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Thread: Pocket dialed my regular

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    Angry Pocket dialed my regular

    I posted a thread about one of my customers, who spends a lot of money but had a boundary issue. You girls were super helpful. I decided enough was enough and threw him in his place. He has respected my boundaries ever since, until now....

    So I come home from work and I'm having a conversation with my boyfriend about how my night went, while I showered and got ready for bed. So right before we hop into bed, I picked up my phone and notice what is happening so I hang it up right away. It's a good thing I checked because two more minutes and he would have heard my boyfriend and I having sex.

    It wasn't until the next morning I check my phone and see that this psycho was listening in for 28 minutes! I left my phone in the bedroom and had my conversation with my boyfriend in the living room, so he must have been pretty desperate to listen to whatever he can.

    Wtf is wrong with these guys? I feel creeped out and violated.

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    Well.. as much as I sympathize, it's kind of like handing pie to a fat kid and telling him not to eat it, and blaming him if he does. Yeah that's totally fucked up that he would realize it was a mistaken call and continue to listen but if you give these guys the mileage what do you expect?

    I'd delete his contact. Not sure why you'd still have it if you no longer wanted contact with him, but that's probably your first and only step. What else can you do? Give him shit for listening? Not likely. Just delete his number, deal with the embarrassment for a couple days until it goes away and move on. I completely get how you feel violated though, to say things with no reservation and no filter because you think it's only your boyfriend listening, but then to find out someone else can hear you as well? Definitely creepy, I don't blame you at all for feeling that way.

    Plus maybe he didn't hear the entire thing. Unless you were in proximity to it the whole time it probably was a muffled, low-volume conversation and he most likely only caught a few words. Brush it off, girl. That's what I say.

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    wow he must have a lot of free time on his hands to desperately try and listen in to your conversation for half an hour! LOL wow. if you were in the shower, and your phone was in the other room ( or your purse?) he can't have heard much. its creepy as hell, ill give you that..but that's what you gotta expect out of some of these guys. lock your phone next time!

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    there is also the possibility that your call went to his voicemail? it has happened to me, someones phone calling me by mistake and leaving looooooong voicemails where its obvious they have no idea that their phone is on...just a thought?!

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    Quote Originally Posted by kassie View Post
    I posted a thread about one of my customers, who spends a lot of money but had a boundary issue. You girls were super helpful. I decided enough was enough and threw him in his place. He has respected my boundaries ever since, until now....

    So I come home from work and I'm having a conversation with my boyfriend about how my night went, while I showered and got ready for bed. So right before we hop into bed, I picked up my phone and notice what is happening so I hang it up right away. It's a good thing I checked because two more minutes and he would have heard my boyfriend and I having sex.

    It wasn't until the next morning I check my phone and see that this psycho was listening in for 28 minutes! I left my phone in the bedroom and had my conversation with my boyfriend in the living room, so he must have been pretty desperate to listen to whatever he can.

    Wtf is wrong with these guys? I feel creeped out and violated.
    OMG! That is super creepy that he listened in on you...especially for that long! I wonder if he will bring it up to you when you return to the club.

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    Well he bought it up Sunday night. He left me a long ass text telling me how he heard what was going on. I told him it was very disturbing and not cool.

    He then tells me that he will not be coming in the club to see me anymore because "he's looking for a friend" and "doesn't like the new boundaries I set up"

    My additude is I would rather not interact with a stalker so that's fine by me. Monday morning, he's still texting me. I feel like he's a stalker and he will never leave me alone no matter what. He has "threatened" me in the pass that he won't come in and he came in anyways but I ended up having him kicked out because I won't play along with his games. He knows I'm not up for his bullshit. It's my way or the highway.

    And he didnt know if I was seeing someone or not. I have made it clear its none of his bussiness what I do or who I see in my life.

    The fact that he would ease drop into my private time, spends an obscene amount of money and tells me that he loves me even though he knows i do not love him back just shows what a psycho this man is.
    Gosh I'm so annoyed and disturbed ;(

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    If anyone cares to tell me any more of their obsessed regular story, please share!

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    I'm still new to dancing so I haven't had any obsessed guys yet (I'm already annoyed with guys wanting my number though because I'm afraid of THIS happening). But my ex has had his fair share of stalkers (due to his job, not in the adult industry) so I know how crazy and dangerous they can get. And: they always come back at some point. It can take months, but they will keep coming back until they find a new victim.

