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Thread: The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities

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    Member Adorra_Bella's Avatar
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    Question The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities

    I read this book and have to say that it completely changed the way I look at sex, relationships, my emotions, jealousy, and myself, all for the BETTER!

    Have any of you read this book? How has it helped you?

    If you have not read this book I can not recommend it enough, and I highly, strongly recommend that you buy it and read it!

    Ways this book has changed me-
    - I no longer feel slutty for sleeping with multiple men/women before I was married
    - I no longer get angry/jealous when discussing the possibility of open relationships with my husband (who also read the book)
    - I no longer imagine the 'worse case scenario' when a 'sensitive' issue arises in my relationship.
    - I have a better understanding of those who choose a poly lifestyle
    - I don't think I am 'broken' for falling 'in love' with multiple people
    -I am 100% more open minded about 99.9% of all sexual situations.

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    Member outdatedinnocence's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities

    I have this sitting on my bookshelf! I will have to give it a read, thanks for the suggestion.
    "Dream As if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today"

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    Default Re: The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities

    I have read it and really enjoyed it. When discussing it with a friend, he said he hated it because the message he took away from it was that you should just feel free to do whatever you want with whoever you want at any time and your primary partner should just deal with it and get over it. I was like "whoa, were we reading the same book?" I took the exact opposite message away from it.

    My favorite thing about it was the discussion about how you need to be able to communicate very well and set boundaries that are comfortable for everyone. "Open" doesn't have to mean the same thing to every person, and not discussing your expectations for being poly or in an open relationship only leads to trouble. No one I've ever tried to have an open situation with has seemed to understand that and would fall into the behaviors described by my friend above. But that's not the message I took from the book, so I liked that they addressed that problem.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

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    Member Adorra_Bella's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    the message he took away from it was that you should just feel free to do whatever you want with whoever you want at any time and your primary partner should just deal with it and get over it. I was like "whoa, were we reading the same book?" I took the exact opposite message away from it.
    I agree that i also took the complete opposite message away from the book! The book preaches respect and communication. It is not about doing 'whatever' you want. It is about being happy by being yourself. Some guys are so insecure lol. If someone tells you the truth and says 'listen, I really can't be in a solo relationship' they are being respectful of you. You can either say, 'ok we'll try' or 'sorry to hear that, good bye'. But it doesn't mean we get to do whatever we want.

    I love how the book stresses being open and having good communication. No secrets, no lying, and sticking to your boundaries.

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    Featured Member kittykrane's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities

    I read it..It's a good book. My partner and I are in an open relationship, but I haven't had the desire to meet anyone lately and I sure as hell don't pick prospectives from cam customers.

    I totally got that it teaches about open and honest communication and that there needs to be CONSENSUAL agreement between all parties (even ones who are not involved..say a wife or husband) and not go out and screw whomever and be accused of homewrecker drama, because it's not about that. For me, 99% of married men are off limits, especially if they aren't in open relationships too and their spouse can't verify (which most can't, but boy will they lie about it just to try and get some pussy). Which is why it is so good to take your time getting to know someone! The impatient ones and the liars don't stick around long.


    "If you don't stand for anything, you'll fall for everything"

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    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities

    will add to reading list, sounds interesting.
    xoxo

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities

    Saw it/looked it over @ an adult book store, will be checking it out again..


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Featured Member Rina's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities

    Read it a long time ago when I was first thinking about getting into an open relationship. It was invaluable.
    It completely changed my perspective and opened up a world of possibilities.
    I love the emphasis on communication and respect.
    It's a great book.
    "You want to fuck with eagles you have to learn to fly"- Heathers
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    ho ho ho ho merry banmas!!!!

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    Default Re: The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities

    I had to Google this book and found it's a book about sleeping with various people. While I have no problem with people doing this if they choose, I do not feel it's a lifestyle that should be promoted due to the risks. There are many, from what if someone gets a disease to what if someone gets pregnant?

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    Default Re: The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities

    I actually haven't read the Ethical Slut but I read a different one, Redefining Our Relationships, that had the same profound effect on my life. I haven't been in a monogamous relationship since!

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