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Thread: "Wow.. Really? I would have never guessed you were a stripper!"

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    Senior Member Kaylee84's Avatar
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    Duh "Wow.. Really? I would have never guessed you were a stripper!"

    I find it quite upsetting when I make a friend in school, and after getting comfortable with him/her their first response to my profession is "NO WAY!! But you're like, so.. normal?" I always respond with "Not all strippers are coked out prostitutes with children." In fact, I would say almost NONE are. I occasionally see the girl who's open about her drug problem, and yes.. I know when girls are doing extra's.. But I AM SO TIRED OF BEING ASSOCIATED WITH THESE WOMEN. (Not the single mothers.. that was just another "typical" stripper thing, to be a single mom) Not that these women are bad people, but damn! There are some high educated, hard working women in the club using their brains to make a ton of money in half the time! Why is that wrong? Why does the media portray us to all be a bunch of air headed bimbos? I am a college student, I don't do drugs, (NEVER HAVE)don't have children, I cook, clean, do weird old lady things (scrapbook, design cookbooks) and I'm in a long term faithful relationship! I AM TIRED OF BEING LOOKED AT LIKE I AM WORTHLESS SCUM WITH NO LIFE GOALS. Does anyone else get fed up with this crap? And what was your best comeback?



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  3. #2
    Veteran Member summerbre's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Wow.. Really? I would have never guessed you were a stripper!"

    There are lots of threads about this subject already... The generalized responses you'll get will vary between women who agree, this stigma is upsetting and hard to deal with, and women who are grateful because it keeps a lot of women out of the industry, thereby not saturating our clubs!

    I fall somewhere in the middle. I usually just don't tell a lot of new people I meet (like random strangers at bars or friends of friends), but the majority of people I do tell, while they may be surprised at first, tend to overall be nonjudgemental and accepting. I doubt any of your new-found friends look at you like "worthless scum with no life goals," or at least I hope not. Just because they held the stigma initially, doesn't mean they won't be able to see past their own stereotypes and still be your friend, and if it does, then they're not exactly friend material. As for the way the rest of society sees you, fuck it. You know who you are better than they do...

    Edit: Oh, also, I just want to add, the fact that you're getting so upset over how other people see you can sometimes be an indication of how you see yourself. This isn't like, an official psychoanalysis or anything, I'm just another stripper that's half way across the country sitting on her laptop before work , but the times I've felt the shittiest about doing this job were the times I needed to do some serious soul searching. Powerful reactions like the one you're having sometimes happen in response to people holding up a metaphorical mirror for us.
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    Default Re: "Wow.. Really? I would have never guessed you were a stripper!"

    I didn't tell anyone ! I didn't want the word getting out that " normal " people can strip or too many friends would have eventually wanted to head on my out of state dancing trips with me!

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    Default Re: "Wow.. Really? I would have never guessed you were a stripper!"

    Ppl are ignorant. Don't take their reactions so personally. If it bothers you so much, don't advertise.

    I will sm times tell ppl that I've just met that I dance, but they don't know my real name, & I try to get them to come see me at work. I keep a fair bit of emotional distance from them from the beginning, so if they get their ass up on their shoulders I can find it easier to blow them off.

    Even w/ this said, a couple of those ppl that I initially kept at a distance have come to be friends.

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    Default Re: "Wow.. Really? I would have never guessed you were a stripper!"

    I'm glad the stigma is there because if it wasn't more girls would be trying to do this and it would lose its mystique And no one world make money. A lot of people think its easy money and know nothing about the business. Strippers are tagged with porn, prostitution, and profession did

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    Default Re: "Wow.. Really? I would have never guessed you were a stripper!"

    My bad I'm new to this. But I was saying it a profession people feel women shouldn't do. Country is still weird about female sexuality. I say good be intrigued be judgmental feel like I'm a bad girl I'll keep making money.

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    Default Re: "Wow.. Really? I would have never guessed you were a stripper!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    Ppl are ignorant. Don't take their reactions so personally.

