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Thread: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from men!

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    Member ChocoChanelGirl's Avatar
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    Skull Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from men!

    ...I hate negativity.

    Lately I've been dancing less and less. No matter how many times I take off or take an extended break from dancing, I seem to always come back to negativity no matter what club I go to. Its so depressing at times.

    I've noticed more and more customers coming into the clubs like this, follow my scenario:

    Me: (Walks up to costumer with a smile and introduce myself) My name is Kelly!
    Customer: I'm doing okay (Doesn't even turn to look at me)
    Me: So how are you doing today? Whats your name?
    Customer: My name is Joe Blow. I'm alright, just chilling. (Still turned away, maybe even pulls out his cell phone)
    ***AWKWARD SILENCE FOR ABOUT 10 MINUTES BECAUSE BOTH PARTIES ARE AT DISCONNECTION***

    Hell, the guy isn't even paying attention to any of the girls on stage. You start to wonder why the f*** are they here. Wait, your damn club has a $1 beer special today...

    But anyway, this is what has been going on lately for the last couple of months. I don't know if I've just been blessed with asshole customers or people who are truly not interested in coming into the clubs anymore.

    Has anyone been feeling this way and experiencing customers like this?

    Whats the best way to mentally deal with this bullshit?

    Anyone have any websites that contain mantras and positive quotes?

    Anyone know a guru?

    Thanks!

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    That's really annoying. Honestly, the best thing to do is just walk away. If he can't even turn to look at you when you approach him, you're clearly not going to get any money out of him, so there's no point in wasting your time and getting yourself into a sour mood. Just move on and focus on the other customers in the club. It's extra annoying when it's quiet, but they're truly not worth the effort.

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    Senior Member ameena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    www.tinybuddha.com is always helpful for me. I always find that being in a positive state of mind helps, even when I have to fake it until it becomes a reality.
    Curiosity skilled the cat.

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    if its a busy night, walk away. but if its a slow night, i have had some luck with warming up some customers who at first were stand-offish becuase they were sick of getting the same old stripper lines and not being really entertained, talked to like people, or given the whole fantasy. sometimes you just have to approach with different questions or a different vibe than the other girls. this is only sometimes though, most of them are just assholes..and $1 specials?? wow, that must draw the losers like bugs to a light..so glad my club doesn't do that.

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    Veteran Member summerbre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    I second www.tinybuddha.com! One of their graphics is my desktop background.

    Is there a new club in your area you could try, perhaps one with a cover? Or, at the very least, just don't work the $1 beer nights? Sundays at my club are service industry nights, and we have drink specials til 8:00 PM... I try to avoid both Sundays and "drink" times as often as possible.

    There are a lot of book references/mantras/(possibly gurus?) in both the "Law of Attraction" and "Preserving your Psychological Well Being" threads. I'm too lazy to link, but they are stickied at the top of the Hustle Hut and Stripping General forums, respectively.
    “The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around like rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”
    - Anne Morris

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    Member ChocoChanelGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    Thank you ladies for the helpful tips and comments! And thankyou so much ameena for the tiny Buddha link!

    I've looked those hustle hut backwards and forwards and I've tried to implement those tactics in my opening hustle/intros. The above is just a generic script that I made up. I usually approach guys with a bubbly/sweet/I love being a stripper here voice and I say different things like "You look bored, I'll be your playmate for the day" or yadda yadda and they all still have the same shitty attitude it seems.

    It seems that at my club, it's every 1 out of 3 customers that act like this. I usually just walk on, but the attitude just seems to have gotten so worse over the years in the industry as a whole that I stopped having the desire to work more shifts and even work at other clubs.

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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    Quote Originally Posted by ChocoChanelGirl;2542676[B
    Me:[/B] (Walks up to costumer with a smile and introduce myself) My name is Kelly!
    Customer: I'm doing okay (Doesn't even turn to look at me)
    ^When guys say, "I'm ok!" or "I'm fine" and ignore you it basically means, "go away". Guys like this are either too sober to have developed social skills yet , or are cheap and there for a free stage show, which they make abundantly clear by being rude to the dancers.

    I know it's frustrating, it's as if they aren't expecting to be approached or "interrupted"...you're at a strip club buddy. If you go to a store the retail assistant is going to approach you, it's her job .

