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Thread: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

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    Senior Member Bone's Avatar
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    Default What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    Just that. I've been a few times solo after work for a drink and a look around. I've noticed some of the dancers avoid approaching you completely, even if you have given them some attention on their stage shows, but other will bounce right up to you the moment you sit down. It seems you are ignored more if you do show up by yourself. And, though I hate to admit it, the ones which come up immediately seem to be the lower tier ladies.

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    I NEVER go in with other guys and never have any trouble attracting attention. If you are getting ignored you are probably putting out some sort of a "don't bother me" vibe when girls come near you. I think you will find that most dancers will approach a guy who is alone before they approach a group.
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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    ^^What yoda said. Also, just a guess, but maybe you get the "lower tier" dancers first because they feel the need to rush over to you before you spot another, better looking one? Idk, I personally like to give a guy some time to settle in and start on a drink before I go over. Otherwise, more often than not, I'll get shooed away with an "I just got here" response.

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    I always liked the solo men better and I never went over to them right away. I waited until they got their drink then approached them.

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bone View Post
    It seems you are ignored more if you do show up by yourself.
    ^IME, customers who come in "solo" seem to get hustled and approached MUCH more than other customers i.e. groups, couples etc. They are an easy target and usually spend more than a group would. Maybe it's something you are doing, or the way you are dressing that is really repelling the ladies ?
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    Agree with all of the above. I hated groups. I would always approach a solo guy over a group, any frikin' day.

    Since you're by yourself, do you play on your phone to keep busy? When the "lower-tier" girls come up to you, do you politely send them away shortly, or do you let them hang out so long that other dancers give up on you? Or are you rude when you send girls away and create a reputation as a "jerk?"

    There could be many reasons you're being ignored, and we won't be able to tell you why without watching you in action. But I've never met a dancer who preferred groups over a solo guy.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

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    Senior Member Bone's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    I like to think I'm not the creepy guy in the corner. I usually come in and sit at the bar, just my preference for the first drink or two. I give a smile, ask their name, and usually say I'm just getting settled in and thanks for saying hi. I'd say over half the time my first convo is with the bar tender if its a lady. I've found they are great sources of info and, in one case, was a girl filling in for a few hours. Ended up being great at hand massages and had a nice time with her after she got out from behind the bar.

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    ^^ Umm... you think this might be your problem? A lot of girls avoid guys at the bar - especially if they are far more enamored with the female bartender than they are the dancers. Who wants to deal with the guy who would rather chat up the cute "non-dancer" for free than pay attention to the girls who are actually there to give sensual attention for a fee?
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    I am a barfly who always travels solo and I rarely lack for contestants for my spending. The rare exceptions that I've experienced were a few small clubs in the deep south which had very table-centric atmospheres (they felt almost more like hostess clubs), but even then the occasional girl made her way over to the bar to chat.

    Bone, I agree with others here who say that you might want to think about what appearances or vibes you might be giving off. Aurora may be right about the impact of you fawning over the bartender.

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    I, too, agree with the general sentiment. I go with buddies a little more than half the time, and I find I get approached a bit more, and faster, when I'm solo. If I'm solo and want to hide from the strippers while I get my bearings, one of the ways I do that is to sit up at the tip rail and chat up the bartender. If I want attention from the strippers, I sit alone at a table that isn't in a dark corner.

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    Reminder Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    I like a lone wolf....

    I like when it's just you and me... with no other thought in your mind but my body and my hot skin brushing up against you. I like it when I can overwhelm your senses with warm whispers in darkness of our little pleasure cave. It's dark but I can feel your eyes all over me. Time slows down. You inhale and you can almost taste me. I can feel you wanting me, I can feel your desire every time you breathe. All of the minutiae vanishes. It's just us, it's just now, we melt into the moment....


    But THAT only happens when you are:

    1. Approachable! You have to be approachable. Being aloof or turning your back to me won't win you any favor. Body language is key. Stay open.

    2. Sitting closer to the action. Girls on stage will occasionally engage in some chit chat with you. Be friendly. Compliment them. Tip well. "Some attention" means nothing to me. In fact paying attention is appreciated but if you want a dance you have to step it up.

    3. Able to Break the Ice. When girls see you getting dances they'll see that you're not a weirdo in the shadows just gawking. You have to show that you're willing to spend.

    If you are sitting by yourself all night.... it seems like you just want to be left alone. That's just an observation. Some customers at clubs just want to enjoy the eye candy. They don't want to be bothered. We remember not to bug them because, unfortunately, interacting with them or "distracting" them isn't a nice experience.

    If you're having a hard time or feeling awkward or unfamiliar with the dancers... be your own hero and get the ball rolling... try out a dancer or two that you find charming. Be upfront and tip dancers, especially the ones you like. Tip them well, ask for dances or company. Smile. Pay them well. Have a good time and enjoy yourself.


    Heed my advice and--- Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Always repeat...
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
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    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    I like a lone wolf....

