) and "You're not like most strippers, why are you doing this?" ( double )

    Instead of arguing in favor of the industry, I fed into his idea of me. I made it seem like I WAS too good (by his terms!!), and told him some semblance of the truth, that I basically have a lot of expensive ambitions (travel, grad school, etc.)

    This worked because I knew he had money, he usually gives the waitress $500 for sitting there and talking to him, according to her. He ended up giving me $700 with a little hustling ("I know I'm better than this but I have so much student loan debt!" - I don't actually have debt). I basically sat there and talked with him all night long in a DEAD club.

    So maybe try feeding the "too good" fantasy, if you're in the position to do a long hustle, he actually has money and it's one of your only options! Otherwise, probably just move along to a customer who actually wants to see you naked and isn't a pretentious dickweed.


    Edit: Gah! Sorry my posts are always so long. I just like to explain things with stories... Lol
    Last edited by summerbre; 09-09-2013 at 09:55 AM.
    “The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around like rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”
    - Anne Morris


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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    ^That's a great idea, exactly what I was after... didn't really know what to actually say to play to his idea of me. I've managed to control my "ugh" reflex now so will turn it into game next time if there isn't anything else going on.

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    Veteran Member freckles's Avatar
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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    Quote Originally Posted by summerbre View Post
    For someone that young, I doubt it! I don't know, I've tried lots of different responses to this, mostly depending on my mood and whether I'm in the "hustle zone," Ha. I guess just thinking about it now, trying to change their mind may not be the best approach, because then you're basically starting an argument, even if the conversation is civil. That's not to say I haven't tried it before!

    Tuesday night I banked off of a guy who comes to my club frequently. According to the waitress before I approached, he never talks to strippers, only the waitresses- but it was dead and I figured it was worth the try. He was standoffish at first but I was able to engage him simply by being persistent, and after a while he started making comments like "Wow, you're really articulate" ( ) and "You're not like most strippers, why are you doing this?" ( double )

    Instead of arguing in favor of the industry, I fed into his idea of me. I made it seem like I WAS too good (by his terms!!), and told him some semblance of the truth, that I basically have a lot of expensive ambitions (travel, grad school, etc.)

    This worked because I knew he had money, he usually gives the waitress $500 for sitting there and talking to him, according to her. He ended up giving me $700 with a little hustling ("I know I'm better than this but I have so much student loan debt!" - I don't actually have debt). I basically sat there and talked with him all night long in a DEAD club.

    So maybe try feeding the "too good" fantasy, if you're in the position to do a long hustle, he actually has money and it's one of your only options! Otherwise, probably just move along to a customer who actually wants to see you naked and isn't a pretentious dickweed.


    Edit: Gah! Sorry my posts are always so long. I just like to explain things with stories... Lol
    ^I do the exact same thing!
    Giving them the same old argument like you *aren't* too good, or overly defending the job is too predictable. I feel like dudes appreciate frankness; it's refreshing to them.
    "I'm in this to finance my dreams... my day job is great and pays the bills, but I want the best for me and my kids. Our home needs expensive improvements, blah blah blah..."
    ...all things your average fat-walleted custy will want to contribute to, and all true, and all *positives*... getting him to want to help you out without bringing him down with the woe-is-me stripper down-on-her-luck story. (the ultimate hustling no-no, if you ask me)
    So, yeah, agreeing that you might actually be "too good" by his standards gets the two of you on a team, he feels good about contributing to your cause, whatever that may be...
    I have had a few try to say that they would flat out pay for all of the very expensive things I want done to my home if I will just, y'know, be available for bj's whenever, and that is obviously the point at which I will dip and look for $$$$ elsewhere.

