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Thread: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

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    Senior Member moonjade6's Avatar
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    Question Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    This JUST came to me. I was cleaning the room I share with my three-year-old, in my parents' house. I'm 26 years old, and pretty down and out, and I'm wondering if this is a possible alternative to a more independent lifestyle.

    Stripping didn't end well for me. The last time I worked as a dancer was in summer 2011, when I was living 900 miles away from home, in the Midwest. At that time, my situation was even worse. I had a shitty part-time job in retail, and I couldn't make rent. I didn't have a car, so I had to have a friend drive me 20 miles to the nearest decent strip club. I had to have another friend watch my son while I worked. The imbalance of giving and receiving made me a lose a lot of friends that year.

    It was my first dancing audition. Once I got the job, the pressure of doing well began to mount. So much of my future relied on how much money I made each night. If I came home and I didn't make a lot of money, my friend/babysitter bitched at me. My confidence wavered, and I began taking each rejection on the floor personally. I stopped making significant money pretty quickly.

    It was all like a snowball effect that just kept getting worse. The club closed for renovations for a month, and that's where things all went to shit. By the time it re-opened, I was being threatened with lawsuits and eviction. The club raised its house fees to exorbitant amounts. I couldn't even make enough to work there anymore. I had to make the decision to pack up and leave town with my baby. I moved back in with my parents on the East Coast.

    The next few years found me and my son in varying stages of poverty. We moved back to the Midwest--big mistake, because the job situation there wasn't any different. In that college town, all the students had a monopoly on the good-paying jobs. I moved three different times. I lived in co-ops and rented out rooms. Finally, this summer, exhausted with spinning my wheels and having nothing to show for it, I packed my few possessions in a rental car and drove 900 miles back to my parents' house to regroup.

    Things have been working out well so far. I have a full-time job at a hotel chain, and my mother's retired so she watches my son while I work. I just bought a car, and I haven't owned one since 2006. So, here's why I'm thinking about going back to stripping--I would like my future to belong to me, and not be someone else's vision. My father, a state worker, has gotten me a job interview with the state, as a toll collector. It's part-time, so that means that I'd be working up to 50 hours a week at both jobs. That sounds exhausting, and it means that I would hardly ever get to see my son. My parents would rather see me work to the point of collapse rather than go back to school, because that's how they lived their lives. I understand that they want the best for me; I just know that there are other ways to do this.

    Stripping Pros: Money, obvi. Possibly a shitload if I realize and learn from the mistakes I made last time. There is also less pressure than there was before, because if I fail at dancing, I can just quietly continue to work my hotel job. My job is also a great cover, because they have overnight shifts. I now have a car to get me from club to home and back.

    Stripping Cons: My parents have been amazingly supportive in helping me get back on my feet, and I don't like deceiving them. Plus, my mom isn't stupid and there's a chance that I could be caught before I'm able to move out.

    If anyone has any thoughts on this, or has been in a similar situation and could help me out with advice, I'd be really appreciative. Thank you.


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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    would she kick you and your baby out if she found out? because i was in your situation as well..young son, homeless, at the end of my rope, bad club, had to move in with my parents, starting stripping again, met a great guy, now i have my own place, my son full-time and very happy, and money. i'm also 26
    i would give it a go, it has gotten plenty of single mom's on their feet in their own place, including me! at first my parents had a huge problem with it, but when they saw that i wasn't getting into drugs and all the other stereotypes and i was using the money to take care of my son and myself and being a responsible, pro-active adult they came around

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    Senior Member moonjade6's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    would she kick you and your baby out if she found out?
    My mother is strict and Christian, without a DOUBT she would kick me out. I have a 12-year-old brother that she already thinks I'm negatively influencing. Neither of them would stand for it.

    I'm glad you had such a happy ending, that's an inspiration. The stakes are high for me, but if I can pull it off (that's the big question) who knows? It could go really well.


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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    oh wow, yeah my mom is christian too, thank god she's chilled out a bit. she WAS the kind of mom who made me memorize an entire book of the bible before i was able to get my license ick. so i feel ya. you would have to be very careful then, leaving no trace of stripper activity for her to find, and then try and earn as much as you possibly can as fast as you can so you can get your own place. could you live off what you are making now if you saved up enough? or would you forever have to live there?

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    Senior Member moonjade6's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    Now with just my full-time job, I would have to find a roommate if I wanted to live independently. Almost everyone at my job has a second job. This economy is insane =/ But I could use some of my current income to invest in heels, outfits, etc...thanks for the kind words. I'm going to do a little research on the site too ^^


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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    Living with a roommate ain't so bad, especially if it gets you out of the house so you can avoid sneaking around to dance while under their roof. Maybe you can even find a cheap, short-term sublet and sue that to get out of the house and be able to dance to save up for a proper place?

    I wouldn't recommend investing in heels or outfits at this point though. Put that money towards moving out, because I'm sure you have something that would suffice for an audition/first shift. No sense in using money on something you're not even sure about.

