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Thread: Fantasy vs reality

  1. #1
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    Default Fantasy vs reality

    A question for girls who do any kind of taboo roleplay: how can you tell if it is 'just fantasy'?

    Obviously there is no way of really knowing, but how do you make the decision?

    I had a guy yesterday who wanted a fairly extreme forced/underage roleplay. He was polite and respectful and thanked me after the show, telling me how much he'd enjoyed it. I don't like to jump to negative conclusions about these guys. After all, there are plenty of women who fantasise about forced sex, besides a massive community that are into the adult baby/'littles' scene, which certainly has nothing to do with fancying children. With this in mind, I usually assume that most of these guys just enjoy seeing adult women displaying childlike qualities; however, I accept that a genuine nutcase might slip through the net.

    The one time I was really truly disturbed on cam was when a guy told me he'd raped women. I just felt, in this case, that the guy wasn't just a fantasist... the way he said it left me cold. For me, the issue isn't so much the extremity of what's discussed, but the specific manner in which its discussed. I have also noticed that some of the taboo guys are amongst the most considerate and respectful, whereas some of the rude obnoxious and pushy guys are comparatively 'vanilla' in what they request, but if anything could be more likely to be the dickheads in real life.

    I can completely understand why some girls avoid anything even remotely taboo, and of course you shouldn't ever do anything that makes you feel uneasy, but I don't think this is an automatic guarantee of avoiding the really horrible guys.

    Any thoughts?

    Hx

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    I am not sure how too tell if the guy is ummm....a crazy psycho..I just assume they all are regardless of how taboo or boring the guys request is.

    All I can say is I would rather take one for the team,then have a guy go out and fulfill his fantasies in real life.

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    It really just depends on the vibe I'm getting. I don't do straight-up rape roleplay, just because I find it disturbing so it's not worth the money to me.

    However, I do a lot of underage roleplay. It's always "consensual"--as consensual as someone having sex with their father or w/e can get, anyway--and most of the time I don't get super creepy vibes from these custies. I think they just get off on the taboo aspect, which I can understand. Basically my bottom line is that if a custie makes me feel uncomfortable or creeped out, or wants something that I'm uncomfortable with, I just tell them no. There's no reason to compromise your self-respect or peace of mind for a show. Especially when there are plenty of vanilla guys willing to pay the same price.

    On that note... it's my belief that most rapists don't consider themselves rapists. They're not rape fetishists and they don't see what they do as rape at all. Hell, they probably think rapists are scum. But they think rape is something that happens at gun- or knife-point to "good girls", not something that they've done to their own wives or women who are too drunk to consent. So although I don't personally indulge their fetish I'd say that the guys who request rape roleplay are actually less likely to be rapists than the pushy, misogynistic vanilla guys who won't take no for an answer.


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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    I had a guy ask me to specifically say "fuck my 15 year old pussy, daddy!" And I just said no, can't be that specific, and he left the room. I enjoy pretending to be a little girl, but I didn't want to take the chance that it might be against the rules. I do hate that the rules (on Streamate) are so vague...

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    God/dess justanothercamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Quote Originally Posted by HornyHeidiBush View Post
    A question for girls who do any kind of taboo roleplay: how can you tell if it is 'just fantasy'?

    Obviously there is no way of really knowing, but how do you make the decision?

    I had a guy yesterday who wanted a fairly extreme forced/underage roleplay. He was polite and respectful and thanked me after the show, telling me how much he'd enjoyed it. I don't like to jump to negative conclusions about these guys. After all, there are plenty of women who fantasise about forced sex, besides a massive community that are into the adult baby/'littles' scene, which certainly has nothing to do with fancying children. With this in mind, I usually assume that most of these guys just enjoy seeing adult women displaying childlike qualities; however, I accept that a genuine nutcase might slip through the net.

    The one time I was really truly disturbed on cam was when a guy told me he'd raped women. I just felt, in this case, that the guy wasn't just a fantasist... the way he said it left me cold. For me, the issue isn't so much the extremity of what's discussed, but the specific manner in which its discussed. I have also noticed that some of the taboo guys are amongst the most considerate and respectful, whereas some of the rude obnoxious and pushy guys are comparatively 'vanilla' in what they request, but if anything could be more likely to be the dickheads in real life.

