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Thread: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

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    Default Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Hi,I currently live in Las Vegas with my girlfriend. We are both twenty years old. She has multiple connections to strip clubs through friends ,and she has the oppurtunity to get an audition. We are in a very difficult financial state, being young and broke, and it's difficult for me to tell her "no" to something that would essentially erase any financial problems, probably for both of us. But, even though her argument is "Im okay with it, but I won't do it if you don't want me to" It still upsets me that she thinks it is okay to allow other people to see her naked. So ladies, my main question is honestly, if you were in my position would you let your girlfriend hold the same job you do? Thank you

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    yup. its a job. she isn't getting naked for other guys for enjoyment or titillation, its for money.

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    So many evil responses went through my head reading this. However, i will be kind. If you are questioning her morals for wanting to get a well-paying job to help out the both of you because it involves, OMG the nude body!!!!! then just break up. The moral bullshit and stupid resentment on your part will just build up because she dared to consider it anyway. Maybe you can find a nice repressed girlfriend who only dresses like a slut on Halloween and live happily ever after, you always telling your friends about the hot girl who wanted to be a stripper that you had to break up with.

    She will be better off.

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Almost every single time I have worked with a new dancer with a boyfriend, the boyfriend gets dumped within a few months, a year tops. With very rare exceptions.

    If she is susceptible to addiction/substance abuse problems, it's probably a bad idea or at least very risky.

    This is not an industry for the weak-willed. It is most emphatically NOT a 'job just like any other job'. I know of no other job where people try to get you drunk & give you drugs all night, you get naked 5-6 times a night while putting on a dance performance, and you then have to go into a back room and rub on their genitals 15-20 times. Though in Vegas the grinding lapdance might not be the norm.

    Hence it should come as no surprise to you OP, that being the SO of someone employed in a stripclub is not for the weak-willed either.

    I'm not saying you are doomed. But if you are worried about her getting naked in front of strangers and cannot come to grips with this in your head, it will never last.

    But don't beat yourself up too much about it--95% of men and women cannot possibly deal with their SOs getting naked in front of other people or having girls grab the guy's ass all night, etc. Of the guys I've seen who CAN handle it, usually it's for all the wrong reasons.
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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    If it were me, I'd have no problem with my SO stripping. I've been in the industry for a long time and I know that it can be "just a job." It is for me. I have seen people succumb to substance abuse, like the above poster mentioned. But, I've also seen a lot of people avoid that particular trapping of nightlife work. No one is going to shove drugs down your throat.

    That being said, I can tell from your post that you are not a guy who is built for dating a dancer. You are getting jealous, just by thinking about her showing off her goods to other men. Her dancing is going to be bad for your relationship.

    I also don't see why it's her job to fix the financial problems you are both facing. Can't you work? Being dependent on her to make money at a job that you don't like her working is really going to add stress to your relationship. In the end, dancing is her decision. You can voice your opinion, but you need to let her make her own decision. Do NOT pressure her to strip so she can support you. That's not cool, at all.

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    ^^^Agreed.

    By far most women outside the industry have serious problems being the SO of male staff, even though the guys aren't getting naked or rubbing on womens' genitals. The business tends to scare the shit out of males and females alike. I've also seen male and female staff who actually couldn't deal with having SOs in the business either, but it's generally a little easier.

    I have also seen some serious promiscuity in male & female staff, not even counting the dancers who are also prostitutes. It might be 'just a job' for a lot of people in the business, but a lot of other people in the business do a whole lot of playing around from what I've seen. Again, not generally good for people with weak wills.

    I should clarify, of course drinking and drug use are not required in this business. But anyone susceptible to substance abuse shouldn't generally work in any kind of bar, and especially not in these clubs, where they are encouraged to accept drinks from guys trying to seduce them (however unlikely that result might be). Substance abuse has been rampant in by far most of the clubs I have worked.
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    Duh Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Quote Originally Posted by Jasmine.Doll View Post
    If it were me, I'd have no problem with my SO stripping. I've been in the industry for a long time and I know that it can be "just a job." It is for me. I have seen people succumb to substance abuse, like the above poster mentioned. But, I've also seen a lot of people avoid that particular trapping of nightlife work. No one is going to shove drugs down your throat.

    That being said, I can tell from your post that you are not a guy who is built for dating a dancer. You are getting jealous, just by thinking about her showing off her goods to other men. Her dancing is going to be bad for your relationship.

