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Thread: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

  1. #1
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    Default Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    I have been meaning to write this post for a while but I've been really sick lately, as per usual.

    Okay, so if I had a quarter for every time a camgirl asked me, "Why is it that you are so sick but when you are on cam you are always completely in control of your room" then I would be able to completely quit camming for good and retire.

    The reason why is that the guys can read your microexpressions.*

    You don't believe me? Check out any girls room on Streamate and turn the sound off on your computer. What is her expression really saying? Really take a close look, can you see the way her eyes narrow with anger even though she is still smiling? Guys can see it too.

    So, at this point I am sure you are saying to yourself "Well, JAC this is all and good but how the hell am I suppose to get my microexpressions under control especially since they are involuntary facial expression"

    The answer, my smart and question asking friend.......you lie to yourself!

    No, I am not joking. I am serious.

    You still don't believe me? Fine......I will prove it to you.

    Turn on your webcam and record yourself. There is no need to record audio at all since you won't be speaking.

    First think about the crappiest things that have happened to you in the last few days and really dwell on it for a new minutes. Now completely lie to yourself and tell yourself over and over 'I am having a great day!'. You don't need to BELIEVE you are having a great day. Actually believing the lie is not necessary. Pretend you are acting on a theatre stage and your role is that you are having the best dang day of your life. 'Look at me faking that I am having an amazing day, woop-de-doo!'

    Now play back the video and really look at your facial expressions. Scary, huh?

    So, next time you are on cam......lie to yourself. You just might be surprise by how much easier the money comes.







    * http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microexpression


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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    I'm going to try this out. I show lots of microexperssions when someone trolls or starts begging. Thanks JAC!





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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    I been meaning to write a similar post cause i myself realized a few things recently, thank u for bringing this subject up cause i wanna share a few things myself with the hope other girls will benefit from my own experience.

    As u guys know i often complained about not doing the money i want, i make money otherwise i wont be able to keep going but i wish to make more especially reading how much some of u guys make, i think everyone wanna make more or be a good earner actually.

    Of course there are many disadvantages in my case: things i cant perform, not able to work long hrs due to health problems, language/ location barrier, own performance limits, not appealing to masses, these are real facts keeping me from being a top earner or a very good earner at least BUT let me tell u what was my biggest issue: THE UNHAPPINESS

    Let me elaborate: i did not feel happy doing cam work, for me it was always a compromise, i always said 'this is going to be a temporary job', 'i am better than this', 'i hate doing this work, i actually dont like these men at all, i dont think i am pretty enough for this job, i think these guys find me pretty unattractive, i am looking forward the day i'll leave cam work', so on.

    Can u imagine all these ideas coming out of my eyes probably and guys feeling my emotions even i had a huge fake smile plastered on my face?
    I was not aware they could sense it even girls mentioned this here on SW a few times but they did obviously.
    It was in my eyes, gestures, my entitled attitude of 'give me ur money and gtfo of my room, i dont wanna talk to u, i dont wanna connect to u in freechat (while being paid i was happy and entertaining), tell me what u want so i decide if i kick u out or lure u in', etc, u get where i come from.

    Due to some recent events in my life i had to re-think my attitude, future, plans, everything & i came to some concludions like 'ok, looks like i am going to do this work for a while by now so i really need these guys to continue to pay me for shows, i should treat them different cause i actually need them, i should accept the fact that i am a cam girl and going to be around in this industry for a good while so i better put myself together and do my work WITHOUT hating it anymore'.

    You know what happened last nite? I could not believe myself, i treated people with a different, positive, real positive attitude and they answered back with nice tips and privates, i was sitting there talking to them (typing), smiling with a REAL smile and giving them time to 'read' me, i was relaxed, not pushing them, not trying to convince them to join me in or tip me, i did not move around at all or tease, just be happy.