    I can completely understand why some girls avoid anything even remotely taboo, and of course you shouldn't ever do anything that makes you feel uneasy, but I don't think this is an automatic guarantee of avoiding the really horrible guys.

    Any thoughts?

    Hx
    I've had similar types of issues with roleplay in the past and asked an amazing camgirl for her advice. Hopefully it will be as helpful to you as it has been for me.

    Paraphrased it pretty much goes like this:

    1. You have no control over and are not responsible for the choices that other people make in their lives.

    2. Roleplay is serious psychological business. Actors and actresses have gotten fucked up psychologically agreeing to 'pretend' to be certain characters in movies.

    3. Always trust your intuition when it comes to roleplay. It is there to keep you psychologically safe.

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Did you read the terms of service with the cam company? No underage rollplaying

    Don't believe the bs of it is just fantasy & they would never do it in reality, cause they will. The statistics for rape & child molestation are off the charts.

    You can get fired for it. How do you know it isn't the FBI setting YOU up?

    The reason for the TOS is because the cam company can LOSE the billing company, costing ALL of us our jobs. I personally do NOT appreciate you breaking the TOS for a few dollars.
    Do you people NOT read 4. Live Chat Code of Conduct
    Performer agrees that s/he will not violate any law concerning obscenity. Performer shall not portray
    depictions of sex involving any person under the age of eighteen (1 years of age, rape, incest,
    bestiality, fisting, necrophilia, any form of minor activity, urination and/or defecation.


    What is sooooo hard to understand those rules? Do you think they do NOT apply to you?

    Now you decide you might not be comfortable with it, when you clearly broke the rules. Oh please....

    Sam

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    Featured Member Rina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Sam to be fair the OP did not say what site she was camming on, and I know at least one platform site where you can offer phone with cam and age play is allowed. So whether or not the OP was breaking the rules depends on where she was working.

    As far as the original question do the type of shows you are comfortable with and are within the rules of the site you work. Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable, it most likely won't be worth the money.
    "You want to fuck with eagles you have to learn to fly"- Heathers
    Quote Originally Posted by Graceface View Post
    ho ho ho ho merry banmas!!!!

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Quote Originally Posted by HornyHeidiBush View Post
    A question for girls who do any kind of taboo roleplay: how can you tell if it is 'just fantasy'?

    Obviously there is no way of really knowing, but how do you make the decision?

    I had a guy yesterday who wanted a fairly extreme forced/underage roleplay. He was polite and respectful and thanked me after the show, telling me how much he'd enjoyed it. I don't like to jump to negative conclusions about these guys. After all, there are plenty of women who fantasise about forced sex, besides a massive community that are into the adult baby/'littles' scene, which certainly has nothing to do with fancying children. With this in mind, I usually assume that most of these guys just enjoy seeing adult women displaying childlike qualities; however, I accept that a genuine nutcase might slip through the net.

    The one time I was really truly disturbed on cam was when a guy told me he'd raped women. I just felt, in this case, that the guy wasn't just a fantasist... the way he said it left me cold. For me, the issue isn't so much the extremity of what's discussed, but the specific manner in which its discussed. I have also noticed that some of the taboo guys are amongst the most considerate and respectful, whereas some of the rude obnoxious and pushy guys are comparatively 'vanilla' in what they request, but if anything could be more likely to be the dickheads in real life.

    I can completely understand why some girls avoid anything even remotely taboo, and of course you shouldn't ever do anything that makes you feel uneasy, but I don't think this is an automatic guarantee of avoiding the really horrible guys.

    Any thoughts?

    Hx
    You can't. My own feelings, IF he talks of anything illegal (or against the site rules) where I live, it's over!

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  16. #9
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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Like Susie wrote, to each their own. I don't condemn individuals who seek taboo roleplay or the cam chicas who provide it.

    As to the question in the OP regarding how to tell if someone is engaging in harmless fantasy or seeking to justify a despicable act: like Camigirl wrote I don't think you can. The reason I don't engage in age play isn't just because it makes me extremely uncomfortable, I also worry that age-play customers are using those sessions to normalize or justify acting upon those desires. Will any given individual who struggles with pedophilic desires act on them? No. Many indivduals who have a sexual attraction to children manage to go their whole lives without offending. That being said, some do act upon their desires, and the point is I can't tell who is indulging in harmless fantasy and who is using age play sessions as a way to normalize and justify acting upon those desires.