    I also don't see why it's her job to fix the financial problems you are both facing. Can't you work? Being dependent on her to make money at a job that you don't like her working is really going to add stress to your relationship. In the end, dancing is her decision. You can voice your opinion, but you need to let her make her own decision. Do NOT pressure her to strip so she can support you. That's not cool, at all.
    Yup, it sounds like a recipe for disaster to me..she's better off doing it on her own


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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Substance abuse and promiscuity can be rampant in strip club. But, I've worked in a lot of regular clubs and bars, too. I think substance abuse and promiscuity is just rampant in "nightlife" work, in general. As someone who has spent WAY too much time in Vegas (where OP is at), I can say this is def true at "vanilla" Vegas clubs. I also think younger dancers are more susceptible to falling into the party life style that stripping can accommodate. I always see a big difference between girls who start stripping at 19 vs. girls who start at 23. The girls who start when they are a little older seem to have more established priorities and are less likely to get sucked into the "excitement" of the party lifestyle. Like Djoser said, sex industry and nightlife business in general is better suited for people with a strong sense of self--not those who are weak willed.

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Yeah it is amazing what a difference 3-4 years can make in how a newbie adjusts to the lifestyle/work conditions. I used to try to talk women I met into dancing, but not anymore after all the shit I've seen happen to so many of them, especially the ones who are 18 or 19.

    The younger guys in the business also tend to have more issues with self-control when it comes to sex, drugs, drinking at work or with co-workers after closing.
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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Are you going to try to reexamine your feelings on this matter? Because you are currently miffed about the mere notion of her getting naked for money, and that does not bode well. The nudity, IMO, is the most trivial aspect of stripping. I forget I'm naked (or mostly so) at work. Taking my top off to pay the electric does not hurt my relationship, which I've been in for just over two years--almost the entirety of my stripping career. But stripping can change a person in many ways. Some are for the better; others are not. Without knowing your girlfriend, it is pretty impossible to predict how it might change her or whether she'd do well. It's up to you two to be realists. Can she keep a level head? Is she more likely to play into the stereotype, then crash and burn? And on your end, is she already "forever tarnished" just for considering this? Twenty is young. Las Vegas is... well, Las Vegas. There's aren't ideal circumstances, so it comes down to whether she's willing to stay grounded and whether you're willing to work on yourself emotionally.

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Quote Originally Posted by kingkingking View Post
    It still upsets me that she thinks it is okay to allow other people to see her naked
    ^If she thinks it's ok, than it is ok. It's her body and ultimately her choice to "allow other people to see her naked" if she decides to go through with the audition. If I were in your position, I wouldn't prevent my partner from getting a job that could help you to become more finically stable and comfortable. Because like Simone87 said, "it's a job...it's for the money".

    Your attitude towards the situation is going to cause a lot of conflict and heart ache. So, either be supportive and realise that, again, it's just a job (she would be doing this for the two of you, for your future together. She loves you and is coming home to you). If you can't be supportive, at least be up front about how you feel so that your insecurities don't raise their ugly heads later on down the track (when she's dancing, enjoying it, making money, being independent and won't quit for you).
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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    OK, so it a dancer support site, so he certainly should know what to expect.

    But come on ladies, the kid is 20, cut him a little slack.

    He does not have the experience, good and bad, that you all have, to know what to expect.

    Read your own postings and imagine that a man might not want the woman he loves to have to go through the kind of assaults that happen in this kind of work. It does not necessarily make him evil and controlling.

    No he does not have the ability to 'let' her do anything [poor wording and bad thought process kid, work on it]

    Truth is, if she wants to dance, she will.

    Odds are she won't be your girlfriend in 5 years, not because she dances, but because most 20 year old couples do not become 25 year old couples.

    My only advice: Get a job, keep a job, work your ass off. The day she comes home after having my 50 year old hands on her ass and hears you ask for money for beer and cigarettes is the last day she has any use for you.

    To the ladies, hey, he asked for your advice, perhaps not as politically correct as he could have. He is young and can still learn. Why not tell him how to be a successful dancers boyfriend?
    Last edited by oldster; 11-03-2013 at 08:21 AM.

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    ^^B/c he's not asking for advice on being a supportive boyfriend to a dancer. He's asking about how to cope with sending his girlfriend out to strip to solve their MUTUAL financial problems, even though he's uncomfortable with the idea of her getting naked for tips. He wanted to know what we think of his situation and it sounds like a terrible situation... Not b/c it's impossible to be a supportive boyfriend to a dancer, but b/c he wants to be financially dependent on her while she works a job that makes him uncomfortable. Recipe for disaster.

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Surprised that oldster was the first to bring it up: "let." For some reason men always have it in their heads that they "let" their girlfriends do things. Like I've said this so many times it's ridiculous: she's not your possession and you're not "letting" her do anything.