    "he's looking for a friend" and "doesn't like the new boundaries I set up"

    These statements clearly show he's got issues. Be careful, cut all contact with him and tell the bouncer about your situation (if you can and if he's cool). That's your best bet in my opinion.

    Be safe girl!

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    Quote Originally Posted by cairalis View Post
    there is also the possibility that your call went to his voicemail?!
    ^That was my first thought also. It has happened to me before and it can be embarrassing. Whether it went to his voice mail or not, he would have listened to the conversation (he was infatuated with you, so it would have been like x-mas for him to listen to you OTC, exactly where he wants you to have you, but can't). He probably would have only heard bits and pieces from the other room, if anything. I can understand how you feel about the situation, I would feel the same way! But, I agree that it would be a good idea to delete his number and cut ties...even if it means accepting that you he won't contribute to your income any longer .
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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    I agree with OliveJardin, you need to take responsibility for this entire thing because you brought it all on yourself. You aren't a victim in this scenario. If you made the mistake of keeping his number and of accidentally dialing him you need to take the blame for that and make changes in how you handle custies like this in the future. Prattling on about him being out of line is untrue and counter productive. You called him! Own it and make a better plan next time. I believe you are placing blame and playing the victim to avoid taking a look at a conflict of your own. If you were as turned off this guy and frightened, then you need to stop all communication instead of the petty back and forth with/about him. Maybe the money you made is why you kept the number? Is there ever a point where the money is not enough to make you turn a blind ye to threatening behavior? You need to ask yourself if you are being honest about how frightened you are because either you're smearing this guy a bit with dramatic declarations OR you need to make the decision to take this seriously and stop feeding into and stoking Mr. Cray-cray.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    Quote Originally Posted by Optimist View Post
    You need to ask yourself if you are being honest about how frightened you are because either you're smearing this guy a bit with dramatic declarations OR you need to make the decision to take this seriously and stop feeding into and stoking Mr. Cray-cray.
    I have known SO many girls (like in high school, not strippers) who are like "OMG this guy is so weird, he won't leave me alone, ugh why don't they realize I'm like so not interested" yet then I see their text conversation or Facebook conversation and they continue communication! So I say, why don't you just stop talking to him then? Don't respond. And they're like "I don't want to be rude" hahahaha yeah okay. You don't want to lose your attention. Anyway not saying OP is like that just a general comment.

    And lmao Genoveve!

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    First of all I do not play victim, I have set up my boundaries with this man. I no longer text this man unless we are scheduling our next meeting AT THE CLUB. I have made it very to him that this is nothing more than a stripper/ customer relationship.

    Just because I pocket dialed him by accident does not give him the right to ease drop. He should have just hung up. I have accidentally dialed him and he took advantage of it. He knew he was ease dropping and he knew it was out of line whereas I had no idea I pocket dialed him. Yea I fucked up and I had no idea I was doing it.

    You are extremely rude and I do not need people like you responding to my problem. This is supposed to be a support thread where we help each other out.

    What's next, people who leave their doors unlocked deserve to get robbed?

    I'm not victimizing myself, I just feel upset to the point that I needed to reach out to girls who would understand, and maybe offer me some good advice.

    Unbelievable, i would never make such a rude post to anyone reaching out for support.
    Last edited by kassie; 11-05-2013 at 03:20 PM.

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    If you truly can't reason your way through your own post to see the inanity and inconsistency of what you've written, there's nothing more to say. And btw, you didn't start a support thread. You asked for opinions on a message board so you got them. Clear analysis is not rudeness and we're not here to be fake if that's what you expected.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    You don't have to be fake, I agree but you do not have to be rude neither. There are much better ways to get your point across than to sound rude and condescending towards me.

    And yes I posted this thread for support and opinions but I didn't open it to be told that I deserve everything that is coming to me because I don't.

    Your "clear analysis" is definitely off and i dont agree with it. I can see you have zero experience dealing with this particular type of customer I'm dealing with, so thank you for your help ( if that's what you were trying to do)

    Anyways to all the other ladies who helped thank you. I'm at my wits end with this guy. He texted me today and I told him I will no longer be interacting with him. I know he's going to come to the club regardless since hes done it before. I have even spoken to his former dancers and they have had similar problems and one has even referred to him as a stalker. I'm going to talk with my manager.

    Thanks girls. Wish me luck!