    Not all pedophiles who engage in fantasy play act upon their desires, but all pedophiles who do act upon their desires seek out content that normalizes it. For that reason, for me age play is unethical.

    Every individual has to make that choice for themselves and counterarguements do have merit, I'm just offering my perspective.


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    Veteran Member Camigirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Like Loveshooks said. Actually we have so many people being busted in the USA for child porn. I actually talked with an owner of a store who had an employee who was playing around wrestling with parents children! This man was well liked and known. One guy told me it did not feel right, seeing the mans behavior and the way he liked young boys far too much. My friends words, "his eyes lit up when a boy came in the store." Needless to say he was busted, found on a child porn site.
    They do act on it, he clearly was... and what I just told was enough to read. I do think that if we engage in age play with these people seemingly how harmless this is not an outlet for them, but seems to encourage them. More of acceptance to them it seems. I do not like this talk with these guys when I was on cam, and would shut their mouths up speaking to me that way. I think this talk should be banned from all adult sites. Talk is not always talk.

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Quote Originally Posted by Camigirl View Post
    I do think that if we engage in age play with these people seemingly how harmless this is not an outlet for them, but seems to encourage them.
    I respect and appreciate your opinion but as it has been pointed out in Camming Connection time and time again the scientific research on this subject just does not show your opinion to be a fact.

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Quote Originally Posted by loveshooks View Post
    Every individual has to make that choice for themselves and counterarguements do have merit....
    Agreed.

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    We have to keep in mind when talking about fantasy vs reality in regards to roleplaying that if we take one more step back on the subject and look at the job of a camgirl in general that the argument could (and has) been made that our job promotes unethical and immoral behavior towards women.

    The judgment of the 'goodness' or 'badness' of human action ultimately is up to you to personally define and whatever you personally define for yourself is the right answer. It is when you start to define that answer for others that the slippery slop comes in. No matter what anyone's position is on this matter it is always the right answer since it is something they can only define for themselves.

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    Don't believe the bs of it is just fantasy & they would never do it in reality, cause they will.
    Complete and utter misinformation.

    At the very least: Supply. Your. Sources.

    Though last time you supplied a source regarding this topic, even the damn police officer who penned the very book you quoted to back you up wasn't in agreement with you about this! In fact, he actually went as far as to view child porn for around 20 years - and went on to become a police officer dedicating his life to actively helping and PROTECT children against crimes and molestation! Your own source! That should be a hint enough that fantasy doesn't even mean someone wants to harm a child.

    Fantasy should never be looked upon as symbolic of what someone wants to do in reality. Never.
    There's a term for that: Thought Police.




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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Quote Originally Posted by Rina View Post
    Sam to be fair the OP did not say what site she was camming on, and I know at least one platform site where you can offer phone with cam and age play is allowed. So whether or not the OP was breaking the rules depends on where she was working.
    THANK YOU!

    Yes but anyway to answer the original question, between camming for sites that allow taboo play and also a couple of no taboo phone sex services, I've engaged in very controversial topics and I generally don't have a problem with it. I think for me, if it's obvious that the role play isn't actually happening I can go with it. If I have any uncertainty whether or not the person on the other end is engaging in this behavior is when I draw the line and refuse to engage with that person. So for example, I've chatted with guys who want me to pretend that I am 12 years old. This is clearly a fantasy because I am a 28 year old woman, I look like a woman who is clearly in her 20s, and members know that all models must be verified as 18 or older before they are allowed on the site. Essentially, both of us know that this is clearly just playing pretend even if we don't actually state it explicitly. However, if a member comes around and says that he is 12 years old, or that his 12 year old daughter is sitting in his lap watching me right now- that's where I personally draw the line because I really don't have any way of assessing whether it's true or if it's just more make believe.

    One of my favorite regs sometimes spontaneously calls me "Mommy" during our shows. I don't correct him, nor do I try to stop him (though I don't really encourage it, either, just because it personally isn't a turn on for me). I've done c2c with this guy several times and he is clearly at least two decades older than I am. Maybe he does has a thing for his mother, I don't know, but when we are in show the incest reference is obviously just pretend so I'm okay with it.