    It felt soo much different i tell u guys, wow. I also got rid of the idea i had deep into my mind that i am not that attractive (long story) & told myself: 'ok, i might not be soo ugly tho otherwise these guys wont pay to see more in pvt or tip me in free chat, yes, i know i dont attract the masses but hey, there are some guys that will like me, i just need to wait for the right guy to hit my room and if i have a good attitude & send positive vibes he might want more off me'.

    I must say i read lately all the recent threads and picked all the great informations and experiences shared by u guys, it was a huge help for me to figure things out finally and use the tips in my advantage, Thank You for that!!

    So as a personal conclusion, is never too late to learn, things happen in our lives that will make us completely change our views & puts things into a new perspective, i hope for the best for everyone working this job.

    What JAC wrote is totally true, i always sense what girls on cam feels about doing their work if i see the face, even i dont see the face but body only i still sense how they feel about their work just from the body language.

    Voice tells alot too, every cell of us is 'talking' to people watching us.

    I am not entitled to tell people what to do or how to do things, i wanted to share my thinking, emotions and feelings here and own experience in this matter so u ladies can have an insight of my mind.

    I dont give advices, if what i write here is useful for u then i am happy to know i helped someone understanding things better.
    Have peace and Good luck, with Love, Alice


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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    omg.
    Trying this today.
    I am often so sick lately and they can absolutely tell.

    Thank you thank you!


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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    Thanks for posting this. I notice that when I smile and really try to feel happy like I already have the money it's easier for me. I recently started putting more eggs in my basket because the site that I'm on started to get bad it was like the more hrs I put in my hourly was going down compared to what I was making last year. That was making me so depressed I would log out crying. So now that I started doing more I'm not feeling as stressed when I log on and I'm getting more because I changed my attitude. It's like when I really needed the money desperately they wouldn't go private or tip like they sensed it. When I'm more relaxed and easy going I get more. I follow the law of attraction and I've really tried to feel happy even though things aren't where I want them to be at the moment things are improving.

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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    Thanks JAC ! I remember when you mentioned microexpressions a few months ago and I was so interested because it will help me to get those under control.

    Trying this in t minus 90 minutes.

    I'm sorry you have been so sick. I hope your body gets a chance to heal over the holidays.
    It's kinda hard to be turned on when you know your internet, utilities, etc don't accept dicks as a form of payment!
    ~ Marina Starr

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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    This helped me so much today!! I'm going to try to remember this every time I log on Thanks for posting it <3

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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    I am MORTIFIED to record & watch myself. Oh man.
    mellymay.com

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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    That was awesome [email protected]

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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    Quote Originally Posted by MellyMay View Post
    I am MORTIFIED to record & watch myself. Oh man.
    Ah, but you won't be 'watching yourself. You just happen to be looking at a video of an actress on the screen who for some reason looks exactly like you do.

    Hmmm, still no go? Well, if that lie to yourself doesn't help get over the anxiety of recording yourself then the exercise should also work even if you don't record at all......the results will just be less dramatic when you watch it since you are watching yourself in real time so it makes it hard for your brain ton compare and contrast.

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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    Honestly, I think this has been part of my problem lately. I can tell when I look at the still shots that cams.com does while you are streaming. Some of them I'm like damn, do I really look like that?

    I'm going to try this when I log back on tonight. Thanks JAC!
    xoxo ~ Sarah




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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    This is the entire premise of the Law Of Attraction. It all starts in your brain with positive thinking. And then is expressed outwardly to the universe in your body language (including face) and positive energy that surrounds you, which draws in the the things you want in life.

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    God/dess justanothercamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    This is the entire premise of the Law Of Attraction. It all starts in your brain with positive thinking. And then is expressed outwardly to the universe in your body language (including face) and positive energy that surrounds you, which draws in the the things you want in life.
    Please leave the Law of Attraction out of my thread. My suggestion has nothing to do with the Law of Attraction.

    Last time I checked, lying to yourself has nothing to do with 'positive thinking.' If anything, my suggestion is the opposite of the Law of Attraction. The goal isn't to actually be positive at all. It is to fake looking positive. Those are two completely different concepts.

