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Thread: How has your personality changed?

  1. #1
    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default How has your personality changed?

    I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It's interesting how much different I have become in 5 years. I know this probably varies depending on WHAT 5 years of your life you refer to, but I bet all you ladies have changed a lot at some point, for better or worse

    So, personally: I used to be a people pleaser and took a lot of crap from a lot of people. I had a very manipulative best friend (essentially a sociopath actually) who tried to keep me beneath her in "authority" over our gang of friends. I was pretty timid about standing up for myself or causing conflict; I would apologize to people when I hadn't done the wrongdoing, and was too afraid to properly quit my first job, so I just stopped showing up. I was also overly romantic and would do almost anything for the guys I fell for, even when they treated me like crap. I also would fall for one for a long time, at least a year most of the time.

    Now, I don't give a hoot what anyone says or thinks about me. It's like my temper just snapped at some point. I started standing up for myself when I'd get blamed for things. I've quit a couple jobs that were treating me like shit, and done it via office yelling matches and blunt letters explaining why. I'm overly cynical of people in general, but that's probably from being a stripper and being in a college program that basically pounds into us that humans are destroying everything. In relationships, I pretty much run the show. It's "me first" most of the time now, to the point of being considered selfish... because I've learned that I deserve better than how my exes have treated me.

    On a positive note, I've accepted that there are always people better than you at things, and I'm trying to keep an open mind to constructive criticism. I'm less defensive, because I'm not concerned about whether people will like me or not, and hence don't come off as a bitch immediately now. I'm also working on not judging people, and realizing that sometimes it's my perception that's making them seem bitchy or rude... the quote about "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting an invisible battle" is true and I try to remember that. I've also developed a daredevil streak

    Your turn!
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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  3. #2
    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: How has your personality changed?

    oh my god, 5 years ago i was also VERY naive, sweet, very easy to manipulate, eager to please, and i had a tiny baby with one of the worst pieces of shit that ever walked the earth. 5 years ago this week i found out he had cheated on me, yet i took him right back and worked while he sat at home and did nothing. i developed "trich" ( very weird, rare mental disorder that makes you pull out your hair when under stress), and i had to wear a wig because i was literally bald from pulling my hair out by the root. i was underweight, always broke, unhappy, crying every day, and working as an LNA cleaning up people's shit for 10 bucks an hour.
    i hate that i was like that at 20, i would give anything to go back and do it again knowing what i know now, what a waste now im depressed about it lol.
    these days i feel i've gotten pretty bitter. if i love a guy, i won't show it..ill keep my distance and i won't gush or let them know that i'm obsessed. better that way. i don't forgive, i'm all about my money, i put myself and my kid first.

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    Veteran Member SkyeSabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: How has your personality changed?

    I feel that stripping has both helped me with my social anxiety and also made me aware of things outside my realm of thinking. I had horrible self-esteem and body image issues before I started dancing and since then I've learned to care for my body, exercise, eat healthily, apply makeup, sharpen my intellect.
    I couldn't even call for a pizza less than three years ago because I felt so crippled by my anxiety. Now I feel in control of my life and employment, less threatened I guess?
    I apologize less now (only when I truly mean it) and I have an easier time saying no. I feel no guilt using that word now. I feel much less pressured to give in to other people's demands, much more independent and able to provide for myself and my child. And for once in my life I found something I'm talented at (pole dancing) so I actually feel great about myself. I have a skill set that will follow me once I decide to exit the industry and sales knowledge that can be applied to life in general.
    The only con I can see is now I tend to doubt people's intentions much more. I don't trust people as easily. This was already in place but now I understand that it's better to trust my instincts and give away less information about myself. Keep the air of mystery. Beforehand i was an open book.

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    Default Re: How has your personality changed?