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    Quote Originally Posted by freckles View Post
    ^I do the exact same thing!
    Giving them the same old argument like you *aren't* too good, or overly defending the job is too predictable. I feel like dudes appreciate frankness; it's refreshing to them.
    "I'm in this to finance my dreams... my day job is great and pays the bills, but I want the best for me and my kids. Our home needs expensive improvements, blah blah blah..."
    ...all things your average fat-walleted custy will want to contribute to, and all true, and all *positives*... getting him to want to help you out without bringing him down with the woe-is-me stripper down-on-her-luck story. (the ultimate hustling no-no, if you ask me)
    So, yeah, agreeing that you might actually be "too good" by his standards gets the two of you on a team, he feels good about contributing to your cause, whatever that may be...
    I have had a few try to say that they would flat out pay for all of the very expensive things I want done to my home if I will just, y'know, be available for bj's whenever, and that is obviously the point at which I will dip and look for $$$$ elsewhere.
    ^Because you're MUCH too good to dance nude for other, fully clothed men, but sucking his dick for money would be an absolute privilege!
    “The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around like rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”
    - Anne Morris

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    Quote Originally Posted by summerbre View Post
    ^Because you're MUCH too good to dance nude for other, fully clothed men, but sucking his dick for money would be an absolute privilege!
    Hahaha right??? How could I miss that perfect point?... I might add that the last fella who threw out that oh-so-tempting offer REEKED of the cigar smoke he was puffing in my face the whole time, (thank god for antioxidant serum) was wearing a HORRIBLE toupee that was entirely another color from the bozo-ring of actual hair he had left, and was bragging to me the whole time about exactly how much money he had made in each of the last 3 years, down to pennies, ("I made $148,932.47 last year!!!, etc...) aaaaaand... managed to let slip that he was currently residing in a travel trailer.
    Be still my mutherfuckin beating heart.

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    I always hated this because it usually meant he hoped he would be a white knight and "save" me or that I should find another industry, like the time a man offered me a job at a fast food restaurant. These guys are usually cheap too because they like to often say they don't like to spend money so they don't encourage the dancer to keep dancing which is bullshit.

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    If you want to deliver a zinger, just say: I hope your self-imposed sense of moral superiority is helping you cope with being confronted by a sex worker who is way more beautiful/smart/out of your league than you had anticipated. I'm sorry, you came here to pitch a tiny tent in your pants watching the very naked women you look down upon-but now I made your ego feel even smaller. My bad. You poor, poor thing.

    Or, the hustle strategy: You can help me to stop doing this. I'm only doing this to put myself through school, so I'll happily accept a generous donation to my scholarship fund so I own't have to do this anymore! I know I am too good for this, so please help me get out of this big, bad place!

    But in my experience, these guys never spend money Period

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    These guys are usually cheap too because they like to often say they don't like to spend money so they don't encourage the dancer to keep dancing which is bullshit.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jade62013 View Post
    But in my experience, these guys never spend money Period
    ^This is true a lot of the time! But actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I've had a lot of high rollers pull the "you're too good for this" pep talk over the years, and a lot of my regulars seem to have held on to that notion, and now I'm wondering what the difference is between them and the cheap Captain Save-A-Hoes...

    I think some men want to be surprised by the "beats the stereotypes" stripper. I think it makes them feel like they're not getting hustled.

    I'm also wondering why I meet a lot of guys in strip clubs with full wallets that claim to "hate most strippers," like the guy from my story of the other night. Why was he even at my club, with a wallet full of hundreds, if he hates strippers? I mean obviously he brought money for the waitress, but he tipped her really well, too, and never had to go to the ATM. Why go to a strip club by yourself with nearly $2K in your wallet if you "hate most strippers"?! He was such an arrogant bastard. I hope he felt hustled when he woke up the next day, LOL
    “The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around like rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”
    - Anne Morris

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    yes, it's my experience they are a waste of time, but there are flukes. i agree with the "too good" approach. simply just asserting that you have dreams and goals, you're not here to earn money to buy frivolous things like designer sunglasses and jewelry (even though you probably do), and insist that you feel empowered by it.

    for me personally, i showed off that i could speak 3 different languages, was well versed in literature, physics, and psychology. also telling them i stripped my way to a degree and i dream of going to grad school.

    i feel like the diamonds in the rough are the ones who are also educated or intelligent/empathic type, or otherwise mature men. otherwise yeah, they're just wannabe white knights with the 20 bucks they borrowed from mom, hoarding it carefully.

