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Thread: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

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    Default How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    I just started stripping and I found it incredibly difficult and awkward to approach men and just start up a conversation and then turn it into "would you like a lap dance?" without making it sound too forceful.. and also which men should I go after? How do I know if they want me to talk to them?

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    everybody is nervous at first. i am such a shy person, its still a struggle to approach, especially large groups! so you arent alone. it will get easier, the worst they can say is no.. but if you don't ask, you won't receive!
    look through best of hustle hut, and helpful things in hustle hut.

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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    If it's a large group I just walk up to them and ask "Who's the bachelor?"
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    That is one of the beautiful things about this job - eventually, you'll learn not to be shy anymore! The only way to learn, like really *learn*, is through trial and error. But reading random threads throughout hustle hut will help, too. I remember someone on one of the threads here said, while they get ready they like to watch TV shows or movies starring a female character they want to emulate in the club. If you're shy, try embodying the personality of someone (real or fake) who is confident.
    “The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around like rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”
    - Anne Morris

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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    This is usually where my double shot of vodka comes in LOL to give me my liquid courage! otherwise I can't talk to anyone :p
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    In some clubs/shifts, you really have to just go up to whoever is available. If there's a choice, a guy who is looking at you before you go up to him or who was eying you on stage is ideal. Lacking that, pick someone and just go for it. The more you work, the better idea you'll get of the type of customer that is into you, but you can never really predict it, so it's best to just go up to everyone.

    As for feeling awkward... Guys come into the club to spend time with dancers and give them money. If you're avoiding them or even just avoiding offering them dances, you're depriving them of what they came to the club to do. I find it helps to change your frame of mind to 'helping' them get a dance and have fun, rather than hustling them in a you vs. them way.

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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    Just remember that when customers do anything that makes you feel bad, it's their fault. Expect some customers to just be jerks, and when that happens do not ever blame yourself. Even if they're acting like you're the one that did something wrong- you're not. Don't ever blame yourself. Once you learn that it doesn't matter whether or not they like you, it's easier to stop being shy.

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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    I talk about this a lot in my Step by Step Stripping ebook. Step 1 is having a bunch of opening "lines" that are unique to you. I list a bunch that you can take and tweak to suit your personality. For example instead of saying "can I sit with you?" Say "you wouldn't mind if I sat down and rested my feet with you, would you?" It's just a slightly different way of saying the same thing....but you will get the answer if YES more often.

    Just like any skill, it seems hard at first, but once you practice them and use them over and over it will be automatic. And the more automatic it becomes, the less your emotions control you.

    I invite you to check out the free trial of DancerWealth. We are celebrating 10 years of teaching dancers how to make more money. Just click on the link in my signature
    Rebecca Avalon







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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    Be an actress. I'm shy too, I was extremely introverted before I started dancing. You'd never guess by the way I easily approach customers. I'm there to make money, and if I approach no one I won't make very much money. Be sexy, smile a lot, and when transitioning into lap dances don't say "lap dances"... say, "I want to take you to the VIP" or "would you like to go have fun with me in the VIP now?"

    Good luck
    "Rather have my feet hurting than my pockets."

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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    Quote Originally Posted by starlily View Post
    Just remember that when customers do anything that makes you feel bad, it's their fault. Expect some customers to just be jerks, and when that happens do not ever blame yourself. Even if they're acting like you're the one that did something wrong- you're not. Don't ever blame yourself. Once you learn that it doesn't matter whether or not they like you, it's easier to stop being shy.
    This's reallyGREAT, thank you!


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    My tits approach before I do.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    You know it really doesn't matter if they want you to talk to them because that's the reason they came into the club. Your job is to engage them and get them to buy dances and VIPs. I usually go to the older gentlemen first but like Shanna said, sometimes you just have to go up to whoever is available. I usually give them about a song of chatting and then I say something along the lines of "im ready to get naked for you now". I don't really even mention the word dance (something I learned from hustle hut) LOL.
    This thread has links to threads that have been some of the most useful on the site. Start reading.
    https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...-Of-Hustle-Hut

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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    When you ladies are sitting down talking to the customer and you're getting ready to ask for/suggest a dance, do you suggest a lap dance or straight for VIP?

    And these are good tips, I'm good at initiating conversation with customers, but not so good at closing, because I never know what to say to go into the lapdance/vip thing. All the ones I've sold was the guy asking for it. Definitely working on my aggressiveness with the help of Hustle Hut. And "I'm ready to get naked for you now" is a good one, Ariel. LOL And the one-song rule is a good one to apply. Great, great tips, girls!

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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    After you establish that he wants a dance, ask what kind he wants. Ask him if he just wants a "quicky" or if he's down for the "royal treatment."

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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    Thanks Ella, just don't use it at my club lol.
    I usually dance first and then go into my VIP sales pitch. Most customers aren't going to be down to spend hundreds to thousands of dollars in VIP after 3 minutes of chatting. You have to warm them up first. If I feel he probably won't be a VIP customer, I'll try to do some dances for him WHILE I talk to him about the VIP room. If I think he is definitely a contender for VIP, I will chat for about 15 mins then bring up the VIP. If he doesn't bite, I will give him dances so I don't walk away with nothing. VIP is always my most important conquest, though.

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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nina_ View Post
    Be an actress. I'm shy too, I was extremely introverted before I started dancing. You'd never guess by the way I easily approach customers. I'm there to make money, and if I approach no one I won't make very much money. Be sexy, smile a lot, and when transitioning into lap dances don't say "lap dances"... say, "I want to take you to the VIP" or "would you like to go have fun with me in the VIP now?"

    Good luck
    This is what I did too I am very shy and introverted. In fact people who know me in real life would never guess I had been a stripper because of this. I looked at it as playing a role and that I was an actress. This helped a lot pretending to be someone else.

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    Default Re: How to approach men if you're really shy and which men to approach?

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    Thanks Ella, just don't use it at my club lol.
    I usually dance first and then go into my VIP sales pitch. Most customers aren't going to be down to spend hundreds to thousands of dollars in VIP after 3 minutes of chatting. You have to warm them up first. If I feel he probably won't be a VIP customer, I'll try to do some dances for him WHILE I talk to him about the VIP room. If I think he is definitely a contender for VIP, I will chat for about 15 mins then bring up the VIP. If he doesn't bite, I will give him dances so I don't walk away with nothing. VIP is always my most important conquest, though.
    I have a terrible habit of selling the dance (usually 2 for $50), just being happy that I sold the dance & immediately going back to the DR to freshen up or whatever... then I'll emerge all vanilla-scented and freshly lip-glossed, and end up just sitting with the guy, finishing my drink and waiting for the right moment to sell another dance... I never even think about VIP... but I'm gonna today! I love the idea of the dance just being the preview of the "much more private/ luxurious/ whatever" VIP. Oh yes, this is happening TUH-DAY.

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