Results 1 to 18 of 18

Thread: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

  1. #1
    Newbie
    Joined
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    6
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Duh Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    Thanks in advance for reading and commenting. I will try to be quick.
    Not really "in the biz" didn't know how to put it, but please read on.

    So back in August I really needed $, so I made an account on SA and ended up losing my virginity to this 45 y-o man who never paid me, never called, and didn't return any emails after that.

    I then made an account on "sugardaddie", which I actually found to be the best, but cost 50 pounds for one month!! Anyways, met a guy there, flew me to undisclosed European destination, and basically had to fuck him all the time.. Gave me 180 pounds when he dropped me at some tube station and that was it. Said I wasn't matuuure enough for him.. Well, buddy, I didn't even exist for more than half your life.

    Then I got really sick and couldn't keep my day job anymore, and spent most my days sleeping.. Got a message from this other guy on site, he was so persistent, so I met him... Took me to the casino, kept me there until the tube closed, taxi to his, and didn't pressure me to sleep with him, but we did anyways. Which was obviously his whole plan.

    Slept with him a couple other times, and he'd pay like half my cab.. And one night he bought Chinese, and said he used all his cash and couldn't make it to a cashpoint(had to leave really early in the morning for work).. SO I ended up paying for the cab.. Called me a slut and was soooo controlling and I knew him for like.. 2 weeks? And he had this rash that I noticed after the fact, and I was so freaked it was herpes and he had the audacity to try saying it could be from me!!! I had been sexually active for like less than a month at that point. Asshole.

    So then I lost my job because I was too depressed to really do it right, and was running out of money from being unemployed for a whole month prior and just sleeping. So this guy contacts me on SA, super rich, owns a football team.. Flies me to his city, I sleep with him and he leaves 100 euros for food or w.e, and then was supposed to be back next day but didn't cause his wife was worried or w.e he said. Told him he promised to be a good host, I was alone in a country whose language I do not speak.. Called me immature and didn't contact me for days.

    So anyways, I ended up borrowing money and flying back to my homeland. But it's so weird being here I am completely different. I can't possibly tell anyone all of this.. Although one of my close guy friends knows most, and surprisingly still talks to me.. I honestly can't stay here and pretend I'm still the old me, and being home just makes all my sacrifices a huge disgusting waste.

    I plan on flying back to where I was before and making this my "thing" sorta, and finish studying and paying my student loans and such. Ugh- life would be so much simpler if I came from money.

    Surprisingly I'm not too too upset, and am managing.. Mostly mad at myself for being so innocent and naive(well, not anymore!) I even let them not use a condom. I don't even know. Went to the sexual health clinic, everything clear, waiting til January for HIV test.. The woman almost called a social worker so I had to start lying..

    Alone in a foreign country, no parents, tough situations. I feel guilty, but I did what I had to do to survive.

    So? What would you do in my situation?
    Please nothing too negative. I know I was beyond stupid.

  2. #2
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    16,440
    Thanks
    47,042
    Thanked 34,925 Times in 12,871 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    Dang you wrote a long a$$ post. but only thing I could say is to definitely take better pride in yourself and your worth.

    Now that you have learned a lesson remember NEVER f*ck these men without condoms - your life and health is too valuable.

  3. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to miss.a.p1600 For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    God/dess simone87's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2012
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    5,171
    Thanks
    7,361
    Thanked 9,469 Times in 3,228 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    so..you are in the biz, or not? escorting? im confused lol. you need to get the money UPFRONT, and make that your priority, and use protection and be smart. treat it like a business, charge more, and don't let these shitbags fuck with you. hang in there! we all make mistakes

  5. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to simone87 For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Newbie
    Joined
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    6
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    Well, it was supposed to be a sugar dating type thing, but I was just really dumb about it.

    I'm currently in Canada, but am planning on moving back to London, Uk. .
    It really sucks being poor, and I've already ventured this deep.

    Thanks for the replies.

