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Thread: Scared because of fan!

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    Default Scared because of fan!

    Hi girls I have been a camgirl for a few months and I have a great fan that spoils me but also scares me. I never show my face, but as he insisted, I finally did it outside of a show, during a normal conversation. Now I am afraid that he will make a compilation of all the videos, including the one where i show my face, and screw me for life (I do have a job outsider the camworld). He was pissed off with me because last time I didn't show up on skype as I had promised (normal reaction). He wanted to be my sugar daddy and meet me live for coffee but I've been refusing it. He talks about "loving me" and being my "protector". I like but...hey it' s only been 4 shows and I'm NOT going to meet ppl in the real world (though I know I create empathy very easily and that many fans really like me)! He says he is extremely rich and that he's fallling in love with me, which is scary, because it makes no sense, particularly since he is very intelligent and seems a strong person.... not a lonely romantic and retarded man... he seems this kind of people that don't believe in anybody... he seems sceptical about everything. So it seems stupid to me that he says he's falling in love with a camgirl... especially after such a short time. I don't know if I have any reason to be panicking, but I felt really threatened in this situation: he said he was in love with me + last time he was somewhat angry with me + I was showing him my face for the first time + he showed me a video of me that somebody posted on a pornsite (it's from before I chatted with him for the first time, and there's no face in the video, so no reason to stress out). I know that there's no definitive answer to my post, but tell me... has it haver happened to you that a person that previously spoiled you all of a sudden starts threatening or blackmailing you? That is my fear!!! I also don't want to be paranoid and hurt him in case his intentions have only been good!

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    God/dess kortneykay's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scared because of fan!

    Cut him off and don't worry about his "blackmailing". Most of them are bluffers and are trying to elude power over you. Nip it right at the bud with a block and don't look back. I've had very few guys "try" to blackmail me. I take my power back and then follow it with an immediate block and or report them.




    Believe In Your Brand



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  4. #3
    Featured Member Missbeth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scared because of fan!

    Like kourtney said, cut him off. Block him, tell him you arent comfortable with the way things are going, do whatever you have to do to cut off communication.
    It seems like he's a little obsessed but if you cut off communication he will most likely move on

    As far as blackmailing you.. Even if he recorded your face as long as he doesn't know anything like your name, where you live, where you work etc a vid of your face (if he did indeed record you) will most likely get lost out there in the vast corners of the internet

    Another suggestion.. if you feel threatened buy a gun and learn how to properly use it. Honestly I think every girl in the adult industry should... Too many crazies out there.
    Quote Originally Posted by JackAlexander View Post
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    Default Re: Scared because of fan!

    The money is there to help you! You don't talk to him unless he is paying you. Unless he's paid you and you are sexy girlfriend kitten on the clock, he is talking to the receptionist in your brain. She isn't very lovable, just there to answer the phone and set up appointments. It puts them back in their place when they realize they are just there to give you money and have you be their actress. You don't have to try so hard to be nice to get shows, camming is such an easy gig that all you really have to do is weed out the creeps and do the shows you are ok with.
    Yes, I'm real.

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  8. #5
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scared because of fan!

    Quote Originally Posted by cristiana View Post
    HHe says he is extremely rich and that he's fallling in love with me, which is scary, because it makes no sense, particularly since he is very intelligent and seems a strong person.... not a lonely romantic and retarded man... he seems this kind of people that don't believe in anybody... he seems sceptical about everything. So it seems stupid to me that he says he's falling in love with a camgirl... especially after such a short time.
    Either one of two things:

    1) He's not "falling in love" with you - he's playing you. He wants to fuck you, so he's saying whatever he needs to say to con you off the internet to meet him IRL.

    Or

    2) Regardless of how he might normally be (skeptical, aloof, intelligent), these things tend to go out the window for a lot of men when they meet a sex worker they really click with. He could genuinely believe that you are "different" and he "needs" to be with you. Just remember, it's a fantasy he's in love with. He doesn't actually know anything about you - and fantasy girls are a lot easier to fall for than "real girls" who poop and get angry just like everyone else. And that sort of infatuation can be dangerous.


    His intentions are not good either way. Things will only escalate in behavior like this if you keep accommodating it. Just cut him off. You don't owe him anything. He'll move onto to harassing someone else and you'll find plenty of other regulars who won't push your boundaries and make you uncomfortable and scared.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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  10. #6
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    Default Re: Scared because of fan!