    Take a deep breath and smile, positivity breeds positivity and you don't want to give them the satisfaction of showing them that their attitude got to you. A simple, "No worries, have a good night/I'll come and talk to you later when you've settled in" is all you can really say before you go off to work the rest of the room. If someone treats you this way, don't try to drag on a one sided, awkward conversation-just excuse yourself and maybe try them later if they've loosened up.
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    are cheap and there for a free stage show
    It seems that at my club, it's every 1 out of 3 customers that act like this. I usually just walk on, but the attitude just seems to have gotten so worse over the years in the industry as a whole

    Not wanting to stray too far afield, but with the persistently poor economy there is now a large group of 'working class' strip club customers whose 'luxury' spending budgets are now confined to a low cover charge, a few beers, and a few dollars in stage tips. These customers are actually being placed in an embarrassing position if they allow dancers to 'maneuver' them such that they are forced to say 'no' to a private dance request which they badly want but simply can no longer afford. And this embarrassment is compounded if they manage to get a significant amount of attention from a particular dancer, but are financially unable to 'reciprocate' via tip money.

    Because of this economic fact, no amount of 'sales technique' on the part of the dancer is going to conjure up tip / private dance money that the customer simply doesn't have. The 'cold shoulder' reaction by such customers is arguably their way of saying 'I'd love to sit with you for a few minutes and then party with you in the private dance area, but I'm such a loser that I simply can't afford this. So I won't waste your time'.


    I know it's frustrating, it's as if they aren't expecting to be approached or "interrupted"...you're at a strip club buddy
    For better or worse, this is where dancer interests and clubowner interests diverge. From the clubowner's standpoint, every additional customer means more cover charge income and more drink sales revenues. And depending on how private dance revenue 'sharing' takes place between the dancers and a particular club, the clubowner may be losing next to nothing regardless of whether a given customer buys 10 private dances or zero private dances. On the flip side, if zero private dance customers are 'driven away', the dancers may be losing next to nothing ( a few tip dollars ) while the clubowner loses all of that customer's cover charge and drink purchase revenues. Thus clubowners will never support 'poor treatment' of such customers by dancers in an attempt to stop them from coming to the club again.


    While it hasn't yet been brought up in this thread, another 'new' phenomenon also seems to be taking place regarding strip club customers on limited budgets. Being short on 'luxury' budget, some customers are now expecting maximum 'bang' for their limited bucks. As such, they now do their 'homework' on strip club review sites, blogs etc. to the point where they know in advance which dancers in a given club are willing to provide 'extras' and which dancers won't, based on input from previous customers. In the 'good ol days' such customers were forced to 'invest' in a few private dances in order to discover for themselves whether or not a given dancer would provide 'extras' once in the private dance / VIP area, which provided some private dance income for ALL dancers. Today such discovery missions ( and 'unproductive' expenditures, from the customer's standpoint ) are no longer necessary, thus such customers may simply give 'clean' dancers the total 'cold shoulder' since they know in advance that the 'clean' dancer is not 'selling' what they are looking to 'buy'.
    Last edited by Melonie; 10-02-2013 at 02:07 AM.

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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    This is definitely rude and very difficult to "stomach" for a dancer, however, this is nothing personal because it is a customer's defense mechanism. If you watch and observe, a guy is approached every 2-3 minutes by a new dancer if he is sitting by himself. He gets annoyed and does not know how to say "no" for the 20th time. As a result he clams up and comes off as standoffish. Business is very different nowadays.

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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    PS. I've noticed that at this point sometimes they even act OFFENDED when being asked for a dance. Ouch! Although, it should not be taken personally either. Times are tough.

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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    Melonie is sooo right! Those guys are usually rude to hide the fact that they are broke and are trying to feel better about themselves by putting you down. It used to get to me, but now I know why they do it.

    It's great for you, they don't waste your time to get to the spending ones. Every no leads to a yes! Sales 101 and so true..

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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    Have you tried any other opening lines other than "Hi I'm Kelly?"
    Rebecca Avalon







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    Senior Member ameena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    Quote Originally Posted by britneyireland View Post
    Have you tried any other opening lines other than "Hi I'm Kelly?"
    I shamelessly talk about the weather. It may seem cheesy but it works and breaks the ice. You can really talk about anything as long as you promote your personality through whatever you're talking about. They just want to get an idea of what type of person you are. The more real/down-to-earth you seem, the better. Unless you have a killer body that does the talking for you
    Curiosity skilled the cat.

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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    Usually, if a guy is like this, I'll just say "Well, enjoy yourself. I'll come check on you later," and walk away gracefully. Sometimes they really do just need some time to warm up, especially if they're by themselves and possibly feeling awkward about it. Other times, they're just plain rude and have no intention of spending money. But hey, look at it this way - would you rather have a guy who makes it clear he's not interested, even if he's doing it in an asshole way, or have the cheap guy who acts excited to talk to you, but then has a million excuses why he won't get a dance after he's wasted 20 minutes of your time? Just a more positive spin on it... And if you excuse yourself gracefully and act like you understand, IME, you have a better chance of selling to them later if they are just trying to settle in and make themselves less awkward.