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    Quote Originally Posted by Genoveve View Post
    I don't think that Kassie is a villain here. SO many girls exchange digits with their regs as a way to keep them coming into the club, how was she supposed to know he was going to go psycho? Should she just never give her phone number to anyone in her life again no matter what in case they go off the deep end?
    Hun, she's not a villain or a victim in this scenario regardless of spin. She's not so frightened that she deleted the contact based on their past history. She called him, he didn't call her. He listened to the message she left for him and clearly there is a history of calls made and meetings set between them. So why would he be villainized for taking the next logical step. So he never went "psycho" and the only person showing irrational aggression in this situation is her.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    Quote Originally Posted by kassie View Post
    What's next, people who leave their doors unlocked deserve to get robbed?
    No, but they also are not going to receive any sympathy when it happened because of their actions.

    Girl no one is being rude to you, this is just sort of the fact of the matter. I'm not sure what kind of advice you want because there's not really advice to give? Nothing we say can change anything, something happened, you're embarrassed, but you really have to own up to the fact that it WAS because of you, intentionally or not. And a forum isn't really a support group, it's an exchange of ideas and opinions, and unfortunately sometimes they aren't what you want to hear.

    I also don't know what you mean when you say you're looking for people who have dealt with this kind of customer before because what happened really has nothing to do with the business aspect of your relationship. It coulda been any random weirdo you accidentally dialed and he could have done the same thing, I don't see where the club or customers come into it.

    I think you just gotta bite the bullet and accept that you fucked up. If not because you pocket dialed him, cos it's an accident and you can't help it, but you could have prevented it from happening by deleting his number, and it sounds like you should have done that in the first place.

    “Truth does not become more true by virtue of the fact that the entire world agrees with it, nor less so even if the whole world disagrees with it.”


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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    Once again you are failing to see the whole point in this; I am not asking for sympathy, I'm asking for advice and by looking at your post I can see that you clearly lack experience and insight with psycho customers as well. Not only do you fail to comprehend what I am trying to say, you also lack the ability to recognize rudeness from other members and it seems to me that you think it's okay to ease drop on what is clearly an accidental phone call. I cannot take you seriously.

    The only thing I will own up for is accidentally calling this man (which i already did, in case you missed that part)FYI in case you didn't know dancers do keep in contact with their regulars. It is not common to encounter customers like this. Never have I ever in my 5 years of dancing dealt with this kind of customer, seems to me you have not either.

    With all due respect and i do NOT mean to be rude but since we are being brutally honest here, your logic needs adjustment. I cannot and will not take you seriously.

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    I don't think you're explaining yourself properly then because I'm not the only one with my opinion. Forget all the small details about your relationship with this guy cos they really are not relevant; the point is that he EAVESdropped (not ease drop) on a call that YOU facilitated.. Whatever, can not and do not take me seriously, as soon as you start throwing insults and being derogatory is where I leave off.

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    And thank you for your advice on deleting his number, thats one good advice i agree with. I am going to learn from this and change some stuff on my phone.

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    I explained myself well, you are maybe the only two with your similar "opinions," you are also going to excuse my English, its my second language.

    And yes my relationship with this man is revelant because it contributes to why I am upset about him listening in, I.e control.

    Anyways I'm not being insulting nor digoratory, I am stating your weakness and why I disagree with your logic. You did mention that being this forum is an exchange of ideas and opinions.

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    Double post
    Last edited by kassie; 11-07-2013 at 06:26 AM.

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    Quote Originally Posted by kassie View Post
    Wtf is wrong with these guys? I feel creeped out and violated.
    You made an honest mistake. It's embarrassing but it is not the end of the world.

    You've learned from it.

    If you are keen on keeping in touch with customers via telephone, a separate work phone is a good option. You can turn it on and off when you are in the club or right before you go in. It's an easy routine.



    As intrusive as Mr. Creepy-Dude's mouth breathing half hour phone listening party may seem, it is not intentionally designed to 'violate' you.

    Weird? YES. Creepy? YUP! Odd? You betcha!


    Mr. Phone-Dude's reaction is ridiculous. Ignore his texts... he will get a clue soon enough. Life goes on.

    Laugh it off. The dude is a loser.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    Eeeeeeeeeeewwwwww, I have a similar regular. He' really creepy and wants to take me out, always tells me he loves me and tries to kiss me in the lapdance area. He thinks we are in love. He gives me his number like everytime I see him so he can "take me out to the movies or a romantic night of dancing". ROFLMAO.

    I am so sorry that happened to you, what a fucking creep. He's pathetic.

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    Default Re: Pocket dialed my regular

    OP-I'm really sorry that happened to you and I know it feels like the creep was in your home. Not to sound like a bitch, but it's spelled eavesdropping. My inner grammar Nazi wouldn't shut up until I said that.

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