    I have read many posts where you insist that you need to believe in the Law of Attraction for it to work and I am actually suggesting the opposite in this thread.
    Last edited by justanothercamgirl; 12-19-2013 at 06:00 AM. Reason: We were told by a mod that the Law of Attraction doesn't belong in Camming Connection and yet here we are again.

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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahTime View Post
    Honestly, I think this has been part of my problem lately. I can tell when I look at the still shots that cams.com does while you are streaming. Some of them I'm like damn, do I really look like that?

    I'm going to try this when I log back on tonight. Thanks JAC!
    Oh yesssss, i dont like that feature on cams.come for this exact reason, i emailed them to ask to disable the automatic snap shots and they said is not possible, it stressed me out to know they take these pics while i was not aware, i want to display what i am comfy with and when i pose, hate to go in archives and un-tick all the bad pics lol. I gave cams.com a few tries and was not working for me, never did payout and i gave up on it, they not fetish-friendly from what i seen, members are pretty cheap there. Anyway, was surprised to see some of my facial expressions, i am VERY expressive by the way.

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    Featured Member LoraDoll's Avatar
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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    in my opinion there are 2 ways:
    When i started cam, i used to lie myself... that s why many guys loved me i think. And that s why i hated so much camming.
    Now, i changed my mind: i m a modell. I dont need to smile always, i doing a job there. If i m angry, or whatever, i dont mind to show it. Any impression i feel, i just let it be, naturally. It s okay.

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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    and another thing: if i feel that "thundering" thing in my eyes, i just give some minutes myself ... breathning deep, calm down. There s nothing to be angry.
    Or, log out, drink/eat stg, than back, when i m calm.

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    God/dess justanothercamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    Quote Originally Posted by LoraDoll View Post
    in my opinion there are 2 ways:
    When i started cam, i used to lie myself... that s why many guys loved me i think. And that s why i hated so much camming.
    Now, i changed my mind: i m a modell. I dont need to smile always, i doing a job there. If i m angry, or whatever, i dont mind to show it. Any impression i feel, i just let it be, naturally. It s okay.
    I hope I didn't give off the impression that you have to be nice as pie to the guys all the time.

    Just yesterday I was telling everyone in my room that they were morons and idiots for not pledging into a gold show but I did it with a sly smile on my face and was playful about it. After the show failed I ended up in back-to-back privates.

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  30. #18
    Featured Member AliceFun's Avatar
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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    ^^^ You did not JAC, if i want to look pissed at a guy (look on cam actually) for whatever reason i will, i know u meant the general attitude and face expressions on cam we often not aware of.

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    Featured Member Charlotteslut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    I remember reading something for Psych class that said fake smiling actually does increase your reported happiness. Just the act of smiling can sort of trick your brain? And just seeing someone fake smile can increase someone elses happiness. so they are like wow...maybe I should give you some money. The psychology behind sales is fascinating and a little depressing, lol.

    Anyway, when I'm down but need to work I focus on faking being pleasant. Faking happiness often just makes me sadder. Like a sad clown, lolol. But I focus on being nice/chill/open and it's been working for me. Sometimes I'll shift the focus to the guys if I don't want to talk about myself. People typically love talking about themselves and it gives me something to focus on that isn't me/my life.

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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    Quote Originally Posted by Charlotteslut View Post
    The psychology behind sales is fascinating and a little depressing, lol.
    If you want a fun and interesting psychology book to read, check out -- Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes?: Bodies, Behavior, and Brains--The Science Behind Sex, Love, & Attraction by Jena Pincott

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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself


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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    The idea behind the Law of Attraction puts off a lot of people because it blames the person if something goes wrong in their life. I think it's healthier to understand that sometimes stuff happens, and it's out of your control for x reason. (Some people say x is God, others don't believe in that and think things happen randomly. Insert your belief for x.)

    The art of lying to yourself acknowledges that things can go wrong outside of your control. With this, you are still believing in yourself and fixing the root of the problem. It's just a different value system, which leads to a different method for the same result.