    Also, are you just sitting down right away and assuming it's ok? It really depends on the vibe a person is giving out to choose which tactic I use on them. On a lot of people, I will just sit down. But if they already look disconnected (ie. not paying attention to the dancers, have a cell phone out, refusing to make eye contact even as you're walking straight up to them), it's probably best to stay standing until you've gotten him to say he doesn't mind your company. If a guy is rude enough to ignore you, I would think he'd send you away if you straight-up ask if he wanted company if he didn't. If he says it's ok for you to join him, that's almost instantly an ice-breaker, cuz how can he keep being a total jackass after he's invited you? (And even if they are still aloof, it's probably because they're awkward/shy, but you'll know that at this point and be able to stay positive better). But just sitting with a guy who seems disinterested, and not giving him the chance to send you away by asking if it's ok to stay with him, probably makes some guys defensive. Sometimes, I think it's not just that they're trying to be rude, but maybe they feel annoyed that you kinda "sprang" yourself on them. Yes, they should expect to get approached by many dancers a night, but they still want to feel empowered to make the decision to have you (or whatever other dancer) next to them. They're probably much more likely to say "yes" to you asking if it's ok to join them than they are to be happy and nice when you just assume it's ok.

    And if they say "no thanks" or "not right now," well, you've bypassed the 10 minutes of awkward silence because you were given a clear opening to say "ok, I'll check on you later" and walk away instead of sitting there wondering "What now?"
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Veteran Member Gabrielle MB's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    I try to keep in mind a Tony Robbins saying that goes something like; "When two people meet, if there's rapport, the person who's MOST confident will ALWAYS influence the other." I would NEVER EVER sit with a customer that was not leading to some sort of gain for me (even if it's just a nice conversation- but EOTP & ABC*). I try to plant seeds during the night by passing by or quickly stopping at a guy/table and saying specific- to- him things i.e. to grumpy guy- "smile there's boobies everywhere!" *smile, bounce boobies*, to guy texting- *mock scolding* "Don't you know there's no texting in titty bars!!" *big smile or wink*. They always laugh, then when I revisit them later they're already warmed up to me. I try to say something witty or funny to everything I notice and not just gloss over it. LOA* is bringing it to me, it's my job to 'Receive' it. Then when I come back I'm a familiar 'refreshing' girl, not a "get a dance or get the fuck out asshole!* girl. Even though that's what I'm really thinking. As far as the low budget guys, I respect that and if they say they can't afford a dance, I make them feel welcome to an extent. I'd say, " That's cool as long as you're tipping. Nobody would come into a strip club for the expensive drinks. (They ALWAYS: agree, get a little uncomfortable because I put them on the spot, glance around, settle on the chick on stage.... I watch... Wait for it... Swoop!) She's hot! gimmie some money to tip her!" (standing.. big smile, all excited) Now I've shown him that #1 low budget doesn't mean you're not welcome, but non participation isn't an option on my watch! #2 Ive got the tipping rolling (usually when one girl tips another it gets this phenomenon going that everybody starts going up to the stage. #3 I got the girl on stage to feel special #4 when he comes in WITH some money he'll remember me or at least that the money is not supposed to stay safe and warm in his pocket but free and chillin' in a dancer's garter. If you can't get a dollar out of the guy to tip someone else, then there is no hope and you must immediately pour a drink on his head-- joking! Just walk away. If you must say something snarky to make yourself feel better (cause I promise he doesn't give a shit) don't be too rude, say something like 'you're missing out baby!' or 'hope you're ready for fun next time!' Group mentality is different but works to your advantage. Guys like to pick on each other so they do the lay up for you. "Oh, he's first time/ shy/ broke/ gay/ sad/ hungover/ married and doesn't want to be here/ get a dance. What?? That's crazy talk! All the girls here are HOT and really good. *lean in, wink* How could anyone not want to have fun here? I know you're smarter than that, you're bound and determined to make this the best night ever!....So let's start. My lap dances are thirty, my vip three hundred, where do you want to start?" Now you can insert Christys tips and tricks from hustle hut. *EOTP eye on the prize *ABC always be closing *LoA Law of Attraction (my enter key isn't working so this is kinda run on so sorry but I hope I helped)

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walking up to customers & being completely ignored/ Really NEGATIVE vibes from me

    ^^ That is a really interesting saying! I like it!

    I've run into more and more of these dudes - they are basically furniture and half the time are not even watching us.
    I test them a bit - if they brush me off, I'll either put on a hurt/offended tone and say "I guess I'm bothering you aren't I?", or else the "give it to me straight" tone and "Do you want me to leave you alone?" If they are just getting warmed up or are socially awkward, they will often go all apologetic; if they are really just dicks there to drink beer, they'll say "Yes, leave me alone" or else give a VERY insincere "No, you're not bothering me".
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

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