    Speaking of incest, I once had a guy take me private and tell me he slipped his aunt sleeping pills and was going to molest her in her sleep. I was disturbed and almost ended the show right then, but he turned his cam on and his "aunt" was very clearly a male masturbator. In that instance I continued with the show because I had visual proof that no one was actually being abused (unless you count the vinyl, bodiless toy). Had he not turned his cam on I probably would have assumed this was reality but since he did I was okay with continuing the fantasy. In fact I think he turned his cam on precisely because he saw the look on my face and wanted to assure me it was just a fantasy without actually breaking the fantasy by typing the words "it's just a fantasy."

    I've done bestiality role play calls and cam shows describing having explicit sex acts with a dog. I don't even own a dog, there's no dog in my house, etc. Clearly fantasy, especially if this is done over cam where the guy actually sees that it's just me alone and there are no animals actually involved, it's Just Talk. But, if a guy says he's currently fucking his dog and wants to watch/listen to me while he does so? That's where I draw the line because again, I have no way of knowing if it's true or not. I consider myself more liberal when it comes to engaging in taboo subjects, but I do err on the side of caution if there's any doubt on my mind whether or not an unconsenting person/animal may actually be involved.

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality


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    Featured Member Charlotteslut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Quote Originally Posted by loveshooks View Post
    I can't tell who is indulging in harmless fantasy and who is using age play sessions as a way to normalize and justify acting upon those desires.

    Not all pedophiles who engage in fantasy play act upon their desires, but all pedophiles who do act upon their desires seek out content that normalizes it. For that reason, for me age play is unethical.
    I really agree with this perspective. I understand where everyone is coming from however: we don't want to condemn fantasies because they are NOT actions. Many women have rape fantasies but they do NOT want to be actually raped, just to give an example. I also agreed with Sam's post about reading the rules of whatever site you are on, because underage play is against the rules on many sites.

    But to ignore the normalizing affect loveshooks brought up is to ignore a real factor.

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Quote Originally Posted by Incantatious View Post
    Complete and utter misinformation.

    At the very least: Supply. Your. Sources.

    Though last time you supplied a source regarding this topic, even the damn police officer who penned the very book you quoted to back you up wasn't in agreement with you about this! In fact, he actually went as far as to view child porn for around 20 years - and went on to become a police officer dedicating his life to actively helping and PROTECT children against crimes and molestation! Your own source! That should be a hint enough that fantasy doesn't even mean someone wants to harm a child.

    Fantasy should never be looked upon as symbolic of what someone wants to do in reality. Never.
    There's a term for that: Thought Police.

    Out of all the fantasies to pick out why that one? cause it turns them on. Thoughts often do turn into actions I WILL NEVER BE CONVINCED IT IS ALL HARMLESS.

    Normal men don't think about sex with KIDS which is RAPE. None of it is right, no matter how you defend it. I have thousands of men who take me private NONE of them suggest sex with kids. If one was to I would report him immediately. Even the thought of sex with a child is wrong, plain & simple. Yes, I do condemn those who fantasize about it & the girls who cater to it. How, can you NOT have a conscience.

    Where is your study proving underage role play prevents rape of children?

    Sam

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    Thoughts often do turn into actions I WILL NEVER BE CONVINCED IT IS ALL HARMLESS.
    Then conversing with you about this is pointless.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    Where is your study proving underage role play prevents rape of children?
    Being as YOU WILL NEVER BE CONVINCED, really what's the point in asking this question?

    If you want a decent source as to why roleplay / fantasy should not be seen as indicative of someone's desires in reality, that pdf book you linked me to last time we debated about this was pretty solid!




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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    Even the thought of sex with a child is wrong, plain & simple. Yes, I do condemn those who fantasize about it & the girls who cater to it. How, can you NOT have a conscience.
    I don't think anyone here is debating whether or not sex with a child is wrong. The topic of discourse here is on fantasy vs. reality, and the boundaries of role playing between two or more consenting adults.

    You have absolutely NO RIGHT to judge me, Sam. NONE. I don't look down on performers who choose not to engage in taboo role playing even if it is allowed on their site for being "prudes", not being open minded, etc. I would never be so damn presumptuous to assume that just because I feel a certain way everyone who doesn't agree with me is somehow wrong. Every performer has the right to decide what they are personally comfortable with and I would never bad mouth another person because their boundaries are different from mine. So who are you to look down on me? I don't care if you make more money than me, are more well known than me, have a bigger fan base than me, etc. You are NOT better than me just because you choose not to engage in certain things on cam that I do.

