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Thread: Sex on the first date?

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    Default Sex on the first date?

    So I would like to have your opinion on having sex with a guy on the first date...

    Unfortunately, this is something I am guilty of doing... I have such a high sex drive, I looove sex!!! but I never have a sex buddy. I prefer having sex often with the same guy and when I am not seeing or dating somebody I abstain. I am also very selective and I rarely meet new guys (except at work...), I am always at the library studying lol. So when I finally meet someone I am interested in, I hate to admit it but I often sleep with him after the first date or so...

    It's not something I have always done, but it happened in the past where I would wait months before sleeping with a guy and end up being so disappointed... I now like to know if we are compatible sexually before deciding wether I want to take the relationship further or not...

    The first man I loved and been with for quite a long period, I slept with him on the first date.. It did not stop him from wanting to be serious with me and he treated me extremely well... I am not with him anymore and I noticed that even though I am beautiful, smart and educated, men tend to lose respect for me or not take me seriously after they see that I sleep too early with them. I am currently seeing a guy I really like but I have the impression he doesn't really want more than sex from me and perhaps judge me based on the fact that I may have slept too quickly with him.

    I've talked with a couple of girls, some strongly disagree with what I do. While others say that if a man really wants to be with me, it doesn't matter if I sleep with him right away or in 4 months and if a guy doesn't want to commit, even if he has to wait for months it won't stop him from dumping me after he finally gets what he wants.

    What do you girls think? And if there is any guys reading this thread, I would like to know what you think as well. Do you have a low opinion of a woman who sleeps with you on the first or first couple of dates, does it influence your perception of her?

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    i do not have a low opinion of another women sleeping with a man on the first date if she just wants sex, thats her choice. but i don't think its the best way to start a relationship if you think you'd like to pursue one with the guy you're on a first date with. i believe in making a man wait as long as possible for sex, and it has nothing to do with morals reasons at all..it has to do with making them want you more, and anticipating it,etc. plus in this day and age, it may not be right but many people will write off a woman for sleeping with a man on the first date point blank, thinking she's needy, slutty, no "self respect" etc. i've ruined a lot of prospective relationships by sleeping with them too early,so yes it does make a difference. i would advise against it

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    Yeah... I do realize that I'm doing things backward lol... Having sex before deciding wether I want to pursue a relationship or not instead of the opposite but it's just so hard to wait when you've been wanting for months!!!! As I said I don't have sex buddies and when a relationship ends I don't keep in touch with my exes... It also takes me so long before meeting somebody I am interested in. I don't go out much due to the lack of time and when I do go out with friends I rarely meet anybody new loll

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    i see what you mean with the whole wanting to know if you are sexually compatible before entering into a relationship, it gets confusing sometimes..so glad im outta the dating games its such confusing shit!

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    I generally hold out for awhile because I'm really nerotic about having a fairly detailed safe sex conversation and that's awkward to do right when you meet someone. I don't worry as much about trying to appear "wholesome" or respectable or whatever. In some situations, I might. Like if I really liked the guy and knew he was pretty conservative. But in general, I don't feel like I need to act like I don't want to have sex when I want to have sex, just b/c I'm the girl. Maybe that's why I'm single!! But, I do want to get to know the guy a little before we hit the sheets. I have a tendency to be attracted to man-whores. I gotta make sure the guy isn't going to be banging everyone in town, while he's doing me. It's not a jealousy thing. It's an "I seriously don't want herpes" thing.

    Wow. I'm not very romantic.

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    Yeah I agree dating is complicated sometimes. I would much prefer to have a boyfriend but I've not been having too much luck lately. I have more customers falling deeply in love with me than men in my personal life sigh...

    LOL! Jasmine.Doll you are funny haha. I guess many men assume I'm a slut and sleep around a lot when I sleep too early with them and they see how well I can please them...lol while it's not the case. I might rush a bit into discovering their body but I'm very faithful.... Sigh

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    Try to find out what the guy has been like dating other girls, if possible. If he's one of the 'Player' types, it will probably be a bad move.