    Also I think people need to grow up out of the damn 19th century and realize that bodies are bodies and that's about it. The connotation of nudity needs to be ditched. If you can look at it as work just with no clothes on instead of convincing yourself of the overt sexuality and unrealistic conservative views on nudity, this wouldn't be an issue. "That she thinks it's okay to allow other people to see her naked" wtf? You mean, because YOU'RE in the picture she no longer can be seen naked by anyone but you. Following the logic of that no one would ever get laid cos it's not okay to be seen naked. (I know what you mean, I'm just being an ass, but really, open your mind and catch up with the times a bit.)

    You shouldn't tie nudity and love together so much. Unless you are the possessive and immature egocentric man like every other 20 year old man is, you should know the difference between sexuality and love between the two of you, and sexuality and love between others. They don't have to go hand in hand, and most often the case is they don't. I don't think you have anything to be upset about, but if you can't get over it then you two are probably not meant to be together.

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Me as someone who frequents strip clubs way too much and has dated his share of dancers and knowing what I know, I would tell her HELL NO! I would tell her I will resort to selling drugs before I let you start stripping. Once she starts stripping it's gonna be hard to get her to stop. Stripping can make great money on certain nights, but there are also a lot of nights where the money sucks. When she makes great money try to save some of that money, because it's not a guarantee she'll make as much the next night.

    Let me give you some insight on the stripping world: You have to know that her breasts will be in a lot of customers faces, and some of the customers will try to suck her breasts. Customers will try to kiss her. There will be customers that try to finger her pussy, try to go down on her, whip it out etc. I can't tell you how many strippers I've had crying home to me about what a customer tried to do or succeeded in doing. Don't even get me started on VIP, I could write a whole book on that. There will be older guys that offer her a lot of money to have sex outside the club. Drugs will be a significant factor. She will likely give her regulars her phone number, so if you look at her phone you might be seeing some interesting texts from guys.

    Having said all this there are some strippers (it's pretty rare, like winning the lottery) that don't give in to any of the temptations or stuff happening around them, those are the kind of girls that give air dances. If that's her, then you have a keeper.

    I don't mind dating strippers because I know what I'm getting myself into, and I'm just trying to have fun at my young age. But as far as dating a girl that turns into a stripper, I could never do that.

    It looks like stripping might the best (and only) thing for her right now if money is that bad. Hopefully both of you can find a job doing something.

    Good Luck!

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Quote Originally Posted by musik22 View Post
    Having said all this there are some strippers (it's pretty rare, like winning the lottery) that don't give in to any of the temptations or stuff happening around them, those are the kind of girls that give air dances. If that's her, then you have a keeper.
    what does air dancing have to do with anything? i'm a bit confused by this. so if you don't give air-dances you are a dirty slut who gives into the "temptation" of grinding all over the irresistible men there? because i don't give air-dances, unless i'm in an air-dancing club, and i consider myself to be quite a conservative and faithful stripper where my bf is concerned


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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    what does air dancing have to do with anything? i'm a bit confused by this. so if you don't give air-dances you are a dirty slut who gives into the "temptation" of grinding all over the irresistible men there? because i don't give air-dances, unless i'm in an air-dancing club, and i consider myself to be quite a conservative and faithful stripper where my bf is concerned
    Thought that was kind of stupid, too.

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Quote Originally Posted by Jasmine.Doll View Post
    ^^B/c he's not asking for advice on being a supportive boyfriend to a dancer. He's asking about how to cope with sending his girlfriend out to strip to solve their MUTUAL financial problems, even though he's uncomfortable with the idea of her getting naked for tips. He wanted to know what we think of his situation and it sounds like a terrible situation... Not b/c it's impossible to be a supportive boyfriend to a dancer, but b/c he wants to be financially dependent on her while she works a job that makes him uncomfortable. Recipe for disaster.
    I don't think we are disagreeing here, he does not mention not having a job for instance.

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    I think that you should also become a stripper, that way you can make your own money and contribute to the household income. Why must she be the only one stripping to pay the bills?
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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Quote Originally Posted by oldster View Post
    I find that often it is most useful to answer not the question that is asked, but the one that needs answering.
    We read posts, not people's minds. More often than not the "innocent, naive" types that show up here asking for "advice" turn out to be angry and bitter when they don't hear what they expected. The ladies here, and most of the long time male posters for that matter, are understandably cynical about giving advice...
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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    I never really understand the argument of "it's such a bad environment, you wouldn't want your girlfriend putting up with all that shit every night!" I mean, I agree with the basic sentiment - it is a very emotionally and mentally challenging job. I personally go into a very locked-down, guarded, defensive mode the second I enter a strip club now (which is why I can't enjoy myself as a customer anymore), and it takes awhile out of work to compartmentalize and "come down" from that. But ultimately, I still find stripping and anything else sex industry related to be less stressful than any other job I had.