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    Veteran Member SkyeSabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    You could tell your mother you get a job as a bartender and keep your dancewear bag in the trunk of your car? As much as I'm against dishonesty with parents, you have to do what you have to do to get by and improve your life. My family is very Catholic and when they found I was dancing, yes there was an initial disappointment but after a period of time, they came to realize that I wasn't going to become addicted to drugs or start shirking on my parenting abilities, they eased off the judgement quite a bit.
    For cheap outfits to audition, I'd recommend ebay, they have some very simple stripper bikinis for a little over $10-15.
    Best of lucky to you, positive vibes being sent your way.

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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    I say do it but do it quickly and quietly and get out ASAP. Good luck.

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    Senior Member moonjade6's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    Thanks for the responses! I keep meditating on it, and the idea of dancing seems more and more appealing to me...especially considering that I work in the hospitality industry, and I've really improved my people skills and practice-flirting over the past few months. I've also lived out of state for the past 6 years, so I don't know anyone who would recognize me in a club setting.

    I do have a few outfits to start, but I'd have to buy dancer heels.
    Incognitus, I might just be able to quietly pull this off for a few months until I'm back on my feet.


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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    Whatever you do, don't bring your stripper heels into the house and deposit your cash in your bank acct before you come home. Singles usually raise suspicion.

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    Veteran Member Amira702's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    I probably wouldn't risk it. Right now, your parents are providing you with a place to stay and childcare. Dancing means you'll risk losing both of those. Unless you have a friend you can stay with that will babysit for you while you work then stay with the source of income you have until you can move out. Then dance.

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    Senior Member moonjade6's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    Quote Originally Posted by Amira702 View Post
    I probably wouldn't risk it. Right now, your parents are providing you with a place to stay and childcare. Dancing means you'll risk losing both of those. Unless you have a friend you can stay with that will babysit for you while you work then stay with the source of income you have until you can move out. Then dance.
    I understand what you're saying. I'm trying to weigh the risks in my head. The big thing I'm struggling with is the fact that my income right now isn't enough to live on, and if I were to solely rely on it to get me out of my parents' house, I would probably be here struggling to save up money for many months. Dancing (even if it's only a couple of days a week) is a tempting risk because if I were successful, it would get me on my feet that much quicker. My hope would be that with both incomes, I'd be able to afford my own place and not have to worry about living in a shitty/inexpensive neighborhood, or having strangers as roommates.

    My son just got approved for full-time subsidized daycare, so my mom wouldn't be the sole caretaker while I work anymore.


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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    Quote Originally Posted by moonjade6 View Post
    I understand what you're saying. I'm trying to weigh the risks in my head. The big thing I'm struggling with is the fact that my income right now isn't enough to live on, and if I were to solely rely on it to get me out of my parents' house, I would probably be here struggling to save up money for many months. Dancing (even if it's only a couple of days a week) is a tempting risk because if I were successful, it would get me on my feet that much quicker. My hope would be that with both incomes, I'd be able to afford my own place and not have to worry about living in a shitty/inexpensive neighborhood, or having strangers as roommates.

    My son just got approved for full-time subsidized daycare, so my mom wouldn't be the sole caretaker while I work anymore.

    Well IMO it sounds like the pros outweigh the cons for you so go for it, just be careful and make sure that you have money set aside in case you get caught so you can live in a shitty/inexpensive neighborhood vs being on the streets.

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    Senior Member moonjade6's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    Okay, so I just wanted to update because I actually went to audition at a club last night.

    After almost not going a dozen times out of nervousness, I finally got the courage and drove 45 minutes to the nearest club in the next state over. I walked in the club (Risque in Bristol, PA), and I thought it was really pretty nice how the stage was set up, and it was very busy for early Friday evening. The manager walked up to me and she shook her head and said, "I'm sorry, I can't." She patted my shoulder and told me that she thought I was a gorgeous girl, but she usually accepted girls who were a little more toned. I smiled, said thank you, and left the building. I understood--although I am tall and well-proportioned, there's no getting around my cringe-inducing BMI of 31. I used to dance in WI, but I'm guessing that they are more curve-friendly there.

    After giving it some thought (and checking out other club options on my phone, all of which were unsatisfactory) I drove directly to my local gym and signed up for a membership. New plan! I have my eye on an affordable apartment (on my current budget) the next town over from the club. I'll use my upcoming tax return to pay for the security deposit, and once I move in, I'll have a smoking-hot body and be able to audition again!


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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    Good for you for going in! do you mind if I ask why are all the other club options unsatisfactory?

    Remember when you start hitting the gym to start slow and steady

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    Senior Member moonjade6's Avatar
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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    Every other club I looked at in my state was either too much of a dive, or too far away from my current location.

    I'm imagining that once I move to PA, regardless of whether I've achieved my "toned" goal for Risque, my club options will be a lot more varied. The town I'm considering moving to is only about 35 minutes from Philly.

    So it looks like despite my worries, I won't be secretly dancing whilst under my parent's roof. I definitely like it better that way =)


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    Default Re: Never thought I'd say this, but thinking about dancing again. Advice??

    A dive is good to get your feet wet while you tone up..

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