    I hate to advise holding out for a couple reasons. Mostly I just hate the bullshit games that seem to go with dating and the decision as to when to take the plunge. The whole 'golden vagina' syndrome is a bad idea for both sexes, I think. Like it's some kind of prize the women have to hold on to, and the guys have to chase after endlessly. What a crock. But still, usually it is better to wait just a little while, to make sure he's not just going for another notch or won't turn out to be a douchebag in other ways..
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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Yeah... I do realize that I'm doing things backward lol... Having sex before deciding wether I want to pursue a relationship or not instead of the opposite but it's just so hard to wait when you've been wanting for months!!!! As I said I don't have sex buddies and when a relationship ends I don't keep in touch with my exes... It also takes me so long before meeting somebody I am interested in. I don't go out much due to the lack of time and when I do go out with friends I rarely meet anybody new loll
    I completely understand what you mean!! No clue how to resolve the issue but at least you know you're not alone.

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    Every time I sleep with a girl on the first date, I am afraid that I am just going to be another condom on the wall.

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    Try to find out what the guy has been like dating other girls, if possible. If he's one of the 'Player' types, it will probably be a bad move.

    I hate to advise holding out for a couple reasons. Mostly I just hate the bullshit games that seem to go with dating and the decision as to when to take the plunge. The whole 'golden vagina' syndrome is a bad idea for both sexes, I think. Like it's some kind of prize the women have to hold on to, and the guys have to chase after endlessly. What a crock. But still, usually it is better to wait just a little while, to make sure he's not just going for another notch or won't turn out to be a douchebag in other ways..
    Haha the golden vagina syndrome. I remember being told that I should get a couple of sex buddies and in the future, make the guy I am seeing wait... I just find it stupid to sleep with other men on the side to look more "respectable" and let the guy chase me while the one that I want IS the guy I am seeing??

    Unfortunately the last couple of guys I've met, it would be impossible to know how they usually are because we do not have friends in common :/ When I meet guys through other people I really do try to hold out though loll
    Last edited by xStacey; 10-13-2013 at 08:02 AM.

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    ^haha safado! it also gets boring for me if i move too fast as well so maybe you have a point..and your vagina IS fucking gold, as is every other part of you..
    Last edited by simone87; 10-13-2013 at 07:54 AM.

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    If you are having sex because you like it or you are super horny then what does it matter if it leads to a relationship or not? If a guy likes you he will be happy you had sex with him, if he was a player it won't make a difference, if he was the kind of judgemental asshole that looks down on women who enjoy sex why would you care if he moves on. As long as you are having sex because YOU want to there is no way to lose.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    If you are having sex because you like it or you are super horny then what does it matter if it leads to a relationship or not? If a guy likes you he will be happy you had sex with him, if he was a player it won't make a difference, if he was the kind of judgemental asshole that looks down on women who enjoy sex why would you care if he moves on. As long as you are having sex because YOU want to there is no way to lose.
    This a 1000 times.

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    I really love sex but I would also like to have a boyfriend... A long-term stable relationship more precisely... I'm really having trouble with that and i'm wondering if my horniness has anything to do with my difficulties lol.

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    I don't wait forever but not on the first date.
    xoxo

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    The condom room probably stinks to high heaven.

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    Does it count as sex on the first date if it's not really a date? Haha I am just bitter that I've never been asked out on a real date before, it's more like (via text) "what are you up to? want to go for drinks? (and then inevitably come over so we can do it and I never have to feign interest in you as a person again?)"

    Oh well.

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    So I would like to have your opinion on having sex with a guy on the first date...

    Unfortunately, this is something I am guilty of doing... I have such a high sex drive, I looove sex!!! but I never have a sex buddy. I prefer having sex often with the same guy and when I am not seeing or dating somebody I abstain. I am also very selective and I rarely meet new guys (except at work...), I am always at the library studying lol. So when I finally meet someone I am interested in, I hate to admit it but I often sleep with him after the first date or so...

    It's not something I have always done, but it happened in the past where I would wait months before sleeping with a guy and end up being so disappointed... I now like to know if we are compatible sexually before deciding wether I want to take the relationship further or not...

