Results 1 to 24 of 24

Thread: Completely distraught :(

  1. #1
    Veteran Member HoolaTwister's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    492
    Thanks
    2,228
    Thanked 862 Times in 300 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Dizzy Completely distraught :(

    Hey everyone

    of course my first post is a crisis post but here it goes. My long term (off and on) boyfriend changed his number on me today. I am still in shock. He has never done anything like this before and this hurts like utter and complete hell. I have been crying non stop all day. Our relationship was complicated and crazy but I have always been there for him and he does this to me. I have not been clingy or stalker ish at all, in fact I was keeping him at arms length so why do such a radical thing? He could have just blocked me? Ugh this hurts. I have done so much for that man and after our previous separation I had finally started to trust and love him again. And now this. And there was no big blow up or anything. This is out of the blue.

    Has anyone else been through this? Any advice? I would really really appreciate it. Oh and this is my first post under a different name. I have been reading the board for years and used to post on a regular basis. Sucks that this is my first post back!

  2. #2
    Veteran Member HoolaTwister's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    492
    Thanks
    2,228
    Thanked 862 Times in 300 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    Just realized this is in the wrong section, meant to post in life support!

  3. #3
    Veteran Member Jade62013's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2013
    Location
    The Interwebs
    Posts
    211
    Thanks
    515
    Thanked 1,231 Times in 159 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    If he don't want you, you don't need him. Forget him and move on girl. But you already knew that didn't you?

  4. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Jade62013 For This Useful Post:


  5. #4
    Member lovelykinkade's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2013
    Location
    dallas
    Posts
    25
    Thanks
    25
    Thanked 10 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    Everything happens for a reason, I've been there .fuck him, I know its easier said than done but never let urself b treated like shit, it fucks up ur mind and heart, u need those to b open, cry all you need to, I'm a crier so I understand. Work thru the pain and take it day by day,.some days will b good, some bad, but make as much space as possible for u to heal and grow from this, he doesn't deserve a place in ur heart or mind now or in the future.... Good luck

    I

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lovelykinkade For This Useful Post:


  7. #5
    Veteran Member HoolaTwister's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    492
    Thanks
    2,228
    Thanked 862 Times in 300 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    Thanks guys, I really need to hear these things now.

  8. #6
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,698
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked 4,248 Times in 1,017 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    He did you a favor.

  9. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to JoJoX For This Useful Post:


  10. #7
    Veteran Member jadey23's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    329
    Thanks
    468
    Thanked 494 Times in 169 Posts
    My Mood
    Sleepy

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    i'm sorry girl -- i've been there. it does feel like the shittiest thing to ever happen, but know that you are not the only one. this is just what happens when you're in a relationship with someone who's foot seems to always be out the door... eventually they'll step out all the way. let it break you for a little bit, then time will just erase it. you'll realize that subconsciously you wanted this to happen -- loving someone but at the same time DOUBTING their devotion to you is SOOO stressful and you convince yourself that it's what you need, but you'll come to realize that it's really really not. there's a big world out there -- go to the gym, set some goals for yourself, and take it day by day. i promise you it'll get better.
    Unsophisticated in the finest sense of the word.

  11. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to jadey23 For This Useful Post:


  12. #8
    Member Jessic.a's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    27
    Thanks
    408
    Thanked 62 Times in 16 Posts
    My Mood
    Brooding

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    Jadey is on point. I know that awful pain in your stomach, your lungs, your fuckin heart. I'm sure most of us do. If he did something that seems completely radical of his personality (like change his number) then he was probably doing other things you're unaware of. Especially since you said it was out of the blue. Don't waste your time on boys. You're a better catch than that.

  13. #9
    God/dess simone87's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2012
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    5,171
    Thanks
    7,361
    Thanked 9,469 Times in 3,228 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    i know exactly how you feel! happened to me 4 years ago, when the *Supposed* love of my life, my sons' father ditched me and moved in with another girl the same day, and i wasted a year and a half crying, depressed, pining away. the first day i thought i was gonna die i was so heart-broken. it was one of the most severe emotional wounds i've ever gotten.
    but now, 4 years later, im SO glad he did it, because i never would have had the balls to break it off! i was stressful being with him, his cheating, his lack of affection or devotion or honesty..the relationship was living hell and now i'm so much happier and i'm FREE. its like ripping off a bandaid..at first it's gonna hurt like hell, but its got to be done and it will get better. you dont need that!