    Haha, yesterday was an interesting five-year anniversary for me. Suffice to say that I was a depressed narcissistic little twat, constantly in destructive relationships and never making good decisions for myself. Now, I am still a little depressive, but I get by. I am in a healthy two-year relationship with someone I love dearly and who treats me well. I no longer feel responsible for everyone's happiness. I am more private, for the better. I am a much, much better writer, which makes me proud. I do not have as many "friends," but I realized those people were not ever my friends; they were more interested in getting high. I am way better at makeup. Five years ago, I was with someone who berated me for wearing makeup and anything other than a t-shirt and jeans. But bitch, I've got awesome fake boobs and walk around in my underwear professionally now. As I told my boyfriend, my life plan used to be to strip when I needed to, live in a barren apartment, and off myself some time before 30 after I finished writing a high fantasy series and collection of poetry, assuming my cat had died of old age by then. I am very wary of the word "happy," but I would say it's the closest term to describe what I have largely become, and I intend to live for at least as long as I can stay hot, which I imagine will be past 30.

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    Default Re: How has your personality changed?

    I am a lot like Selina. I had a sociopath for a friend who would do every bad thing you can possibly think of and I tolerated her abuse because I didn't want to offend her. After all she had a rough childhood full of abuse so I gave her slack. That slack includes not pressing charges after a friend of her boyfriend attacked me and forgiving her for taking me to court after I hit her boyfriend after he hit me. Finally 5 years ago I got the courage to tell her off after she swore at me at her son's graduation. I wish I had ditched her 25 years ago.

    Guy wise I was also like Selina and I chased after them and catered to them even when they treated me horribly. I took back boyfriends who cheated and was okay when they didn't buy me presents for holidays. I accepted their verbal abuse as trying to help me when it wasn't that at all. Now I would rather be alone then with them.

    I have become very cynical of the government. I used to believe in the system helping everyone until I realized it was a lie. I also found all politicians are crooks and will do anything to win.

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    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: How has your personality changed?

    I got horny at around 10, that's about the only thing that's changed in the last 25 years.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."

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    Default Re: How has your personality changed?

    Hum... 5 years ago I was underage... So I guess ''a lot'' has changed!

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: How has your personality changed?

    I've become more guarded, at least I try..I've opened up one too many times, & it's bit me in the azz


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Veteran Member ~*SwanPrincess*~'s Avatar
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    Default Re: How has your personality changed?

    Five years ago I was ridiculously naive (still am a little bit), very happy, sweet, and thought I was the luckiest girl in the world and that I totally had my life together. I had already been married a few years by then, and since we were young AND financially stable, I sometimes felt "above" other people my age. (Not proud of that)

    Things are far different now. I feel bitter and hardened. Thats more from recent events in my personal life, not from dancing.
    I've also turned into a bit of a hermit when Im not at work or at my sons different activities. I absolute hate dealing with women in the outside world. I feel like they're always staring, always judging and giving disapproving looks. People close to me say thats just in my head, but I know its not. Its the truth. I have also gotten guarded, untrusting, and maybe a little self entitled.

    Im still friendly and sweet though, at heart. Ive just had my eyes opened up to the world I think.

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  17. #10
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: How has your personality changed?

    Five years ago I 'suspected' that a lot of things were actually true. Now I 'know' that a lot of things are actually true !!!

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: How has your personality changed?

    Hmm from 30 to 35...I'm more bitter now. Fortunately I temper that bitterness with cynicism so as not to be 100% bitter and more appetizing to the palate.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Dizzy Re: How has your personality changed?

    Five years ago I still thought I could make a difference in the world and was so foolishly good hearted that most people could take advantage of me with their bleeding hearts stories. Then as I came closer to my 40's Birthday I had this big wake up in me and pretty much became all business. I realized that yes you can work well with others and that there is enough for everyone, but most people will walk all over you in a NY minute and use you if you give them half a chance. Sadly physically I became a full blown BBW (heck fat if you like) and that screwed with my self-image a lot too. I don't dance, haven't since I was in my early 20's but I am in the Adult Industry filming my own clips and selling them, doing Pro-Domination sessions, taking phone fetish calls and writing. It has been quiet the journey in the last 5 years. I think the other thing that changed the most is realizing just how much the online world really has changed the industry and that now marketing has gotten a lot harder.

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