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    I didn't read through this entire thread, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating or missing something. While I think pedophile fantasies are creepy, I don't think that everyone who has them is a pedophile. A lot of kink types of fantasies are more about pushing boundaries, cultural taboos, and those dark thoughts that lurk inside us all.

    I know a guy with a major pedophile fetish for infants. He is a totally decent guy. He used to play naked with his baby sister when he was 7 and she was 2. When he got older and learned about sex, he felt really weird about those naked wrestling sessions. He started obsessing about it and the fantasy evolved over his life. They guy would never actually touch a kid. I still think its creepy, but I kinda get how those thought got in his head.

    There is so much violent, bang bus, rape fantasy porn out there. It's not even really considered kink anymore. Really rough hardcore is mainstream. But I don't think all the guys who watch that shit are rapists.

    I have no idea if fantasies can prevent various crimes. I hear that argument a lot, but I've never seen a study either. It seems like it would be a tough study to conduct... At the same time, I've never seen a study that states that perverse/kink related fantasies are correlated to crime, either. But, I'm clearly not an authority on this.

    During my career in the adult biz, I've engaged in many bizarre fantasies with customers. I don't usually judge based on the fantasy. I judge based on the dude. If I get a "this just fucked up" vibe, I won't play along. But in general, I accept that people are weirdos and try not to judge.... I guess this might be tougher on cam. Getting a read on people in person is a lot easier, I'd assume.

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    The topic of underage roleplay, pedophilia, and sex work will never be one that spawns positive conversation. It upsets everyone, and for good reason. No wonder its upsetting! We see every damn dirty thing a man could possibly think of, on a daily basis.

    I dont like pedophiles. I dont like men that fantasize about raping a little kid. I dont like how society sexualizes little girls, or how we engage in "corporate pedophilia" every single day by viewing children in innapropriate videos, pictures, merchandise.....turning childhood of little girls into a big fucked up joke.

    That's why I don't engage in any sort of roleplay involving children. Its not mentally health for ME, regardless of the potential money.

    Will any of us ever know if a pedophile we chatted with eventually went on to hurt a kid? Probably not. Have we ever talked to men that HAVE molested little kids.....you bet your ass we all have.

    There is no way of knowing if camming with pedos "enables" or encourages them.....because every person is different. Sometimes their bullshit illegal CP isnt enough....so they move onto other things to get their rocks off.

    Im not going to judge anyone that entertains these people, because it doesnt effect me. Each person needs to be able to decide if they can handle that type of interaction.

    I know I cant.

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    I WILL NEVER BE CONVINCED IT IS ALL HARMLESS.
    You don't have to be.

    But you do have to be respectful of those whose opinions differ from yours on this issue as you are forcing your personal opinion on others without any scientific fact to back it up.

    If you are not, then it is you that are the one who does not have a conscience.

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Quote Originally Posted by CanadianRuby View Post
    There is no way of knowing if camming with pedos "enables" or encourages them.....because every person is different. Sometimes their bullshit illegal CP isnt enough....so they move onto other things to get their rocks off.
    The argument has been made that camgirls (and porn in general) enables men to be more violent and aggressive so that they are more likely to rape a women.

    Slippery slope, my friend. Slippery slope.

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    Default Re: Fantasy vs reality

    Personally, I really get off on acting like a little Lolita. I love older men, especially if they are old enough to be my father. I call my husband "daddy" and never ever think of my dad while we're intimate. I love being called a little girl. Occasionally I even drink from a sippy cup and suck on a pacifier.

    Also, I enjoy when my husband forces me to do things sexually that I'm not comfortable doing. It's called "consensual non-consent" and it means that I consented to letting him do that. I can always tell him to stop and/or end the relationship. I live in America.

    Does that mean I really want to be a child, deep down inside? Fuck no. Does that mean I would love to be brutally raped? Nope. Likewise, a man who likes girls acting young does not necessarily want to fuck a minor, and one who enjoys a rape fantasy is not necessarily a rapist.

    Sure, we run into tons of creeps while working, but to say there is something wrong with people who have such fantasies can be offensive to the camgirl too. Just sayin.

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