    I keep a fair bit of emotional distance from them from the beginning, so if they get their ass up on their shoulders I can find it easier to blow them off.
    This!^


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    Default Re: "Wow.. Really? I would have never guessed you were a stripper!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaylee84 View Post
    ....first response to my profession is "NO WAY!! But you're like, so.. normal?" ....Why does the media portray us to all be a bunch of air headed bimbos? I am a college student, I don't do drugs, (NEVER HAVE)don't have children, I cook, clean, do weird old lady things (scrapbook, design cookbooks) and I'm in a long term faithful relationship! I AM TIRED OF BEING LOOKED AT LIKE I AM WORTHLESS SCUM WITH NO LIFE GOALS. Does anyone else get fed up with this crap? And what was your best comeback?
    The media does that because there is money in it. Thats the simple answer. To vilify anyone in the adult industry is attention getting and that means money. As for being looked at like scum I say bring it on. That is one of the reasons I am totally out and open about what I do. I have made a great living with my G rated businesses. I successfully work at everything from children's birthday parties to corporate events with my other shows, none of it requires any sexual appeal at all. When it freaks people out that I also do adult entertainment it kinda breaks down that wall of ignorance a bit because they see they were wrong in their assumptions. I consider this another battle won. Hopefully he will think twice before judging again.
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    Default Re: "Wow.. Really? I would have never guessed you were a stripper!"

    Quote Originally Posted by summerbre View Post
    Edit: Oh, also, I just want to add, the fact that you're getting so upset over how other people see you can sometimes be an indication of how you see yourself. This isn't like, an official psychoanalysis or anything, I'm just another stripper that's half way across the country sitting on her laptop before work , but the times I've felt the shittiest about doing this job were the times I needed to do some serious soul searching. Powerful reactions like the one you're having sometimes happen in response to people holding up a metaphorical mirror for us.
    Summer basically said it perfectly. You sound young, you're still in college, I think what you may be experiencing is your "adjustment" into your new life as a dancer. That new life comes with lots of awesome things like more money, more freedom, more confidence, etc. But it also comes with all these fucked up societal stereotypes that in a vulnerable time can start eating away at you...I have been working over a period of 3 years and I can honestly say I have only gotten fully comfortable with this job in the last year. Just like summer said, I needed to do some soul searching, there was some part of me who had not accepted this new life of mine and was still railing against the identity of "stripper". You may always have friends who will react badly to the news of your job, that's fine, fuck them, they don't deserve to be your friend if they're going to behave like an asshat. Just like being a dancer teaches you how to be in control of sexual situations with men, it also forces you to take complete control of your life and boot out anything or anyone that doesn't belong...lest they stay on like a tumor bringing distress to your life and therefore hurting your money. IMO the money isn't as important as my sanity and happiness, but once I realized they were connected I started paying a lot more attention to monitoring my social circle...over time many people ragging on you can really get to you.

    That being said...it doesn't sound like your friends are neccessarily all being dicks...just ignorant. It's up to you to educate them! All my friends always have a lot of questions when I tell them, and a bit of shock is I think normal. But ultimately you just have to be yourself, eventually your friends see your job as just a job, some of them might even see it as a really cool job and want to come visit you!
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    Default Re: "Wow.. Really? I would have never guessed you were a stripper!"

    The reason unfortunately why this happens is many strippers are the stereotype and sadly there are women even here who fit the stereotype. Because of the stereotype many people see ALL strippers as scum and it bothers me. It's why I rarely tell people about it because of this. I remember I was dancing and in college and this student was writing an article about strippers and the teacher said something about sex in the clubs and how all strippers were prostitutes. This was a teacher and it got me upset that I cornered him and told him I was a dancer and I would never consider prostituting. I think he got mad at this because he gave me a C for the class though everyone else got B's and I did extra credit so I wouldn't get a C.

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    Veteran Member SnakeBabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Wow.. Really? I would have never guessed you were a stripper!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    The reason unfortunately why this happens is many strippers are the stereotype and sadly there are women even here who fit the stereotype. Because of the stereotype many people see ALL strippers as scum and it bothers me. ....
    Yup.
    I'd like to add there are women (and men) in Mainstream work that are this stereotype too.
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