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Thread: 'Black Tie Optional' question

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    Exclamation 'Black Tie Optional' question

    My company Xmas party is this wk end & the invite says Black Tie Optional. I was under the impression that this means a floor-length gown is still expected, but one of my coworkers today said a nice cocktail length dress would also be appropriate.

    I have an appropriate gown, but also have a shorter-length dress that I love. It's the perfect Xmas dress, middle-finger length, a satiny Santa red w/ a slightly longer, sheer shell over it. (I think the outer shell is tulle.) It is spaghetti strap tho, & I should probably sew another layer of lining inside around the nipple area the fabric is completely solid but the neckline is *just* low enough in front & back that you can't really wear a bra or bandeau under it.

    I really want to wear the shorter red dress but a) from the little I have heard from my female coworkers, they are mainly going w/ gowns & b) the coworker who told me this today is one who is somewhat known in the office as a saboteur. So yes, the longer dress definitely sounds like the safer option, but .... Ugh, I really love my little red dress! Would the shorter dress really be appropriate for a black tie-optional event? Thoughts plz&thnx!

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    Default Re: 'Black Tie Optional' question

    I'd wear it. Personally. Sounds like you'll be happier in it. Go ahead and stand out. It's not necessarily the length of a dress that makes it formal...things have changed and the rules of fashion are more flexible than they used to be. If your hair, makeup and accessories are super formal it should pull together nicely. Also Target has adhesive bra cups that stick to your boobs so your nips won't show.

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    Default Re: 'Black Tie Optional' question

    Thnx for that. I also don't have to go w/ the taller heels w/ the shorter dress, since the gown is loooong on me & I am too lazy to hem it I need my 4" heels to keep from tripping over it. Shorter heels = marginally less clumsy walking & much happier knees

    I am also hoping for sm input from Djoser on this one. We already established the time & place for 8" when it comes to heels ... & other things ... What are your thoughts? How many inches do I need here?

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    Default Re: 'Black Tie Optional' question

    There are some occasions a girl really ought to have 8"



    But I'd say if you really want to wear the red dress, go for it. Though it would suck if you showed up and everyone started staring and whispering (though I suspect this is extremely unlikely).

    I will never forget making an enormous mistake in apparel at a close friend's wedding in which I was an usher, at the tender age of 22. They were all staring and whispering and I wound up telling a couple of them to fuck right off.

    How important is the job? Are you planning on making a career with this company? Also, how seriously are they taking all this. If it's Black Tie Optional, doesn't that mean 'optional'?
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    Default Re: 'Black Tie Optional' question

    Well, staying on w/ this company means a steady(tho not ginormous) paycheck & getting back into the cockpit again(lite- to supermid-size jet yaaaaayyyy!!!) whereas w/ any other job I would be flying a desk or, at best, an aircraft tug.

    I think the dress is long enough even if it is a few " above knee hgt. All the important parts are more than covered, & the invite *did* say Black Tie *Optional*. i have just nvr really liked standing out in any way other than w/ my mad pole skills, & sadly, this would be neither the time nor the place haha

    Kinda curious abt your apparel mistake, Djoser ...
    Last edited by Aniela; 12-05-2013 at 11:27 PM.

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    Default Re: 'Black Tie Optional' question

    http://www.ehow.com/how_2352525_dres...al_-event.html

    http://www.theshowpros.com/what-to-w...ptional-event/

    I think you should probably wear the gown for this one. You don't want all heads turning because your look is so different from everyone else's.

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    Default Re: 'Black Tie Optional' question

    Jeeze. Based on the descriptions of the dresses I don't think you can really go wrong. Wear whatever you feel most beautiful in.

    *Blink* it! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blink_(book))

    Now!!! Right Now! No time to think! Don't think! BLINK! What's the best dress for you? Take less than a second to tune into your gut-instinct! Choose. NOW!!!!

    That's the right answer.

    Sometimes I feel being a bit under-dressed looks better than being over-dressed for events. But that is simply my opinion. If you do feel like thinking about it... consider the venue. Can you look at company photos from events similar to this? That will give you a good idea of what is expected/appropriate.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: 'Black Tie Optional' question

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    the neckline is *just* low enough in front & back that you can't really wear a bra or bandeau under it.
    Just how low-cut is this dress? That is the only thing I would be concerned about with office holiday party attire. You don't want your cleavage out there on display, especially as a new (relatively at least, since it doesn't sound like you were there last year for the party), young, female employee.

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    Default Re: 'Black Tie Optional' question

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    Just how low-cut is this dress? That is the only thing I would be concerned about with office holiday party attire. You don't want your cleavage out there on display, especially as a new (relatively at least, since it doesn't sound like you were there last year for the party), young, female employee.


    This is the neckline, but cut slightly higher under the arms. I have tried it on w/ both a normal strapped bra & a bandeau but they both show at the edges. The silhouette is a similar cut, my dress is a few in above knee length & no band at the waist.


    ETA I tried it on w/ the bandeau, tucking it a bit lower at the edges so it doesn't show. It works, but the bandeau feels like it is gradually slipping down. I actually have the same problem w/ the long gown, there is a good amt of spandex in the bodice but even w/ that & the single shoulder strap I notice it slipping down. >_<
    Last edited by Aniela; 12-07-2013 at 09:22 AM.

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    Default Re: 'Black Tie Optional' question

    Can we see pictures of the two dress choices?

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    Default Re: 'Black Tie Optional' question

    I appreciate all of the input. Ended up going w/ the long black gown, partly b/c my accessories were on the bold side & I thought the darker colour would balance better. This turned out to be the right decision as 98% of the women were going w/ long dresses. There were a few ladies rocking knee-length cocktail dresses but I think mine would have been borderline, & I already sm how ended up on the company's Naughty list -- seriously, our placecards at the dinner tables had our names on the envelope & a card inside that said Naughty or Nice & we had to go pick from separate piles of presents depending on which we got. I & another lady pilot ended up w/ banana-shaped pens that looked like vibrators.

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    Default Re: 'Black Tie Optional' question

    *lol* I'm glad it worked out well for you. I wonder how they decide who's naughty or nice? Were the nice presents better? That seems like a weird thing to do...

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    Default Re: 'Black Tie Optional' question

    Idk how they decided it. I've worked there less than 2 months, I have no idea how they decided I must not have been a good girl! I jokingly blamed my roommate(we both work there & went to the event together) since he knows me better than almost anyone, he *must* have given them sm dirt on me the presents were in two separate piles for Naughty & Nice, & you went up & picked one out randomly. Funny enough, he was on the Naughty list as well, & ended up picking a shaker that contained a small bottle of mixer; but epic guy that he is, he gave it to another girl at the table who had come as sm1 else's guest & so didn't have a card to get a present. One more reason I love him to bits.

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