  7. #5
    Featured Member LaurenAus's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,361
    Thanks
    4,893
    Thanked 1,926 Times in 738 Posts
    My Mood
    Cool

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    SA is the worst thing to happen to humanity
    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    everyone I've fucked who was awful in bed should be forced to have sex with each other so they can all, collectively, figure out why I never called them back.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Nothing makes me feel like less of an adult than walking into several other people's apartments and realizing we all own the exact same lamp from K-mart.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    The fantasy sold to women through out history that a man will come along & rescue us is a lie.

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LaurenAus For This Useful Post:


  9. #6
    God/dess DonaDiabla's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2013
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    3,820
    Thanks
    5,361
    Thanked 7,701 Times in 2,730 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    Quote Originally Posted by ebb&flow View Post
    Thanks in advance for reading and commenting. I will try to be quick.
    Not really "in the biz" didn't know how to put it, but please read on.

    So back in August I really needed $, so I made an account on SA and ended up losing my virginity to this 45 y-o man who never paid me, never called, and didn't return any emails after that.

    I then made an account on "sugardaddie", which I actually found to be the best, but cost 50 pounds for one month!! Anyways, met a guy there, flew me to undisclosed European destination, and basically had to fuck him all the time.. Gave me 180 pounds when he dropped me at some tube station and that was it. Said I wasn't matuuure enough for him.. Well, buddy, I didn't even exist for more than half your life.

    Then I got really sick and couldn't keep my day job anymore, and spent most my days sleeping.. Got a message from this other guy on site, he was so persistent, so I met him... Took me to the casino, kept me there until the tube closed, taxi to his, and didn't pressure me to sleep with him, but we did anyways. Which was obviously his whole plan.

    Slept with him a couple other times, and he'd pay like half my cab.. And one night he bought Chinese, and said he used all his cash and couldn't make it to a cashpoint(had to leave really early in the morning for work).. SO I ended up paying for the cab.. Called me a slut and was soooo controlling and I knew him for like.. 2 weeks? And he had this rash that I noticed after the fact, and I was so freaked it was herpes and he had the audacity to try saying it could be from me!!! I had been sexually active for like less than a month at that point. Asshole.

    So then I lost my job because I was too depressed to really do it right, and was running out of money from being unemployed for a whole month prior and just sleeping. So this guy contacts me on SA, super rich, owns a football team.. Flies me to his city, I sleep with him and he leaves 100 euros for food or w.e, and then was supposed to be back next day but didn't cause his wife was worried or w.e he said. Told him he promised to be a good host, I was alone in a country whose language I do not speak.. Called me immature and didn't contact me for days.

    So anyways, I ended up borrowing money and flying back to my homeland. But it's so weird being here I am completely different. I can't possibly tell anyone all of this.. Although one of my close guy friends knows most, and surprisingly still talks to me.. I honestly can't stay here and pretend I'm still the old me, and being home just makes all my sacrifices a huge disgusting waste.

    I plan on flying back to where I was before and making this my "thing" sorta, and finish studying and paying my student loans and such. Ugh- life would be so much simpler if I came from money.

    Surprisingly I'm not too too upset, and am managing.. Mostly mad at myself for being so innocent and naive(well, not anymore!) I even let them not use a condom. I don't even know. Went to the sexual health clinic, everything clear, waiting til January for HIV test.. The woman almost called a social worker so I had to start lying..

    Alone in a foreign country, no parents, tough situations. I feel guilty, but I did what I had to do to survive.

    So? What would you do in my situation?
    Please nothing too negative. I know I was beyond stupid.
    Wait, are you a sugarbaby or escort? Girl, you need to really think of your body as your business and not allow cheap ass men near you. You learned your lesson and you can used that as an asset with the next man man that comes along. Although, I really only worked as phone sex operator, voice escort in Second Life, Erotica writer and a part-time middle class sugarbaby; I will give you some advice about the adult industry. You never allow no one to take advantage of you or try to cheapen you. Plus you never sex without condoms. I hope this helps you and I wish the best of luck. Also learn how much you are worth

  10. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to DonaDiabla For This Useful Post:


  11. #7
    Veteran Member Jasmine.Doll's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2013
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    564
    Thanks
    394
    Thanked 1,073 Times in 341 Posts

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    Wow. Sounds like you've been though hell!! So, uh, stop doing what you've been doing. That's clearly not working out. Can you dance in Canada to get the $ you need while you figure out your plans?