    The first man I loved and been with for quite a long period, I slept with him on the first date.. It did not stop him from wanting to be serious with me and he treated me extremely well... I am not with him anymore and I noticed that even though I am beautiful, smart and educated, men tend to lose respect for me or not take me seriously after they see that I sleep too early with them. I am currently seeing a guy I really like but I have the impression he doesn't really want more than sex from me and perhaps judge me based on the fact that I may have slept too quickly with him.

    I've talked with a couple of girls, some strongly disagree with what I do. While others say that if a man really wants to be with me, it doesn't matter if I sleep with him right away or in 4 months and if a guy doesn't want to commit, even if he has to wait for months it won't stop him from dumping me after he finally gets what he wants.

    What do you girls think? And if there is any guys reading this thread, I would like to know what you think as well. Do you have a low opinion of a woman who sleeps with you on the first or first couple of dates, does it influence your perception of her?

    Usually, I wait for a few months because I would like to get to know him better. However, last year I broke character and started a sex-only relationship with two men at one time. We all agree to this arrangement; we would hang out together, go out to dinner, and go on trips. But mainly, it was a pure sexual relationship between us and I did not feel they looked down on me. I never looked down on women or men having sex on the first date. But I feel women should live their sexuality on their terms I believe in both celibacy and having lover if you want sex without a relationship. But I am sexual adventurer
    Last edited by DonaDiabla; 10-15-2013 at 02:47 PM. Reason: misspelling of celibacy

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    I had a sexual relationship similar to the one you described and it was fun while it lasted! It's really nice, especially when you appreciate the other person aswell. I guess the reason why I don't have sex buddies is because I hate when guys think that ''sex buddy'' equals ''I only see you at my place or at yours but never in public, outside the bedroom'' lol. It is something I do not enjoy at all!
    Last edited by xStacey; 10-15-2013 at 05:08 AM.

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    one of the most treasured friendships in my life is a woman who I had sex with within 3 hours of first laying eyes on her.

    If a guy by his late 20's cannot figure out the difference between uninhibited and indiscriminate, he was just a waste of your time anyway

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    Personally, I'm pretty straightforward when I want to hook up with someone new. I generally will know immediately if I want to hook up with someone and will be pretty direct about letting them know I'm interested and getting their number. I'm like you OP, I prefer to be monogam-ish and have lots of sex with the same guy. However, I personally tend not to want to go past third base the first time I hang out/hook up with someone new. (As in, hands only for both partners, no oral or full on sex.) For me it's not so much because I feel like I should wait, in fact I'm usually pretty eager to get physical. But-I usually need to spend just a little more time around a guy before I feel comfortable getting totally nekkid and getting each other off. So like the second date.

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    You're damned if you and damned if you don't. But let's not forget that f the guy thinks the worse of you for sleeping with you on your first date, he's just as guilty as you can be.

    Also, do you really care what others think of you...I think it's a heck of a lot more important what you think of yourself. But in case you're wondering if he's a player, just hold off one or two dates. If he's a player, he'll move on to an easier mark quick enough but if he's genuinely interested in you, he'll stick around.

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    I've only had sex on one first date & I ended up marring her & was with her for 16 years, now divorced. I've done plenty of hookups but that I don't consider that a date. I would never judge a woman because of having sex on the first date & I do put importance on being sexually compatible.

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    when i was alot younger yes i was "THAT GIRL" for sure . I was very open and loved hooking up .... now as boreing as it sounds 2 people in my life my gf and bf.... a frist time hook up and sex i think more abought catching something rather than getting cought ... but if your into sex on the frist date ... be safe....

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    Default Re: Sex on the first date?

    I've had sex on the first date and honestly will never do this again. While some people don't judge on this many others do and the reality is many men do judge on it. Yes it is a double standard and wrong for people to feel like this but many do. Luckily most people aren't like that but on a first date you never know the other person's motive. They might really like you as a potential romance but might also as a booty call and waiting a bit screens out those just looking for sex (if you are relationship minded). However if you are just looking for sex then it doesn't matter.

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