  14. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to simone87 For This Useful Post:


  15. #10
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    6,948
    Thanks
    2,845
    Thanked 5,526 Times in 3,113 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    There are plenty of other carp in the creek. Throw your bait in and get one.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to slowpoke For This Useful Post:


  17. #11
    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Bi coastal Gypsy
    Posts
    4,812
    Thanks
    7,738
    Thanked 5,910 Times in 2,491 Posts
    My Mood
    Pensive

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    I agree with everyone here ^ I just got out of a on off again relationship 2 months ago & I'm just now starting to feel better about everything. I've taken up traveling as a form of escape & it has worked immensly. Time heals all wounds <3
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




    "Respect is a dying art"

    "Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box"


  18. #12
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2013
    Location
    Sverige!
    Posts
    651
    Thanks
    717
    Thanked 1,219 Times in 431 Posts

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    Anyone who would do something so brash and impulsive is not worth it. This says a lot about his character,

  19. The Following User Says Thank You to Vackra For This Useful Post:


  20. #13
    God/dess audritwo's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2013
    Location
    10.0.0.1
    Posts
    4,582
    Thanks
    5,702
    Thanked 19,566 Times in 3,647 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    Story time:
    When I went off to college, my highschool boyfriend did the same to me. He said goodbye to me when I left, and that was the last I heard from him. He changed his number, blocked me from his myspace and turned it pvt. He also told all our friends that we broke up mutually. Yeah that was total mutual. First time on my own, 3 hours away from home, no friends, and no cellphone service.

    Long story short, we got back together when I was back home for the summer. I ended up transferring schools to be closer to him. I thought everything was alright. And he did it again. I said fuck it. I'm done.

    And when I said I was done, I packed up my shit in one suitcase, bought a one way plane ticket, and moved to Florida. I was done.
    That was like 6 years ago.

    I am now happily married and we have a four legged kid.
    There are much better out there.





    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_Red View Post
    Audritwo's asshole sees all, knows all. Spurs on armies of orcs. Casts fear into the dwindling races of Middle-Earth. Fears hobbits.

  21. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to audritwo For This Useful Post:


  22. #14
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    Fuck 'em all.

    There is only one person who really counts in this life. To find out who that is, go into your bathroom and look in the mirror.

    As soon as you realize this, the happier you will be.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  23. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Djoser For This Useful Post:


  24. #15
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    yup, there's one operative word for this sort of situation ..... NEXT !

  25. #16
    Newbie 77TaylorR's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    12
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 8 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    Relationships ending are so tough. Those feelings of rejection are also very tough to deal with. But honestly, in the end, you will look back and, just like someone else said…he did you a favour. Clearly he didn't respect you enough to break things off in a mature and respectful way, so he's clearly a douche. Let yourself feel the feelings of hurt, sadness, and whatever else may come up, don't deny yourself that. Pushing the feelings down is definitely not good. Get it all out now, and in no time, you will bounce back 10 times stronger than you were when you were with this clown.

    Stay strong, you deserve better and you ARE better! :o)

  26. The Following User Says Thank You to 77TaylorR For This Useful Post:


  27. #17
    Senior Member Tarasaurusrex's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    188
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked 220 Times in 100 Posts
    My Mood
    Goofy

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    Even though you know logically that all the above comments about him not being worth your time, etc. are true, I can see how it is hard to stand back and view the situation objectively, especially if this is a recent event.

    Love activates pleasure centers in your brain, much like drugs, so you sort of get addicted to that 'high' of being in love - usually this is the case in really intense tumultuous relationships, there is a healthy way to experience love, but usually when you are in young adulthood you are still making your way to that point. Anyway, so you have been used to having this person in your life that no doubt made you feel good about yourself (perhaps not good at times), but obviously whatever feelings you are/were experiencing were stronger than any oppositional feelings, otherwise you would have ditched him.

    So basically the next few weeks are sort of like a sobering up period.....you feel like it's the end of the world, the failed relationship consumes your thoughts and it's just generally a struggle to not think about it. Sure there are good times, but you still most likely harbor some desire that he will change his mind. Of course, if he does this too soon the consequences would be awful, because he would end up hurting you again - most likely.

    However you just need to make it through the "drying out" phase of getting over your specific addiction to that person and the positive feelings you had from being with him. Think of it as a love addiction detox and try to do something everyday to make you a better you, like take up a spin class, go on a trip, etc. Soon enough you will get the pleasure you once needed his assistance to attain, all on your own.

    Weird analogy, yes, but in my experience depriving your reward system is an uncomfortable transition. You will make it though and be a better you for it
    "I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act." - Abraham Maslow

  28. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Tarasaurusrex For This Useful Post:


  29. #18
    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Bi coastal Gypsy
    Posts
    4,812
    Thanks
    7,738
    Thanked 5,910 Times in 2,491 Posts
    My Mood
    Pensive

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    ^ going thru something similar to this situation, thanks for the helpful advice <3 It is true that it does feel like a love detox ugh it's been 3 months for me but feels alot longer bc I go back & forth between feeling resentful to harboring feelings that he'll maybe return.... I try not to think about him too much but it is a challenge.
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




    "Respect is a dying art"

    "Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box"


  30. The Following User Says Thank You to xxxGothBarbie For This Useful Post:


  31. #19
    Senior Member Tarasaurusrex's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    188
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked 220 Times in 100 Posts
    My Mood
    Goofy

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    Quote Originally Posted by xxxGothBarbie View Post
    ^ going thru something similar to this situation, thanks for the helpful advice <3 It is true that it does feel like a love detox ugh it's been 3 months for me but feels alot longer bc I go back & forth between feeling resentful to harboring feelings that he'll maybe return.... I try not to think about him too much but it is a challenge.
    I had a similar situation, only he was a convict - LOL, well I mean nothing serious. But he pretty much did as he pleased and claimed he loved me, but I got sick of him never doing anything so I finally left him. Then missed him terribly (we dated for 2 years). He ends up back in jail and I write him, blah blah, finally I meet someone new, who is a hot mess as well and I end up having to change my number to keep his crazy behind away from me, but then, luck is on my side and I meet someone really great, who I am still with.

