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Thread: Annoyed by my family

  1. #1
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Dizzy Annoyed by my family

    I think my family members are dysfunctional. I try to distance myself from them as much as possible so as not to say or do anything disrespectful but now that its the holidays I feel forced to be around them - which is stressing me out.

    I am mainly not happy with the fact that the people who are supposed to be close to you are the ones who negative and close-minded dream stealers. I am very liberal and open-minded and don't feel a real connection to them. But I go through the motions so I don't offend them. But something about this holiday season is making me realize I don't want to be fake anymore.

    The truth is I didn't feel like talking to my dad during thanksgiving holiday because I don't like talking on the phone or listening to anybody else who is pessimistic or wants to harp on my flaws. Maybe I should have sent a card or something but I really don't want to listen to him gripe about me not calling him back.

    I am also pissed he called my other family members acting all 'concerned' when I don't answer, when a simple text would suffice. I can't always talk on the phone (and really don't want to sometimes). I feel like he is always trying to be a victim and likes to make me feel guilty.

    Maybe its me. And this lack of daylight is cause me to have a short fuse...?

    It would be ideal to move some place away from my family of origin so I have no obligations to them and can just love them from a distance. I love them as humans and family but I don't like their qualities or being around them too long because they do and say things that get on my nerves. Maybe they won't get on my nerves so much when I'm far, far away from them.

    Are any of you all estranged from your family/parents?

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Annoyed by my family

    I find I get on a lot better with my parents when I don't live with/near them, have infrequent and short visits, and don't chat too much in depth in between. My extended family is on a different continent, and we never interact unless I'm there visiting. What's stopping you from moving far, far away from all yours?

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  4. #3
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Annoyed by my family

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    I find I get on a lot better with my parents when I don't live with/near them, have infrequent and short visits, and don't chat too much in depth in between. My extended family is on a different continent, and we never interact unless I'm there visiting.
    I figure a little distance may be a good thing. and sounds like when you are around them you keep it brief.

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    What's stopping you from moving far, far away from all yours?
    planning to do this in a few months but need some money for moving expenses.

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    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Annoyed by my family

    dude I feel ya on this one. I moved all the way across the country to CA when I was 17 just to get away from my mom & her fucked up side of the family. She "cheated" me out of a life of knowing my dad & I've always had major resentments & hostility towards her. This year though while on my travels I've stuck around down south where he & his side of the family are & I've spent Thanksgiving with them plus a few other random times & I love them dearly. I am sooo much more like his side & him than I ever was my evil mother. They've told me true stories of things that my mom did to him & to me to keep us away from each other when I was younger that angered me terribly. I'll gladly be spending Xmas with them this year for the first time in over 20 yrs & I can't wait I do love them but I still want to move away again after the holidays for myself. Yes to answer your question , I've got a dysfunctional side of the family in which I hate & it's mommy dearest .
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    God/dess audritwo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Annoyed by my family

    Totally understand. Christ, I have to mentally prepare myself to talk to my father on the phone who is 1,000 miles away. It doesn't make you bad person. I love my family, but I love them more and better from a distance.





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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Annoyed by my family

    Oy, sounds like drama... I don't get what it is that makes people cause drama in their own family. I don't think it's you at all, that's so stupid that he feels the need to call everyone else complaining.. he sounds insecure and childish. I don't blame you for not wanting to talk to him. You also sound like you just don't fit in with them, which is tough, but family should respect you and not make you the "black sheep".

    I am "estranged" from a few parts of my family... We do not speak to my dad's kids from his first marriage. All they do is say what a bad parent my dad was and how my mother is horrible (she is literally the nicest human being on the planet, she used to send all their children Christmas money for Christ's sake). Despite their shit talking, the one certainly comes knocking when he needs to borrow pain killers or money, and the other 2 start drama whenever they can, despite not having seen or spoken to my dad in probably 10 years.

    The worst is my cousin though. He's a male model (literally Zoolander incarnate, he's so stupid) and I'm 99% sure he has narcissistic personality disorder... he is one fucked up dude, whatever it is. He has these outbursts for no discernible reason: He's FB messaged an aunt, telling her she "wasn't really part of the family", and called his brother's wife a whore and said their children were illegitimate. My aunt just pretends nothing happened, and "Oh he has ADHD"... He's 26 for pete's sake.
    The last straw was when he called me at 4 am, calling me a "redneck cunt" because I had consoled his girlfriend (that he lived with, cheated on for months, and dumped 3 days before Christmas). I made sure it was passed through the grapevine that if he called me that to my face, my redneck side would introduce him to the business end of a 12 gauge. Dumb fuck.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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