    I like when it's just you and me... with no other thought in your mind but my body and my hot skin brushing up against you. I like it when I can overwhelm your senses with warm whispers in darkness of our little pleasure cave. It's dark but I can feel your eyes all over me. Time slows down. You inhale and you can almost taste me. I can feel you wanting me, I can feel your desire every time you breathe. All of the minutiae vanishes. It's just us, it's just now, we melt into the moment....
    breathe yoda, breathe! Gotta get my ass to Nudie-Land....
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    I always hit up the solo guys first. If there are a bunch of solo guys, I hit up the older ones b4 the younger ones. If there are lots of older, solo guys, I hit up the less attractive ones first. (Old, solo, less attractive guys are usually there to buy dances.) This is how I hunt my prey.

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bone View Post
    I'd say over half the time my first convo is with the bar tender if its a lady.
    ^You're "that guy" then . Customers who come in and more or less ignore or dismiss the dancers and prefer to annoy the bartenders are normally cheap. IME, they flirt and tip the bartender hoping that she will "go home with them" and see waitresses and bartenders as "unattainable" and therefore a challenge.

    Our "stripper senses" pick up on things like this VERY easily and VERY quickly, that's why you aren't getting approached. Also, if you are going to the same club each time or a string of the same clubs, the dancers will have already noticed your behaviour and know better than to approach you.

    If you go back to these clubs, you'll have to approach the dancers you find alluring instead of waiting for them to make the first move. Once the girls notice your interest in them, they will start approaching you.
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Senior Member Bone's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    Hmm, never had any intention of picking up the bartender or anyone who works at a club. I've bar tended and been a bouncer myself so I appreciate someone who is good a mixing a drink. They have to make a buck too as the saying goes. And they tend to know the dancers and offer up some info. I'd have to say some of the most fun I've had with dancers is based off the bar tender's advice.

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bone View Post
    Hmm, never had any intention of picking up the bartender or anyone who works at a club. I've bar tended and been a bouncer myself so I appreciate someone who is good a mixing a drink. They have to make a buck too as the saying goes. And they tend to know the dancers and offer up some info. I'd have to say some of the most fun I've had with dancers is based off the bar tender's advice.
    Still, sometimes it's not so easy for a dancer. I have seen this happen a lot, I would see a customer really chatting it up with a bartender and then I don't want to be rude and interrupt them. I'm thinking, well he is probably into the bartender more. I understand since some guys are like that and some customers are into the "can't have what you want" aspect or see non-dancers as less threatening.

    If a dancer that you find less attractive tries to chat you up, you could try saying "I just got here, maybe later." Or you could flat out say "I'm not ready for dances right now, maybe later." I appreciate the honesty of some of these guys, but probably not all dancers do.

    If you do have one that you think is attractive sit next to you, try to face her more. Sometimes if I sit with a guy, I watch his body posture. If he is on his phone texting then I feel like I am interrupting something and want to go away. If he is talking to me yet facing the stage and looking at the girls, then I also feel like maybe it isn't a good time to talk.

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    The same thing a crocodile thinks when a prey item separates itself from the herd. SCORE!!!!
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    [QUOTE=Sansonnet;2545021]Still, sometimes it's not so easy for a dancer. I have seen this happen a lot, I would see a customer really chatting it up with a bartender and then I don't want to be rude and interrupt them. I'm thinking, well he is probably into the bartender more. I understand since some guys are like that and some customers are into the "can't have what you want" aspect or see non-dancers as less threatening.

    If a dancer that you find less attractive tries to chat you up, you could try saying "I just got here, maybe later." Or you could flat out say "I'm not ready for dances right now, maybe later." I appreciate the honesty of some of these guys, but probably not all dancers do.
    [QUOTE]

    Sansonnet, Bad Stripper, Bad! I hate the words maybe later. Train men out of using them- seriously! I agree with you about the honesty but maybe later is so unspecific and if this guy wants to learn how to treat dancers in the club then lets make him honest and specific.

    OP,If you don't want a dance with the girl just say no. or no, i'm looking for another type (blonde, redhead, albino midget). or, I am here for dances but I plan on watching the stage and settling into the atmosphere first. Be honest and don't fuck the dancers around with wishy washy answers- If you would like the dancer to come back so she can dance for you then tell her.

    Solo men have always been my preference- or small groups of 2-3 (then I bring my pack over and we get to work).
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

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    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    Good stuff so far... So this goes to another follow up. A guy walks in, has a drink or two, turns down the first couple of dancers that approach him. Do you pass that on to other dancers or keep it to yourself? From what I've heard the info can be spread quickly.