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Jasmine.Doll For This Useful Post:


  13. #8
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,733
    Thanks
    6,163
    Thanked 4,086 Times in 1,309 Posts

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    If you want to escort, then escort. If you don't want to but want to work in the sex industry then dance or do erotic massages. Don't depend on a sugar daddy, and don't expect to meet the ideal one online... I'm not saying it's impossible but generally, the majority of them aren't wealthy. Unfortunately, a lot are just trying to take advantage of naive young women.

    Learn from your mistakes. There is also plenty of other options apart from the ones I mentionned that would be more profitable than what you've been doing so far...

    I find it disgusting that some people out there who would take advantages of young women like this without feeling any remorse or guilt.

  14. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to xStacey For This Useful Post:


  15. #9
    Newbie
    Joined
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    6
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    Thanks girls and yes I know I was super stupid.
    I was really surprised that that one guy just took my virginity and didn't even care.
    I learnt a lot. Yes, yes, yes I did!

    One guy was legit, flew me first class, 5 star hotel.. Googleable.. BUT.

    Ok, I can't dance and my tummy is a bit..
    And in Canada men only like white girls I'm afraid.
    I suppose I need to work $10 an hour a bit.. Talk about exploitation, lol.

    THANKS AGAIN *sniffles* I can't believe how silly I was.

  16. #10
    God/dess DonaDiabla's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2013
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    3,820
    Thanks
    5,361
    Thanked 7,701 Times in 2,730 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    Quote Originally Posted by ebb&flow View Post
    Thanks girls and yes I know I was super stupid.
    I was really surprised that that one guy just took my virginity and didn't even care.
    I learnt a lot. Yes, yes, yes I did!

    One guy was legit, flew me first class, 5 star hotel.. Googleable.. BUT.

    Ok, I can't dance and my tummy is a bit..
    And in Canada men only like white girls I'm afraid.
    I suppose I need to work $10 an hour a bit.. Talk about exploitation, lol.

    THANKS AGAIN *sniffles* I can't believe how silly I was.
    Actually, you are not silly because you are just 18 years old and naive. I was your age when I started in the sex industry and I was a little green. Girl, there is always phone sex and cam model that will welcome you into the profession with open arms Do not give up yet. You can make it if this industry is where you want to be However, just be safe and careful next time.That was cruel what those men did to you Just cruel ;(

  17. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DonaDiabla For This Useful Post:


  18. #11
    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,980
    Thanks
    621
    Thanked 6,894 Times in 2,672 Posts

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    Quote Originally Posted by ebb&flow View Post
    Ok, I can't dance and my tummy is a bit..
    And in Canada men only like white girls I'm afraid.
    I suppose I need to work $10 an hour a bit.. Talk about exploitation, lol.
    Where in Canada are you? Feel free to PM if you don't fell comfortable posting publicly. But really, there is no city where you will not find a club to dance at as a non-white girl with a bit of a tummy. There are also other, non sex industry options if you are open to them. IMHO, you could probably use a break from the industry/these kind of men anyway to grow up a bit and gain some life experience.

  19. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to shanna dior For This Useful Post:


  20. #12
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    PDX
    Posts
    234
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    Am I the only one who thinks this person is trolling?

  21. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to abadvi For This Useful Post:


  22. #13
    Newbie
    Joined
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    6
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    REALLY WISH I WAS TROLLIN'.

    I'm actually quite surprised with myself. I'm not as messed up at this point as I probably "should" be.

    Although I probably won't do anything related ever again... Probably. lol.

    Aww, when you joined I was in the 4th grade and as innocent as ever.

    So anyways yah. Story is 100% sad and true.

    I was a bit torn whether or not to just "continue" because it would (somehow in my twisted thinking) all be a waste if I did not.
    And I was already upset at myself and feeling icky in my body and after all that I was still super broke (so all that loss for no gain!!!)
    Beyond upsetting. In fact I still sometimes start thinking about doing it, but this friend I really like said they wouldn't talk to me anymore if I did that again. SO.

