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Thread: My big mouth cost me a client:(

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    Duh My big mouth cost me a client:(

    I'm very new to the scene so I'm still learning and just made a dumb mistake that cost me a client! The guy came to my incall location, was very nice and respectful (and not LE, lol) but he wanted to chat about my life story before we "got started"..I kept it simple but ended up stupidly referencing my current bf somewhere along the way. He said he was very uncomfortable knowing I have a bf and then started eyeing the door and I knew it was over. He apologized profusely and I asked if there was anything I could do to change his mind....but it was a no-go.

    So what I'm wondering is, in that type of situation IS there a seldom-fail trick to keep the client?

    Should I just grab his crotch and go the slut route to distract him into staying?
    Should I try to charge a cancellation fee?
    How do you tell them a little bit about yourself/your life without saying anything that may possibly turn them off?

    I'm bummed out because I feel if I had just kept my mouth shut this would not have happened *sigh*

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    God/dess Nikki_Fox's Avatar
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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    Either tell them you prefer not to discuss your personal life or make up a life to go with your persona - and yes under those circumstances i would expect a cancellation fee

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    sorry hun, but yeah when you in the adult industry you always make up a different life when telling people your "story". its much more safe as well. don't tell them where you are from/what you studied/your real name/ and esp. don't tell them about anybody close to you especially boyfriends or husbands ( or kids).

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    I would just lie to them although I do get a few that like the idea of me having a boyfriend so in that case whatever I go along with it lol. But yeah don't ever tell them your real name or where you went to high school etc. because they always have some sort of twisted agenda, no matter how "nice" they seem.

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    Quote Originally Posted by WinterTrash View Post
    I'm very new to the scene so I'm still learning and just made a dumb mistake that cost me a client! The guy came to my incall location, was very nice and respectful (and not LE, lol) but he wanted to chat about my life story before we "got started"..I kept it simple but ended up stupidly referencing my current bf somewhere along the way. He said he was very uncomfortable knowing I have a bf and then started eyeing the door and I knew it was over. He apologized profusely and I asked if there was anything I could do to change his mind....but it was a no-go.

    So what I'm wondering is, in that type of situation IS there a seldom-fail trick to keep the client?

    Should I just grab his crotch and go the slut route to distract him into staying?
    Should I try to charge a cancellation fee?
    How do you tell them a little bit about yourself/your life without saying anything that may possibly turn them off?

    I'm bummed out because I feel if I had just kept my mouth shut this would not have happened *sigh*
    Sorry, hun, but I would like to give you some advice, even though I am a PSO....I can still help with this. Always make up a persona for yourself when working in the adult industry because you do not want anyone finding out about your personal life.

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    So the consensus is definitely to create a different persona or at least not mention anything specific about my life...makes sense. I made the very naïve mistake when I VERY first started by doing more of a "friends with benefits" but for money - I'd be myself and the guys that knew I had a bf really got off on it. They'd say "your bf is so lucky" every time I'd talk to them/see them, haha! So I guess I didn't realize that it's totally different when you're trying to venture into being a businesswoman.

    Quote Originally Posted by sammii View Post
    Lie about the boyfriend. They like to think you may fall for them, it keeps the fantasy alive, and in turn they'll (hopefully) be repeat customers.
    This makes perfect sense and I always thought that was the case, until, like I said, I kept hearing "your bf is so lucky"...one guy even loves the idea that I have a bf and gets off on it. Everybody's different though.

    Can someone tell me how you go about charging a cancellation fee? And how much should the fee even be? What if the guy simply says no? What do you do?

    Thanks for helping a newbie out, ladies!

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    God/dess Nikki_Fox's Avatar
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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    Just explain that he booked your time and he should have asked in advance if that was going to be a deal breaker - and that you need X amount for the cancellation ( depends on your rate ) - since he was at your place he may have gotten spooked that he ( your BF ) was going to come there and be upset or to rob him - unfortunately others pay for the shitty things that some people do to clients and some do get set up like that

    if he simply says no it depends on why he said no - but I always try to get something from them - if he is a gentlemen / decent client he will pay

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    Sorry that happened to you, but that dude was a bit sketchy to begin with... Reasons to back out are if you are not as presented in photos and descriptions or do a big 'up-sell'. Having a life is not!

    I do recall one lady after I mentioned in a review that 'her boyfriend / driver' waited in my driveway, and she asked that I change it to simply 'driver'. Didn't bother me, but obviously ruins some guy's fantasy...

    BTW, You didn't say if you had a dedicated in-call, vs your own home, but I'm assuming that there weren't a size 14 pair of work-boots next to the bed at your in-call?!