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    Summerbre's post is 100% the way to go. I just wanted to add that I've had tips from these sorts of guys, actually. I'm just like, "Well, the job market sucks, and I have some family obligations right now that make a 9-5 difficult. [Or insert other worthy ambition here.] But I have great boobs, so I figured why not?" Gets them back on the subject of boobs -> dances -> money in your pocket. Some of these guys genuinely are just surprised to meet intelligent women in clubs. I love that there are so many great women on SW, but most of my actual coworkers are walking stereotypes. It's kind of funny to see guys realize how "politically incorrect" the subject sometimes is. One was really drunk and actually yelled, "But you're so smart! You're supposed to be dumb and slutty to work here!" Then this look of complete horror passed over him as he realized he voiced that thought. He ended up sitting in VIP with me for two hours, and he kept grabbing me at the temples and talking about my brain. It was amusing enough.

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    Quote Originally Posted by tuesdaymarie View Post
    One was really drunk and actually yelled, "But you're so smart! You're supposed to be dumb and slutty to work here!" Then this look of complete horror passed over him as he realized he voiced that thought. He ended up sitting in VIP with me for two hours, and he kept grabbing me at the temples and talking about my brain. It was amusing enough.
    The mental image of this is actually adorable to me. And also what you said is true, the women of SW don't really equate to the majority of women I work with, either. We're the web geeks of the stripper world. LOL
    “The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around like rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”
    - Anne Morris

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    totally. i think some of the other girls would wig out if i told them you could "research" stripping.

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    I used to be afraid to tell other dancers about SW in case they all learned HustleHut the way I have but hand to heart I swear I tell girls about SW repeatedly now and they don't give a fuck.... Yet I get asked what to say to custies etc, I don't wave my magic fairy wand people! I researched and practised and practised some more.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    When guys try the ol' "you're better than this," I tell him:

    -This is what's allowing me to be financially comfortable with a flexible work schedule as a full-time college student.
    -This is what's allowing me to live in my beautiful 2 bedroom luxury apartment by myself, paying all my bills BY MYSELF.
    -This is what's putting me through school.

    If I'm "better than this," than why am I here? Why are THEY here if they're just looking at the girls with pity? I hate when men think they're so above strippers that they think it's OK to tell them whether or not they think their jobs are alright for them to perform. What the hell? They don't know our stories. I can't speak for all strippers (because we know there are some real fucked up ones, as there is in any profession), but I know that the very large majority of girls here on SW are stripping for very good reasons and doing it wisely. Why these men feel they have the 'authority' to tell us whether or not we belong at our jobs is beyond me.
    "Rather have my feet hurting than my pockets."

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    I always turned it around on them "you're so much cuter than someone who has to buy my attention, but I guess we can still make a deal"
    Rebecca Avalon







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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    Most of these bullshit cliched insulting lines are just a result of the customer's nervousness. Often, a customer will feel out-of-place in the strip club environment. By allowing him to believe that you are also out-of-place, you can establish rapport quickly and easily.

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    One time, I was so bored at the end of the night I let a guy rant about how strippers are have daddy issues, they are crazy, and they are only stripping cause they have no other choice. I just nodded until he paused and then I responded with "you are soooo right, my dad was never around, I know im pretty nuts, and I wish I could do something else but I just have NO other choice". Then I asked him if he'd like a dance, he said no, and handed me $60 and thanked me for being so "HONEST". LOL!

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    ^ That is SO funny ariel omg, I did the same thing to a guy the other day.

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    ^Yep, it always pays better to let men continue to think whatever they already think than to challenge their beliefs. No matter how much it makes you want to throw up. Drink some whiskey and blame it on that.

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    anyone who says this is a loser and someone just trying to be our savior! F'k 'em!

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    Should just jump in with him and start stripper-bashing and see how long it takes for him to get confused. Haha.

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    Default Re: "You're better than this" - no hopers?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zadi View Post
    Should just jump in with him and start stripper-bashing and see how long it takes for him to get confused. Haha.
    At my first club, there was actually a girl there who acted like she was better than every other stripper. As though she wasn't a "real" stripper - she was just doing it to prove how "easy" it was. And she actually banked. She drove me absolutely crazy, but I bet guys liked how she would bash all us other, "regular" strippers.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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