  23. The Following User Says Thank You to ebb&flow For This Useful Post:


  24. #14
    God/dess DonaDiabla's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2013
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    3,820
    Thanks
    5,361
    Thanked 7,701 Times in 2,730 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    Quote Originally Posted by abadvi View Post
    Am I the only one who thinks this person is trolling?
    Nope, nope, nope....I believe this kind of thing could happen to many ladies and gentlemen when they start in the sex industry.

  25. #15
    Moderator IsobelWren's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Posts
    3,042
    Thanks
    6,061
    Thanked 9,946 Times in 1,854 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    To me it looks like lessons to be learned here are:
    1) Advocating for yourself = Speak up for yourself!
    Those guys stomped all over you because a) they are trash and should die in a fire and b) you didn't know better and let them. They saw an opening and used you.

    2) Knowing your worth.
    It sounds like your experiences made you feel horrible about yourself. And now you believe that you're ruined in some way and might as well continue to do something that you hate that makes you feel horrible? Why? Is there some kind of law or something?

    3) Thinking things through.
    Again, just going from what you posted here. You needed money, so (step 1) you signed up on a sugar baby site and (step 2) ..... (step 3) profit? What did you think would happen? I'm not asking this in a parental, "what were you thinking?!" kind of way, but in a friendly, "did you think this through?" kind of way.

    4) Doing your research = Research your goals.
    Ok. So you've learned the hard way that selling sex isn't whatever you thought it would be and that these guys will stomp all over you if you let them. So now what? You've asked what we would do in your situation, we can answer that..... but what IS your situation? Ask yourself what you want. Assess your assets and tell us what you've got and what you want so that we know your situation.

    So. Just working from those four points, my general advice (which you may have already come to on your own):
    1) A healthy dose of paranoia is just that, healthy. People who want something from you (sex, in this case) do NOT have your best interests at heart. They will not fuck you and THEN pay you. You must tell them the way it's going to be and stick to your guns. Assume that they want to totally fuck you over and then behave in a way that a) assures they cannot fuck you over and b) makes them not want to fuck you over.

    2) Decide what your bodily integrity is worth to you. An example-I don't do religious-themed sex shows because it makes me feel bad to do them. When I was young I would sleep with anyone who took me on a date because I felt like I owed it to them for spending money on me and taking the time to be with me. So what I was saying to myself is that I'm worth half of a $60 dinner? Oh hell no! People now pay money to have my company, as they should because I'm worth it. I'm pretty and smart and funny. It's not I who am being graced with their time. It's they who are being graced with my time. Not like I suddenly flipped that in my head in one night though. I had to take the time to make myself the kind of person I could admire, the kind of person I would want to spend that time with.

    3) Look at the consequences of actions. Before you make any move, look at what will happen down the line. If Penthouse pays me to take naked pictures of me = I get money, they get to do what they want with the pictures = I pay my bills, they may put the pictures in the magazine, they may put the pictures online = people I know now may see them = people I know in the future may see them = the prevailing sex negative attitude in the US may keep me from getting a particular job or get me fired from a job I get and like in the future = so if I want to be a kindergarten teacher (where image is important) I shouldn't take those pictures

    4) Lots of what we think we know is just what we think we know, though. If I wanted to make a chocolate cake I wouldn't just start jamming things in a bowl, I would go look up a recipe, right? So it's like that everywhere. Think you want to hang glide? Go look at videos of hang gliding online. Go search for stories of hang gliders. Find a hang gliding forum. Read "hang gliding for beginners." Find a hang gliding studio in your area. Ask what their rates are (and compare those against the "typical rates" that you've already found online). Maybe about half way through this process you'll find out that you're deathly afraid of heights. It's far better to find out during your research than to find out when you're on your roof after having cobbled together a hang glider that you made from a picture in your imagination 10 minutes after you decided you wanted to hang glide.

    Does any of this make sense? Am I being weird and off-the-mark? Also why did you have to lie to avoid the social worker being called? What would have happened if she had called a social worker?