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    Guys coming in alone always seemed to make better "targets" for the girls who were hustling at the time. When in with a group, there is always the chance the guy is just tagging along. When alone, its clear the guy decided to viasit the club, most likely for the fact it is a strip club.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bone View Post
    Good stuff so far... So this goes to another follow up. A guy walks in, has a drink or two, turns down the first couple of dancers that approach him. Do you pass that on to other dancers or keep it to yourself? From what I've heard the info can be spread quickly.
    Yes. We communicate nstantly using a high pitched whistle in a frequency only strippers and dogs can hear. But really, it's out job to take a look at a guy and decide if he's worth the trouble. If you turn down a couple hotties, right off the bat, I will not bother with you. If you turn down a crackhead who smells like bubblegum and swamp water, I may swing by in a few. If you seem happy with the bartender, I will leave you alone. I am the all seeing stripper eyeball. If you are there for strippers, act like you are there for strippers! Sit at a table. Watch the stage. Tip and play nice! If you come in all the time and turn down hotties, hang at the bar, don't spend $, then yes--the ladies will talk about you. Bartenders don't always know that much about the girls. They know about the girls that drink and make them $. They generally talk up the girls that help them out--which are not always the girls that will help you out. As far we stripper's exchanging info, we will warn each other if your a waste of time. Except, we won't warn swamp water girl. To her, we will say, "SW! That dude at the bar gave me 4 Gs last time he was here!!! I did have to sit with him for 5 hours before hand and follow him to a few tables, but it was worth it!!!"

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    Beckon over the girl that you want. Or ask the bartender what her name is and call her over. Or ask the bartender to.
    Info passed over or not, we can see if a guy turns a girl down-if a girl approaches and her and the customer don't get up and go to the dance room.
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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bone View Post
    Good stuff so far... So this goes to another follow up. A guy walks in, has a drink or two, turns down the first couple of dancers that approach him. Do you pass that on to other dancers or keep it to yourself? From what I've heard the info can be spread quickly.
    Mehhhh. Sometimes. I don't gossip when I'm on the clock. But if a dancer sees me talking to a guy for a while and then I walk away, sometimes she'll ask me "what's up with that guy over there?" I give her an honest response. Usually they say they are waiting for so-and-so or they say they aren't ready yet or they want a redhead or something. If a guy asks some asshole question like "what are you going to do for this $20?" I let girls know he's a cheap creep. Again... only if they ask.

    Your problem, Bone, is that you worry about what girls say about you. Instead you should be getting dances. Rather than stressing or judging girls (calling them "low tier") and waiting for a perfect specimen to approach you, you should be having a good time. You need to break the ice. Your dream girl is less likely to approach you if all she sees is you chatting with the bartender and shoo-ing her colleagues away. Either you come up to your favorite and ask for a dance or you behave like your in a strip club and sample some other dancers.

    I think I see what your problem is. You look aloof and judgmental. You reject ambitious dancers and HOLD OUT for something better. You sit at the bar rather than at the tip rail. We see that as a guy that wants to see the sights and superimpose some sort of number/tier system on every lady that walks by. Tell me, Bone... does that strike you as behavior that's inviting?

    When you say:
    Quote Originally Posted by Bone View Post
    I've been a few times solo after work for a drink and a look around. I've noticed some of the dancers avoid approaching you completely...
    You clearly indicate that you're there for a drink and a look around. You are not there to spend. Why would a dancer waste her time? You say you have "given them some attention on their stage shows" but we don't pay our bills with attention. Dancers may already be seeing you as someone who is a waste of time and a waste of space. How can you be surprised that you're being avoided? You need to come up to a dancer you like and take a bit of initiative. If you've been frequenting a club and rarely spend money you're going to be treated as a person who wants to come in and look/drink/sit rather than actually partake in the activities strip clubs have to offer a.k.a. rooms/dances.

    Strip clubs are places where you tip ladies on stage with money, not attention. They are places where you place your butt down in a seat by the stage, not in a bar stool whilst looking from a distance. Strip clubs are places where you get dances... they are NOT places where you get "hand massages" from bartenders.

    Check your GPS, dude. Figure out where you are and act accordingly. This is a strip club we are talking about. If you want to come in and sit at the bar and get hand massages you may want to look into http://www.thebeautybar.com/New_York/martinis.php
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    Sophia basically summed everything up as nicely as could be done.

    I'll just add that it doesn't matter what your "intentions" are with the bartender - whether you think you're gonna take her home or not. The point is, if you're talking to her extensively enough that you're getting her out from behind the bar to get hand massages, you're clearly giving more attention than just appreciating her work and complimenting her drink-making skills. You also specifically say that your first interaction is usually with the bartender... if it's a lady. So you don't talk to the male bartenders as extensively?

    It has nothing to do with you being solo - it's how you're presenting yourself and your intentions in the club. What you want and how you're acting are contradicting each other. We can't read minds, just body language. If you want dancer attention, you have to go sit closer to the dancers. All you look like currently is a cheap guy who wants attention from the pretty bartenders for free.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Default Re: What is your opinion of guys who come in solo?

    By attention I meant tips, sorry for the confusion.

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    By coolshot in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 05-22-2003, 10:18 AM

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