    I believe we're all smart ladies, here. No one is stupid for their own understanding or conclusion on why the world is the way it is. If this helps some of the people who are not benefiting from the Law of Attraction, there's nothing wrong with a similar method for the same end result.

    Personal anecdote, the fake it 'till you make it methods works for me. I tend to be too hard on myself, and blaming myself for something out of my control makes it worse. I hope this helps.

    https://discord.gg/uj2YTKV <-- online chat group for camgirls, clipgirls, and strippers! (No men allowed.)

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  40. #23
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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    Quote Originally Posted by anoncamgirl View Post
    The idea behind the Law of Attraction puts off a lot of people because it blames the person if something goes wrong in their life. I think it's healthier to understand that sometimes stuff happens, and it's out of your control for x reason. (Some people say x is God, others don't believe in that and think things happen randomly. Insert your belief for x.)

    The art of lying to yourself acknowledges that things can go wrong outside of your control. With this, you are still believing in yourself and fixing the root of the problem. It's just a different value system, which leads to a different method for the same result.

    I believe we're all smart ladies, here. No one is stupid for their own understanding or conclusion on why the world is the way it is. If this helps some of the people who are not benefiting from the Law of Attraction, there's nothing wrong with a similar method for the same end result.

    Personal anecdote, the fake it 'till you make it methods works for me. I tend to be too hard on myself, and blaming myself for something out of my control makes it worse. I hope this helps.
    For me personally, what I find really turns me off about the Law of Attraction is the way that some people who believe in it will try to push LOA on others in order to criticize and judge them. I've had more then one person on this forum have their own definite ideas about my own personal 'negatively' and share with me the many reasons that I wasn't a more 'successful camgirl' because of it.

    My real problem isn't with the Law of Attraction. What I dislike is fanatics of all types, be they religious, academic or environmental. Pretty much any person who uses their personal belief system to smugly judge other people's life choices.

    I seem to be rambling now. Argh, I hate when I do that! I am so sorry, I am not sure if anything I've said so far makes any sense. I guess what it all comes down to for me personally is this.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson said, “For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you.”

    And I agree.

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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    Name:  7c7af5ba6c96d81c3749ae3ba8ef30d9.jpg
Views: 502
Size:  218.6 KBI'm sooo glad that You resurrected this thread Jac!
    I have noticed that because my normal resting face looks like I'm sad, pissed, or uneasy, I have watched it affect my income.
    My eyes are like the saying "A window to the soul", where all of my emotions are seen. So I have decided not to show them. (On certain sites that don't require it).
    At first I did it, because I was worried that someone was recording me, both in free chat, and paid. (a spell of paranoia maybe), or maybe not.
    Then I did it because I was ill during the summer, but needed to work, and didn't have the energy to do eye makeup.
    It has worked out for me 100% I'm happy to say!
    Smiling does not come naturally when I'm in a room of freeloaders, which, I know, is a big part of camming.
    It may sound odd, but I make the most $$$$ when I don't show my face at all, and am very quiet. Probably because men like a bit of mystery, and are intrigued.
    Since I am mostly a Domme, and in a certain 'niche', I guess that's why it works.
    No custie has ever complained. Most of THEM don't show their faces when they turn on their cam either.
    Sometimes I can get talkative and will naturally smile a lot if I really feel it..

    I also have stopped giving freeloaders, or rude guys any verbal attention whatsoever, because nothing clears a chat room faster than a bitchy or angry model.
    This has been my experience, so I'm going to continue use what works for me.

    Great thread!

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    Default Re: Microexpressions and The Art of Lying to Yourself

    This is a great thing to bring up and I'm glad you did, because sometimes I really do have to check my facial expressions on cam. In my observation, the mood of my room can change perceptibly if my expression is cheerful- but only if it also extends to my eyes. If I'm just smiling, but not smiling with my eyes, it doesn't have the same effect. It's hard to master because I'm kind of bad at faking stuff lol. But I'm working on keeping my face happy looking until the room picks up during a shift and I'm genuinely happy.
    Follow me on Twitter @KimKlassMFC
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