    I

    Quote Originally Posted by Renton View Post
    Him: we could meet... im 5ft 9 sexy italian with a 8 inch love stick...imagine playing with me... how would you do it
    Me: I would cut off your dick and feed it to the pigs

  26. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to IsobelWren For This Useful Post:


  27. #16
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    PDX
    Posts
    234
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    Okay, sorry for the suspicion. I would get out of sex work for awhile if I was you. I didn't start til I was 23 and I think it really helped me have a better perspective on what I was willing to do and what I wanted to get out of it. IsobelWren's post is top notch advice, in this biz and in general. Good luck.

  28. The Following User Says Thank You to abadvi For This Useful Post:


  29. #17
    Newbie
    Joined
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    6
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    Well I was in a pretty bad situation. I worked for a slew of evil people (au pair) and ended up without anywhere to live and not enough $ to get home (loong story)
    Originally I had just been toying with the idea. But then the worst happened! On top of that my visa did not give me Èrecourse to public funds' and in England, emergency shelter is not given in that case (which is insane!!) but anyways......

    What you said makes sense. I should have researched more, but was in a super crappy situation.
    Well the nurse or dr.. w.e her title was had to ask me about sexual history and practices.. And I was being truthful up until the point her eyeballs
    started to bulge and she started kinda freaking out.. Asking me, 'Where are you meeting these people?! Online??' 'No...I..eum(yes..)' So I began lying a bit to calm her
    down. And then I got all nervous and said not to worry and let out a few awkward giggles. And she said all scarily, 'Well, I have a duty of care because of your age.. Up until you are 20.. I would need to report this if I felt you were in danger'

    And really it would do no good 'cause I was homeless and I am not British!! So they couldn't help me and they would probs just call my embassy and make a big deal
    and then my family would be involved.. Like NO. Mhmm.

    Currently I am attending college.. But let us just say I left here for a very good reason.. So I want to leave again but I am not skilled or educated past h.s so it is tough.
    Mhmm. So mostly I am working on mending my mind and trying to just think alright and be ok. Cant really tell anyone what happened. So itès weird.

    Getting fully tested again, and 3 months finally passed, so I took some blood tests.. Should have results tomorrow and rest this week. FUN TIIIIIIIMES.
    The place I went to is especially for young people and so they are extra probey ... I dont want to get referred to counselling or something cause that
    kind of business shows up on your health record. idk. I might change my mind after some time, if I do not start getting back to myself.
    But it has been 3 months or so and I am a bit better. So I will give it time.

    Thanks a bunch for your reply!

    Oh yah.. And definitely.. I didnt realize people could actually be so evil and malicious. I feel sooo dumb it makes me sick. Live and learn.

  30. #18
    Banned
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Aboard The Spaceship
    Posts
    4,787
    Thanks
    3,183
    Thanked 10,142 Times in 3,290 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: Advice Sought (18 y/o female, already "in the biz" but need help!)

    Quote Originally Posted by LaurenAus View Post
    SA is the worst thing to happen to humanity
    I know, it makes me sad that people think they can still find big spenders on the internet in 2014 . Sugardaddy- I'm not talking on cam. In 2010 you could, before social media was as big as it is, and things were more niche. But not now. Even in 2010, you still had to search hard too. I had 4, didn't have sex with them, but 1 was pessimistic and annoying, another was bored and annoying, another was too materialistic/flashy and annoying, and the fourth told me he loved me and called me his girlfriend but he was married and had no plans to divorce so... no.

    And anyway, people with money aren't going to be sitting online scouting girls all day. They are going to meet them in person, hanging out where people with money hang out. And they aren't going to be sketchy if they are real, they will be upfront with you.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 7
    Last Post: 07-16-2013, 03:26 AM
  2. Woman asaults girlfriend with "female sex toy"
    By tempest666 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-17-2011, 10:01 AM
  3. Arnold Classic 2009 vid and other "biz" info
    By Will in forum Body Business
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-30-2009, 08:04 AM
  4. I wanna KILL female "customers"
    By jaizaine in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 207
    Last Post: 01-26-2009, 08:51 AM
  5. Haha...Female customer gets "OWNED" *video*
    By KittenCaboodle in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 10-23-2006, 11:22 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •