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Thread: 18 years old: move out and become a stripper, or stay at home??

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    Senior Member Bambibabe's Avatar
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    Lightbulb 18 years old: move out and become a stripper, or stay at home??

    Here's a little background info:

    I lived on my own for two (semi-rocky) years after living in an unstable home with my mother. Last year in November I became an escort and was introduced to the sex work industry. Since I was 16, I've wanted to be a stripper! I just never had the opportunity because of my age.

    Now, I live with my grandparents who are great and very supportive of me. I live here for free and they feed me, drive me to school. Theyre like the parents i never had; however, I'm so used to living on my own and I crave the ability to do whatever I want. But I am still finishing my high school, so my head says the smartest idea is to stay here for the next year or two.

    Here's the deal: it's almost impossible for me to stay in one place. Things always go great for me for the first while, and then I find myself intensely restless. The only constant in my life has been *change*, I've never gone to the same high school for more than a year, had the same friends, same living situation, etc. I'm finding myself agitated by routine and itching to escape.

    Do you think I should be a play-it-safer or break free? I have a year and a half of high school left (I was a slacker) but I can always do online courses (I'm taking ILC right now anyways, so I go to an alternative school). My true passion is art, so stripping and living on my own would let me fill up half my week with violin and art courses, while fitting in school work on the odd day.

    I haven't begun stripping yet but I know it's something I would be interested in doing for the next 5-10 years. But I guess I can't say that yet considering I have no experience...although escorting taught me a lot.

    all of you are older and wiser than me so I appreciate and am requesting your advice!! Thank you!!

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    Veteran Member BANHammerGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: 18 years old: move out and become a stripper, or stay at home??

    unfortunately you've had a REALLY rocky upbringing so while normally I'd encourage following your bliss (while preparing for the worst) I honestly think that you're still so young and you have an opportunity to recapture some of the safety and security of childhood you were denied as a kid.
    Maybe sign up for some pole classes, but focus on fostering a strong connection with your grandparents and friends.

    I didn't start stripping til I was twenty. You were already a minor escorting so I think you should pull back a lot and enjoy what you have at the moment since you've already had to "be the grown up." Come up with ways you can work your gypsy ya-yas out. You've already had an isolating youth and online classes won't help that. Go out and join some youth sports or a climbing gym, or some place where people routinely set up group vacations that center on their interest (hiking, mountain climbing, volunteering.)

    Tell yourself that you'll give yourself a year or two and come up with smaller goals in the meantime that could help foster your dancing career-- pole classes, sales reading/conferences/possible part-time job, learning code so you can create your own website for when you're a badass travelling diva dancer, maybe take some photography or video classes so if you ever decide to do camming you've got a strong handle on that--especially since you've got a huge passion for art.

    hell, maybe there's a burlesque troupe around that you can do stage lighting/costumes/background duties for which will help you create friendships and also give you some cool stuff to prepare you when you strike out on your own.

    *stolen from AutumnAmbrosia*

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    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: 18 years old: move out and become a stripper, or stay at home??

    I think you should stay where you are for now and finish school, If you wanna move out after that then a get a part time job or if you have to strip part time so you can save some money and be stable when you do move, I left home young and moved around alot and I am still not stettled even now only because I want to move country s now, It gets tiring and stressful after a few years esp when your a full time dancer its harder to find places to live, Moving around all the time can just make whatever issues you have worst and it can become a vivious cycle, also same for dancing can be a very unstable environment, If I were you I would stay put, get a job and do art once or twice a week, when your so busy you won't have the desire to move so much.
    xoxo

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    Default Re: 18 years old: move out and become a stripper, or stay at home??

    Stay and finish school. Stripping is on the decline in almost every club. I thought I'd be good for my twenties. After two years, it has worn on me more than I would have ever guessed. Granted, I live in a very shitty city for stripping, but you never know what something like stripping will be like for you. Even if you try it out and love it, relying on it to pay your bills year after year can change that. Being okay with sexual contact as an escort is also very different from what you will experience in clubs. Don't think that because you're fine escorting and all that it entails you'll be fine with drunk assholes assaulting you each night, because I imagine consensual sex for good money is easier on the mind than dodging fingers for $20/song.

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    Default Re: 18 years old: move out and become a stripper, or stay at home??

    Don't cut the safety net until you have established something on your own first.

    If/when you move out, the first thing you'll have to think about is paying bills like rent, groceries, car/gas, insurance, etc. You'll definitely need a decent credit score, proof that you have income, and some savings to rent or buy.

    I'm sure where there's a will, there's a way to get what you really want but just be wise.

    Take up some hobbies, consider travel, to keep your spirit active and free.

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    Default Re: 18 years old: move out and become a stripper, or stay at home??

    To be honest with you to be escorting as a minor can really give you a fairly jaded view of life and men. Why don't you get some counseling and at least talk it out with someone so you can make some sound choices. You're young and you have a lot of opportunity ahead of you.

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    Default Re: 18 years old: move out and become a stripper, or stay at home??

    I don't know if it's the best answer, but here's my experience. I don't like to talk about it a lot, so I'll be brief.

    I ran out of my house one night in High School, my parents were fighting; it got physical, and I lived at a friend's house for a week. I was looking at leaving forever. Truly. When I was gone, I received my ACT scores - they were pretty good, and with those scores, I could get into the college I wanted.

    I ended up going back home (or, "home" as it were), going to college, earning a degree (first in my family to do so) ... the way I looked at it was : I'm going to get what I want, and I'm using my parents to do that. Not exactly a "loving" point of view I know; but - it worked. Perhaps I would have gone to college anyway; but it would have been MUCH more difficult.

    I don't know all of the details of your situation, so, who am I to say - what I can tell you is I stopped looking at my home situation as a "family" situation, and looked at it as "what can I get out of this." And it worked.

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    Senior Member Bambibabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: 18 years old: move out and become a stripper, or stay at home??

    Thanks for the feedback guys.

    To be honest, my view of men has been jaded long before I began escorting. Unfortunately, I fall into the category of a sex worker with a stereotyped past. I was sexually abused as a child for a long time, besides the physical/emotional/verbal abuse. Some people might say that the work I do or want to pursue is further damaging to my psyche, but instead I feel like it's given me the ability to view sexuality in an entirely different way. I feel comfortable as a sex worker...and I find it in part to be empowering, to be regaining control and turning the tables of the sexual exchange.

    I know you're all right about cooling it and sticking with my grandparents ... but now my best friend is packing up to go there and is depending one me to find an apartment with her...gah. My living expenses would be $1100 a month (in Montreal) for food, shelter, bus pass and phone bill. All of your advice has made me really consider staying where I am now, except now I don't want to break my friend's heart.

    I am going to Toronto to work weekends for an agency -- my friend made 5,000 a week there. I was thinking of banking there, going to Montreal and paying for an entire year of rent, and see how it goes. Once the lease is up, if I'm loving the way life is unravelling I'll stay there...if it doesn't, I can come back to my home-city and move back in with my family.

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    Default Re: 18 years old: move out and become a stripper, or stay at home??

    I have a very turbulent past as well. May I say only a few things:

    The gypsy feeling may never leave you. It hasn't left me, but I have turned it to something positive. I work and live in 3 countries depending on time of year and love it.
    Walk into this industry, don't run. With financial goals remember it is a marathon not a sprint, don't treat it as such.
    You have mentioned escorting, please do not think I am judging you, but if you do strip, please mind the parameters of the club even if you are comfortable with more.
    Begin some counselling even if you continue to pursue this plan. It helped me immensely.
    Finish school. Finish school. Finish school.
    Toronto is a tough city to work. What seems like sounds like easy money, never truly is.

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    Default Re: 18 years old: move out and become a stripper, or stay at home??

    Hi Bambi!
    I'm like you in a way, I had a rocky childhood, forever moving about and I was sexually abused by an uncle. It wasnt long term like I assume yours to be but it still had effect on me.
    I dont see myself as damaged but that, the dynamics of my family life and instability have all attributed to some of the personal issues I face today.
    Luckily for you you have people that love and provide for you, at no extra cost to yourself.
    I advise you to maintain and foster that relationship for as long as you possibly can.
    Like the above posters say I think you need to have a close network of friends and reach out to those who share the same recreational hobbies as you. Then maybe the need to go away and start stripping wont be as much.
    I think you should stay in school. Get your qualifications and have that in your back pocket as a plan b baby.

    In the meantime, you could always become a virtual stripper and phone sex operator.
    I'm doing this now and I can tell you I love it. I make good money and I've met nice people!
    Its safe as I can do it from the safety of my own home and maintain relative anonymity.
    I prefer this than stripping "in real life" due to some really seedy places with creepy men. At least on cam youre not coming directly into touch with them.

    As a virtual stripper you can dance, have costumes, play music and get that money pouring in! I use AW and its the best!
    Im sure you would do well on NiteFlirt too. How about selling videos on clips4sale and other such sites?

    Anyway I'm rambling on.
    I dont usually reply to issues on forums like this due to my lack of exp in the sex industry but yours struck a chord with me.

    Whatever your decision I wish you all the best baby. Safety and happiness above all. Feel free to PM me.
    Good Luck,

    Nubienne

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    Default Re: 18 years old: move out and become a stripper, or stay at home??

    I have a very turbulent past as well. May I say only a few things:

    The gypsy feeling may never leave you. It hasn't left me, but I have turned it to something positive. I work and live in 3 countries depending on time of year and love it.
    Walk into this industry, don't run. With financial goals remember it is a marathon not a sprint, don't treat it as such.
    You have mentioned escorting, please do not think I am judging you, but if you do strip, please mind the parameters of the club even if you are comfortable with more.
    Begin some counselling even if you continue to pursue this plan. It helped me immensely.
    Finish school. Finish school. Finish school.
    Toronto is a tough city to work. What seems like sounds like easy money, never truly is.

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    Default Re: 18 years old: move out and become a stripper, or stay at home??

    You've had some really good advice here and I've nothing to add. I can see how you kinda know what the 'safest' option is for your mental and emotional health yet still want to not do it, I can totally relate to that. Really understandable.

    Just wanted to post to say good luck and be careful with yourself, whatever you decide to do
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica1001 View Post
    (Oh, and also, allow me to excuse myself while I pick my mandible up from underneath my desk.)
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    Holy shit dude! You look fucking awesome! Get a damn boob job..
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    I have a feeling some men don't actually need a woman (or anyone at all) in their lives. They could marry their own penises and live happily ever after.
    Start the day with a smile and get it over with

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