    Although it was awkward then first love initially got out of jail, but it's just not the same.....although I am in a happy relationship with a non-convict bilingual business-owner, I still talk to my first love's mom (we were always super close - is that weird?) and I heard he was marrying his new (not new, they have been dating for 3.5 years, just like me and my SO - damn, time flies) girlfriend and has his act together, which is great and all, but this immature nasty part of me wonders why he couldn't have done all that when we were together?! Like, was I not good enough to be shown some sort of relationship decency!

    I will chalk it up to the fact that we were both young and still in party mode and let sleeping dogs lie. I think even if your first love is a douche, you still have a hard time NEVER thinking about them. I was watching a documentary that explained how the younger you are the more intense relationships seem - like life or death intense. Thank God I am not a teenager anymore, but I can totally see that.
    "I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act." - Abraham Maslow

  32. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Tarasaurusrex For This Useful Post:


  33. #20
    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Bi coastal Gypsy
    Posts
    4,812
    Thanks
    7,738
    Thanked 5,910 Times in 2,491 Posts
    My Mood
    Pensive

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    yea I feel you on that ^ mine went to rehab & we haven't spoke in almost 4 months since he left, apart of me knew that was it on his part but I still felt some hope. I've pretty much given up on that hope by now. I'm living for me now & that's all I can do. It is quite relieving to know that I'm not the only person that's gone thru this. I love these stories , it is very theraputic
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




    "Respect is a dying art"

    "Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box"


  34. The Following User Says Thank You to xxxGothBarbie For This Useful Post:


  35. #21
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    Every single breakup I have had, I was eventually very glad a while later.

    The first one was the hardest, it took me a while to get over that even though it was me who did the breaking up. Thank all the gods I did though.

    The more often it happens, the easier it gets.

    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  36. The Following User Says Thank You to Djoser For This Useful Post:


  37. #22
    Senior Member msincredible01's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    CandyLand
    Posts
    181
    Thanks
    137
    Thanked 156 Times in 61 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    It will pass. That horrible feeling in your gut, the depression and sadness. It WILL pass. Turn your focus on you. This is a good time to hole up and do a little soul searching and self discovery. Read a book, watch movies, use SW as a means to distract yourself. Find positive distractions. Buy yourself something new. Go running or on a vigorous walk. Fuck him.. he might come back, he might not. Write out a list of short and long term goals you'd like to achieve without him in your life. Work more or work less, whatever helps.

  38. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to msincredible01 For This Useful Post:


  39. #23
    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Bi coastal Gypsy
    Posts
    4,812
    Thanks
    7,738
    Thanked 5,910 Times in 2,491 Posts
    My Mood
    Pensive

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    Quote Originally Posted by msincredible01 View Post
    It will pass. That horrible feeling in your gut, the depression and sadness. It WILL pass. Turn your focus on you. This is a good time to hole up and do a little soul searching and self discovery. Read a book, watch movies, use SW as a means to distract yourself. Find positive distractions. Buy yourself something new. Go running or on a vigorous walk. Fuck him.. he might come back, he might not. Write out a list of short and long term goals you'd like to achieve without him in your life. Work more or work less, whatever helps.
    ^ I'm doing exactly this now and am finding myself happier as each day passes When i'm having a rough moment I usually just think of all the bad things I disliked about him & it usually works great as a distraction for me. He really was toxic for me now I realize months later, Never wanted to do anything fun, but now i'm living it up doing all the spontaneous things I always wanted to do while we were together & it def makes me happier.
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




    "Respect is a dying art"

    "Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box"


  40. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to xxxGothBarbie For This Useful Post:


  41. #24
    Moderator Miss_McKenna's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    1,892
    Thanks
    82
    Thanked 825 Times in 437 Posts

    Default Re: Completely distraught :(

    Listen to some positive music, and get out there and enjoy your life... soon you'll be over the sadness, into the angry phase and then you'll get to the phase where you realize he's a total douchcanoe that you are SO much better out without!!


Similar Threads

  1. completely alone...p
    By ash_00 in forum Life Support
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 08-27-2012, 11:18 AM
  2. and now for something completely different...
    By G-Real in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-15-2007, 02:07 PM
  3. Completely Evil
    By ChubbyChaser in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 05-28-2007, 10:43 PM
  4. Completely New
    By TimidAngel in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 04-19-2004, 08:04 AM
  5. This is completely unbelievable
    By Farrah_Holiday in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 02-09-2004, 01:45 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •