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Thread: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

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    Default Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    We share one dance booth that will take up to 6 customers and their dancers at a time, so we all abide by the same rules during dances: tip to touch, nothing involving a vagina or penis, no titty-sucking. No one does that here. It is NOT okay. Period. Were it a private situation, I might feel differently about how other dancers conduct themselves during LD's....
    So this newb last night totally let her customer lick her vagina during the dance. Me and two other dancers were in there with our guys, but I was the only one who saw it. SO MUCH NOPE. I really wanted to have a civilized talk with her about it so that we all don't start having customers say, "Well, ****** let me lick her vagina/finger her butthole/various other unacceptable things, why won't you?" Also, I like her generally, and she's only been here a couple months, so I didn't want to throw her under the bus with management right away. I'm just terrible with confrontation and don't know how to go about it...I've seen girls get beat up (or verbally thrashed) by some older girls for letting customers do that - it's a really serious thing here. I don't know if I should keep an eye out and wait til she does it again before I bring it up? I don't even know....I also don't wanna wait for someone who's mean to catch her like that....I just hate that other customers are observing that behavior and internalizing that this must be acceptable, and want to nip it in the bud. Shit....This is too much responsibility for one camel!!
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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    Probably easier to talk with your managers and let them handle it. Of course, she could just lie and say it never happened but at least they know what's going on and will be ready if it happens again. Or can you just go in booths with other dancers not her?

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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    I think it's best to approach her privately and say something like, "I know you're new here but some of the dancers here have gotten violent after seeing new girls do extras, just thought I'd warn you." No need to tell her that you've seen it directly or school her on why what she's doing is wrong, that will only cause resentment and she'll probably keep doing it -- just not in front of you.

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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    Is she new to dancing overall, or just new to the club?

    If she is new to dancing then maybe giving her the benefit of the doubt is in order. Let her know that her behaviour is unacceptable but neglect to mention your coworkers' violent tendencies, or else she may simply be inclined to continue her extras on the sly.

    However, if she is a more experienced dancer, I am all for letting her get her ass beat. IMO girls like that, who know better, are a lot of the reason clean dancers have to deal w/ shitty guys who think $20 entitles them to a full menu.

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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    She is new to stripping, and was also very intoxicated when I saw what I saw, so I am trying to give her the benefit of the doubt ^ . But she's also been a part of enough conversations among the dancers where we talked about things we DON'T do with customers, so she should kinda know by now. I just really feel like the issue needs to be addressed and it bugs me to have be the one to do it :/
    I would've told management, but it would either go really badly for her (and she's new so I don't wanna do that to her), or they'd turn a blind eye entirely.
    Bwahhh this is just really uncomfortable but I feel like I have a responsibility to say something, if not for her sake, for the rest of us! Gosh
    There is no reason to take it up the ass and then act all butthurt.
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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    I was at my old club in Albuquerque when a newish dancer let a customer get his fingers in the cookie jar. She got "corrected" by several dancers jumping her in the DR. Damn glad I was on the other side.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    ^It's not uncommon. I've seen worse things happen for lesser infractions...
    There is no reason to take it up the ass and then act all butthurt.
    -Sophia_Starina

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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    I would wait till she does it again then approach her about it.

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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    This is one case where you need to stop it in its tracks. Either go to a mgr about her or confront her yourself. My friends are now facing some serious charges over a stupid little girl that wasn't worth it.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    ^^^ based on personal experience, in this economy I would NOT count on club management to do anything. In point of fact, if management finds out that this dancer is able to sell more private dances than you are thanks to offering 'extras', management may decide that the 'extras' girl should stay and that YOU should go ... with the open position being filled by another 'extras' girl. Best method is for several of the 'clean' dancers to arrange a simultaneous 'talk' with the extras girl in the DR !!!

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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    The one time I said something about a girl doing extras, management told me to mind my own business. I think that's why fellow dancers usually deal with them...ugh when I see her on Thursday I'll bring it up. Gulp.
    There is no reason to take it up the ass and then act all butthurt.
    -Sophia_Starina

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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    I just dealt with a situation really similar to this.
    There is a brand new dancer who is just 19 that started dancing at my club 2 or 3 weeks ago. She seems sweet and naive, and shes chatted with me a little since our lockers are near each other.

    Last Thursday she was doing a private dance in the booth next to where I was dancing for my customer, and I saw her breaking the rules (and law) in more ways than one.

    Later in the evening when I was getting ready to leave, she asked me why I did so many VIPs and what I did to get them and named off a few sex acts she assumed I must be doing. I was insulted, but I think part of her really truly thought that those are the things you HAVE to do to make money.

    I explained to her that not all guys are in the club looking for that. Some guys are lonely, some want a funny girl, or a beautiful girl that can give them a great back massage along with good conversation.

    I also explained she didnt have to do nasty things to make money. Letting men violate you and molest you is not part of our job description. We are dancers, and professional entertainers. If a man wants a sex act, he can hire an escort.

    Maybe you should tell the girl at your club something along those lines. You could also throw in the fact that she could get fired, arrested, or in dangerous confrontations with other dancers.

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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    ^^^ based on personal experience, in this economy I would NOT count on club management to do anything.
    ^I was thinking this also. It depends on the club and management, but they are more than likely just going to turn a blind eye (unless they are diligent about keeping the club clean and actually witness the act themselves, or enough girls complain). It depends how much time has passed since you witnessed this. It's best to confront problems like this during the same shift or soon after. Otherwise, it's hard to approach the topic. If you want to let her know that her "behaviour" was unacceptable, quietly pull her aside and give her the reasons you gave us i.e. it effects everyone, it's a clean club so she doesn't need to go to these extremes etc, etc. It may have been a drunken newbie mistake , but I wouldn't expect remorse. At least it will ease your conscious.
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    She comes out to have smoke breaks with me sometimes. I'll probably bring it up then - "Wow this hot chocolate is so tasty, btw please don't let customers into your vagina k thanks HEY how 'bout Glitter's new boob job, huh?" Lol But really. That's probably what I'll do.
    There is no reason to take it up the ass and then act all butthurt.
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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    LOL good luck & if you are anywhere on the East Coast I have trunk space

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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    LOL good luck & if you are anywhere on the East Coast I have trunk space
    ^That cracked me up !
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    Umm its her body her buisness unless the manager says something to her personally you should just let her be and let her make her money her way... Gosh i hate girls like you. Worry about your own money and thats it.. If she wants to be a whore or w.e soo fucking what mind your buisness and you saying that will affect how customers treat you... Umm no!! Stand your ground

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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    Quote Originally Posted by MISS_TENAY View Post
    Umm its her body her buisness unless the manager says something to her personally you should just let her be and let her make her money her way... Gosh i hate girls like you. Worry about your own money and thats it.. If she wants to be a whore or w.e soo fucking what mind your buisness and you saying that will affect how customers treat you... Umm no!! Stand your ground
    It does affect how customers treat clean dancers when they start demanding those sorts of favours, which are covered under prostitution bylaws & can result in a whole lot more ppl being affected than just the girl performing them if she is seen doing so by the wrong person. There is NO place for that behaviour in the SC. You're right, if she wants to be a prostitute, more power to her, but she needs to take it smwhere else. There is no excuse for her putting her coworkers jobs at risk.

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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    No offense, but I don't think its any of your business. If she wants to devalue herself like that, let her. Doesn't effect quality dancers, IMO.

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    Default Re: Best way to "correct" a newbie who is crossing boundaries??

    To the naysayers: I appreciate your point, and I wholly agree with a woman's right to be a prostitute - even a STRIPPER'S right to prostitute! If girls want to sell extras, all ill-effects on the strip club atmosphere in general aside, the amount of fucks I give is in the negative. However I get the feeling that you skimmed the OP. We have one booth that seats several dancers at a time for dances. This is the only dance option. If a girl were to suddenly allow a customer to lick her vagina in clear view of all these other customers who have been banned from doing ANYTHING to the rest of our vaginas, it DOES affect me.
    I will break this down to amend any confusion:
    Established strippers sell dances for years without allowing certain contact.
    Customers begin to observe one girl allowing previously taboo contact (during our not-so-fellatio dances, to boot).
    Customers demand this contact.
    I do not allow this contact.
    Customers leave me.
    I don't care what her morals are. I like her. She's fine. I don't give a rat's ass about anything she does until it affects me, and this does, and hopefully you can see the mechanism of that now. When private dance booths are the custom at a club, if girls do that on the DL it doesn't bother me. This is not the case. I repeat, privacy and doing your own thing and modesty and discretion and anything you do with a customer being "none of [someone's] business" is NOT the case.
    Thank you, MISS_TENAY.
    There is no reason to take it up the ass and then act all butthurt.
    -Sophia_Starina

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