    Please don't take this as mean or rude, this is just what helped me get over my fear of being "found out" and having people see vids of me on the Internet.

    I'm sure you're a fantastic webcam model, but Youre not that special, honey.

    You are among thousands. Unless you're on a "famous" level of webcamming, any video compliations made just to include your face wont go viral. It will probably get a little popularity among existing fans, but it will just be another video among hundreds and hundreds in the "solo" section of a porntube site, and will get a few hits from randoms before fading into depths of the other thousands of videos very similar to yours. There's always the chance of someone you know coming across it, but it isn't likely... especially considering you've only been a cam model for a few months. If he doesn't know any of your personal information, there's no way he can direct it towards anyone you know.

    That doesn't excuse this mans behavior, he seems like he might be pretty manipulative. It sounds like he hasn't actually threatened you with anything, but if you really get the feeling that it's coming, just block him. It's not worth the stress. The fact that he's angry over missing a Skype date doesn't seem like a reason to blackmail you... if you make it up to him with a free ten or fifteen minutes added onto your next show, he'll probably forget about it by the time you're done. Im sure you'll go right back to being loved and spoiled!!

    I've nipped that sort of thing in the bud by refusing to give it power.. For example, I've had a few people say things like "omg I went to your high school" or "I know you in real life," and I always respond with "make sure you give them the link to my profile when you're spreading the gossip!" all of them have turned out to be lying, and they left me alone instantly because they knew they couldn't get anywhere with me.

    My point is, when you're scared like this, you have ways to take back the power. Block him, report him, refuse to let his threats phase you, let him know early on that manipulation won't get him anywhere.

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    Senior Member AmethystLily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scared because of fan!

    I agree with everything that's been said.

    As a sex worker, your default should be that no customer's intentions are good.

    I was in a similar situation last month, and I cut the dude off completely. He:

    1) Used the L-word with me. I'm a model that he met on a webcam site. He knows nothing about who I am when I shut off the camera. I mean, I'm not anything on cam that I'm comfortable with being, but there are things that I make sure don't appear on camera.
    2. Gave me the "You're too good for this job" line. That's not only an insult to the work, but to anybody who does the work. It's a manipulative play, it wreeks of "I can save you from this, but you'll owe it to me and have to put up with my bullshit!" and all kinds of pisses me off, if you couldn't already tell.
    3. Wanted to visit during New Year's and stay in a hotel room together, even though he knows I have a girlfriend, a life, and friends who I might rather spend that time with.
    4. Said, "You like me, I can tell." Yeah, dude, I thought you were kind of alright until you got all clingy and creepy.
    5. Sent me his phone number asking me to text. (I have Kik that I charge users for, but I will never give out my personal phone number, because I don't need to be bothered and have my life interupted when I'm not "working."
    I kind of went into "heroic BSOD" when all of this happened--much of it reminded me of toxic relationships I had been in, not to mention situations I've seen my friends go through with abusers and stalkers. Anyway, I never had a chance to tell him I had to cut him off. I'm guessing either he was embarrassed--he was pretty drunk the last time I talked to him, or he was upset that I didn't text him. (Boo-hoo! Cry me a fucking river!) I did block him, however.

    Just remember, you don't owe this guy anything. Whether or not you continue to accept his money is up to you, but remember. If someone is at a bar, or even a supermarket or department store, and they're making the employees or other patrons feel unsafe, they'll usually get their ass kicked out. Don't feel bad if that's what you decide with this person. And don't make excuses for them. Most people are on their best behaviour at first.

    Also, I'm relieved to know that nudes often get shoved to the corners after awhile. I often think about that.
    Check me out on tumblr! If you like what you see, feel free to follow! http://pdxfaerieprincess.tumblr.com

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    Default Re: Scared because of fan!

    Quote Originally Posted by cristiana View Post
    He says he is extremely rich and that he's fallling in love with me, which is scary, because it makes no sense, particularly since he is very intelligent and seems a strong person.... not a lonely romantic and retarded man...
    bad news for you...all men are retarded.
    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    everyone I've fucked who was awful in bed should be forced to have sex with each other so they can all, collectively, figure out why I never called them back.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Nothing makes me feel like less of an adult than walking into several other people's apartments and realizing we all own the exact same lamp from K-mart.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    The fantasy sold to women through out history that a man will come along & rescue us is a lie.

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    Default Re: Scared because of fan!

    Girls!! Your answers have been really useful and made me realize a lot of stuff!! Thank you

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