    ;-)

    Next time steer the conversation back with something like "This is all about you...", "What do you like?", "How was your day, I hope to make it better!" , etc...


    Quote Originally Posted by Nikki_Fox View Post
    Just explain that he booked your time and he should have asked in advance if that was going to be a deal breaker - and that you need X amount for the cancellation ( depends on your rate ) - since he was at your place he may have gotten spooked that he ( your BF ) was going to come there and be upset or to rob him - unfortunately others pay for the shitty things that some people do to clients and some do get set up like that

    if he simply says no it depends on why he said no - but I always try to get something from them - if he is a gentlemen / decent client he will pay
    Originally Posted by
    I don't know what it is about me that says "wife me up." Everyone wants to choke me or date me. Or both. This job is weird.


    Originally Posted by Nocturnelle
    ... Kittens are assholes but they're just so darn cute.

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    Everyone has already said it. When you are working you do not have a boyfriend. It is hard to lie about that but you will get used to it. Some guys are really creepy and will ask a lot. Get used to it.

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikki_Fox View Post
    Just explain that he booked your time and he should have asked in advance if that was going to be a deal breaker - and that you need X amount for the cancellation ( depends on your rate ) - since he was at your place he may have gotten spooked that he ( your BF ) was going to come there and be upset or to rob him - unfortunately others pay for the shitty things that some people do to clients and some do get set up like that

    if he simply says no it depends on why he said no - but I always try to get something from them - if he is a gentlemen / decent client he will pay
    That is all so very brilliant! I'm going to read this repeatedly, haha. Being demanding is hard for me, but it allows people to walk all over me which is NOT cool, so THANK YOU for explaining exactly how to handle this type of situation!!

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    yea - many of these guys can smell weakness and will try to use it - I was reading a recent discussion on a board and they were sharing a tip to take advantage of new girls - tricking them or taking advantage of ladies who dont know to get the money up front - trying to pay at the end and only if she was worth it blah blah - stay on your toes sweetie

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    ^^yep, this is how alot of guys are. I hate this type, so annoying

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    You know, even if I put my most blindly-pro-customer hat on, I can't say you should be blaming yourself for anything. You got a weird guy, and one who is a total douche, since he cancelled for a horrible reason and didn't offer a cancellation fee. Yeah, avoiding the bf topic in the future is smart. Maybe, for first-time customers, you have a "pay immediately" policy? I don't see escorts so I don't know the customary procedures, but when seeing a new FBSM girl the first time, I'm never put off if she asks me to pay up front.

    Just as a different POV, I can tell you that, to the point I care at all (I never ask, but sometimes it just comes out), I tend to prefer my provider have a BF. Partially, it's the silly idea that "hey, she's got a bf who she's involved with, so of course I and everyone else has to pay"... I remember once a fave of mine who was unattached got really stoned and mentioned to me "I'm thinking of fucking that guy behind the counter at the sandwich shop across the street." And I couldn't help it, the thought that immediately popped into my head was "wait, *I* am paying, but she'll fuck that ugly loser for free?!?!" In real life, I realize that our for-pay relationship is as much my choice as hers -- I didn't really want to date her, I adored her, but wanted to be able to pay her and leave. But ridiculously, it ended up bugging me anyway; whereas stories about boyfriends never bug me. And also, as safe as we both may want to be, incidental and not-so-incidental (if we've developed any chemistry at all) unsafe contact can and does occur, and in those cases I just tend to like the idea that she's only got one real-life partner with whom she has uncovered sex, rather than picking up a new guy at the nightclub every weekend. And yes, I realize all the silliness involved in all these thoughts, but there it is.

    By contrast, my current fave girl (FBSM girl) has a bf, I have no problem with her talking about him. Since she and I interact a lot (by phone and text) between sessions, I'm constantly reminding her to make sure her bf is ok with it, tell me to if she's going off on vacation with him so I can avoid texting her, etc. I introduced her to "FBDSM", and occasionally she'll tell me, "I tried such-and-such BDSM technique I learned from you on my bf, and here's what happened", and then we plot out together what she should do to him next (yes, I realize she could be making that up since she knows I dig it; point is, I have no prob w/ bf talk).

    I'm not sure what exactly you might do with this information Just giving you a glimpse into a variety of customer views I guess.

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    Quote Originally Posted by Radius View Post
    Maybe, for first-time customers, you have a "pay immediately" policy?

    ..... I remember once a fave of mine who was unattached got really stoned and mentioned to me "I'm thinking of fucking that guy behind the counter at the sandwich shop across the street." And I couldn't help it, the thought that immediately popped into my head was "wait, *I* am paying, but she'll fuck that ugly loser for free?!?!"
    The weird thing was that I normally will give the guy a nice friendly hug/embrace when I first meet him...but as soon as this guy walked through the door he stood kind of stand-offish, remaining close to the door, and immediately started asking questions about me/my life. He had a sweet shy smile, so I figured talking would make him feel more at ease....I planned to ask for the moolah as soon as there was a comfortable break in the conversation and we moved toward the bed....but none of those things happened :/ He SAID he's seen other girls before too....but who knows.

    In response to your "sandwich shop guy" story .....omg that gave me a nice belly laugh!! Sorry you had to be the recipient of that type of nonsense. Isn't the big selling point of seeing a provider that you make your client feel like the only one in the universe during your time together? Maybe she threw her memo out, haha.

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    Wow, now I'm crazy curious about what was going through that guy's head. You hadn't gotten a reference from him first, so no insight from his previous girl, if any, too bad!

    Ha, thank you for the sympathy She was actually a great provider, I think what happened is, especially after smoking 420, she just got a little *too* comfortable with me. I had taught her how to do bdsm, and we always swapped stories -- her domination stories were always about her with her bf or one of her girlfriends, mine were always about my then-wife. I love swapping domination stories with my providers, especially the ones I've personally mentored in bdsm. She just got a bit too comfortable and started telling me about other extracurricular guys. Hey, I know that little troll from that sandwich shop across the street, I used to eat there before or after our sessions, I'm waaaaay more handsome lol

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    I've never done escorting and haven't yet commenced my body rub work, but if it were me, I'd have some kind of slightly altered persona from my real life. Just to create some distance.

    If I DID slip up and mentioned a partner, and they reacted badly, I may try to mitigate it (especially with that particular guy you mentioned who seemed a bit shy and interested in you on a mental / emotional level) by saying I wasn't happy with my partner and I craved the affection and touch of another man...namely him. Heheh.

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    He might have just been overly paranoid about potential LE risk or Pimp risk . The questions could have just been trying to get a handle on if there was any.
    Our services are different but I see a lot of clients one on one ( for massage at varying states of undress ) and I have had people leave here and there before an appointment. I kind of just take it in stride that there will be some no shows , flakes. ect.

    If you are looking for a story, my usual is something like " Yeah, I am having SO much FUN here but I have some old bills and want to save to travel so here I am ! ".

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    He might have just been overly paranoid about potential LE risk or Pimp risk . The questions could have just been trying to get a handle on if there was any.
    Our services are different but I see a lot of clients one on one ( for massage at varying states of undress ) and I have had people leave here and there before an appointment. I kind of just take it in stride that there will be some no shows , flakes. ect.

    If you are looking for a story, my usual is something like " Yeah, I am having SO much FUN here but I have some old bills and want to save to travel so here I am ! ".

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    ^^^
    Yeah, I was always under the impression that in the escorting scene, "boyfriend" was just another euphuism for "pimp". Any woman with "boyfriends", "managers", "bodyguards" or whatever were to be avoided. Just make up an entirely fake story about yourself that doesn't include anyone close to you. I used to tell guys that I was entirely single, had no siblings/children, and both of my parents were dead. Seriously, these guys should know nothing about the real you.
    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

    "Show me a hot chick and I'll show you someone who's tired of fucking her."






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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    Not entirely related, but not entirely unrelated:

    My best friend knows what I do. I think I revealed a little more info than she was comfortable with. I may have potentially created a crack in the friendship. Bummed.

    But lesson learned.
    mellymay.com

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    ^ sorry to hear that @melly -

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    Even if you have clients who don't mind that you have a boyfriend, it's preferable to say that you are single just to make them think that they "may" have a chance with you. I don't escort, I do body rubs and it's an advice a co-worker gave me when I was new to help me cultivate some regulars.

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    Tooooons of guys always want to know about your personal life. I don't know why. It's like they get off to having a secret diary of all of the escort's personal lives or something. LOL. Anyway, yeah, totally just smile and make stuff up from now on! I had several dumb tricks...whenever I am staying in another city, I tell the receptionist my brother or sister is staying with me so I get two beds during check-in as long as it is available...always make sure to do the work on only one bed and that my 'sister' is staying with me and we can't use her bed. Guys want to know where your parents are, if they know, if you have another job outside of this. I just smile and smile and lie out my ass to feel what they want to hear and it usually shuts them up.

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    Default Re: My big mouth cost me a client:(

    ^^Yes, they always ask me if I have a bf and I always say no but they always are like why not!? As if there must be something wrong with me... I am a stripper but still pretty similar sitch...

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