    Maybe that's just me. Maybe I've had really shitty vanilla jobs. But I was so. damn. miserable at every vanilla job I've had, and couldn't disengage from them when I got off work. I dealt with sexual harassment in one form or another from customers in every other job. Maybe not to the point of being grabbed, but still. Drugs and even alcohol have also been prevalent in some of my vanilla jobs - like to the point of my managers getting wasted off-camera or leaving me with a long line of customers to deal with because they were out fucking dealing out the back door. And I was getting paid minimum wage for this shit. But did anyone, including my boyfriend at the time, ever tell me to quit that job with the shitty environment and bad managers and coworkers, and drugs and alcohol, and rude as fuck customers that was making me miserable? Nope. But when I mentioned I might go back to a club and my bf heard it "wasn't the best place," he was like "I don't want you working there." Just... really?

    Idk, I'd rather deal with and ignore all the bad shit in my own little compartmentalized way in this industry while making a ton of money on my schedule, than to deal with equal bullshit in the vanilla world where all this nonsense is apparently "normal" and I should "just be happy I have a job." Not sure why all this bad stuff is looked over elsewhere, but in the sex industry it becomes all "oh no! Don't let someone go through that!" Hmmm....
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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    The air dancing thing was put in wrong context. What I meant to say is if you're a boyfriend of a dancer, the best you can hope for is she gives air dances.

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    We read posts, not people's minds. More often than not the "innocent, naive" types that show up here asking for "advice" turn out to be angry and bitter when they don't hear what they expected. The ladies here, and most of the long time male posters for that matter, are understandably cynical about giving advice...
    Much as it is on the internet.

    I was just growling at someone yesterday for refusing to answer questions to help fix a technical issue. It has always been thus, internet, mailing lists, usenet.

    Maybe he is/will be angry and bitter, does not mean advice from those best situated to give it is wasted

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Re: your first post oldster, I don't think anyone was being so mean. Actually, this was one of the tamest threads in CC, especially since it's regarding what a boyfriend should "okay." I don't think most of the ladies on here take kindly to being treated like we need a man's permission to make a living, but most of us understand relationships are give and take and stripping is, for many, a deal-breaker. However, there's a huge red flag in OP's post. His girlfriend hasn't even stripped, but he's already upset that she'd consider it. That suggests they have different ideas on the boundaries of their relationship, and it needs to be addressed regardless of whether his girlfriend becomes a stripper. IMO, OP's girlfriend should be on here gauging whether she is ready for stripping in place of OP receiving advice on a girl we know nothing about and cautionary tales from someone who "doesn't mind" dating strippers for the funsies of it.

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    Default Re: Girlfriend wants to be a stripper

    Quote Originally Posted by musik22 View Post
    Me as someone who frequents strip clubs way too much and has dated his share of dancers and knowing what I know, I would tell her HELL NO! I would tell her I will resort to selling drugs before I let you start stripping. Once she starts stripping it's gonna be hard to get her to stop. Stripping can make great money on certain nights, but there are also a lot of nights where the money sucks. When she makes great money try to save some of that money, because it's not a guarantee she'll make as much the next night.

    Let me give you some insight on the stripping world: You have to know that her breasts will be in a lot of customers faces, and some of the customers will try to suck her breasts. Customers will try to kiss her. There will be customers that try to finger her pussy, try to go down on her, whip it out etc. I can't tell you how many strippers I've had crying home to me about what a customer tried to do or succeeded in doing. Don't even get me started on VIP, I could write a whole book on that. There will be older guys that offer her a lot of money to have sex outside the club. Drugs will be a significant factor. She will likely give her regulars her phone number, so if you look at her phone you might be seeing some interesting texts from guys.

    Having said all this there are some strippers (it's pretty rare, like winning the lottery) that don't give in to any of the temptations or stuff happening around them, those are the kind of girls that give air dances. If that's her, then you have a keeper.

    I don't mind dating strippers because I know what I'm getting myself into, and I'm just trying to have fun at my young age. But as far as dating a girl that turns into a stripper, I could never do that.

    It looks like stripping might the best (and only) thing for her right now if money is that bad. Hopefully both of you can find a job doing something.

    Good Luck!

    So, dating strippers is cool. It's just not cool to date girls that turn into strippers? I don't really see the distinction. (None of us were born strippers.) And it sounds like you feel like dating a stripper is a nightmare with all the boob licking and non-air dancing. So, why do you do it? Just curious....

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